4.5⭐️

This was incredible and I feel sick to my stomach. I don't read much horror outside of AJW's YA books, so I knew going into it that this would be a brutal read. Knowing it was coming didn't make it any less gut-wrenching.

This book is disgusting and grotesque and deeply cathartic. It's is about abuse and a loss of autonomy. The sci-fi elements are fairly secondary. The alien bug/worm hive is one of Crane's abusers, and its alien nature affects its mechanics, but at its core it's just another abuser. In a lot of ways it's more metaphor than anything else, another parasite feeding off Crane, violating his mind and body.

AJW's adult writing style is distinct from his YA books, but Crane's story is just as consuming and compulsively readable. This was a disturbing read, and I'll need to some time to recover, but the more I sit with it, the more I appreciate it.

4.5 stars, rounded up.

Thanks to NetGalley for an eARC of this title!


This is a tricky book for me to review. It is very good, and I enjoyed reading it, but I was also very disturbed by the content. I think if you have the stomach for it it is a valuable read, but PLEASE read the trigger warnings first.

You Werent Meant to be Human is a book set in a near-future America that deals with a lot of triggering topics. The main character is a trans autistic man named Crane who is part of a cult led by the Hive, a sentient pile of worms and flies. When he finds out he's pregnant, the Hive commands he carry the child to term. What follows is the emotional journey Crane goes through as he struggles with body dysphoria, an abusive partner, and the desire to end his own life.

This doesn't sound like a good time, and it was not a good time reading about, but I did finish the book in 5 days as opposed to the usual month it takes me to finish a novel. It pulls you in the same way a car crash does: you know you shouldn't look but you need to know how bad the damage is. This is not to say AJW is a poor writer, quite the opposite: he knows how to keep his readers on edge, disgusted at what is happening but desperate to know how it all ends.

This is probably the most disturbing book I've ever read (and I read a fair bit of horror). Because of that, I find it difficult to recommend to the average reader. I think fans of AJW's previous works will enjoy it, along with readers of extreme horror. Overall, it is a terrifying and powerful book that serves as a grim warning of the possible future we face after the fall of Roe v. Wade.

For anyone who loves a really disturbing horror with uncomfortable themes, with questionably deeper meanings, this book is for you. Just wow. I won’t lie, there were parts I had to skip over because it just made my stomach twist, but this was an incredible read.

This book was horrible in the best way possible. It was a perfect horror novel because I was so scared for the main character and for the impact this story would have on me for years to come. This book is disgusting, disturbing, and heartbreaking. Crane endures so much violence from those who are meant to care and support him. The story focuses on how Crane’s bodily autonomy, his identity, and his safety is being ripped away from him, and he is left powerless to endure it.

The horrors of this book felt so real because it is the reality for so many people who are denied their right to bodily autonomy and the right to live safely as themselves. Set in the very near future, this book provides a speculative look at our reality as trans people are constantly under attack and abortion is criminalized.

Multiple times throughout this book, I would have to stop because of the panic I felt over whether this would be how I felt if I was forced to carry a pregnancy I did not want. How far would I be pushed to regain control over myself as it’s ripped away from me. This book deeply speaks to the wrongness and the harms endured when people who are capable of pregnancy are forced against their will to carry that pregnancy. Crane’s pain throughout this story is so real because it is real.

I loved this book from page one, but by far the best part of this book was the ending. It was visceral and real and both scary and comforting. I mourn the end of this book. This will be a book I will always remember. I am so grateful for Andrew Joseph White for sharing this story with us.

Dark, disturbing, tragic, twisted and sick are words that I would use to describe You Weren’t Meant to Be Human by Andrew Joseph White. For his debut adult horror novel it’s both shocking and heartbreaking. There are questions that I’m left to ponder about the worm cult. The characters were flawed and fleshed out. The pace felt right. The action at 95% in was unexpected. ARC was provided by Saga Press via NetGalley. I received an advance reading copy for free and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

As a new and first time mother, I want to start off by saying this book is NOT for the faint of heart, especially the ending, so please read trigger warnings before going into it.

✨️ PLOT: 5/5

There was something so intriguing about everything that was happening in this book that made it impossible to put down. I kept wondering more about the hive, about what it meant. I kept finding myself saying, "ah, isn't that just like how our country is headed now?" and it really kept me at the edge of my seat the entire read.

I was hoping for a happy ending but I obviously did not actually expect one. The ending was very sad and made me want to cry, but I understand why the author ended it this way.

✒️ WRITING: 5/5

This book is incredibly well written, to the point where I can easily say I will read anything this man writes on the future, it was so easy to follow but deep at the same time. The descriptions had a lot of depth without being over the top.

🪱 CHARACTERS: 5/5

It was really easy to hate the characters I was supposed to hate, like the characters I was supposed to like, and feel all of the sympathy in the world for Crane for what his life turned into, how even having a loving childhood cannot always save people who have mental health problems, and that even parents who would love their transgender child cannot save them from a country who tells them they are less than human. I hope this book changes the rhetoric of at least some transphobic people out there today.

Thank you so much for the opportunity to read this beautifully disgusting book. I was given this opportunity as an ARC reader on Netgalley in exchange for my honest review.

You Weren't Meant to Be Human was so repulsive and absolutely nauseating, but like in the best way. Like everything ever written by AJW, 5 FREAKING STARS

I've never been impregnated by worms, so I figured I would be reading this book as a way to nauseatingly disturb myself. I'd get a story about the body horror that is pregnancy, especially in a post Roe world. Yeah, going into a AJW book thinking it wouldn't rip open the soft, hidden parts of myself, that mistake is on me.

No, I've never been pregnant, but I did use to wish I was infertile, before I realized pregnancy wasn't mandatory. I didn't realize I was allowed to be trans, before I was told I could. I've desperately wanted someone to tell me what to do, how to be "right," because lord knows doing it myself hasn't worked out great at times. I've felt so utterly wrong, not understanding how things so normal to what seems like everyone else are so incredibly hard for me. So yes, this book wrecked me because the destruction Crane is subjected to is so visceral, and god did I get it. Because yeah, sometimes you're autistic and trans and you think you don't belong anywhere else but amongst the pain of horror.

It's obvious that this book is brilliant. Obviously it is written in a way that took my breath away and had me slightly nauseous the entire time because it was simply instance after instance of the most disturbing things imaginable. Yet, and I am going to be called insane for ever describing this book this way, I loved the gentleness that is behind it all. There is such a deep CARE behind all the horror. Every aspect of Crane is built with both respect and understanding, no matter how disturbed. Nothing about him is villainized, but rather offered space to morph and grow, no matter how painful the process is.

I sobbed through this book. My love is a bit beyond words, but wow, I did love it so much.

4.5 stars for me.

I've read all of AJW's books, and was so excited to dive into this ARC, as I have admired his work for a while. His YA books are raw, often uncomfortable, but page turners with protagonists that stick with you.

You Weren't Meant to Be Human is visceral, shocking, and often deeply disturbing. But it really is important, era-defining work. I thought the body horror elements were executed well (beware the content warnings, they're intense!) It's the kind of read you can't look away from, that worms its way into your head--upsetting but deeply human.

Compared to his YA work, AJW's themes are less on-the-nose here, which I appreciated, though I wish there was a bit more nuance in character dynamics. What experiences made Levi this way? Tammy? I also wanted more of Stagger. If you're familiar with AJW's work, the relationships will feel a tad predictable, but I especially liked the portrayal of family in this one.

Powerful stuff. I'd recommend it to anyone who can stomach it.

4.5⭐️
Thank you to the publisher for the E-Arc!

I don't know what to do with myself right now. I'm going to start out with the negatives so that we can quickly get to how insanely good this book was!

Negatives:
Honestly, this could've just been about a human cult instead of bugs. The bugs didn't really add anything to it. I expected them to be a lot more central to the plot, but they were barely there, and they weren't fleshed out at all. Maybe that was on purpose, and maybe that was a statement that went over my head, but I just wished they'd either been expanded on more or replaced all together.

Also, because I went in thinking this was going to be more bug-centered, I found myself a little underwhelmed (as underwhelmed as you can be while being absolutely traumatized) for a good chunk of the book, as it was a very stagnant and slow paced story compared to what I had expected.


Positives:
Hey, wtf???
What did I just read??
I love AJW. I actually think he is incapable of writing a bad book.

I didn't expect to sob my heart out while reading a book about bugs, but here we are!

The amount of stress that I felt during this read will be sending me to an early grave.

Once again, AJW kills it with his main character. Crane was such an interesting and unsettling character. I've never seen someone represent intrusive thoughts in such a realistic sense. I did have a hard time with him for most of the book because it was so difficult to live in his mind, but that's why I think he is such an amazing character. He is so human, he is so real and he is so haunted.

The foreshadowing and subtle weaving of every detail in this plot was amazing. I'm still mad at myself for missing things that I could have pieced together sooner but also loved when I was able to connect the dots fast enough. It was a really great balance of dropping hints to flipping your world on its axis. Oh! and being able to look back and pinpoint all of the foreshadowing after the fact was top tier!

Also, that ending. Insane. That's the stuff I want from this author. That's THE ending that I've been waiting for!!

I really can't put into words everything I'm feeling about this book right now. I think if you can handle the themes, then you should give the book a shot.

(There are trigger warnings on his website, and I really recommend looking at them. They do contain spoilers, but there are things I wish I'd know to expect before picking this up.)

Dear gods.
This book is everything I imagined it would be. By that I mean that I was absolutely repulsed for most of it, cried in several scenes, and felt uncomfortably similar to the main character. It was everything his previous books are, dialed up to a thousand.
I want to thank Andrew Joseph White and Saga Press for the great honor of reading this ARC. I’m sorry I don’t have the self control to wait to post this.
This is a book that you must check the content warnings for. If you have any triggers around babies and pregnancy, especially, be very careful.
This is a book that deserves to be experienced as unspoiled as possible, but there’s still a few things I want to talk about.
I love Crane. He isn’t a pretty little autistic angel, written to make neurotypical people feel inspired. He is everything that is socially unacceptable, and that’s why I love him. He is nonverbal, and he struggles with hygiene, and he perpetually wants to self harm, and he is kinky in an unhealthy way that has been distorted by his abusive lover and his dysphoria. But he is real. I always say that AJW writes the best autistic characters, and it continues here. As a trans autistic reader, Crane was painfully, beautifully like me. He is a trans, autistic character written for us.
Now Levi—- I want to tear Levi into pieces with my own hands for what he did to Crane. I have rarely loved to hate someone so much as I hate Levi.
Lastly, I want to mention the raw beauty of the West Virginia setting. It’s the little things- the house with a freezer on the front porch, the actual towns being name dropped, the people wearing camo everywhere. I loved Tammy, because she reminded me so much of my family- not my mom’s side, still rural south but more proper, but my dad’s side, where everyone chews tobacco when they’re not smoking, and eats livermush and baloney sandwiches and sees life with a rough realism and gritty practicality. She’s an Appalachian granny, in all her glory.
In short, this book is everything I expect from Andrew Joseph White- gore, broken people, raw emotion, unexpected love, and honesty.

In the most affectionate way possible, reading this book was a lot like watching a car crash: I couldn’t put it down, even though I was practically reading through my fingers for the majority of it. I mean this as high praise. YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN is visceral, disturbing, gut-wrenching and skin-crawling. I’m surprised that I liked it so much.
It’s disgusting, but somehow written in a way that is not gratuitously so. AJW is very transparent about how this book was written in response to the overturning of Roe v. Wade, and it’s evident without being explicit. The book makes an undeniable statement: things that are happening in our world are disgusting. Abuse is disgusting. Rape is disgusting. Being forced to carry a baby in a body that doesn’t feel like your own is disgusting. The laws that make this a reality for some individuals are disgusting. It doesn’t take an apocalypse of mutant alien invertebrates to see this.
The writing on self-harm and intrusive thoughts is among the most honest and raw that I’ve ever seen in fiction or nonfiction. It is all so deeply, deeply personal. AJW’s use of limited perspective is insightful in how Crane sees himself, as even though it’s written in the third-person, we only ever know Crane’s point of view and his thoughts. It’s as if this entire book was written by Crane as he watches himself from someone else’s viewpoint, which is exactly how dysphoria/dysmorphia/dissociation can feel. It’s such a subtle but effective way to write a character trait, and AJW is a master of show-don’t-tell through his narration alone. I’ve read one of AJW’s other books in the past and I’m still blown away that this is his adult debut.
He does an excellent job of writing human characters, too. Despite having more flaws than not, many of the characters are likable because they are realistic. They make mistakes, lash out, and hurt the people they care about, but it’s made all the better because it shows that they have people that they care about in the first place. It’s deeply touching, and I like how nearly every character either fulfills their arc or gets what they deserve, ha.
Not to spoil too much, but my favorite character is (view spoiler)
The writing is what really makes this book for me. I personally don’t think anyone else but AJW could’ve written it and made it readable, let alone enjoyable. This is a book about agency and the effects of it being stripped away. Many scenes were nauseating to me (particularly those of sexual violence), but again, none of them felt gratuitous or fetishistic. Hard to stomach, sure, but in the same manner that real-life abuse and the trauma surrounding it is. I don’t believe that a book about abortion — or, rather, the lack thereof — could convey the very real trauma surrounding abortions without divulging the ugliness of it all, and I think AJW did so without being disrespectful or insensitive to victims. I did find myself skimming over a few detailed scenes, and recognizing that I had the ability to do that, when there are millions upon millions of cases of people not being able to do so, will sit with me for a very long time. Whenever I was uncomfortable, I could just skip that part. Crane and anyone who saw their experiences reflected in Crane could not. To me, that’s the most important takeaway from a book brimming with so many important things to say.
I don’t know if I’d personally recommend this book to anyone I know, but I feel like this is a book that NEEDS to be read, if that makes any sense at all, hahah. I absolutely can’t stop thinking about it. There are still so many symbols I want to touch upon and how I understood them — like Crane’s mutism, Jess’s role, what the hive even is — but it’s something you need to experience by reading.
This book will inhabit one of two possible worlds in the future: it will either be a cautionary tale or only become more topical. Either way, YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE HUMAN is vital.

NUMBER ONE: read the TWs!!!
You Weren't Meant to Be Human rocked me to my core. What a horrifying, beautiful, amazing book. AJ White is a master at developing emotionality in what is otherwise an incredibly bleak and terrifying narrative, and he's done it again in his adult debut. This story blew my brain wide open (positive) and changed me. In a world where trans communities are under attack for simply living, this displays a near-reality (and in some cases, the *actual* reality) and lived experiences of folks persecuted by those in power. The things we're willing to do in the service of safety, of stopping to feel the constant incursion of hateful speech and actions, of ableism and transphobia. YWMTBH speaks directly to power and challenges readers to understand the desperation of trans folks--and the depravity of power pushing back against their humanity. I'm going to be thinking about this read for a long, long time. Five stars, but wish I could give it 100.

4 stars!

I can't believe I read the content warnings and still found myself clutching my pearls in shock the whole book, but that's just horror done well for you.

Since he swore loyalty to the hive, Crane's life has not been good but it has been better, freeing him to live as a man and hurt himself as much as he wants. The hive turns on him, however, requiring that Crane carry a child in their service despite his rapidly deteriorating sanity. I mean, Andrew Joseph White never fails to provide a great book that also satisfies the little thing inside of me that hungers for suffering. Having said that, I definitely liked this but I feel a little more mixed than I was expecting.

First, all of the good stuff, and there's quite a bit. The process of pregnancy, particularly forced pregnancy, is given all of the horror it deserves. Pregnancy is fucking terrifying on its own, and as a trans guy myself who would have had a hysterectomy by now if doctors didn't insist on anyone under 30 being too young for it, I felt it completely. I also think this is one of the best depictions of intrusive thoughts that I've read. Too often it feels like "edgy guy thinks about fucked up shit because he's edgy" when it's really a kind of mental tic that can truly interfere with a person's functioning. Also, I just enjoyed the reading experience. It always feels weird to say with horror, but it's a really captivating book and I didn't want to put it down.

All that said, I think the endings just left me a little unsure about what conclusions I'm supposed to come to. I don't think a book needs a single central thesis, but I'm having trouble nailing down how I'm supposed to feel, particularly in regards to the messaging on trusting people to help you. It seems to go both ways, or at least leave that a bit ambiguous. It's not a huge problem with the book, but when compared to AJW's last two works (The Spirit Bares Its Teeth and Compound Fracture my beloveds) I'm not sure this one quite gets there for me.

I still think it's brilliant and showcases some very real issues regarding bodily autonomy and trans rights, especially if politics keep moving the way they have been. AJW is still an auto-read author for me, and I can't wait to see what he puts out next!

Thank you to Andrew Joseph White and Saga Press for this ARC in exchange for my full, honest review!

Happy reading!

“You Weren't Meant to Be Human” is Andrew Joseph White's latest novel. Like his previous work, “Hell Followed Us,” White continues to craft visceral, uncomfortable, and emotionally charged queer horror.

This novel explores themes of bodily autonomy, resilience, and trauma. The main protagonist, Crane, is a nonverbal/mute trans man with autism. He finds himself in a sadomasochistic relationship that borders on abuse. In this world, he and his partner are compelled to obey and feed a hive when they discover that Crane is pregnant. Now forced to carry the pregnancy to term, Crane grapples with overwhelming dysphoria and intrusive thoughts.

This book is intriguing and will leave readers with more questions than answers. It's important for readers to review the content warnings before diving in. This thought-provoking read is suspenseful and compelling, taking readers on a reflective journey through some deeply emotional topics. Fans of White will surely appreciate this brutal and psychologically horrific new offering. Thank you to NetGalley and Saga for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

review posted on Goodreads as well

Andrew Joseph White is one author that I trust to write an amazing book, even if it’s amazing in the most disturbing way possible. You Weren’t Meant To Be Human does not hold back. Crane is, as my friend describes him, so crunchy. He is an absolute mess (/compliment). My experience with transness is vastly different from Crane’s but I full understood where he was coming from, thanks to AJW’s incredible writing.
(Side note: Andrew, u good?!?!)
This book is full of graphic descriptions of body horror in terms of pregnancy, and truly encompasses the emotional horror of being pregnant when you 100% do not want to be.
AND THAT ENDING?!?!?! (No spoilers but WTF)

This is a book that I will have to take care in recommending, because I know some people will not be able to read some of the topics covered in this book, but for those that are okay with the listed content warnings: 10/10 recommend.

This is the type of book that will have conservatives clutching their pearls. I am surprised that this book isn’t already banned because WHEW this was dark, graphic, and disturbing. If you hate worms or body horror, stay clear of this book. If you’re like me and you want a book to be as disturbing as possible, put this one on your TBR list. What a great adult horror debut.

There are a LOT of trigger warnings here. There is NO animal abuse, but just about everything else that you can think of is there. Check the author’s review or page to see them. There are some spoilers in the list, with one very large spoiler, but take care of yourself because this book will not be for everyone.

Andrew Joseph White pushed the boundaries of what is acceptable to write. This is the type of horror I want to see more of. I want more horror written by fresh voices, featuring marginalized characters. Writing from Crane’s perspective brought a fresh take on what a real and traumatic horror pregnancy can be for a trans man, let alone a trans and autistic man. The characters felt real and multi-dimensional.

There were a few too many loose ends here for my personal taste and some bits that I wish were a bit more fleshed out. However that was the drawback of writing from Crane’s perspective, and I would not have wanted this book to have multiple POVs.

I would recommend for anyone who wants to be nauseous while reading a book, loves to be shocked and horrified, enjoys reading about cults, never wants to be pregnant, and does not have children.

A compelling case of cult horror wherein said cult takes a narrative backseat to the true horror of being betrayed by your own body.

Holy shit. I don't know if I can say shit here but I just read the last chapters and so I think I reserve the right to say shit here. Andrew Joseph White continues to amaze me. I've been needing something to fill the hole that Yellowjackets left in me and this more than filled it. Love this book in all of its horrifyingly beautiful expression of queerness and love. And also the trans feeling of horror when your body betrays you but it's not really your body's fault. Once again, thank you Andrew Joseph White, for putting my feelings into a book and filling it with gruesome life.

I devoured this book it was excellent, it was disturbing and horrific.
Crane, an autistic mute trans man, fled his home to join the Hive and was desperate to help it. He is also in a relationship with Levi who might be abusive but the lines are blurry also working for the Hive.
When Crane discovers he is pregnant, his world falls apart and quickly find out the Hive doesn't want him to get rid of it.
It's a journey of him facing his trans identity, his trauma and mental illness when nobody can help him forced to have an unwanted pregnancy.
It is horrifying and uncomfortable as any good horror book, it was heavy as it didn't shy from gore and blood nor his urges of self destruction.
It hit me hard as a trans man myself and could not imagine how to handle it myself without also falling in despair and I admire the representation it gives and I will always sincerely thank AJW to bring this kind of story to life that is necessary in my opinion, especially in this political climate.
So, I adored this book and i will absolutely wait for his next book as always