Thank you to @hachetteaudio and @netgalley for an advanced listener copy.

I loved this memoir. And I loved that the author read it even more! I think I could listen to her speak all day. To be honest, I didn’t know anything about Keeley Hazell before listening to her book. I only requested it because I knew Keeley’s character on Ted Lasso was based off of her. After listening to her story and her struggles with this, I wish that wasn’t the reason I picked it up. I laughed out loud multiple times and was so mad for her at times. Overall, I enjoyed learning about her life, super interesting, and highly recommend.

Hazell tells an honest, unabashed story of her life. I loved hearing in her own voice about that life.
People look down on any kind of sex work, even when they consume it. Hazell looks at the economics of how Page 3 girls and others find it easy to accept the lifestyle. It's heart-twisting learning about how she grew up. And then, how life continues to throw punches, even when Jason Sudeikis and Ted Lasso come into her world.
Honest and truly feminist, Everyone's Seen My Tits is a story about how everyone wants to read a redemption story but won't let people actually redeem themselves.

I really enjoyed this memoir. I had no idea who Keeley Hazell was, and was drawn to the book because of the title.
I really enjoyed the story, and enjoyed that it was told in the author’s own voice. It really brought the story home and made it that much more personal.
I really enjoyed how she was open and honest in her story. This memoir is funny at times, and relatable, but at the same time it points out many issues with how women, even celebrity women are treated and objectified.
I really enjoyed her story, and the details of the betrayal she suffered, and how she worked through the trauma and anxiety of what that entailed.

I won’t deny, the title did grab my attention. I hadn’t heard of the author before, but I was intrigued. I listened to the audiobook and from the offset, I was captivated… having been born and bred in SE England, I recognised so many of Keeley’s stories. The book is warm, funny and relatable. I hope Keeley is genuinely happy, whatever she is doing now. Thank you NetGalley.

2.5

Well the good news is that I haven't seen Keeley Hazell's tits. I've no plans to either.

I think I expected this to be more of a transformation book about Keeley's life as a model where she learned that money isnt everything and a good education is what got her through. It wasn't.

Keeley started out as a page 3 model (ie topless) for the tabloids. Her sole ambition seemed to be to make a lot of money, date a footballer and not be recognised. Unfortunately she ended up being chased by paparazzi, vilified by the press and had a string of terrible boyfriends. I suspect her worst moment might have been not getting picked to play "herself" in Ted Lasso.

I listened to the audio version which, I admit, probably coloured my enjoyment since Keeley (who has lived in LA for some years) seems to have picked up the irritating habit of replacing the t at the end of words with a d (desperadely, fortunadely, waiding, etc etc). She also has a habit of over-emoting (or emoding) but since she is relating her younger life I guess I should expect that.

I have to say that she's remarkable to have survived a childhood that seemed to include a not very nice sister, poverty, bad housing and two of the most disinterested parents I've come across - what kind of mother doesn't even visit her child in hospital after a car crash?

I'm sure Keeley Hazell is a perfectly lovely person but this book simply wasn't for me. I wish her the best of luck in her writing career.

Thankyou to Netgalley and Hachette Audio for the audio advance review copy.

Keeley Hazell’s memoir is as cheeky as its title and a lot sharper, too. She dishes on her Page 3 fame, Hollywood struggles, and the strange business of being ogled for a living—then flips it into a witty, self-aware commentary on identity and ambition. One of the juiciest tidbits? Hazell claims she was the inspiration for the Keeley character in Ted Lasso, which makes the book feel like you’ve stumbled into the DVD commentary for your favorite show, only with more sequins.

The pacing meanders here and there, but Hazell’s candor and humor hold it together. Equal parts confessional and cultural critique, it’s a gutsy, funny read that proves her voice deserves just as much attention as her image. Come for the scandalous title, stay for the Ted Lasso trivia.

*Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this free ARC in exchange for an honest review. Pub date: August 26, 2025

An essay-style memoir with the audiobook narrated by the author. Funny, honest, and engaging, but also grim in its reflections about growing up poor and female. I didn’t know anything about the author before reading this and definitely learned a lot. She overcame a lot and seemingly had some success but despite that, this ended on an impassioned rant about how it’s all just not fair.

Keeley has lived a life of NON privilege. This is book is Real! She tells about the world she grew up in where she had to fight for her life daily, even in her home life! She continues to fight for her goals and livelihood each day. I wish her all the best. She deserves it.

I enjoyed Everyone's Seen My Tits. Keeley Hazell had a unique, yet sadly, in many ways, unilateral experience of growing up as a girl in working-class Britain. I enjoyed her narration; it was fun and upbeat.

I did find at times the story came across a little flat, more memoir in style. I think I would have preferred more of the feminist aspects to be brought in earlier. I understand the overall picture, it was created, but it meant it took longer for me to enjoy.

The length was good and the perspective was very interesting! The reflections were insightful, and I did enjoy to a certain level how they left you to draw your own conclusions of how they affected Keeley as a person.

Everyone's Seen My Tits is a refreshingly honest and sharply funny memoir that surprised me in all the best ways. Keeley Hazell offers a candid, vulnerable, and often poignant look at her life. It starts with her early years in London and goes on to her unexpected journey through fame, sexism, self-discovery, and feminism.

I listened to the audio.
What stood out most to me was Keeley's narration. Her voice is warm, witty, and deeply engaging. It feels like she’s confiding in you directly, making the listening experience incredibly personal. She strikes a rare balance between humor and heartache, and her self-awareness and storytelling made it easy to stay emotionally invested throughout.

Highly recommend, especially if you're looking for a memoir that defies expectations and is told with both grit and grace.

Standing ovation for Keeley Hazell! This amazing woman tore open her heart and soul and put it all on paper for the whole world to read. No holds barred. She doesn’t try to impress, sanitize or apologize for anything. Instead her gut wrenching honesty is admirable and inspiring. This is why I read memoirs and autobiographies. Her keen perceptions about patriarchy will make you angry and that is the point. You will laugh and cringe and shed a tear sometimes all at once. You may wonder why, why would anyone want to share such deep dark intimate stories about their life? For entertainment yes but that would be too simple. There is such a larger and more important purpose behind it. You must listen to the audiobook! Ok yes her voice is one I could listen to everyday but more importantly her passion comes through with every story.

This book is one of my favorites of this year so far. A clever, witty read, Hazell opens up in this raw retelling of her life. This book will shock you, make you laugh out loud and by the last chapter I was clapping and covered in chills. I was hands free because I listened to the audiobook which is narrated by the Hazell herself, it’s always best to hear the story from the source. Audio/production was great had no issues there. Keely is beyond charming, I can’t recommend this book enough!

Wow! This memoir is the epitome of a tour de force. I had no idea what to expect. I had watched Ted Lasso, but had no knowledge of Keeley Hazell. I loved the character Keeley, but did not know the depiction of the character's life had any basis in reality, nor that the real Keeley was on the show at all. Gobsmacked. Gob. Smacked.

As soon as it started I was locked in for the long haul. Keeley's story is beyond what anyone would expect. It is violent and raw and real and triumphant but not enough for her. I want justice for Keeley, I want love for Keeley, I want so so much more for Keeley than life has given her. I want so so much more for women than life still has not given them.

Take the chance on this vulnerable and frank memoir. Allow yourself to be there, even when it's hard, you will laugh, you may cry, hopefully you'll be angry or if not be dumbstruck for a moment and allow her life help you see how life can be, still, for so many. You cannot go back in time to help Keeley, but you can be there for her now by listening to her and being aware of how we as a human race can do better. I am so proud of Keeley, amazed by her and I will be looking forward to her work while simultaneously looking out for her. Team Real Keeley!
~sincerely, sm for bb

This was a raw yet humorous memoir. Perfect for fans of Ted Lasso and stories of turning the negatives into positives.

Keeley Hazel certainly knows how to get your attention. I thought the title was hilarious and the cover art brilliant. I had no idea who she was but I decided to give it a try. Keeley has really good banter. Her story reminded me a bit of Holly Madison.

Theo is the absolute worst and I cannot begin to imagine what it was like to have a sex tape released. Keeley took it in stride and tried to make the best of an unforgivable situation.

That being said, I didn’t love this book. I found it to be a bit repetitive with all the boyfriends, dating and being a glamour model. What lost it for me was the ending and learning she really really hates Juno Temple.

If you know who Keeley is, you might enjoy this biography. She is a good writer and I did find many of the stories interesting or humorous. If you have no idea who she is, I wouldn’t recommend this book.

Thank you NetGalley and Hachette Audio for the advanced copy.

5 stars for the audio narration.

It was absolutely terrible. Literally nothing good to say. Except I did love the title it’s why I wanted to read it.

Found this book funny and good account about what it was like to be a page 3 girl , it’s wrote in a light hearted way even through some of her more challenging times in her life

I find myself so conflicted here. I enjoyed listening to Keeley’s narration of her wild stories and rollercoaster life. I can appreciate her tone and vulnerability in sharing her trauma and sincere reactions to them. I loved the last chapter where she lays out her thoughts on feminism as a juxtaposition from the beginning of the book.

But I have some real problems with some of the verbiage, terminology, and feminist aspects. Using triggering words involving SA to describe her reactions to situations didn’t work for me. I wished her learnings about feminism were present in the situations around her, how it affected her, and the outcomes of dealing with these traumatic events. I wanted that last chapter weaved through the memoir.

Also, attacking the actress that now played “her” on TV feels quite contradictory to the idea of women supporting women since this actress allegedly benefitted from systems they didn’t put in place.

Overall, it was an okay time.

Thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for an advanced audiobook copy.

An entertaining memoir, the real origin story of Keeley! The audiobook is well read by the author and it's quite funny. From humble beginnings to getting passed over to play a version of herself in Ted Lasso, I enjoyed listening to Keeley tell her story, her way.

Thanks to NetGalley and Hachette Audio for the digital copy of this audiobook; I am leaving this review voluntarily.

Content warnings courtesy readers on Storygraph: Graphic: Car accident, Physical abuse, Death Moderate: Sexual violence, Stalking, Sexism

I’ve never seen Ted Lasso or heard of Keeley Hazell, but I read the blurb of this book and knew I’d read/listen to it even if I wouldn’t have been approved for an ARC. I enjoy memoirs from people who have a self-deprecating sense of humor, so this book was right in my wheelhouse. I also like when authors read their own memoirs, which Hazell does well well.

Despite encountering some of my personal content warning/triggers that I don’t normally read about, I still thought this was a great book. Hazell has had a lot to deal with in her life: abuse from her dad, abuse from people she was in a relationship with; she even went through the trauma of the selling of a sex tape by her ex. Let’s face it- that’s a lot of stuff to try and get over and try to live your life.

All I can say is that holy cow, some of these stories are only 10 – 15 years old, but the misogyny and sexism was off-the-charts awful, and I’m talking about the UK, not the U.S. as one would expect. Keeley Hazell is not afraid to write about her vulnerability and the things that happened to her. I know that the last decade or so things improved for women a little bit before society started backsliding, or maybe I just feel that way because of the current state of the U.S.

Now. this sounds like the book is a real downer, but Hazell has the same life philosophy that I have: you either have to laugh or cry, and I choose laughter. This book is LOL funny! As Keeley relates stories from her life, there’s a levity that is appreciated. I also commend her for sharing some difficult stories, too.