A beautiful and poignant memoir on the importance of breaking ancestral trauma and toxic masculinity - even when the masculinity that is toxic in this case is not the stereotypical one of abuse or mental or emotional cruelty, (the the sound of things the author’s father was a deeply loving and kind man) but an inability to express one’s emotions or love for their children because nobody ever taught them to do the same, which can also cause damage, even if not intended.

The author is a gifted writer, and I was intrigued and hooked about his stories about family. Also an important reminder of the damage bigotry can cause (the author faced racism as a child, and is learning to break free of society’s expectations of him in situations like holding his father’s hand in a hospital room - which society had raised him to believe was something only gay people did, regardless of familial connection).

An incredibly honest, raw, emotionally mature, and spiritual recollection of his memories. He holds himself to accountability and is hyper aware of many toxic situations (if you let them be) - including comforting his son during a wrestling match - and how to turn them into positive and generationally healing scenarios, instead. Which is more than can be said for many men his age and older, and I’m grateful people like Mike are in the world to change that.

I also loved that the author’s name is Mike, which felt poignant to me. My late brother shared the same name, and we lost him to suicide. I often wonder if he had this Mike’s insight, or the tools this Mike has to cope with life and doing better for his own children, if we’d still have our Mike with us. And I’m so grateful to this Mike for doing the hard work to heal generations, and to pave a safe path for so many other men, boys, and people behind him. 🫶🏻

My husband was raised on one side by cowboys, and on another side by extremist, often unhealthy and non-inclusive religion. As a result there was and is a lot of toxic masculinity in his life. I had gotten two books on healthy masculinity and male feminism by someone I previously admired for our own baby son, for when he was old enough to read. I would later be deeply saddened by this person’s hypocrisy when it later came out he was being accused of horrific sexual harassment towards some of the women he claimed to stand for and protect.

I am so grateful Mike’s book can replace those books for my son, and any other of my descendants who wish to read it, so that they can have healthy and healing advice from an honest and integral role model. Thank you so much, Mike, for writing this. 🫶🏻 I will forever be grateful on how much this changed my life. Even though I am a woman reading this, I feel it provides healing tools and skills that mothers can also provide to their children, and in true Mike inclusive and loving spirit, I believe women are also included in the importance of helping to break these unhealthy generational traumas.