KC and Yardley have been dating 3 years, living together for the last one. Each lady, unbeknownst to her recently ex-partner, feels stuck; a victim of her own decisions who just wants to stop hiding her life from the woman she wants for a wife. Because what neither knows is that they are hiding the same secret: "I work for the CIA." That secret—and the lies they've told to keep it—is about to come out as an old friend of KC's tests a superweapon that could destroy economies and the CIA is left with no choice but to send Techie KC into the field instead of SuperSpy Yardley.


I am primarily a Romance reader so I expected to mostly focus on that when I received this ARC but this book is truly a great spy drama. It largely avoids common hackers-can-do-anything-from-anywhere tropes without commenting on it like most media would. Travel and downtime are acknowledged, covers can be blown, and programs are being run off physical drives with concern for storage size (because not everything fits on a standard 2GB thumb drive). That attention to realism carries through most of the spy content. There is some fantastical content (KC can drive anything apparently...) and I despise the double Doesn't Like Guns trope (I'd rather see at least one of the women hypercompetent with a firearm), but overall it feels mostly grounded. And as somebody who lives in the DC Metro Area (and watches too many crime dramas), it's nice to see Reston and Leesburg and Herndon mentioned instead of everyone for some reasom living in DC. Though I do wish somebody might have namedropped McLean at some point so I might see if the audiobook narrator would pronounce that one right.

On the Romance, it's decent. You could call it second-chance because they have technically broken up but I'd more classify this book as a relationship-in-crisis Romance. These two need each other like they need their next breath and the book is largely them coming to terms with how their jobs shaped them and affected their relationship, then how the Big Reveal changes what their future can look like. KC is a sheltered child genius, Yardley is a pageant queen. Unfortunately, we don't get too much beyond that characterization.

Still, I'm giving this book 5 stars in spite of the relatively flat and predictable characters. The spy plot is just that good.


The narrator does well at creating distinct voices for the two female leads. There are times I wish the enunciation were a tad better when speaking as Yardley but as somebody with a slight Southern twang, I understand how mushy words can get at times.

I received this audiobook through NetGalley as an ARC/ALC. Opinions are my own, but many thanks to Macmillan Audio for the opportunity.

This is a well-written, well-narrated, intensely emotional audiobook. Both the romance plots and the suspense plots are strong. I was hoping, based on the cover and the title, that the book would have some humor in it, but it doesn’t. Both the main characters are very negative about the chances of their relationship working out, which made the mood fairly dark and heavy.

Thanks, NetGalley, for the ARC I received. This is my honest and voluntary review.

The Spy meets Casey Mcquinston in this absurd sapphic romance about a couple who unwittingly both work for the CIA. Yardley and KC were a perfect couple once upon a time, but after a relationship plagued by secrets and distance, they've decided to call it quits. Both dive into their jobs as agents of the CIA to cope with their heartbreak- until one mission makes them realize they have been working together this whole time. Yardley as a renowned spy known as The Unicorn and KC is the tech-savvy voice in Yardley's ear, better known as Tabasco. Laugh-out-loud funny, sexy, and entertaining If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You belongs on everyone's must-read rom-com list.

If I Told You, I’d Have to Kiss You is a sapphic, second-chance romance packed with action, heart, and just the right amount of spice. Think Mr. and Mrs. Smith meets True Lies, with two exes—both secretly CIA agents—thrown together on a mission that forces them to confront their unresolved feelings.

The pining is top-tier, the emotional depth is real, and the spy plot is genuinely fun and believable. The romance and action blend seamlessly, and the supporting cast (including spy-savvy grandparents!) adds extra charm.

The audiobook, narrated by Mia Hutchison-Shaw, is phenomenal—perfectly capturing both the tension and tenderness.

A must-read for fans of queer romance, spy thrillers, and second chances. ★★★★★

This was a fun but very cheesy read, even by romcom standards. The spy angle felt forced and wasn’t executed very well—it just didn’t click, even for someone who doesn’t mind suspending disbelief. That said, the narration was excellent and definitely made the experience more enjoyable than it might have been otherwise. A decent pick if you’re looking for something light and don’t mind a heavy dose of cliché.

Billed as a Sapphic Mr & Mrs Smith, If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You is a novel about two female spies for the CIA. Yardley Whitmer, “The Unicorn”, and her ex-girlfriend, KC “Tabasco” Nolan find out they are both spies for the same side…only after their breakup. While the plot originally sucked me in, I found the middle of the novel to be extremely repetitive and boring. I did like the representation of women, especially queer women, in the CIA but KC’s character was a bit insufferable to me. 2.5 stars rounded to 3

Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to listen to the audiobook If I Told You, I'd Have to Kiss You.

Thank you NetGalley and Macmillan Audio for this ALC.

My ears were very neutral listening to Mia Hutchison-Shaw perform this book. There was no instant voice to ear love. Just friends.

This book! It might be touted as Mr. & Mrs. smith meets The Pairing (the book?). I heard more of queer ALIAS with mild Mission: Impossible influences.

I loved Yardley and KC. They were brilliant, badass, and steamy. Their field codenames were amusing. I enjoyed the action. The action and steam made up for any draggy parts.

A sapphic Mr and Mrs Smith during Pride month? Yes please!Was I a bit disappointed? Unfortunately, yes I was.

I think k it was the Smith reference as that’s not what it was except for spy’s that fight with each other. In this case They start off broken up and then keep breaking up with booking up in between. I just could not identify with the two MC’s let alone even like them. I didn’t want to provide spoilers so I’ll just say that there was a lot of things that were the exact opposite of Mr and Mrs Smith - things that make the story so engaging and entertaining. So it really missed the mark in using that as a marketing reference.

I consider the audiobook which probably make me like it better than I would have had I read the eARC as it made it a bit more understandable as the writing is a bit juvenile at times as well as scattered, convoluted and filled with cliches and bad jokes.
Also, there is a lot of toxicity coming from all angles. The relationship between each other as well as with the CIA is just problematic but. It addresses as such.

Lastly, the narration. It was performed by Mia Hutchison-Shaw and well, it wasn’t my favorite thing to listen to. While it helped in some circumstances to get through the prose, the vocals were hard to listen to. It was overly acted and incredible slow. This was a case where speeding it up to 2x was just so I could get through it as I wouldn’t have been able to listen had I not been able to alter it.

All that being said, it has a fun concept so some may absolutely get engaged. It comes out June 10th 2025


I am thankful to have gotten a complimentary audio ALC from Macmillan Audio through NetGalley to read which gave me the opportunity to voluntarily leave a review.

My rating system since GoodReads doesn’t have partial stars

⭐️ Hated it
⭐️⭐️ Had a lot of trouble, prose issues, really not my cup of tea (potentially DNF’d or thought about it)
⭐️⭐️⭐️ Meh, it was an ok read but nothing special
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Really enjoyed it! Would recommend to others
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Outstanding! Will circle back and read again

Look, I am a simple bisexual flower. I love sapphics and I love spy story. So I love this beautiful romance spy. I love the characters and the romance and the plot. The action scenes were so te se and well written, so the romance part.
I’m totally in love with this book, I’m speachless!

Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for the arc.

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the arc and alc.

Unfortunately this book was not for me. I don"t think it was a bad book at all. However i had a hard time connecting with the plot and the characters. This is one I may try again in the future to see if I like better, but it is a no for now.

Thank you Netgalley SMP and MacMillan audio for the free ALC and e-arc. My opinions are being left voluntarily. This is my first by this author and love that the most of the locations are very familiar to me. It's rare for books to be set in Toronto and throughout Canada. I felt the narration wad done well however I don't think the story was as clear as the author intended. This would likely be best adapted as it sounds like a great one to see this play out on screen.

3.5/5☆

I loved the concept of this book! A sapphic take on Mr and Mrs Smith / James bond but make it queer. I had high hopes going into it and felt pretty let down leaving it!

While i loved the aspect of them being undercover spies and the spy aspect, i feel like at times it felt like there was a clash of too much spy stuff and not enough emotions / chemistry between the characters and then other times it felt like all chemistry and no spy. I think i just wanted it to weave together a bit more seamlessly.

The middle of the book dragged quite a lot for me too and I found myself loosing interest in the book and characters as a whole because I was bored.

I did enjoy the audiobook, and I do think it helped the story overall. I think i probably would have DNFed in the middle if i was just reading the print.

I would still recommend it if you’re wanting a more action packed, fast paced sapphic romance but I do think i’ll probably forget this book in the long run. It was bad but wasn’t good for me either.