As a mother, I am keenly interested in ways to protect my precious young children from predators. I found this little book quite helpful; it describes how sexual predators think and act, and gives many ways to help children to be aware of danger. I appreciated the suggestions for how to talk to our children, to help them know how to respond if they are threatened. I found that very helpful. There is also a section for if a parent finds out something has already happened. I felt that section was too short to be helpful, but there were recommended resources to find help and healing.

I received a complimentary copy of this book from NetGalley, and these are my honest thoughts about it.

Whilst this isn't a subject any parent wants to think about it is an important read. It provides tips for parents and guardians to help protect their children and is a must read - very insightful.

This is such an important topic, but my words have no value here, I will let the author speak instead. “Survivors carry the pain for life. They experience shame, confusion, fear, self-blame, nightmares, panic attacks, and depression.” This book was written as “as effort to educate, equip, and help parents do everything they can to protect their children”.

I’m an educator and this book hit me HARD. “Every fourth girl. Every sixth boy. Some have already been abused. Others will be.” I will never look at my students the same ever again, and hope I am a safe space for them, always.

In using the tools from this guide, we are “making your child harder to groom, harder to silence, and harder to hurt.”

This was a dark, but necessary read, as an educator, as a woman, as a human being. Child abuse is a major topic that is, unfortunately, still taboo. This guide helps to break the cycle, break the silence, and to help parents to keep their kids safe. And if, god forbids, something terrible happens, this book can help with how to deal with this trauma.

This is well-written. It is a heartbreaking subject, because child abuse is horrible, but this has to be an important part of conversation. You're a parent? Read this. You're an older sibling? Read this. You're an educator? Read this. THIS IS CRUCIAL!

Powerful, straightforward and practical, this guide should be on every parent, teacher and therapist's shelf and checked often. Despite the fact that the majority of the population has the biophysiological ability to have a child with another person, there is no such innate skills to know how to raise them. Creating a safe and nurturing environment in which kids can thrive and grow up feeling sheltered, seen, cared for, and accepted, is no easy feat, and one of the most horrendous threats that could shatter a child's sense of safety is that of child sexual abuse. Though still a taboo topic in many households and spaces, children are being groomed and preyed upon, mainly (over 90% of the time, in fact) by people who are meant to love and protect them such as their family members, family friends, neighbours, teachers, coaches and other figures who spend time with them.

In "Not My Kid!", Sensiba provides a no-nonsense account of the dreadful stats regarding CSA, and goes on to provide insight into how predators groom children. For every step in the process, this book offers several strategies and activities with which we can provide children with tools to know when something is not okay, what the alarm signs are, and how to talk to trusted adults about it. Something I hugely agree with is the vital importance of teaching children that their body belongs to them solely, and that nobody is entitled to getting physical touch from them regardless of how seemingly innocent the gesture may be or how inoffensive the person might look. As a child who despised hugs who was constantly told to "stop acting out and let Grandma hug and kiss you", I can attest to the huge difference that this makes for kids; particularly considering how often the predator turns out to be an uncle or aunt, a step-parent or step-sibling, a cousin, or any other family member.

This guide is an absolute "must" for anyone who either has children, or works with them, since it provides deep insight into the ways in which CSA can be prevented or acted upon by tackling the different factors that keep children silent about the abuse and/or in the dark about the nature of what has happened to them. I am definitely going to be getting myself a copy, as a therapist, and I would strongly recommend that every single mental health professional read the book. Abused children become traumatised adults who might start seeing a therapist, or even just their GP, for symptoms such as heightened anxiety, unexplainable headaches, C-PTSD patterns or eating disorders that do not seem to have a "clear" origin unless one knows the signs of CSA and builds a safe environment for the person to open up about what happened to them. It is our deontological duty to our patients to be well-equipped to know how to spot the signs, how to handle things when they open up, and how to help them heal - as well as to spread awareness and provide families with the right tools and strategies to prevent CSA by giving the child the language and skills to recognise when something isn't right.

Books like this make a difference. Allow yourself the opportunity to read what Sensiba's got to say, because you never know when you might be able to protect a child from lifelong trauma thanks to the knowledge provided.

I dont think theres much feedback to give. This is incredible and everyone should read it. I will absolutely be telling everyone about this. I grew up with a hyper vigilant mom who was abused by a neighbor and as a child i thought she was overreacting. As a mom, i now see the statistics and she was right to be worried. Thank you for making this free to everyone because you’re right, predators stop at nothing and its our job to make our kids hard to manipulate.

An excellent primer on protecting children from predators. This is a pretty short book, takes maybe 30 minutes to read. It gives very direct information and examples of conversations to have with children to make them cognizant of possible dangers. I do wish there was more information, but it's very straightforward and a great starting point for a complex topic. The examples are very easy to follow and children will be able to understand warning signs and what to do if something happens to them.

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing this ARC. All thoughts are my own.

Very usufull for the protection of our children.
Very simple and to the point.
This was really good.

“I won’t gamble with my children’s safety for the sake of fitting in or sparing someone’s feelings.” 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 this is a very important book! every parent should read this!

This is a truly incredible and useful tool for anyone who wants to keep kids safe from sexual abuse or trauma. I’ve worked in victim advocacy professionally for adults, but as my nieces and nephews get older and I consider having children of my own, I was looking for tools that are specific to protecting children.

A quick and fairly easy read, this books lays out the tools in a concise and digestible manner. It starts off with statistics and data that are a wake up call to parents that all children can be at risk. There are conversations and ‘practice sessions’ for those who want to implement these steps with their children. There is concise language that does not delve into scholarly or psychological and is easy to grasp.


Finally, I’d like to emphasize my two favorite things about this book. The first is that the author does not profit from this and has multiple methods for getting it into the hands of those who need and want it, a selfless and powerful gift to parents, educators, and other adults out there who want to keep the children in their lives safe. Second, this book ends with repeated assurance that if your child does experience sexual assault, blame is never on the parent or the child. Blame ALWAYS lies with the abuser. Please - from a person who wished my parents read this when I was a child, read it.