This book was not what I was expecting.

At the end of chapter one, it dropped a sales pitch for a pricey “temperament” test.

A chapter or so later, it became a man-bashing episode in which the author blamed men for most of the issues in a marriage, for not realizing women are emotional creatures and encouraging them when they’re throwing fits. Maybe I didn’t get far enough in (I DNFed at 30 percent) to see responsibility for a woman’s own emotions being put on herself too.

Sadly, one example had plenty of space in which to tackle both subjects (I’ve seen it done that way many times before), but the man was the only one on which the responsibility was placed.

Instead of encouraging women not to dump their high-strung emotions on their husbands as soon as they come in from a hard day’s work, it was said, basically, that men should deal with this verbal abuse and then encourage the wife and say she’s done such a great job today.

If she’s dumping on her husband instead of also nurturing him (as was stated to be in women’s nature), then has she really done a great job?

What happened to encouraging women to greet their husbands kindly, give them space to gear down from their own tough day, and then share about her own in a calmer, more pulled-together fashion? I’m an emotional woman myself, but in my thirty-seven years, I have learned that a woman can indeed conquer her emotions if she asks for God’s help and tries to implement the guidance He gives her. She is not solely dependent on a man to resolve this issue for her. In fact, she should be working with God on the issue so she doesn’t have to dump on her man and further complicate his day, which would build more strife in their relationship. I’m not saying things and emotions cannot ever be shared; a woman could read the room and see if her husband’s in a worn-out state or if he’s ready and willing to listen to her problems. Sharing one another’s days (in a calm fashion) is part of the communication that maintains a healthy relationship, but flying off the handle and expecting the man to simply deal with it and then praise you for it is dysfunctional at best.

I’ve definitely heard this example done better before than how it was presented in this book.

Hopefully there is some advice worth taking in this book. But I recommend thinking for yourself as you read it. Also, keep in mind your personality and that of your spouse; some advice and generalities might fit the two of you, while others might not. Use the discretion God has given you.