This novel is a story about a deconstruction of faith. Mary Kay, once a devoted Southern Baptist woman, takes us through the trauma she experienced as a child and her friends experienced through the church. Even through it all, she held onto loyalty to Jesus. Struggling with false teachings, and harmful practices, she takes a break from the church itself. She lives a life exploring the things she believes she missed out on, and going all in. She was then invited by a couple to visit their church, and this came as a shock. This began her church journey all over again, but in a new light, with new life experiences. Her kids missed church, and she knew this was a journey worth completing. After talking to many pastors, and rabbi’s, friends of faith, she finally feels at home, and joins an affirming church. I don’t want to spoil the book, but Mary Kay did a wonderful job telling a very vulnerable testimony. We are to love one another, AS OURSELVES. She hones in solely on the teachings of Jesus throughout the Bible. I can honestly say this book wasn’t what I was expecting, but I am glad I did. It taught me that asking questions about my faith isnt “disobeying God”, it’s simply in hopes to have a closer relationship, and be more understanding.

The audiobook was hard to follow along and got very confusing when she began new chapters and timelines, but this problem may not apply to the book. I also do not agree with “rewriting” the Bible, and it felt a little passive to the scripture.
Personally, not my type of book, but it is honest, witty, vulnerable, and chaotic in a good way!

**Personally, I would not catagorize this as a Christian book. I would put this under “Religion&Spirituality” genre**

Thank you NetGalley, publisher and author for allowing me this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

Not That Wheel, Jesus!: Stories From a Faith That Went Off-Road in the Best (And Worst) Possible Ways by Mary Katherine Backstrom

Format: eBook + Audiobook | Narrator: Mary Katherine Backstrom

So basically, this book is Mary Katherine Backstrom’s spiritual detour story, from "pH 14 youth group kid" to someone actively wrestling with everything she thought she knew about faith. She starts off as the kind of Christian who probably had a WWJD bracelet for every outfit, until one day her kid asks if his Jewish best friend is going to hell.

That one question sends her into a slow spiral, through doubt, deconstruction, therapy, and a whole lot of processing out loud. Eventually, she lands in a place of softer, less certain belief. It’s messy, sometimes funny, sometimes heavy, and you can tell she’s just figuring it out as she goes.

🎧 She Can Talk, but Can She Timeline?

I semi-tandem read this one since I had both the audio and the ebook, and honestly, I’m glad I did. The audio brought out the author’s humor and delivery really well, but structurally? It was a little all over the place. Each chapter jumps to a different point in her life—which, sure, cool concept—but with no real transitions or timeline markers, it just felt…confusing.

The only heads-up you get is a new chapter title, and then you’re dropped into a totally different point in her life with no warning. I’d spend the first few minutes of every chapter just trying to figure out where we were, and more often than not, I’d have to rewind after I finally pieced it together so I could actually listen and process what she was saying. Not a great setup for audio, if you ask me.

✝️ “Christian” with an Asterisk

And now here’s the other thing.

This book is labeled “Christian,” but I think that needs a big ol’ asterisk. I didn’t research the author beforehand, just saw the bright cover and quirky title and thought, “sure, why not?” Turns out, I probably should’ve looked her up. I went in expecting something that aligned more with traditional Christian values or at least offered some biblical encouragement. Instead, it leans heavily into faith deconstruction and progressive spirituality.

I’ve never been burned by a church exactly, but I’ve had faith used against me enough to know how easily it can be twisted...so yeah, I get the urge to question things. I’m not knocking that. But the way she picks and chooses what parts of the Bible to believe just didn’t sit right with me. It felt less like questioning and more like rewriting, and that’s where it lost me a bit.

The political undertones are hard to miss, but I’m not going to unpack all that here.

😂 She’s Got Jokes

That said, she is funny. Like, actually funny. Her stories are engaging and personal, and there were quite a few moments that genuinely made me laugh or caught me off guard emotionally. She’s clearly a talented writer and storyteller, and I can see why people connect with her.

📚 Final Thoughts

If you’re looking for something lighthearted, messy, and honest about faith and personal growth, with a lot of humor and some chaos, this might hit the spot.

But if you’re hoping for a book rooted in Scripture or something that lines up with more traditional theology, you’ll probably end up feeling a little let down like I did.

Thank you to NetGalley, Worthy Publishing, and Hachette Audio for the opportunity to read and listen to this title in exchange for an honest review!

This wasn’t a bad book. It just wasn’t my kind of book.

Another memoir that I find difficult to gauge. I found the writing highly engaging, the stories full of pathos, and the arguments generally understandable if not valid. Having been raised in a very similar situation and also experienced some level of hurt, I can understand the reactions of the author, I just didn’t come to the same conclusions. With that said, I can see why this author has developed a following because she has a great mix of pathos and argument.

Thank you Hachette Audio and Mary Katherine Backstrom for providing this audiobook for review consideration via NetGalley. All opinions are my own.

Lesson learned, if a book is labeled as “Christian,” look up the author prior. The bright cover and catchy title peaked my interest, but this book really isn’t for Christians. I will preface the rest of my review by saying, I was also hurt by the Church growing up. I wrestled with a lot of that into adulthood before I found a better way to practice my faith and a wonderful church that was far more welcoming than what I was used to. So, as a Christian, I cringed a lot while reading this book. The author is forgetting one important thing - the Bible is about bad people, people who haven’t listened to God’s wisdom, so you can’t have it both ways girl! You either believe everything in the Bible or none of it, you can’t pick and choose what you want to believe. So in the end, this book was nothing like I thought it was going to be. It’s too bad too because the author is funny, and I think she’s an excellent writer and a great narrator, but our beliefs just don’t align, and at the end of the day that’s okay. I didn’t hate the book, it just went against a few things I believe in, but I did enjoy some of her stories and how great she was at storytelling. I wish our beliefs aligned more because I honestly would go out and buy every one of her books right now, she’s that entertaining!

Just got through listening to Not That Wheel, Jesus! By Mary Katherine Backstrom
I don't know when I've related to a book more. Southern Christians beware, you might start asking questions, and if your church doesn't allow questions, eh....
I'll just leave that there.
Lots of laughs, but so much more. MK leads you through her spiritual journey... One that so many of us can relate to.
Yes, there's some cursing.
Yes, there's some questioning.
Yes, you might just find some answers. ❤️
#notthatwheeljesus
#marykatherinebackstrom
#netgalley

While I no longer identify as Christian/evangelical, I do like reading memoirs of those who wrestled through their faith. I could connect to many of the points she made.

She is such a fun narrator! I'm glad I actually listened to this book. Her fun loving, loud, and drama-filled writing is awesome.

Thanks NetGalley for the ARC.

As someone who was strong in faith growing up, fell away, and came back herself I loved this memoir. Talking about how faith can be weaponized against young girls. Talking how churches can protect abusers in the name of peace. Talking how you can participate but not join simply for who you love. Working through all of these hot topics into finding a church that fits your faith. Talking how faith isn’t black and white. Talking about how working through hardships tests faith. All of this really resonated with me. I also love when authors narrate their own novels - huge fan. Thank you Hachette audio and NetGalley for this alc in exchange for my honest review.

I have been reading Mary Katherine Backstrom's substack for a few years now, I found her through her fellow deconstructionist writer Father Nathan Monk, whom she talks about in this latest book. I was fortunate to be allowed to download an advanced listening copy audiobook via NetGalley; thank you to the author and Hachette audio. I am not sure why I was so surprised at MK's personality and bubbly Southern accent- I knew she was from Alabama and somehow never read her words in a southern accent.

There are a few memoirs and Christian living books in this genre, I really enjoy reading them and it helps me to learn about myself. This book is a lot funnier than I expected, MK has a self-deprecating and simple humor associated with her past time as an evangelical. She has a very mature and questioning attitude about her faith, rejecting rigidity and self-righteousness. Being a mom and having kids that ask great questions really help her make sense of her deconstruction and reconstruction.

This is not written as a linear story and memoir, but focuses on those moments that were monumental in shaping her faith- how her church reacted to find out her stepfather was abusing her, how she reacted when her son asked her if a friend was going to hell, her husband asking for a divorce, and being an ally to the LGBTQ community.

I think sometimes deconstruction stories can be incomplete without the re-construction. MK uses a lovely analogy about a mosaic art of Jesus that was destroyed in a tornado and then painstaking put back together and strengthened. She is honest and contemplative, but not flashy and emotional. This is funny but definitely at a distance. I think she is a great writer and I appreciate when an audiobook memoir is voiced by the author. She has a refreshing humility to approach doubt and faith, and the way those two play with each other.

“…most of the time we’re all just people.”

I really enjoyed this journey of faith with Backstrom. While I don’t agree with some of her thoughts and conclusions on all matters, I do think she’s the type of person that welcomes those discrepancies and loves anyways.

There were portions of this memoir that made me laugh out loud (walking down the streets of Chicago, I’m sure I looked crazy 😬🙈) there were portions that made me stop, listen, and replay to make sure i could grasp it all. There were also portions that were highly applicable to my own journey. And while I don’t agree with everything, I do agree that often the church has been a place of injury more than a hospital of healing and I want to be sure I err on the side of showing His love.

Deconstruction has been a major part of the Christian community for a while now, but I love that Backstrom doesn’t stay and live in the hurt and pain, she rebuilds from it. She takes accountability for the hurt she caused while holding others accountable for the hurt they caused. As she puts its, she owns “100% of her 50%” in all areas.

I love when the author also does the narration for her books and this was no exception. Her southern draw gave authenticity to her story, and I knew she was emphasizing exactly what was intended.

Thank you NetGalley and Hatchet and Audio for the ARC. I will continue to think about this one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“If you want to destroy my sweater, hold this thread as I walk away.” -wheezer

“The journey of faith feels so much different when your babies are in the car.”

“Kids are never more curious, more wiggly, or more thirsty than when it’s time for bed.”

“What is it about growing up that robs us of this beautiful curiosity.”

“If church was a hospital for sinners it needed its license pulled. Best I could tell the souls who attended were far sicker than the ones who slept in.”

“everyone follows the funeral rule book. We’ll break promises, but never etiquette.”

“The gap between truth and perception can be surprisingly wide.”

“That’s how you know you’re in the upper case S South. The default settings are different. There’s sugar in our tea, there’s prayer in our schools, and our Jesus supports open carry.” 😂

“lifeway…like Spencer’s for Christians.” 🤣

“…Less sugar and spice, more fire and life.”

“Sometimes the delusions we create are more exciting than our reality so we tell ourselves fantastically realities to avoid facing all the hard stuff.”

“I had convinced myself that if I understood why he left maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much any more or maybe I could fix the problem…somewhere in that pain I began to understand that my healing wouldn’t come from understanding him, it would come from understanding myself.”

“Dysfunctional relationships don’t happen in a vacuum.”

“Each step I took reminded me I was responsible for my own happiness. I was no longer a passive character in someone else’s story, I was the author of my own healing.”

“Maybe the difference between good guys and bad guys is who narrates the story.”

“Resentment cuts us off from the sunshine of the spirit.”

“Forgiveness doesn’t negate accountability. It just means you let go of the anger holding you back.”

“How much different would my faith have been if I believed I was intrinsically lovable? How much trauma could I have avoided if I knew deep in my heart I was good.”