3.0 Stars!

Thank you NetGalley, Hachette Audio, Grand Central Publishing and Keeley Hazell for the arc in exchange for an honest review!

Thoughts:

Wow! Keeley gives the brutally honest and real recounting of her life story from youth to her adulthood. She doesn’t shy away from the details or call outs when bringing up the misogyny, violence, and trauma she went through. There is truly something special about memoirs written by authors who are not afraid to speak the truth and nothing but the truth. Kudos to Keely for opening up in a raw way that wouldn’t be easy for everyone.

I will say I wish we had more of a deep dive into some of the issues in her past that were just briefly mentioned (specifically with her family). Also, I’m all for dark humor, but I just didn’t find this book as funny as others have. Lastly, the tone of the story stayed the same for me from beginning to end and the wrap of the book was pretty quick in a way that made it feel like I just read the summary conclusion to a college essay.

I would definitely recommend others to read this story as we continue to reveal that the media will only give you a peek into someone’s story and most of the time it isn’t even correct.

Paperback/Hardcover/Audiobook/E-book:

Audiobook

Pace:

Medium

Triggers:

Abuse, Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence, Harassment, Death, Misogyny, Sexism, Drugs, Alcoholism, Injury, Toxic Relationships, Pyromania, etc.

I'm not going to lie, i thought this book was going to be a lot more humerus than it was. while it's packed to the gills with the reality of living in the time and area that the Keeley lived in, it is a dark and grim tale and i struggled with a lot of the content within the book, so much so, i couldn't finish it. While it's true that i didn't care for the book, i LOVED the narrator. it's voiced by the author herself, which i found very engaging, and while i didn't care for the content, it's still a very well written and engaging story. you just need to be aware that it's, well, quite dark and riddled with the grim reality of life as a little girl, half raised on the streets of the poorest parts of london. If your less anxious than me, then it's well worth the read, but it was definitely not for me.

i would like to thank Hachette Audio | Grand Central Publishing, an Netgalley for this ARC

I didn’t know who Keeley Hazell was before reading this book, although the name sounded familiar to me. (I later discovered that it is also the name of a fictional character in Ted Lasso.) In Everyone’s Seen My Tits, Keeley shares her personal journey from growing up in a ‘poor’ family in South London to becoming a ‘Page 3’ icon. Just when her modeling career seemed to be going well, she became a victim of revenge porn. This incident led her to reflect deeply on her experiences as a woman without privilege, and she subsequently explored new paths in acting and writing.

Listening to the audiobook, I could sense Keeley’s cheerful spirit despite the many challenges and setbacks she has faced, including a difficult childhood and toxic relationships. This is not an easy book to listen to, as it continually reveals shocking stories. As a listener, it was a powerful experience to witness Keeley’s growth throughout the memoir. Overall, this book is raw and unfiltered, but it is a compelling story about feminism and personal resilience.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Audio for providing an advance copy of the audiobook.

*3.5 stars*

I had no idea who Keeley Hazell was or what her story might be, but I picked up Everyone’s Seen My Tits purely because of the brilliant title and striking cover and honestly, chef’s kiss to the marketing team. I also listened to the audiobook, narrated by the author herself, and it really elevates the experience. Her delivery captures the humor, pain, and vulnerability in a way that makes the memoir feel deeply personal.

The first half was intriguing with it being witty, raw, sometimes shocking, and often funny, even while recounting genuinely traumatic experiences. Hazell has a knack for blending levity with honesty. But as the book moved into the middle section, I found the chapters becoming repetitive. There was a lot of circling back to the theme of naivety, and while I completely respect the fact that these were real and painful experiences, as a reader I found the structure started to drag and lose momentum.

The story picked up again when Hazell began reflecting more on the patterns in her life and tying them into broader ideas around feminism and how women are perceived in society. Those moments were sharp and insightful, and I wished they had been given more space to shine. Unfortunately, the last chapter in particular felt rushed like a condensed feminist manifesto squeezed into the book, which for me didn’t land as naturally as the rest of her storytelling.

That said, this is still a solid and witty memoir, with moments of real brilliance. Hazell’s voice, both in writing and narration is captivating, and the audiobook production is excellent. While it didn’t fully deliver on the “unlikely feminist” angle I was expecting, it’s an entertaining, heartfelt, and often eye-opening read.

Thanks to NetGalley and HachetteAudio for this Book.

Thank you to Keeley Hazell, Grand Central Publishing, Hachette Audio, and NetGalley for the advance listening copy in exchange for an honest review.

Memoirs can be difficult to review, and I generally avoid rating them if I didn’t personally connect with the story. After all, this is someone’s life and their perspective, and that deserves respect. That said, since this was an ALC provided through NetGalley, I’m sharing my thoughts with that context in mind.

Everyone's Seen My Tits was positioned as a kind of feminist memoir, but aside from maybe two chapters, that theme didn’t really come through for me. Much of the book felt more self-pitying than self-reflective, and while I don’t deny that the author faced real challenges, the tone sometimes came across as insincere or overly focused on “woe is me” moments.

Of course, everyone is entitled to tell their story the way they see it, and my opinion doesn’t diminish the reality of her experiences. While this book didn’t resonate with me personally, I appreciate Keeley Hazell's willingness to be vulnerable and put her story out into the world.

I’m sure this memoir will speak more deeply to others, but it ultimately wasn’t the right fit for me.

I was pulled to this book just by the title, AND LET ME TELL YOU, this book blew me away!!

Keeley Hazell pulls you in right from the first page with her earnest retelling of her youth and all of the events that formed her understanding of feminism, class, and sexuality. So many of her stories reminded me of things people close to me have been through, and her writing is so conversational that I felt like I was hearing these stories from a good friend. As soon as I finished the book, I immediately started telling my friends about Hazell's book, and they even commented on how it felt like I was telling them about someone I personally knew.

I did not know who Keeley Hazell was before receiving this ALC, but halfway through the book I was googling her and following her on every social media platform. I always love when an author narrates their own audiobook, especially when it's a memoir or other nonfiction, and Keeley Hazell absolutely KILLED the storytelling for her book. She adds so much color and feeling, and I was right there with her for every single second.

This book is the perfect blend of humor, reflection, and societal commentary, and I have already recommended it to everyone I know.

This was WAY too dramatic for me. It sounded like a reality tv show way more than an emotional and honest/heartfelt memoir. While the narration was okay, the story itself just didn't keep me interested. Not for me unfortunately and I had no idea who the author was before giving it a try, I was hoping for something more relatable than I found it to be. Many thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an chance to listen to an early ALC in exchange for my honest thoughts.

Keeley is SO transparent about her life with such a great sense of humor. She made me feel so many emotions: I laughed, I got enraged on her behalf, I nodded along in agreement. I'm so glad she shared her story with the world!

Keeley Hazell’s essay collection Everyone’s Seen My Tits is a sharp, funny, and heartfelt exploration of fame, reinvention, and self-discovery. From her working-class upbringing to her rise as a glamour model and eventual shift into acting and writing, Hazell reflects on objectification, feminism, and reclaiming her story. Honest and empowering, her essays capture both the absurdities of fame and the universal struggle of becoming who you truly are.

As a big Ted Lasso fan, I knew Hazell from her role as Bex, so when I saw the advance audiobook on NetGalley I was immediately curious. I was pleasantly surprised by how engaging her story was, especially hearing her narrate it herself. She’s open, witty, and self-effacing, sharing both the challenges of her upbringing and the pressures of fame with honesty and humor.

What stood out most was her mix of vulnerability and resilience. She doesn’t hide her struggles with self-doubt, but shows how her drive and determination helped her move forward and reinvent herself. The result is a memoir that’s not only entertaining but also inspiring and relatable. Fans of Hazell, and anyone who enjoys candid, personal storytelling, will find plenty to love here.

Thank you to NetGalley and Hachette Audio for the advance copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

I went into Everyone’s Seen My Tits only knowing Keeley Hazell from her character on Ted Lasso, but I’m so glad I picked this up. I loved how honest and straightforward she was in telling her story. She doesn’t hold back, and it made me appreciate her so much more beyond her public persona. Her reflections on feminism and her experiences as a woman were especially powerful, and I really enjoyed following her journey. I listened to the audiobook and it was narrated so well - it was clear, engaging, and it honestly felt like listening to a friend share their story.

For listeners interested in the intersection of media, gender, and self-advocacy, this audiobook offers both insight and catharsis. Hazell’s story is especially relevant in a cultural moment where women are reclaiming agency over their bodies and their stories. Her reflections are not just about fame—they’re about survival, growth, and the audacity to be more than what others expect.

Keeley Hazell’s Everyone’s Seen My Tits is a fierce, funny, and deeply human memoir that transcends its tabloid origins. It’s a must-listen for anyone who’s ever felt misjudged, underestimated, or boxed in by labels. Hazell proves that the most powerful stories are the ones we dare to tell ourselves.

Publication date August 26, 2025

A Special Thank you to Hatchett Audio, Keeley Hazell for this ALC.

FIVE STAR ALERT!!!

Keeley Hazell is brilliant, hilarious, and emotional in 'Everyone's Seen My Tits'. This is one of the funniest audiobooks I have ever listened to!! I was laughing out loud from beginning to end. I could not stop listening! The audio quality was superb. Keeley Hazell's narration was colorful and animated. Her voice is addicting to listen to. And she brought the perfect insight into her life and personal stories. I could really relate to her and I also learned so much about her career and about womanhood in general. It felt like the best FaceTime conversation I've ever had. Keeley's stories were introspective and gave me everything I wanted in an autobiography. She is most definitely my favorite type of feminist and brings immense knowledge to the table, along with some girl talk. It's too good!


Thank you to Hachette Audio, Grand Central Publishing, and NetGalley for a free copy of the audiobook in exchange for my honest review!

4.25 | Everything I Know About Love meets My Body

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with an audio copy of this book!

I'll be honest, the title of this book certainly caught my attention. I've always been curious about this topic and of course love hearing about women's stories. This was laugh-out-loud funny at times, traumatic at times, and all together fun, empowering, and Keeley Hazell has gained a new fan in me. This is a must-read for fans of Dolly Alderton, Jeanette McCurdy, Poppy Jamie, Lily King, Joan Didion, etc. Keeley also did a phenomenal job of narrating! I hope this book gets the popularity it deserves!

This was an amazing read, I requested it on NetGalley on a whim because I thought the cover and description sounded cute/funny and was pleasantly surprised.

I listened to this as an audiobook and I highly recommend that everyone does because without Keeley's accents/voices for the people it wouldn't be the same. Her delivery was phenomenal and I honestly felt like I was back watching the Bill at my nan's house with some of her tales very fitting to an episode.

It was amazing how raw and honest she was about topics like revenge porn, abuse and cheating that I can't praise her more for opening up and sharing.

I was unfamiliar with Keeley Hazell before reading this book, but I found this memoir very enjoyable to read. I read this in audio, and Keeley herself narrates the book, which is a great choice - her narration is well done and adds emotion and depth to her story.

Keeley's story covers her time as a page 3 model (which is a thing in the British tabloid The Sun, which features topless women on page 3), her unfortunate experience with revenge porn at 21, and her struggles with public opinion after the porn incident given her career. Her reflections are refreshingly honest and vulnerable as well as thought-provoking. The timely reflection on what it means to be in the entertainment industry and how much of yourself you give to the public is particularly interesting to read.

Thank you to Hachette for the opportunity to listen and review before the release!

Thank you to #netgalley and #HachetteAudio For allowing me this Arc copy in advance.

I listened to the audio book of this memoir. Keeley is a former glamour model. A writer and actress. This follows her story so far. From her troubled life growing up with struggling parents in London. Struggling to find work with no qualifications leaving school. Getting into college. Finding herself in trouble with the police as a teenager. Getting into glamour modelling. Finding fame. Dealing with revenge p0rn. Getting into acting.
What a turbulent life she has led yet she describes it with fondness and great emotion. I found this very interesting and somewhat relatable.
This is my first experience of an adiobook. I enjoyed this a lot, the story is narrated by Keeley herself. I enjoyed her tone throughout and her changing accents to differentiate who was speaking. It's easy to follow along and is very entertaining.

Keeley shares pivotal moments from her life, taking the reader on a journey to better understand her experiences, challenges, struggles and how they led her to some of her happiest and hardest moments.

I really enjoyed how we started at one point in time and then built up around that with stories that provided nuance, empathy and understanding. Keeley narrates the audiobook, which is perfect, as you could hear her emotions throughout the book. She’s also really funny, which helped lighten a book that explored some heavier topics. She brought so much care, thought, vulnerability and realistic optimism to the story. I’d definitely recommend to anyone who enjoys memoirs.

I recently had the opportunity to read an Advanced copy of the audiobook for the new memoir by British model and inspiration for Ted Lasso‘s Keeley Jones, Keeley Hazell. It’s called Everyone’s Seen My Tits, and it’s incredible! Let’s dive in!


TRIGGER WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS MENTIONS OF REVENGE PORN, BUS ACCIDENTS, AND DOMESTIC ABUSE. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION
For much of her life, Keeley Hazell has been labeled and pigeonholed. Growing up in a poor working-class family made her a certain kind of person (the kind who scrounged for chicken and chips money and once set a car on fire). Becoming a topless model after winning The Sun newspaper’s “Page 3 Idol” competition made her a certain kind of person (one with big boobs and few thoughts, to hear anyone else tell it). And as glittery as being one of the UK’s most successful glamour models may seem, Keeley’s fairytale success quickly turned into a nightmare. After becoming a victim of revenge porn and a particularly disastrous interview with a high brow British newspaper, Keeley began re-examining her life. She learned about feminism, objectification, and systemic misogyny on a wonderful journey of personal growth, and with a flick of her hair, quit modelling, walked away from a fat paycheck, and moved thousands of miles away from everything she had come to know. Reinventing herself as an actress and writer, she starred in award-winning short films, as well as horrors, dramas, and comedies before facing her most challenging job on the massive hit series Ted Lasso– rewriting what it means to be Keeley both on-screen and in real life.

EVERYONE’S SEEN MY TITS is a powerful, funny, high spirited essay collection. From growing up on a council estate and her tumultuous relationship with fame to overcoming adversity, finding feminism, and finding herself, these essays chronicle one woman’s coming-of-age and coming into herself. A personal journey with universal appeal as girls worldwide continue to battle how they are perceived, who they really are, and what they can be.

Everyone’s Seen My Tits Synopsis, Netgalley.com

I love memoirs and I like humor. This book had all that and a lot more that I was not expecting. Keeley Hazell is a hilarious writer who took her traumas of living with an abusive father, abusive partners (yes, multiple), and conversations around sexuality and put it into a really engaging book.

There should be more books talking about the tenacity of women who go through trauma as a public figure, and how the world is so cruel to women and so rewarding to men. Keeley’s story starts as a poor teenager growing up on the streets of Southeast London. During this time, she had to deal with an abusive father and one sister. The book goes through the history of her father’s abuse of her, her mom, and her sister. In 2004, Keeley became a star when she won The Sun’s Page 3 Idol Competition. This shot her off into her modeling career.

There were some seriously heavy moments from early on in her life that are told in the beginning, including when a city bus driver in Lewisham wouldn’t stop for her friend Christian and then dragged him down the street. He ended up dying. This story, as well as how she lit a car on fire and became obsessed with fire as a teenager, really brings the character of the girl from the Council estates in Lewisham to the front of the story and sets a tone for the rest of the book.

The thing about having nude photos and your body out for consumption is that the public feels like they own your body in a way. This is explored when she talks about her abusive ex-boyfriend, who was cheating their entire relationship. In 2006, Keeley’s ex-boyfriend broke into her apartment, which they had previously shared, and stole a computer, 2 TVs, and a video camera that had a sex tape she recorded with him. A week later, Keeley’s sex tape was revealed for the whole world to see. Unfortunately, when she brought her lawyers and managers in to talk to the owner of the magazine that broke the story, they told her that she had no legal recourse to go after her ex-boyfriend, and the only way to make money off of it was to claim copyright. It was a few months before Kim Kardashian became rich off the leaked sex tape with rapper Ray J.

In season 3 of Ted Lasso, Hazell became a staff writer on the show and utilized this story to help tell Keeley Jones’s story on screen.

When it came to talking about Ted Lasso, Keeley was rightly pissed. She had spent 10 years trying to get starring film roles, when working on Horrible Bosses 2, she met Jason Sudeikis whom she hit it off with and during a shoot, they talked off and on for hours about Keeley’s past and what she was trying to do to make it in LA. Jason and she became friends and when he was developing Ted Lasso for Apple TV, he reached out to her to let her know that he had written a part just for her. The role even shared the same name as Hazell. Unfortunately, they required her to come in for an audition, which meant that she had to fly back to the UK to go and do a screen test with Jason. A week later, she got a call saying that Juno Temple had gotten the role of Keeley Jones.


While shooting season 1, she was asked to come on to play another role, Bex. Bex is the plus one that Jamie invites to come to the gala to bid on him. She ends up going home with Rupert and becomes his new wife by the end of season one, appearing in 7 episodes across 3 seasons. The reason why Keeley was rightfully pissed is that Juno and the rest of the principal cast were winning awards, accolades, and a shitton of money for their work on the show. She was not provided the same luxury of security provided the rest of the cast. If somebody played a version of me and even did the silly accent that wasn’t exactly like mine but more exaggerated, I would definitely be pissed.

The way Keeley starts the book, she tells the reader about the interview she did directly after the sex tape, where she accidentally stated that she was not a feminist, as she believed that feminist meant nudist. She was deeply embarrassed by this fact and went home and read a lot of early feminist writing. It turns out she was, in fact, a true feminist and didn’t even know it.

There is one particular moment that had me cackling. There is a chapter where Keeley talks about her one-time experience with a woman and how she basically ran away from a threesome that she was attempting to participate in after starting to go down on one of the women, stopped, and ran away. I cannot relate to it as I am a raging lesbian. I do feel the same way about going down on cis men! Couldn’t be me.

The book is such a great show of bravery for Hazell to come out and tell her truth. I believe Keeley Hazell is such a great writer, and I can’t wait to see what she comes out with next! I hope she gets to make the film she wrote! This book is so good and a little dark, but it has a lot of good humor to help soften the blow.

I give Everyone’s Seen My Tits 4.5 stars.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Rating: 4.5 out of 5.
Thanks to Hachette Audio for the chance to read this book! I enjoyed it so much! Everyone’s Seen My Tits by Keeley Hazell is out in Print and Digital as well as audio on August 26, 2025.

Yes, the Title Is Iconic, But the Girl Telling the Story? Even More So.

You ever start a memoir thinking you’re in for light celebrity gossip and maybe a saucy behind-the-scenes peek at British tabloid fame, only to be emotionally steamrolled by a woman baring her whole soul with zero filter and the kind of dry wit that could gut a man at fifty paces? That’s "Everyone’s Seen My Tits" by Keeley Hazell. And yes, she narrates it herself. And yes, it sounds exactly like if your funniest, most chaotic friend cornered you at brunch with, “Okay, so you remember that time I accidentally became a sex symbol and then burned my entire life down trying to escape the patriarchy? Pour me a mimosa, babe.”

Here’s the setup: Keeley Hazell was born broke, beautiful, and determined not to let either define her forever. She grew up scraping together chip money in a rough part of London, became a Page 3 model, and spent the next decade watching the world reduce her to her bra size. What the tabloids didn’t show? The humiliation of revenge porn, the inner emotional landmine that is parental trauma, and the brutal, slow-motion disaster of realizing your dream career might never love you back. This book isn’t just her telling us what happened, it’s her telling us exactly how it felt, with an unapologetic mix of rage, humor, and that kind of “I’ve done therapy and it shows” self-awareness that makes her both brutally honest and deeply lovable.

Each chapter hits like a late-night voice memo you weren’t emotionally prepared for. One minute she’s roasting her exes into ash (deserved), the next she’s talking about poverty, shame, or objectification with surgical precision. Her definition of feminism isn’t out of a textbook, it’s earned in the trenches. This isn’t an academic TED Talk, it’s a war cry from a woman who’s been publicly undressed in every way possible and still refuses to disappear. And through it all, she’s funny. Not “teehee” funny, like, sharp, take-no-prisoners, British gallows humor that’ll make you laugh while reeling from the emotional sucker punch she just threw.

The audiobook version, narrated by Keeley herself, adds a whole other layer of intimacy to the experience. It’s not just a reading, it’s a performance. You hear every eye roll, every lump in her throat, every moment where she’s clearly reliving something that still hurts. It’s messy and alive in all the best ways. There are points where she’s clearly furious, and you feel it right in your bones. And then suddenly she’s making you laugh with some absolutely deranged story about teenage chaos or actor rejection, and it’s like emotional whiplash in the best way possible.

And yes, the "Ted Lasso" of it all does come up, but if you’re hoping for a behind-the-scenes love letter to the Apple TV juggernaut, you’re in the wrong pub, babes. This isn’t a “look how great that show is” moment, it’s a reckoning with how strange and painful it is to watch the most public, sanitized version of your life succeed without you. Keeley Hazell doesn’t hate Juno Temple, but she damn well mourns not getting to play the more polished version of herself. And honestly? That grief is earned. Watching someone else become your avatar of redemption has got to be a surreal brand of heartbreak, and she doesn’t shy away from the messiness of that.

But let’s talk about the real twist. For all its grit, trauma, and righteous anger, this memoir is ultimately a story about hope. Reinvention. That weird, beautiful stubbornness to believe you’re more than what the world decided you were. She doesn’t tie it all up in a bow, but she does leave you feeling like she’s still becoming, which somehow feels like the most feminist thing of all.

This was a four-star read that felt like both a confessional and a call to arms. Come for the tits, stay for the emotional catharsis and biting commentary on a culture that loves to devour women and pretend it's empowerment.

Huge thanks to Hachette Audio and NetGalley for the advanced audiobook. Y’all really said, “Wanna spiral into feminist rage while also laughing at one woman’s truly unhinged teenage decisions?” And I said yes. Loudly. With my whole chest.

This is basically a memoir and considering this is a memoir about how trapped Keeley was by her past as a topless model, the subtitle 'stories and reflection from an unlikely feminist' seems quite judgemental. And Keeley's interpretation of feminism is 'interesting'. Apparently (according to the final chapter of this book it's seeing that the system is unfair and doing something about it. I never have an idea what that is, beyond desperately wanting to be an actress.
I struggle to review memoirs, since it's the author's life as they see it. The first half of this book is interesting, outlining how Keeley grew up poor, became a page 3 model, dated bad men and had things happen to her. She shows some insight into her behaviour and actions, although she does seem like a chaos agent, moving through the world in a blur of drama. Then there is a chapter about how outrageous it is that Keeley didn't succeed as an actor. She lists a lot of reasons why, which may be true, but felt like sour grapes. She reads the audio book herself, and by the end of the chapter she is basically shouting at the listener, so angry and frustrated about how unfair the world is.

It is quite well written and maybe I would enjoyed it more as an eye-read, not an audio book. I think I wanted this to be a reception story, and that's not what this is, so I may well have 'wrong read it'.


I received a free audio copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.