A Holy Maiden’s Guide to Getting Kidnapped is exactly the kind of deliciously chaotic fantasy romp I didn’t know I needed. Katy Nyquist delivers a mix of magic, mayhem, and awkwardly hilarious situations that kept me grinning and gasping all at once.

Our heroine? A holy maiden who’s supposed to be all purity and grace… until she’s suddenly kidnapped and thrown into a world of scandals, secrets, and very questionable decisions. The cast is vibrant, the dialogue snappy, and the plot twists keep coming like a rollercoaster you never want to get off.

It’s got wit, heart, and just enough spice to keep things interesting without stealing the show from the laughs and intrigue. If you love fantasy with a side of sass and a heroine who stumbles through chaos with equal parts grace and “what the heck just happened,” this is your next read.

Highly recommend for fans of quirky, smart fantasy with a lot of heart—and kidnapping shenanigans. ✨📚🔥

Ysabel has been gifted with a healing ability that is also slowly killing her. She knows this and still decides to heal those around her. While her gift has granted her power within the city state that she lives it has also bound her to Cardinal Jaing. Jaing is a corrupt cardinal who know Ysabel's gift is killing her and wants to use what remains of it to gift himself with an extended life. Cut to Ysabel saving a poor beggar she accidently saves Dark Lord Kaine. Kaine is magically gifted and has slowly been reassembling the crumbling country of Cornollia. While Kaine is in his weakened state Ysabel can choose to turn him over to the cardinals that run her city or she can choose to save him.

I read this book as the audiobook. The narrator was great; she kept the story interesting, and she breathed life into each character. Each character while voiced by the same person was its own individual with its own voice. I flew through this book, almost the entirety in one sitting.

This was an enjoyable fantasy full of sass, spice, and chaotic charm! If you’re into that in a dark fantasy then this is the read for you.

3.5 stars ⭐️

- Audiobook experience : 3.25 ⭐

Audio editing is subpar (sounds of paper turning & chair, voice calibration).

The narration was very good when it was light, comedic, sexy and when there were political dealings or serious conversations with friends and allies, i.e. for the majority of the time. But the caricatural tone that was welcome in other parts was grating to me during the truly dramatic and tragic scenes. I'd have preferred that the natural tone present at multiple points in the tale was chosen for those high stakes moments.

- Story : 4.25⭐

Very entertaining ! I went in blind (I'm lucky not to have to check TW) and the twists surprised me in the first 50%. The second half was very predictable in every regard, but it was a good time nonetheless.

Overall, the elements of high fantasy intrigue greatly surpass in quantity the not-that-detailed erotica. I loved how respectfully many delicate subjects were discussed.
All the different kinds of power plays featured in the story were delightful to follow, that theme being the high point for me. For that, I'd grab another book by the same author.

Thank you to NetGalley for providing this Audio ARC in exchange for my honest review 🙂‍↕️

Holy Maiden Ysabel stands apart as a living goddess for her miraculous ability to heal with a single touch. But every life she saves steals a day from her dwindling existence, and she's forced to keep up the illusion of purity since he purity is said to give everlasting life. Cardinal Jiang exploits her gift, imprisons her within the city, and requires her to heal those he deems worthy. The ruling elite are ruthless, their wealth and power built on the suffering of the masses, and Ysabel refuses to drag anyone else into the storm. But everything changes when Dark Lord Kaine appears at her clinic's door, grievously wounded yet unwilling to let her heal him at the cost of her life.

Though their alliance begins as a tenuous truce, especially once Kaine threatens to lay siege to her city, it quickly transforms into a game of calculated moves. Ysabel, aided only by her fiercely loyal bodyguard Alzira, must navigate deadly political intrigue, protect the refugees crowding her gates, and outmaneuver the powerful men who will stop at nothing to maintain control.

This story is drenched in betrayal and ambition. Ysabel is a master strategist, constantly outsmarting those who underestimate her while exposing the level of corruption rotting her world from the inside out. It's also much spicier than the cover lets on, adding a delicious edge to the dangerous chemistry between Ysabel and Kaine. It was a thrilling, action-packed adventure with romance and brilliant outfoxing, where you never knew how it was going to play out.

The audiobook's narration is phenomenal. The voice acting brings Ysabel's wit, Kaine's charm, and the searing political tension to life fully, making the already high stakes feel even more visceral.

Thank you to NetGalley and Podium Publishing for the opportunity to review and provide my honest feedback.

A Holy Maiden’s Guide to Getting Kidnapped by Kate Nyquist completely stole my heart, just like Kaine tries to steal Ysabel. I adored this book.

Holy Maiden Ysabel is a strong, snarky, clever heroine with a divine healing gift that comes at a steep cost: every time she heals someone, she gives up a day of her own life. She has a good heart, which often lands her in situations she knows she shouldn’t get involved in, but she just can’t say no to saving someone.

She’s not a warrior charging into battle with a sword. She’s a vixen wielding her wit and divine influence like a blade, and I loved her for it.

The romance between Ysabel and Kaine is a slow burn and the development is chef’s kiss. Their banter had me smiling the whole time. And can we talk about the consent? Because it’s clear, enthusiastic, and sexy as hell. Also, shoutout to the rare and fabulous lady dom rep! It was such a refreshing shift in dynamic and so well written.

10/10 would get kidnapped again.

Tropes/Themes:
Comedy
Trans representation
Consent
Lady Dom

***Thank you to Katy Nyquist and Macmillan Audio for the ARC!***

This was one of those books where you are sad its over because you want to live with the characters forever. Secondary characters were given as much thought and consideration as the main characters. You fall in love with all of them and I just want more.

This was my first book where one of the main characters was trans and I was pleasantly surprised by the honesty and integrity with which the subject matter was handled. Having our glorious and majestic Ysabel react how most of us would and then treat everyone with kindness and give heartfelt apologies after was refreshing and a wonderful way to express the truth of human emotions and our ability to process over time.

Additionally, Ysabel's gift chipping away at her life a day at a time parallels so beautifully with the way most women feel in their day to day lives. We can so we should. We can work and take care of a home, so we should, regardless of what it cost us. We can do all of the grunt work at the office and receive none of the credit, so we should, regardless of what it cost us. Day by day pieces of us are chipped away until we are only what we can offer to someone else. Our value becomes what we can do for others, rather than to exist. It was beautiful and its a very important message.

This book was *very* politically themed— which was interesting and I can be into, but was not what I was expecting with this book. I think because of that, my enjoyment kind of dropped. I was looking forward to a lot of hilarity and silliness, and while there was some of that… it was mostly just political scheming and fairly serious topics.

If you’re in the mood for a dystopian-ish, magical world with *a lot* of problems and *a lot* of players… you’d probably enjoy this. Romance subplot was really fun and provided the silly (but with some serious undertones).

Hollie Jackson did a spectacular job with the narration. Her performance really held my attention— it totally added to the total enjoyment of the reading experience. Hollie’s ability to differentiate between characters during her performance was really impressive.

📖 Bookish Thoughts
This book was HILARIOUS. And the audiobook? This is narrated by the queen herself, Hollie Jackson. I will read anything she narrates. She never lets me down!

Just know going in, this is a slow paced epic fantasy. If you’re looking for a quick, breezy read, this isn’t it.

But honestly, I laughed the entire time I listened to this audiobook. Ysabel is the queen of scheming and survival, and I adored her. Her inner monologue was everything, and she’s genuinely good to her core. She’s also wildly self-sacrificing. People literally come to her for healing knowing it costs her a day (or more) of her own lifespan. And they just keep doing it. Her backstory was devastating and her dad is absolutely going on my fictional terrible fathers list.

Not all is bleak, though. Ysabel’s bodyguard Alzira is ride or die with big homicidal girls’ girl energy, and I loved her. Alzira is a girls’ girl through and through.
And of course, I was all in on the Dark Lord! Especially when we learn more about him towards the end!

Seriously, listen to the audiobook.

✨ What to Expect
• Snarky holy maiden
• Healing magic
• Slow burn epic fantasy
• Forced proximity
• Morally gray MMC
• Hidden identity
• Found family

🎧 Audio Score: 5 stars
🎙️ Narration Style: Solo (Hollie Jackson supremacy)
📅 Pub Date: June 17, 2025
Thank you to Victory Editing and NetGalley for the advanced listening copy. All thoughts are my own.

I mean, it is hard not to enjoy a book where the main character tells the leader of an invading army that he can’t knock down her city walls because she finally rearranged the city budget to plant flowers at their base and doesn’t want them ruined. A truly wild ride & so weird but very heartfelt. The audio narration was excellent.

Premise: Each time church figurehead Holy Maiden Ysabel uses her healing gifts she loses a day of her lifespan. Though working under the thumb of a corrupt government she does her best to help as many people as possible and achieve her human rights goals & tries to avoid being sacrificed by a gross church official. Come for the fantasy, stay for the delightful side characters, including bodyguard Alvira, who when told she can’t beat someone who insulted Ysabel because they would recognize her in the attack, very earnestly goes to get a bag to put over their head. Problem solved!

There were just a couple things keeping it from a 5 star from me - one was that it felt very long, and like it could’ve been two books. There were multiple times where I thought things were wrapping up, and then saw there were literally hours of story left. And the second issue for me was that there were some moments of dialogue that kind of took me out of the fantasy world because they felt too modern. Most came from the love interest, Kaine, which gave me a bit of the ick for him until he did something cute and golden retriever-ish again and I forgot. Other than that, the story was delightful.

Thanks to Netgalley and Victory Editing for providing me with a digital copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.

Now this ended up being a bit different than expected, but overall I enjoyed it. Where this book really shines is in the romance and charcters with more struggles in the imersion and the spice. And I have to say, I did not love the narrotor; the voices for most of the different charcters were great but speifcally for Ysabel there was a lot of incongruities and switches that felt disconnected from what was happening.

🖤the characters/world🖤
I loved the charcters in his story. Everyone was hilarious and really unique, not to mention the wonderful rep in this book. I didn't expect such a diverse read, and I'm glad I picked it up just for that (especially for a romantasy). The trans rep was pretty good, especially with some of the more realistic depictions of the different struggles and experiences. The reflection and growth from multiple characters regarding this topic was very well done, as it showed the growth but also the mistakes and improvements. Literally loved Kaine, Ysabel, and Alzira; Kaine and Alzira are so fun and entertaining in their himbo vibes. Pure good energy from them, ignoring the whole extinction-level magical power thing.
Ysabel was also a great charcter especially for one in her position. I think the book does a great job of showing why she acts the way she does in a way that does not excuse the mistakes but explains. It shows how she is trapped in this image, and while she does not agree, she is forced at times to use these harmful stereotypes. The exploration of different approaches and the harms/barriers to each was well done and added to the world. There is a lot of discussion on heavier topics, with a dark humor/blunt perspective, which I think is due to Ysabel's personality; it is done respectfully, but it is also incredibly direct. Most of the mentions center around Ysabel, and she does not hold back in her inner monologue. I can see why it might be a bit jarring, but I don't think it is a negative. Some people prefer a more blunt approach when discussing these issues. This does have a bit of a silly and fun overtone, but it does heavily focus on injustice for women/immigrants, the stereotypes women are forced into and perpetuate, sexual assault/trauma, and the political/religious manipulations of government and power.
And I do have to mention, one of the only true negatives in my opinion, is some of the modern instances of words/clothes/etc that pop up throughout the book. I'm sorry but when the book said she was wearing fishnets and a leather bikni I had to take a break. There were a decent number of more out of place elements that take away from the immersion.

💚the romance/spice💚
Good romance, bad spice. I loved the romance between Kaine and Ysabel; it was so cute, well thought out, and the chemistry was spectacular. HOWEVER, the spice wasn't great. There were a few spicy scenes, and sadly, all of them fell flat. Now I am not a spicy beginner, I read quite of bit of spice with all different themes. This felt like a first attempt at writing spice; many of the scenes felt rushed, unfinished, and like the author was unsure of where to go. Especially after the hype of the female dom/male sub dynamic, it just didn't happen. For all the mentions from Ysabel of her preferences and desires, the actual scenes felt like a bad porno. It just didn't fit with the overall vibes and the previously mentioned explanations for the characters. Anything that wasn't the spicy scenes was great; the romance and teasing were fun and steamy. It's just when it hit the next level did it suffered.

Overall, I did really like the book! The content warnings do clearly state the darker themes and I checked them before reading so I wasn't suprised. It was a pretty good blend of silly humor, dark humor, and real thoughtful exploration.

This was definitely not what I expected it to be, but I really did enjoy it. Considering the genre and the title, I expected a more lighthearted romcom based in a fantasy world. Instead, I was thrown into a st0ry with a lot of political scheming, a face-blind holy maiden, and a dark lord with a heart of gold and rocks-for-brains.
My main critique for the story is more personal than anything. I hate how quickly Isobel is resigned to dying at every hurdle thrown in the way during the story, but the story gives good reason to explain this behavior. Even though I understand why, I still couldn't help but be frustrated by it. While I love that narrator and have enjoyed many 0ther audio books she's done, I also find her British accent to be a bit strange. Sometimes she falls out of it and it throws me for a loop.

There is a lot going on in this book... Dare I say too much?

The premise of this book is so gd cool, the holy maiden has the power to heal people instantly, but each time she does so she loses a day of her life. Having been essentially sold off into this life of enslaved healing that is slowly but surely killing her, Ysabel has to navigate the patriarchal bullshit that structures her life and choices, courtly machinations, creepy ass men (ofc) and now the threat of a new Dark Lord on the doorstep who wants to burn the city down.

The cover and title made me think this was going to be a silly and lighthearted lil romantasy, so that is where my expectations were at. But it isn't that? But kinda is? Idk I'm still trying to work it out. There are some really heavy and interesting topics covered here. Firstly, at some points this could be a text you analyse in a women's studies class, it's commentary on the objectification of women, bodily autonomy, sexuality, purity culture, and gender expectation is delicious. It's tongue in cheek and clever and satirical, but also thought-provoking. I particularly loved when a side character who is more of a militant feminist argues with the FMC about their different approaches to advocating for women and the way the roles of privilege/constraints/whatever shape their ways of dealing with a patriarchal system.

There is also (what I feel is, but I'm not wholly qualified to judge) really good trans representation. I will never claim to understand fully, but as an ally this felt really authentic and genuine. This was not a tokenistic side character, this was central to the plot and I enjoyed going through the experience of learning with the FMC while she navigated her own thoughts and feelings surrounding her particular relationship to the trans character (trying really hard to not include spoilers here). There was in-depth conversations about the navigation of changing their body, and other trans people included to show a different range of perspectives not just a blanket insert of one experience. Our FMC also reflects on her poor reaction to trans people in the past and it felt like she had grown and listened which was really nice to see.

But all this being said - this is heavy???? There is A LOT of discussions of rape, sexual assault, pedophilia, kidnapping, lack of bodily autonomy, gender constructs and stuggles, the oppression of women... I mean it was cool and interesting but it almost felt like a lot of this was almost laughed off by the FMC? I feel conflicted because perhaps this was excellent satire that I just didn't vibe with, but it just felt jarring to me at points that Ysabel would talk about being kidnapped as a child and the fear of rape from an older man and then be like "but lol, womanhood amirite???" which, fair, I do talk like this with my friends but was it working 100% in this book? Idk. I don't think the narration was the right fit because it sounded like they were making it sillier and so it sounded lighthearted and jokey when perhaps at points it really shouldn't have.

I kinda feel like the author has so many amazing ideas and they were all thrown together in this one book and it didn't quite blend together but I can't quite put my finger on why. I saw another review which said this book was simultaneaously the funnist thing she'd read in a while but took the absolute longest to get there and I agree. It's funny and interesting and the world is cool, but something doesn't quite hit the mark and I found myself caring more about the political/social structures than the actual characters or plot.

Anyway, this review is probably not useful at all because I don't quite know my own feelings about the book. I would recommend to read it, but like only so I'd have people to discuss it with.

This was surprisingly good. That sounds bad, but I only mean that I went into it assuming it was a slightly comedic take on a fantasy plot (which it was, delightfully so) and was so pleasantly surprised when it was full of LGBTQIA+ rep done very well. I loved how completely one dimensional and dumb most of the male characters were while most of the actual movers and shakers in this story were all women. The characters were hilarious and campy, the court intrigue was perfection, and all in all I had a great time with this book.

Thank you to NetGalley and Podium publishing for the ARC

A Holy Maiden's Guide to Getting Kidnapped is a fun and adventurous novel. It follows the healer Ysabel who's revered as a goddess among her people. She can cure sickness with only a touch but it costs her a day of her life. One day she meets the sexy Dark Lord that makes her want to shatter her pure image. She doesn't want to be seen as holy, but drink, fool around, be intimate. Everyone views The Dark Lord as intimidating, but Ysabel can't understand why.

I really liked the queer rep! The Dark Lord was transgender, but also non-binary as I understood it. He was sweet towards Ysabel and I liked their dynamic. She understood him in a way no one else did and she never judged him. They also had fun banter. The found family was also great in this book, with Ysabel's bodyguard and best friend, Alzira.

An enjoyable adventure as the title suggest.

OMG, I’m so happy about the trans representation! I don’t want to reveal who the trans man is, but it’s a major character, and I couldn’t be happier if I tried. I didn’t realize I needed this until it was revealed about halfway through the book.

I also find Ysabel funny, but that’s just me. I loved her from the start and wanted her to take out Jiang in a way only she can. I also enjoyed the magic system in this book, and Kaine’s castle immediately reminded me of Howl.

I’m sure that was the point. I’m sure there are other references in this book that just went over my head, but that’s okay. I couldn’t stop reading this book, and I haven’t had an experience like this in a very long time.

I also enjoyed the audiobook more than I was anticipating. I’ve never heard of the female narrator before, but I enjoyed her quite a bit. I normally can’t stand it when women try men’s voices, but I didn’t mind it this time. It was a nice change.

The ending to the book, though! I definitely wasn’t expecting my heart to fill up like it did but I’m happy about it. I’m so glad things ended up the way they did, especially with the magic abilities being what they are in this series. Best ending possible!

I’d read this book again in a heartbeat, and I’d encourage everyone else to do the same. The LGBTQ+ representation is next level, and it gave me hope that I can find more books like this, especially on NetGalley.

This was a refreshing and unexpected book! I was not expecting the trans representation, or the spice, or even the world building. I do feel like it dragged a little bit, but it was such a good book. Great representation, great magical systems, really interesting and nuanced politics. It was a little dark, riotously funny, and a book that I will be recommending to anyone who loves a magical fantasy escape. Kaine and Ysabel are so delightful.

Thank you NetGalley and Podium Publishing for access to this utter delight.

I listened to this on audio and really enjoyed the narration — it suited the humour and made the tone feel light and fast-paced. The main character is sarcastic, self-aware, and clearly over everything in a way that’s quite entertaining. The male characters felt distinct and added some good contrast, especially with how different their dynamics were with her. I liked the balance of banter and tension, though I didn’t connect with the story as much as I hoped. That said, the trans rep was a really welcome touch and handled well.

This book was a fun read. I enjoyed the characters and their interactions so much. Alzira was def my favorite. Her relationship with Ysabel made this duo loveable. I loved how Ysabel seemed to truly care for the people around her and was privy to their quirks and how to help them. Another thing I really liked was the world-building and the magic and political systems. They made my brain work and the author was able to write it in a way it felt like I was watching a movie in my head. This is with the assist of the narrator of course.

Hmmm that was…….. different!
It certainly felt original, when the romantasy genre is starting to feel a little samey, and it made me smile here and there but it felt a little overly long and I wasn’t particularly found of the fmc.
It felt like lots of different topics and themes were trying to be included and it ended up feeling quite jumbled.
I had a really hard time listening to this narrator, I understand the maiden was using a different persona and tone of voice depending on who she was speaking with but the narrator made it almost impossible to get through.
Perhaps some people will absolutely love the humour and style of the book but unfortunately it just wasn’t for me