This book was really interesting and I appreciate the fresh perspective on substance use and recovery. We don’t get a lot of memoirs out of the traditional AA and NA frameworks. This was an excellent read.

“Will you be able to move on from your addiction, or will your entire existence as a human being be dedicated to a series of bad decisions you made years ago?”

May Tal really doesn’t like AA or NA. She makes lots of good points, although she’s pretty bitchy toward people who do seek help in that way (many nonaddicts believe rehab and AA actually will cure their addicted loved one, even though only 5 to 10 percent will actually stay sober through a program that takes up a lot of time). She rightly points out that when you go to meetings, it’s a bunch of people rehashing or bitching about their past. Having to do the twelve steps over and over means constantly dealing with things you did wrong. I do think it’s helpful to acknowledge if you’ve wronged someone and make amends if possible instead of merely saying sorry (which is also good). I did like that about the show My Name is Earl.

There’s a saying in AA, “Let go and let God,” meaning don’t worry about things, God will take care of everything. Tal’s point is, “No. If you want to get through this, you’re going to have to face your own inner demons before you can become the person you truly want to be.”

She wants addicts to focus on what they actually want in life and what beliefs they have about themselves that are stopping them (self-loathing is a biggy.) By focusing on what you want and taking steps to get there, it’s pretty clear that a bottle of vodka or a hit of meth are not going to help you achieve anything and is just more wasted time in your life.

She has some good points, and while I don’t agree with everything she says, it’s still an interesting look at the subject of substance abuse recovery.

Challenging traditional addiction recovery models represents bold thinking in a field often resistant to innovation.

As I write this, I have someone in recovery, and I figured this book would give me a new perspective on traditional resources provided to addicts. I'm honestly not sure I agree with Tal, but I appreciate the insight and bravery that comes with sharing a personal story—especially one that hasn't been written about much. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.

“This book is about looking you dead in the eye and calling you out on your shit. Because once you’ve accepted the reality that your choices alone have led you here, that’s when you can actually start to change.”

“Don’t Call Me Sober, Call Me May” is fierce, brutally honest, and completely unapologetic in its message. May Tal doesn’t coddle in the least. Instead, she challenges you, holds up the mirror, and demands accountability. I loved how she ripped apart the traditional narratives we’ve been force-fed for years, especially the flawed foundations of AA and NA. She questions everything we’ve been told about addiction, powerlessness, and identity—and she does it with clarity, conviction, and lived experience.

This book is not just about sobriety. It’s about reclaiming your life on your own terms. It’s about stepping outside the limiting language of “forever broken” and choosing to heal in a way that actually makes sense. May’s perspective is refreshing, radical, and deeply human.

While I don’t personally struggle with sobriety, I have plenty of addicts in my life. May’s insights into accountability, healing, and the flawed narratives surrounding addiction gave me a powerful new perspective on what recovery can (and perhaps should) look like. This book is a feisty, no-sugarcoating eye-opener for anyone ready to rethink the way we talk about addiction. Huge thanks to May Tal, Scribe Media, and Houndstooth Press for the advance copy of this bold, wonderful read. Publishes June 24 2025.