This lush novel of desire and self-love features a sensual menopausal professor seeking a mate for her third marriage.
She decides to hold a ritual swayamvar, or contest of feats, updated for the characteristics she desires in a partner today. Her announcement causes something of a sensation and a former student, now a wedding planner, steps up to help her navigate all the permits, event details, and social media. The story is about seeking, finding, and holding on to those you love and adapting to one’s changed circumstances while staying true to one’s self. Several interesting twists and discussions about aging and disabilities added to the weight of the story while magical elements and traditional stories added charm.
I found a lot to like about the frank heroine and her life on a houseboat in the Seattle area. Beautiful writing and excellent narration.
My thanks to the author, @HarperAudio, producer, and #NetGalley for early access to the audiobook of #Temperance for review purposes. Publication date: 14 October 2025.

This was a lovely story about an 55-year old Indian woman who looks for love by hosting a swayamvar, an ancient contest in Indian culture. People are scandalized that a woman who has been twice married would be looking for another husband, and would be desiring love at 55.

I would describe this book as heartwarming. It’s an inside look at the experience of being a middle aged woman and having desires. It touches on love, motherhood, religion and race. Several smiles appeared on my face as I was listening to the audiobook. This would be a great book to gift to someone or to read in a book club. I recommend the audiobook!

Rating: 4.0/5 Stars

Intemperance caught my attention right away when it was described as a feminist folktale. There could not be a more apt description for this book!
A twice-divorced female professor holds a swayamvar to select a new husband to celebrate her 55th birthday. A swayamvar is defined by Wikipedia as "a matrimonial tradition in ancient Indian society where a bride... selects her husband from a group of assembled suitors either by her own choice or a public contest between her suitors." She knows that she will receive quite the reaction from the public. She does not know if any men will show up to compete for her hand. A cast of characters come to express their feelings about this stunt: the spirit of a goddesses, a wedding planner, a disability documentarian, members of her family...
I loved the societal commentary that this book evokes. And, I really love the questions of masculinity and partnership. What task can assist a 55 year old woman in picking an ideal partner? Does she want a man with strength? Is it more important that the man can cook? Should the man be able to care of children? What do these tasks indicate about what we are looking for in a partner? What is an ideal partner? What is an ideal marriage?
I found that this book challenged my ideas of the traits of an ideal partner. I also ended up in an internet black hole while googling the swayamvar, Indian curses, the caste system, and other elements of the book. This quest for information was just as interesting to me than the immersive environment of the novel.
I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in light magical realism, women's fiction, or stories that make you tackle questions of gender norms and the role of partnership in a woman's life.