After reading Such A Good Family and now Who We Used To Be, I am convinced Caitlin Weaver knows how to write a good domestic drama. This is by no means a thriller, so don't expect a cheating husband or murdering wife or anything of that sort. There are no crazy twists - what's written in the synopsis is exactly what you get, just more chaotic.
In this book, we have two families, the Blairs and the Paulsens, and everyone's life is falling apart, except for Lars Paulsen's.
Dana Blair's business is failing and she's tight on money. Her daughter, Izzy, is in a coma the entire book. Her son, Ian, is struggling with his place in his family and feeling like he'll never be good enough, so he's turns to drugs and now he's addicted. Eric Blair is Dana's husband-turnt-hippie/health enthusiast and wants a divorce because Dana won't conform to his ways.
Padma is a doctor and Dana's best friend until Dana accuses her of negligence, blaming her for her daughter falling into a coma. Maeve is Padma's daughter, and she struggles with finding herself and getting out of her bestie's (Izzy) shadow. And then there's Lars, the calming voice of reason. He's the only one without any drama.
To be completely honest, at first I felt like this book was a huge pity party. Everyone seemed to be piggy-backing off of everyone else's problems. It really gave "woe is me" while trying to one-up each other with their issues ans trauma. But as I kept reading, I started to feel for the characters, especially Ian. He was going through a lot and most of it stemmed from him constantly being compared to his sister and ultimately feeling invisible and useless to his family. His story is the most touching.
As far as the pacing, I felt it was steadily-paced, however, I wasn't too fond of how some chapters retold the same events but from another character's POV. The story felt stagnant during those moments. The ending was just alright. It's the generic happy ending you'd hope for after reading a 400-page book and just wishing everyone would just get their life back on track. If you enjoy reading family dramas with lots of chaos and instability, this would definitely be the book for you.
Thank you NetGalley, Storm Publishing, and Caitlin Weaver for this ARC!

I gave 4 stars to Caitlin Weavers other book Such a Good Family. The premise of this book is very thought- provoking. Unfortunately something is missing. I think the pacing is off. I wound up scanning so much dialogue and recaps. It made me think of Best of Friends by Lucinda Berry but that book kept my attention much more. I did enjoy around part 73%. The ending was better than the first half. There was so many valuable points including trying to figure out the elusive work/life balance. The pitfalls of being a Type A perfectionist. Struggles of those with addiction issues. And most importantly the lesson that you can't change anyone but yourself. The writing was a bit basic and the ending was very predictable too. I give this book 3 stars.

This is a story of family drama; two neighbouring families who used to be very close, affected by a presumed misstep by a member of one of the families. And, there are dramas within each family.

Rereading my paragraph above, it might sound like it’s over the top. But, I have witnessed families in crisis….truth can be stranger than fiction. Once one crisis is progressing, others seem to show up. Trouble follows trouble. Clichés exist because they are usually true.

This book has a medical issue, drug use, marital problems, parenting issues, estrangement and a failing business. It's easy to see how all these issues can be interrelated. I can empathize with the members of each family.

The ending was satisfying, perhaps a bit too tidy. But, I’ve concluded that if there wasn't a tidy ending, a book could go on and on.

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the Advance Readers Copy.

4.5 stars!

These books have a knack for hitting you right in the feels, and I can honestly say I’ve never been disappointed.

Dana Blair struggles with control in her life as her marriage crumbles, her son faces a crisis, and her career falters. Her longtime friend, Padma Paulsen, is a dedicated ER doctor whose bond with Dana is tested when a tragedy occurs, leaving Dana’s daughter critically injured. As Dana seeks justice, grief transforms into blame, leading her to a pivotal decision that could either save her family or destroy her friendship with Padma.

With multiple perspectives from Dana, Padma, Ian, and Maeve, we embark on a journey that unfolds both before and after a pivotal incident. As we delve deeper into their lives, each character becomes fully realized, leaving us with a profound understanding of their struggles and triumphs. We all know that appearances can be deceiving; what’s happening behind closed doors often tells a different story. Each character is not only relatable but also likable, depending on where you find yourself in life or the challenges you’re currently facing. This is one of those books that lingers in your mind, prompting you to reflect on your own choices. Imagine walking in their shoes—what would you do? How far would you go to find happiness? One of the key messages here is the importance of speaking up, especially concerning Ian’s struggles.

The drama is heightened by vivid descriptions that make you feel as if you’re right there in the hospital room, witnessing the unfolding events firsthand. It was a page-turner that I found hard to put down, and I’m so grateful I stumbled upon it.

If you enjoy emotional and suspenseful relationship dramas that explore the pain of betrayal and the courage it takes to apologize and seek a second chance, then this is the perfect quick read for you. I found myself strategizing about the ending—what would be acceptable, and what was I secretly hoping for? I was pleasantly surprised, though a bit disappointed by the lack of support from Dana’s husband, Eric. But hey, sometimes characters should figure things out on their own.

I absolutely loved this read, and I hope you carve out some time to dive into it! Trust me, you won’t regret it!

Thank you, Storm Publishing, for the digital ARC copy. I am leaving this review voluntarily.

oh wow. to have a book like this that makes you feel like your emotions have had a full blown work out is sometimes a real gift. as weird as that sounds. because you know then just how good the book was. the emotions that Caitlin manages to get into her pages is just stunning. i cant imagine being so talented as to make readers feel what she does. her books leave you thinking you must stop but knowing you cant, knowing you wont.
i had to stop putting myself in the characters shoes to give myself a break, lol. dont try to ask yourself the difficult questions just be thankful you arent needing to answer them and that in her own way Caitlin does that for us here. and she does it with the touch that is both tender and charged in all the right places.
Dana and Padma are best friends. 'those' type of best friends. for life. we follow both their journeys at this particular point in life. Dana is overwhelmed. Padma is a steady doctor, until one decision leads to the crisis at hand. and this crisis involves Dana's most precious thing...her daughter.
we get to see beautifully woven themes throughout the story of our two. friendship,family,motherhood,loyalty,bravery,identity and forgiveness to name but a few. but done for each with just the right amount of tension but then kindness too. you are never pushed too far ut always pushed enough. you feel for both sides here. there is also so much more to what these woman are thinking and feeling and coping like to do with their own lives besides whats just happened. you can reflect on this story with much more grace which i appreciate Caitlins writing gave me. my initial judgements were made more thoughtful and actually kinder from reading through this book. a little lesson in stepping back.
i loved this book. i cannot say more than that or i will go on all day about it.
it would also make a great book club read or one you give to a avid friend reader so you can discuss it all day long!
Caitlin is proving to be one of my favorites and i dont say that ever when ive only read one of her other books, ha.

Thank you NetGalley and Storm Publishing for an early copy of Who We Used To Be. Caitlin Weaver has turned out to be a go to author immediately when I see a new book of hers come out and she NEVER DISAPPOINTS!! It started with a bang in the therapists office and the emotions each chapter after were all over the place. Hospital visits, depositions, the store, temptations with drinking, you name it, it was happening. I loved the characters, once again I felt like I was in the plot. Keep writing, you are AMAZING Caitlin. Thank you again.

This book was just okay. I found some of the characters unlikable and I also found the timeline completely unrealistic — which had me have trouble getting completely into it and relating

A story about friendship, marriage, heartbreak, and tragedy. I may have found one of my new favorite authors. Izzy, a seemingly healthy teen, ends up in the emergency room after her mother finds her unconscious. Did her best friend, a doctor, miss something when she saw her complaining of leg pain? The family experiences tragedy with their son also. Such a good story. Thanks NetGalley for an arc.

This book was just okay. I found some of the characters unlikable and I also found the timeline completely unrealistic — which had me have trouble getting completely into it and relating

My thanks to Storm Publishing and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read ‘Who We Used To Be’ written by Caitlin Weaver in exchange for my honest and unbiased review.

Dr Padma Paulsen and Dana Blair are next door neighbours and share a friendship that’s closer than sisters. Dana’s daughter Izzy collapses while training and is taken to Padma’s hospital with severe pain in her leg that Padma diagnoses as over-training but when Izzy falls unconscious later that evening she’s taken back to hospital in a coma. There’s soon going to be more at risk than just Padma and Dana’s friendship.

‘Who We Used To Be’ is a thought-provoking novel of two families whose lives are disintegrating when a mother decides to punish her best friend, the person she holds responsible for her daughter’s coma, that affects the members of both families. From page one I’ve been totally involved with the characters, putting myself in their shoes and wondering what I’d do in a similar situation. Caitlin Weaver’s amazing ability to bring her characters to life has had me feeling dislike for Dana before realising that when her world is falling to pieces she needs someone to blame. This is an emotional novel that’s tugged at the heartstrings and kept me reading while turning the pages faster and faster, and has an ending that’s brought a smile to my face and thankful that things can turn out for the best.

Already emotionally and financially drained, Dana experienced the unthinkable with her daughter Izzy. No parent wants to see their child suffer and helpless as to what they can do to rectify the situation. Dana in anger lashed out at her best friend and confidant, Padma who is an esteemed and respected ER doctor, as the cause of Izzy's condition. She herself didn't know the medication that caused this situation; however, she believed that in running the correct tests, Padma should have correctly identified why Izzy should not have been released back to her home. It became all about and only about Izzy at the detriment of her family. Already withdrawn, I felt terrible for Ian who always felt second best and in the shadow of his "perfect" twin. It touched my heart when he ate alone in his English classroom with his favorite sandwich of butter and pepperoni and cookies. Dana truly thought she was the victim and determined to bring her best friend down and ruin her credibility. She was ready to fight legally and even exposed the secret that had led Padma to leave medical school. It was often hard to identify who Dana had become. I was glad that she chose to be strong at the end as she realized how precious life is and it should not be marred by anger. Everyone deserves to be loved and heard. Both Izzy and Ian's happiness was equally important. I was also glad to see that Maeve was no longer content to live in Izzy's shadow. Out of tragedy, this book ended in hope for what came next.

Such a tragic, emotional family drama. Who is to blame? Which side would you be on? Is there a right or a wrong? Will the families survive? So many questions and so much to consider. A terrifying prospect.

This was just OK for me. It felt a little flat, like the story had no real highs or lows and just chugged along. I was interested in the story - the author successfully created tension and drama, and the two families involved were well-crafted and described. Unfortunately, not much really happened except a lot of unlikable (but real) characters whining and bemoaning their circumstances.

There will certainly be an audience for the book -- realistically it would make an enjoyable Lifetime miniseries -- I'd probably watch it ;)

Will I read more from the author? Maybe.

I received a complimentary copy of the book from the publisher and NetGalley, and my review is being left freely.

I had high hopes for this book but it just did not live up to them. I thought more was going to happen but it just seemed to focus on whinging characters who weren’t particularly likeable. I didn’t feel that I connected to any of the characters and found myself not really caring what the outcome was.

Who We Used to Be is a poignant, emotionally layered novel that explores the fragility of friendship, the complexity of personal identity, and the quiet devastation that can follow misplaced trust. Told through the lens of two neighboring families, Caitlin Weaver weaves a reflective and thought-provoking narrative centered on Dana and Padma—two longtime friends whose lives are suddenly fractured by tragedy.

Dana is a woman adrift, her marriage faltering and her sense of self buried beneath years of passivity. She’s someone who has let life happen to her rather than taking ownership of it. In contrast, Padma is fiercely driven, defined by her ambition and tightly tethered to her professional identity—often at the cost of neglecting the rest of who she is. The rupture between them comes when Dana’s daughter falls into a coma, and Dana—reeling with grief—casts blame on Padma. What follows is an unraveling of long-held assumptions, painful reckonings, and the redefinition of not just their friendship, but their entire selves.

The novel shines in its exploration of family dynamics. Dana’s son, in particular, provides a touching and unexpected emotional anchor. His struggles are portrayed with tenderness and nuance, and his voice adds a deeper emotional resonance to the story. While some characters—like Dana’s husband—may feel frustrating or extraneous, the emotional authenticity of the rest makes up for it.

This is a quietly heartbreaking novel that asks important questions about how much of ourselves we give away, whether to a friendship, a role, or an ideal. It’s a meditation on identity, regret, and the difficult, necessary process of reclaiming who we really are.

A moving, worthwhile read for those who appreciate introspective fiction with deeply human characters.

Caitlin Weaver has done it again! “Who we used to be” was a gripping emotional journey of a mother and family hit with a crisis that tears their whole world apart. We see a friendship devastated by this tragedy and cannot help but choose sides throughout.

All of Caitlin Weavers books surround a moral dilemma and you find yourself asking what would you do in this situation? I love these types of domestic thrillers because there is such substance without any cheap twists to keep the story going. I found myself angry at the characters and hoping for a positive outcome!

Very realistic portrayal into life and how it’s messy and throws things at us we don’t really know how to handle. Definitely a must read!!

An emotional family drama about love and loss, forgiveness and new beginnings. This book had me putting myself in both mfc shoes and questioning what choices I would make. Weaver tied it all up seamlessly and it ended beautifully

I really enjoyed this one. A story of two families who are very close knit but are divided when a tragedy strikes. It is easy to see both sides in this one.

I really enjoyed the book and absolutely loved the ending! So glad to receive an ARC copy! Felt so real and i felt like i could really connect to the characters. Job well done!

I loved this one so much. The detail that went into the characters was profound. The story line was brilliant. I could not put this one down. A rollercoaster of emotions. This one grabs you from page one and sucks you in with writing so well done you feel like these characters are your friends and family. I normally read mystery/suspense and this book was something I didn’t even know I needed in my life. An absolute must read