when the l word first came out, i was a deeply closeted person. i had a bad dad that often expressed affection financially so whenever he was doing one of his apology tours i would request a box set of the newest season of the l word on dvd. i prayed and prayed that he wouldn't read the back of the box to figure out i was watching a show about lesbians. he never did, but that's not the point.

the l word was pretty instrumental back then. lesbian representation was pretty rare and the most it felt like we had was ellen, who was mostly a punchline, or rosie, who people loved to make fun of despite her absolutely inherent joy and sense of humor. the l word was the first visual representation that i had of lesbians that i wanted to become - hot, fun, happy with a bunch of friends, participating in sex that was steamy not just 35 minutes of longingly looking another girl in the eyes.

also, i can't really tell you that kate moennig or leisha hailey were MY queer awakening - i was already awakened but i paid a LOT of attention to them both.

this memoir goes through leisha and kate's upbringing, to when they first realized their queerness, through getting cast on the show, originally called earthlings. (didn't know this, now love that they were constantly having lunch at a restaurant/bar called the planet.)

i remember really prevalent rumors about personality clashes between the cast that led to a significant character exit at the end of season one. for the record, we don't hear much about that story. but we do, for the first time, get to hear what they Really thought about the ending to the original show that traumatized us all. we get to hear about all the ways the original series aged badly. we get to hear the story of what happened with that alice-in-jail spin-off, a show that never made it to air followed by the extreme popularity of orange is the new black later. we get to hear what they thought about generation q, the mistakes in its creation that took it from a beautiful homage to the original series to something that lacked a beating heart.

this book let's you grow with leisha and kate, tells you about their loves, both the ones that they lost and the ones that they gained. their heartbreaks, their losses. it really paints a beautiful story of a relationship between two soulmated friends that will make you long for it for yourself.

this was an excellent nostalgic read for me. 5 stars.

5 stars

This is exactly the book that we have ALL been waiting for.

Most fans likely know the co-authors from their featured roles on _The L Word_ and later _Generation Q_, and then their cohosting of the excellent podcast, _Pants_. What listeners of the latter know - and viewers of the former will have guessed at - is that these two are so much more than coworkers, and this book really highlights their deeper connections.

I can't recommend the audiobook enough (when and where accessible) since it is narrated by the co-authors, both of whom have very distinctive voices (literally and figuratively).

Regardless of modality, listeners will get so much out of this: insight into both women's personal lives and careers, details about the making of the shows and memories from those experiences, and info about who and where they are now. Most of all, the audience gets insight into their relationship, and this is a real win.

I absolutely loved this book. I had high hopes, and they were exceeded. I speak from the perspective of an incoming fan of both of their work, but I suspect I'd have felt this way even with no background on them at all. This is just a tightly constructed and highly enjoyable narrative and exploration.

RECOMMENDED!