I received this arc from NetGalley for an honest review. I honestly felt like this book was far too predictable and I only skimmed it as I just could not connect with the story.

Let me preface this review by saying that I listened to this book on audio. I noticed A LOT of complaints about there being a lack of quotations around the dialogue. Since I listened to this one, that wasn't an issue for me. I can't speak on the physical/e-book reading experience.

This book is the story of 15-year-old Mike. Mike is a closeted gay teen who doesn't even really know he's gay until feelings begin to arise when he befriends a basketball player from his school—Sean. Both of these guys come from very religious homes with very strict and misguided parents, thus when they begin a relationship they have to keep it secret from everyone. Not only is this a battle at home, but also in school. Bullying is very much highlighted in this book and that is something I am personally passionate about. Unfortunately, one of these bullies discovers Mike and Sean's relationship and records the two kissing. This guy alerts their parents to this, setting in motion a horrifyingly sad series of events.

**SPOILERS AHEAD!**

Lets talk about the characters! Okay, so, Sean is amazing. He's sweet, caring, and easy-going. I enjoyed his character and found his personality to be realistic and endearing. Mike, however, I struggled with. You see, upon being caught in a gay relationship by his family, he is confronted with the idea of going to a religious "camp" where they basically de-gay you. I struggled with this part of the story and the fact that Mike ends up going there willingly because he feels ashamed. This makes the story seem dated. Who even believes in conversion camps anymore? Ew.

As for side characters, well, I loved Toby. She was Mike's younger sister. The girl was hilarious and I enjoyed her. The parents? Well, they were well-written, but all of them were truly disgusting to me with how they treated their sons. Abomination.

The most impactful part of this book is a death. This hit me very hard and made me cry real tears. I wasn't completely surprised by it, but it left me reeling. This death gives the main character an entirely new look at his current situation and on life in general, so although it was a tragedy, at least something positive came from it.

All in all, this book was moving and beautiful. It was tragic, but important. The characters were well-written and relatable. I enjoyed the storyline and I think the author wrapped up the book nicely. I definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys YA reads or anything LGBTQIA+ themed.

2.5/5 stars

I am unsure how to rate this novel because I have too many mixed emotions about the novel and because I simply don't know if I like this book or not. I hate the trope "bury your gays". I want books where my queer brothers and sisters do not die. I understand that conversion therapy, abuse, and death among queer teens is reality. Trust me, I understand, but these characters deserved more than what they were given.

Not only was the "bury your gays" trope used, but so was every religiously oppressed gay teen trope.

I wanted to love these characters, and I did. I love these boys but this book is tragic and I feel it could potentially be damaging and bleak for young gay readers.

Also the lack of quotation marks irritated me. I don't even like when McCarthy does it.

Really loved the narratives of this one and I really enjoyed the writing that the author brought to the table.