EXCERPT: There we were, a glittering gaggle of peewee entertainers, standing shoulder to shoulder, swaying to the music with both hands pressed against our hearts, singing, "I don't need a shove, 'cause I just fell in love with your pretty baby face."
We belted out the last note, and the dance studio owner and choreographer, Miss Pike, motioned to us from offstage in the wings to take a bow.
The applause hit me like a thunderclap. I thought the clapping was just for me - like the audience had recognized my exceptional aptitude for standing on my toes or waving. But I'm sure everyone thought the applause was just for them. The notion that I could command the attention of strangers by doing something that was fun and came naturally to me was powerful and intoxicating.
Nothing was ever the same after that.

ABOUT 'HELLO? WHO IS THIS? MARGARET?': A comedic look at blind ambition, stubborn optimism, and perseverance

Dani Alpert is an expert on the fortitude and delusion required to pursue childhood dreams that just won’t drop dead. Her stories are a case study in the human spirit’s tenacity and its unwavering ability to keep going in the face of crushing rejection. For many years, she toiled in the entertainment business, where the only responses she received were “Almost,” “So close,” or “Not quite.” Humor was the life vest that kept her afloat.

Some of Dani’s stories dive into the bowels of childhood, the creative psyche, and the birth of an aspiring Broadway baby. Other tales explore crippling adult fears and self-doubt and what happens when the ingénue becomes a member of AARP. Whether she’s describing her bumpy road trying to get a foothold in Hollywood, her retail adventures shopping for gas masks during COVID, or her idiotic decision to vacation at a romantic couple’s resort after a heart-wrenching breakup, Dani provides gentle shoves—pep talks wrapped in cautionary tales—for anyone still chasing their dreams but feeling stuck.

MY THOUGHTS: Dani Alpert is one tenacious woman!

Her stories take us from her childhood when she is struck with the longing to be a star, through college and her decision not to major in theatre, from the East Coast of the USA to the West Coast and, eventually to Prague. I was enchanted and entertained, first by the author's note which comes at the beginning of the book, and then by the opening paragraphs on onward.

Her life wasn't easy, but it was interesting. She sure didn't wind up where she thought she was going to, but then few of us do.

I was amused by her obsession with Cher and perturbed by her belief that Christopher Meloni was sending her messages about what decisions she should make. THAT was weird!

Now I have to admit that I had no idea who Dani Alpert was prior to reading Hello? Who is This? Margaret? I also have to admit that I am not a lot wiser after reading it. But then she never did come to New Zealand, or not that she has written about here.

Despite not knowing who she was (I have done my research since) I enjoyed this collection of essays. Dani's writing is amusing and honest. I liked that she doesn't sugar-coat her many failures and I admire her tenacity.

A quick, easy and amusing read.

⭐⭐⭐⭐.1

#HelloWhoisThisMargaret #NetGalley

MEET THE AUTHOR - DANI ALPERT: Dani spent decades working in theater, television, and film, performing, writing, and directing. She’s a Pilates instructress and an advocate for the Down syndrome community. Dani’s first headshot was her mugshot taken after being arrested for tagging when she was a juvenile. She’s been trying to reclaim those glory days ever since.

DISCLOSURE: Thank you to River Grove Books via NetGalley for providing an e-ARC of Hello? Who is This? Margaret?: Essays by Dani Alpert for review. All opinions expressed in this review are entirely my own personal opinions.

Hello? Who is this Margaret? was described delightfully, prompting me to give this collection of essays a try. I thank NetGalley for letting me take a sneak peek via an ARC. Dani Alpert's book is a lot like the script of a stand-up comedy—except that it is in prose. Her scene descriptions are vivid and large-scale, and many situations she describes in the book are uproariously funny.

Despite all the spoof and comedy in her life, Dani did have the grit and determination to follow her childhood dreams. Even though her 25+ years in Hollywood were not exactly how she would've pictured it, I think she's done quite well for herself with the powerhouse of a talent that she is.

A good comedian has no qualms in making fun of themself, and Dani mixes it up so well, the reader is in splits and guffaws almost all the time. Her honesty is also something that shines through in the book, and she leaves no stone unturned in baring it all for all the recklessness and impulsive decisions she made throughout her life.

While each of us experiences very similar ups and downs in life, only Dani Alpert can look back and write such wonderfully funny lines to describe hers. The only disappointment I had with this book was that the promos did not have Carl, the Ken doll, promoting it, haha! If you didn't get the joke, well, Carl was featured in Dani's memoir, The Girlfriend Mom's promotion. Now you know!

A bold and funny memoir that celebrates resilience. If you enjoy dark humor mixed with honest reflection and the quirky chaos of life, you’ll find this engaging

For me, this book fell short of its potential. This book was described as “ In the vein of Jenny Lawson and Laurie Notaro” so I was expecting some humor and even a few laugh out loud moments. Rather what I read was largely a tale of failure and bad decisions. I found it more sad than funny. I hope for the author’s sake that this book finds an audience.
I kept reading until the end hoping for at least a bit of a happy ending that I didn’t get.