In the most affectionate way possible, reading this book was a lot like watching a car crash: I couldn’t put it down, even though I was practically reading through my fingers for the majority of it. I mean this as high praise. YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN is visceral, disturbing, gut-wrenching and skin-crawling. I’m surprised that I liked it so much.
It’s disgusting, but somehow written in a way that is not gratuitously so. AJW is very transparent about how this book was written in response to the overturning of Roe v. Wade, and it’s evident without being explicit. The book makes an undeniable statement: things that are happening in our world are disgusting. Abuse is disgusting. Rape is disgusting. Being forced to carry a baby in a body that doesn’t feel like your own is disgusting. The laws that make this a reality for some individuals are disgusting. It doesn’t take an apocalypse of mutant alien invertebrates to see this.
The writing on self-harm and intrusive thoughts is among the most honest and raw that I’ve ever seen in fiction or nonfiction. It is all so deeply, deeply personal. AJW’s use of limited perspective is insightful in how Crane sees himself, as even though it’s written in the third-person, we only ever know Crane’s point of view and his thoughts. It’s as if this entire book was written by Crane as he watches himself from someone else’s viewpoint, which is exactly how dysphoria/dysmorphia/dissociation can feel. It’s such a subtle but effective way to write a character trait, and AJW is a master of show-don’t-tell through his narration alone. I’ve read one of AJW’s other books in the past and I’m still blown away that this is his adult debut.
He does an excellent job of writing human characters, too. Despite having more flaws than not, many of the characters are likable because they are realistic. They make mistakes, lash out, and hurt the people they care about, but it’s made all the better because it shows that they have people that they care about in the first place. It’s deeply touching, and I like how nearly every character either fulfills their arc or gets what they deserve, ha.
Not to spoil too much, but my favorite character is (view spoiler)
The writing is what really makes this book for me. I personally don’t think anyone else but AJW could’ve written it and made it readable, let alone enjoyable. This is a book about agency and the effects of it being stripped away. Many scenes were nauseating to me (particularly those of sexual violence), but again, none of them felt gratuitous or fetishistic. Hard to stomach, sure, but in the same manner that real-life abuse and the trauma surrounding it is. I don’t believe that a book about abortion — or, rather, the lack thereof — could convey the very real trauma surrounding abortions without divulging the ugliness of it all, and I think AJW did so without being disrespectful or insensitive to victims. I did find myself skimming over a few detailed scenes, and recognizing that I had the ability to do that, when there are millions upon millions of cases of people not being able to do so, will sit with me for a very long time. Whenever I was uncomfortable, I could just skip that part. Crane and anyone who saw their experiences reflected in Crane could not. To me, that’s the most important takeaway from a book brimming with so many important things to say.
I don’t know if I’d personally recommend this book to anyone I know, but I feel like this is a book that NEEDS to be read, if that makes any sense at all, hahah. I absolutely can’t stop thinking about it. There are still so many symbols I want to touch upon and how I understood them — like Crane’s mutism, Jess’s role, what the hive even is — but it’s something you need to experience by reading.
This book will inhabit one of two possible worlds in the future: it will either be a cautionary tale or only become more topical. Either way, YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN is vital.

NUMBER ONE: read the TWs!!!
You Weren't Meant to Be Human rocked me to my core. What a horrifying, beautiful, amazing book. AJ White is a master at developing emotionality in what is otherwise an incredibly bleak and terrifying narrative, and he's done it again in his adult debut. This story blew my brain wide open (positive) and changed me. In a world where trans communities are under attack for simply living, this displays a near-reality (and in some cases, the *actual* reality) and lived experiences of folks persecuted by those in power. The things we're willing to do in the service of safety, of stopping to feel the constant incursion of hateful speech and actions, of ableism and transphobia. YWMTBH speaks directly to power and challenges readers to understand the desperation of trans folks--and the depravity of power pushing back against their humanity. I'm going to be thinking about this read for a long, long time. Five stars, but wish I could give it 100.

4 stars!

I can't believe I read the content warnings and still found myself clutching my pearls in shock the whole book, but that's just horror done well for you.

Since he swore loyalty to the hive, Crane's life has not been good but it has been better, freeing him to live as a man and hurt himself as much as he wants. The hive turns on him, however, requiring that Crane carry a child in their service despite his rapidly deteriorating sanity. I mean, Andrew Joseph White never fails to provide a great book that also satisfies the little thing inside of me that hungers for suffering. Having said that, I definitely liked this but I feel a little more mixed than I was expecting.

First, all of the good stuff, and there's quite a bit. The process of pregnancy, particularly forced pregnancy, is given all of the horror it deserves. Pregnancy is fucking terrifying on its own, and as a trans guy myself who would have had a hysterectomy by now if doctors didn't insist on anyone under 30 being too young for it, I felt it completely. I also think this is one of the best depictions of intrusive thoughts that I've read. Too often it feels like "edgy guy thinks about fucked up shit because he's edgy" when it's really a kind of mental tic that can truly interfere with a person's functioning. Also, I just enjoyed the reading experience. It always feels weird to say with horror, but it's a really captivating book and I didn't want to put it down.

All that said, I think the endings just left me a little unsure about what conclusions I'm supposed to come to. I don't think a book needs a single central thesis, but I'm having trouble nailing down how I'm supposed to feel, particularly in regards to the messaging on trusting people to help you. It seems to go both ways, or at least leave that a bit ambiguous. It's not a huge problem with the book, but when compared to AJW's last two works (The Spirit Bares Its Teeth and Compound Fracture my beloveds) I'm not sure this one quite gets there for me.

I still think it's brilliant and showcases some very real issues regarding bodily autonomy and trans rights, especially if politics keep moving the way they have been. AJW is still an auto-read author for me, and I can't wait to see what he puts out next!

Thank you to Andrew Joseph White and Saga Press for this ARC in exchange for my full, honest review!

Happy reading!

“You Weren't Meant to Be Human” is Andrew Joseph White's latest novel. Like his previous work, “Hell Followed Us,” White continues to craft visceral, uncomfortable, and emotionally charged queer horror.

This novel explores themes of bodily autonomy, resilience, and trauma. The main protagonist, Crane, is a nonverbal/mute trans man with autism. He finds himself in a sadomasochistic relationship that borders on abuse. In this world, he and his partner are compelled to obey and feed a hive when they discover that Crane is pregnant. Now forced to carry the pregnancy to term, Crane grapples with overwhelming dysphoria and intrusive thoughts.

This book is intriguing and will leave readers with more questions than answers. It's important for readers to review the content warnings before diving in. This thought-provoking read is suspenseful and compelling, taking readers on a reflective journey through some deeply emotional topics. Fans of White will surely appreciate this brutal and psychologically horrific new offering. Thank you to NetGalley and Saga for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

review posted on Goodreads as well

Andrew Joseph White is one author that I trust to write an amazing book, even if it’s amazing in the most disturbing way possible. You Weren’t Meant To Be Human does not hold back. Crane is, as my friend describes him, so crunchy. He is an absolute mess (/compliment). My experience with transness is vastly different from Crane’s but I full understood where he was coming from, thanks to AJW’s incredible writing.
(Side note: Andrew, u good?!?!)
This book is full of graphic descriptions of body horror in terms of pregnancy, and truly encompasses the emotional horror of being pregnant when you 100% do not want to be.
AND THAT ENDING?!?!?! (No spoilers but WTF)

This is a book that I will have to take care in recommending, because I know some people will not be able to read some of the topics covered in this book, but for those that are okay with the listed content warnings: 10/10 recommend.

This is the type of book that will have conservatives clutching their pearls. I am surprised that this book isn’t already banned because WHEW this was dark, graphic, and disturbing. If you hate worms or body horror, stay clear of this book. If you’re like me and you want a book to be as disturbing as possible, put this one on your TBR list. What a great adult horror debut.

There are a LOT of trigger warnings here. There is NO animal abuse, but just about everything else that you can think of is there. Check the author’s review or page to see them. There are some spoilers in the list, with one very large spoiler, but take care of yourself because this book will not be for everyone.

Andrew Joseph White pushed the boundaries of what is acceptable to write. This is the type of horror I want to see more of. I want more horror written by fresh voices, featuring marginalized characters. Writing from Crane’s perspective brought a fresh take on what a real and traumatic horror pregnancy can be for a trans man, let alone a trans and autistic man. The characters felt real and multi-dimensional.

There were a few too many loose ends here for my personal taste and some bits that I wish were a bit more fleshed out. However that was the drawback of writing from Crane’s perspective, and I would not have wanted this book to have multiple POVs.

I would recommend for anyone who wants to be nauseous while reading a book, loves to be shocked and horrified, enjoys reading about cults, never wants to be pregnant, and does not have children.

A compelling case of cult horror wherein said cult takes a narrative backseat to the true horror of being betrayed by your own body.

Holy shit. I don't know if I can say shit here but I just read the last chapters and so I think I reserve the right to say shit here. Andrew Joseph White continues to amaze me. I've been needing something to fill the hole that Yellowjackets left in me and this more than filled it. Love this book in all of its horrifyingly beautiful expression of queerness and love. And also the trans feeling of horror when your body betrays you but it's not really your body's fault. Once again, thank you Andrew Joseph White, for putting my feelings into a book and filling it with gruesome life.

I devoured this book it was excellent, it was disturbing and horrific.
Crane, an autistic mute trans man, fled his home to join the Hive and was desperate to help it. He is also in a relationship with Levi who might be abusive but the lines are blurry also working for the Hive.
When Crane discovers he is pregnant, his world falls apart and quickly find out the Hive doesn't want him to get rid of it.
It's a journey of him facing his trans identity, his trauma and mental illness when nobody can help him forced to have an unwanted pregnancy.
It is horrifying and uncomfortable as any good horror book, it was heavy as it didn't shy from gore and blood nor his urges of self destruction.
It hit me hard as a trans man myself and could not imagine how to handle it myself without also falling in despair and I admire the representation it gives and I will always sincerely thank AJW to bring this kind of story to life that is necessary in my opinion, especially in this political climate.
So, I adored this book and i will absolutely wait for his next book as always

You Weren't Meant to be Human follows Crane as he attempts to live for the Hive.
Crane, a trans autistic man who is mute, left his home and the world he knew because the Hive gave him permission to transition and stop speaking.
As a worker for the Hive, Crane helps man the gas station used to launder money, clean up the bodies the Hive orders them to kill, and has a boarderline abusive relationship with Levi whose also works for the Hive.
When Crane discovers Levi got him pregnant, he runs to his only friends outside the Hive for help with the problem.
All too soon, he discovers that the Hive doesn't want him to get help.
Set in a not too distant future, Human deals with topics of trans identity, trauma, mental illness, and being forced to bear an unwanted pregnancy.
This book is brutal. It is graphic. You'll be sick to your stomach and cringing the entire time and still will not be prepared for this ending.
Crane is a scarily relatable character and made me realize it probably time to go back to therapy.
Make sure you're in a decent headspace before you read this book, but my God you need to read this book.

You Weren’t Meant To Be Human was one of my most anticipated releases of this year, as it’s AJW’s debut adult novel. Given how amazing (and amazingly disturbing) his YA stories are, I knew this was going to be a new level of fucked up. I KNEW.

Oh boy. I had no idea. YWMTBH is the kind of book that brutally carves its way into your mind and nestles there whether you want it to or not. It doesn’t need your permission.

To sum it up without spoiling anything, Crane is a mute, autistic, trans man who’s...going through stuff. He’s not okay, to say the least. He’s also a part of a cult, the hive (imagine a sentient alien mass of worms and flies - lovely). The hive saved Crane, it loves him, it gives him a place to be himself. Then Crane finds out that he’s pregnant. He very much doesn’t want to be, fuck off, thank you very much. No way in hell.
The problem is, the hive that loves Crane so much, demands his pregnancy to be carried to term...

It’s the heaviest, most revolting book I’ve picked up in a damn while. And that’s exactly what I wanted, call me a weirdo. This is what I expect when I read an adult horror. I want it to horrify me thoroughly, and not with made-up monsters. To make me read in intervals because I frequently have to stop just to breathe. To shock me without feeling like scenes have been written solely for the shock value.

This will hit especially hard for everyone with a womb for whom pregnancy has always been something absolutely unwanted, a body horror in itself. It’s a horrifying scenario for me; I can’t even imagine what it’s like for a trans man. Oh wait, now I can...

The story is written so masterfully that it provokes visceral reactions. You’ll feel disgust, fear, helpless rage, utter misery...maybe even an uncomfortable arousal at times. (Fuck I had to read this clutching my emotional support plushy - and I didn’t even know I had one till now lol)

Nevertheless, I can always trust AJW to lead us through muck and gore and misery to a terrible, yet cathartic conclusion. And the Acknowledgments at the end just about killed me, my heart was put through a goddamn wringer that’s for sure...

I don’t even know who to recommend this to. Probably to people who like to stare long and hard at things that terrify them, to make themselves squirm. If you DO pick it up, do yourself a favor and look up all the CWs on Andrew’s page - they’re not only numerous, but are explored thoroughly and in detail. Read it, but be mentally prepared (at least a bit).

So, I utterly hated this book. I also need to build an altar for my future physical copy. And I would love to sit every pro-lifer down and read this to them over and over again till they’re sick.

I’m already dreading the next adult story AJW cooks up, and I’ll read and buy it anyway. 🖤🖤

Massive thank you to Christine Calella from Simon&Schuster/Saga Press for kindly allowing me to read this as an e-ARC through Netgalley. I may or may not have cried.

I want to start by saying that time novel is BRUTAL. Dark and bleak don't begin to describe the world this author has created for the main character of Crane. I mean, I read horror every day. I've read splatterpunk and extreme books to the point where I might be a bit desensitized. But this one hits hard... like a wrecking ball opposed to a punch.

It's set in a near future which has hives of flies and worms. They are sentient, they speak to those serving them. They draw in people who feel unwanted, worthless, and unloved. In exchange for their "blessing" of acceptance, they require human flesh to consume. Murder is almost a mundane affair to these people who serve their hives.

Crane is a younger trans man. He's filled with a palpable self loathing and low self esteem. His lover is an ex-marine and a serial killer. A brute of a human being who thrives on pain and suffering of others. He abuses C ane sexually, mentally, and emotionally. Crane at first enjoys the abuse and even gets off on it.

But then Crane becomes pregnant. And the hive will not allow him to abort the fetus. And what happens next is a twisted, horrifying, extremely gruesome and messed up setting as we see Crane through the pregnancy and ensuing chaos.

This is queer horror at it's abosolute terrifying. A grief and gore filled read which will give even the heartiest reader pause at times. Graphic and bloody but written with enough heart to wish to whatever god you believe in for a somewhat happy ending even though you know that's not happening. I highly recommend this one.

My first thought is wow. What on earth did I just read? It was gross, it was devastating, it was horrifying, it was real. Evil alien worms aside, this felt so very real. I felt like I was transported into this world, into this reality, and couldn’t escape.

There was no escape from this book. It followed me and there isn’t any going back.

I’m so grossed out right now.

Thank you to Saga Press and NetGalley for an ARC of this book. All opinions are my own and are not influenced by the manner in which I received it.

I am a transgender man for whom pregnancy is not a horror show but rather a special interest, a part of what it means to be human that fascinates me. (And also a horror show because WHAT THE FUCK. How do humans keep doing it?) And yet, I have never in my life felt more seen. Crane is relatable in a million ways. It feels like Crane was plucked from my head. Even the understanding of pregnancy feels like being seen. It’s real and raw and visceral.

This story feels like it was written because it a story that tears out of your body, that some force beyond you is pushing to write, to tell, to say. It feels like the story that pours from you in terrifying snatches, where you finally check the word count and it’s, “holy hell that’s 10k?” . It’s a story that when written needs to be shared and told. AND I AM SO GLAD IT WAS.

This is a book that forced me back to nature. Or as close to back to nature you can get when you live in a very walkable city. Me and the dog went on a very long exploration of my neighborhood as I walked, reading and reading and reading.

This story makes me want to go back to my West Virginia work conference just so I can walk to the gas station/liquor store while reading it, to feel grounded in a story as old as the Appalachian mountains.

This is a book that you sleep with because your body says, “fuck you we’re going to sleep” and you wake up and the first thought on your mind is the book.

Crane is maybe my favorite protagonist ever. He is the most seen I’ve ever felt in any novel ever. Eveeeeer. He is just so…

The thing about autism is that can’t explain why he is so relatable just that he is. He is so me.

I predicted the end because I’m a writer and autistic and see writing on the wall and am of course fascinated by pregnancy and all of its many terrible potential endings. When it happened though, it shocked and devastated me. I knew it was coming and yet…

Congratulations on joining the ranks of books that have made me cry.

It was just… perfect.

Devastating and perfect.

Okay uh, other stuff. The only ex-Marine is Lee Harvey Oswald and apparently Levi. Like no forreal, disgraced enough to earn that ex in ex-Marine which if you know Marines, that’s saying a lot about how fucked up he is.

This book was so deeply and painfully relatable. It’s riveting. Warning to settle in and make sure you’re comfortable because you won’t put it down.

It’s amazing. It makes me want to give every other book I’ve reviewed 4 stars because THIS is a five star read.

Literally altered my brain chemistry.

Just READ IT. READ IT. You won’t regret it. (Well, if you’re emotionally stable you might.)

It’s just… fantastic.

Holy hell. AJW was already one of my favorite authors, but this book just further solidified that title.

You Weren’t Meant to Be Human is terribly relevant, delightfully gross, horrifically devastating, and so very scary (as well as relatable—just the concept of pregnancy is terrifying to me and makes me want to puke—sorry to my friends with kids. I’m just being honest).

I loved the protagonist, Crane. He was complex and messy, and even in his moments of violence, kept everything grounded in this world with human-eating alien worms.

The ending was wild and gory and perfect, and I will be thinking about Crane for a very long time.

Definitely be mindful of content warnings, but if you can stomach it, this book is so worth it. I couldn’t put it down.