I ended up not enjoying this one. I felt it was just stuck in the negative and I didn't feel like being along for that ride. Also, her family was awful. It left me in a bad mood.

Writing was clear and flowed well but the story itself just kind of glided by for me and never reeled me in.

A not so sad novel after all ! It was intense indeed, but it is not a story upon which I would shed a tear.

In only a couple of chapters, one follows the life of Hunter and his marriage with Kait. Neither of us had a feeling of belonging in their former existence and found their rightful place next to each other. They understand each other without having to talk necessary and their lives are complete together. They keep planning their following years together, trips and house prospects, until the day Kait dies from symptoms that have been ignored for too long.

From this moment on Hunter is lost, nothing makes sens anymore without his wife beside him. His grieving took first the a wandering pattern before turning into a roadtrip. The reader then learns more and more about their relationship through the memories Hunter shares while trying to realize Kait's wishes and dreams. From the East coast to the West coast Hunter finds himself through experiences charming as well as destabilizing.

My reading was very fluid and I liked the author's writing style. The "adventurous" chapters are written at the third person whereas the more "introspective" ones, much shorter, are written at the second person, which really puts the reader into Hunter's shoes, so that he doesn't keep being a stranger whose story is told.

It was really a nice reading - a roadtrip at the same time typical because of the American culture, and atypical in its origin and purpose. Pages were flipping themselves quickly, and I closed the books satisfied and happy, which doesn't happen that often.

Great premise, but it was really difficult to sympathize with the main character. The Magicians has this problem, too, but at least the world around the main character is so fascinating that you can overlook the flaws of the main character. It is so hard to overlook Hunter's flaws to enjoy this book. Then, all of a sudden, he becomes likeable in the last 3 pages of the book. It came out of nowhere and didn't fit with character.

Hunter and Kait have a life; a marriage, a house, and plans for the future. But when Kait unexpectedly dies Hunter is left a widow at 28 and has no idea what to do. Hunter is barely able to function and Kait’s family, who he has never gotten along with, wants to take her away from him. So Hunter does the only thing he can think of, flees on a road trip with Kait's ashes. The trip does not go as planned and Hunter struggles to make sense of the past and find a way to live with everything that has been left undone and unsaid. A story of life and love and surviving a tragedy.

Funny, likable, excellent. What I wouldn't give to be able to write like this.

The first chapter of Tom McAllister’s THE YOUNG WIDOWER’S HANDBOOK is quite possibly one of the most beautiful, romantic things I have ever read. It left me breathless. And not in the euphemistic, overdramatic sort of way. I was actually breathless.

It’s hard to review books like this, books that make you feel so much more than you ever expected to feel. Nothing seems to quite say enough good things about something that was so much more than simply good.

But we have to try so…

THE YOUNG WIDOWER’S HANDBOOKS is the story of Hunter Cady’s journey from slightly aimless young man to devoted husband to grieving widower to slightly more aimless slightly older man.

That summary seems cold and even harsh but it is a proper summary. Hunter wasn’t quite sure where he fit in the world until he met Kait. Kait loved him and he found his place. And then Kait died and Hunter was lost again.

Slightly more romantic summary, yes? Tragic too.

But McAllister tells the story with power and emotional and an intensity that can’t adequately be described secondhand. It’s one of the books where you read it, someone asks how it was and the only good answer is “oh god, you have to read it too!”

Which feels 100% like a cheat on this my book review blog but… what can you do? Oh, I know! Read the book!

This will be my final attempt at telling you about this story…

Kait Cady dies before she turns 30. Left adrift without the one person who made him feel alive, Hunter cannot bring himself let her go in the ways that everyone else thinks he should let her go. So, with her life insurance check in the bank, he takes her ashes on a cross-country trip that they’d meant to take one day. It’s all an attempt to hold onto her, to keep her in his life. That it can never work makes the story all the more heartbreaking and beautiful. That he learns, over the weeks of the trip, that maybe everything wasn’t perfect in their marriage, in their lives makes the story all the more heartbreaking, beautiful, and real. That none of this changes how much he loved her makes the story perfect.

(I received a copy of THE YOUNG WIDOWER’S HANDBOOK through NetGalley and Algonquin books in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts are my own.)

Beautifully written novel about the grieving process. Almost felt like a coming of age story except the protagonist is an adult and has to grow up all over again after losing his wife at a young age. I would disagree with the comparisons to Quick. Other than the fact that both stories take place in South Jersey/Philly area, I don't think a fan of Quick's work would necessarily like this one. I found McAllister's debut novel to be far better written, and I appreciated the lack of gratuitous cursing.

The Short Of It:
A quirky, funny, sad novel that didn't live up to its potential.

The Long Of It:
Hunter Cady is just 29 when the love of his life, his wife Kait, dies unexpectedly, leaving him an all-too-young widower. He's kind of a lovable, bumbling loser to begin with, but Kait's death throws him into a tailspin of despair. He can't help but think of all the things she'll never get to do -- most especially travel the world, something they'd endlessly fantasized about and planned and hashed out for the future.

Aimless, adrift and grieving, Hunter spirits the urn full of Kait's ashes away from her (scary-crazy!) family and embarks on an epic road trip across the United States. I thoroughly enjoyed this part of the book -- Hunter's travels with Kait's urn and his reminisces about their romance and their life together. It was a bit wacky, a bit funny, a bit self-deprecating and a bit heartbreaking.

But after a charming, engrossing first half, the rest of the book fell flat for me and I struggled to finish. Eventually Hunter meets up with a just-out-of-college couple taking a trip along Route 66 with the girl's grandfather -- also grieving a lost wife -- and things went downhill from there. I really couldn't have cared less about the trio, and their adventures just didn't capture my interest like Hunter's solo travel in the first half did. And while the ending was relatively satisfying, it wasn't the big life-changer that the first half of the book felt like it was working up to.

That said, it was still a decent read. It's about the worthy themes of family, love, overcoming grief and getting your shit together -- with some commentary about our social media-obsessed culture thrown in for good measure. And I enjoyed getting to know Hunter and, through his remembrances, the wonderfully flawed Kait. "The Young Widower's Handbook" didn't blow me away, but it wouldn't be a travesty if it ended up in your pile of checkouts at the library.

*I received a free advance copy from the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Given the topic and enormity of the loss depicted, I so wanted to like this book and the main character Hunter Cady. I wanted to marvel at the strength of hope and to cheer for his survival. A journey such as this is often one of healing and self-discovery, but that self-actualization does not seem to happen for Hunter. His journey seems rather to drift from thing to thing, making this not the book for me.

Read my complete review at http://www.memoriesfrombooks.com/2017/02/the-young-widowers-handbook.html

Reviewed for NetGalley

Just couldn't get through this, unfortunately. Abandoned after about 100 pages, found Hunter extremely irritating.

Did not post a review online due to not finishing the book.

I really wanted to like this book as it sounded like it was going to be a bittersweet, emotional read but unfortunately I just really didn’t. By the time I was 60% through I just wanted it to be over and read it really fast just so I could be finished with it. From the get go there was a styling of chapters I really didn’t like, every few chapters the narrative would change to second person and i really hated it. It completely drew me out of the story.

Unfortunately I also couldn’t stand the main character Hunter. I felt for him and for his grief - not to mention his completely awful in laws - but god he was so…pretentious and annoying. He was one of these guys who wanted to be an intellectual so badly, he sucked at all other kinds of jobs and could’t even hold one for an inordinate amount of time. He likes to say he was a writer even though he didn’t actually write anything. i don’t know how Kait could stand him to be honest.

I though Hunter’s journey was going to be one that showed his connection with Kait and his healing and learning how to live without her but the whole thing was more like a very prolonged mental breakdown and was very scattered. It actually made me feel uncomfortable at times because Hunter was so obviously not coping with his grief and seemed be started to suffer from mental illness. Yet no-one seemed to care that much about him. His wife was only dead a little less than eight weeks but his family treated him like crap, except his mom. His dad literally made it out like his road trip was a ‘whim’ rather than a sign of help.

“I have a job, Hunter. I can’t just disappear whenever life becomes inconvenient for me.”

Yes, a father actually said this to his grieving son. WTF? i don’t think him helping with the house near the end absolved him of being an awful dad either.

I just didn’t connect with this book and didn’t like the main character. I don’t think he’s someone i could deal with in real life, so could not deal with him in the pages either. There were some nice things in this book such as the real descriptions of Kait. I liked how Hunter acknowledged her anxiety and her bouts of depression, and didn’t hide them away but let them add to the ways he thought she was perfect. I also like how some of the things he missed about her were some realistic things, not just ‘the way the sun made her eyes glow’ or something poetic like that but the way she always missed a spot when she was shaving, or always saved him a bit of food left in any package she was eating. I liked that.

While this book did’t connect with me, I’m pretty sure others will get on with it better.

At the age of 29, Hunter’s wife dies due to complications of an ectopic pregnancy. Widowed at such a young age, having been with his wife for nearly eight years, Hunter is at a loss. He’s never quite known what to do with himself, who he wanted to be, what he wanted out of life, other than to be with his wife. Now that she’s gone, he must figure out life on his own, but first he has to process the loss. So, he embarks on a cross country trip to see all the places that he and his wife had talked about visiting, and along the way, he finds a little direction.

How I wanted to love this book. The concept was intriguing, and the idea of Hunter traveling to find himself spoke (screamed!) to my inner wanderer. But the truth is, I didn’t like Hunter much. He was one of those people who drifts through life, lucky to always find himself surrounded by people who work hard, so he doesn’t have to any more than the bare minimum. Not that he’s lazy in the sense that he doesn’t pick up after himself, etc. He has no vision or drive. The only thing he really cares about is his wife.

To be fair, I did wonder if he suffered from some level of depression. Not due to the death, but just in general. As he reflects on his past, I felt like maybe he was functionally depressed, self-medicating with pot (which is the opposite of what you should do), just sort of dragging himself through life with no real interest or investment in it. But I’m no therapist, so maybe there are just a subset of people who don’t find anything about life remotely interesting or worthwhile. That in and of itself is pretty depressing.

Anyhow, the truth is, I didn’t feel like there was this big paradigm shift or self-discovery at the end of it all. Nothing super exciting happens on his journey. He’s really just blindly traveling around the country searching for something he never really seems to find. Perhaps that makes it less trite, less formulaic than other “travel to find yourself” themed books, but I found it disappointing.

So, it’s a little meh for me. I might try the author again, but I can’t say that I really recommend the book.

Incredible! Loved every second of this book.

Will be recommending

I was really looking forward to THE YOUNG WIDOWER’S HANDBOOK by Tom McAllister. That is mostly due to his story about the original idea and how the book was written; see the set of previews from Algonquin, available through Net Galley. However, Hunter Cady simply could not cope with his wife, Kait's death. I did feel very sad and sorry for Cady, but I also was really frustrated while waiting for him to act like an adult. I understand that he was grieving, but it was difficult to accept his efforts to blame everyone else. I sincerely hope that McAllister – who is a talented writer – finds a sunnier topic and shares his thoughts with us.

“Grief begins as a temporary condition, but left untreated it becomes a permanent sickness.”

Hunter Cady is a man with a severe case of arrested development. Lucky for him, he landed the perfect wife who was willing to be the grown-up in their relationship while Hunter worked a crap job at the local car rental agency while telling white lies of how he’s a “writer.” But then . . . . .

“none of that matters anymore because she’s dead and she’s dead and she’s dead and she’s dead and she’s dead and she’s never coming back.”

When Kait dies suddenly at 29 before the two have even had a chance to really begin their lives together, Hunter has no idea how he will ever survive without her. Rather than facing his new reality, Hunter (and Kait) embark on a road trip where he hopes to find the answers to who he is supposed to be and in what part of America he should be that person.

I requested this from NetGalley as quick as my fat little fingers could click as soon as I saw the synopsis. Road trippin’ with an urn! Is that a Kelly and Mitchell guaranteed win or what? Somewhere there is a blurb stating this is a sure-to-love selection for fans of Matthew Quick and Jonathon Tropper . . . but since I’m an idiot I can’t find it now. However, being that I am an expert at all things Quick and Tropper, I’d say there’s about a 50/50 shot you’ll hate this if you go in expecting something like their stuff because Tom McAllister’s voice is completely his own. While Hunter is a loser much like Quick and Tropper’s characters – he’s not very loveable and that was A-okay with me. Given enough time I find most humans end up being not very loveable so I appreciated that Hunter owned his worthlessness right from the start. If I had to compare this story to any other it would be The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving. Not only did the two books have a road trip in common, but Hunter remind me of a young Benjamin Benjamin and the tone of each was melancholy (of which I am a giant fan).

If you are of the same ilk as me, you may appreciate this little downer of a tale too. McAllister hit this one nearly out of the ballpark for me. Even the stuff I’d seen before was done with a fresh take. Since (1) this was his debut and (2) he looks to be about 14 years old there’s a solid chance this author will earn all 5 Stars from me before all is said and done because I’m telling you, this child can W.R.I.T.E. . . . . .

“There is romance and then there is love and although they’re related to each other, they are not the same thing. Romance is temporary, predicated on countless variables working synchronously to create something memorable that vaguely recalls a scene from a familiar movie; it’s perhaps a step on the way to love, or a reaffirmation of love, or maybe it’s just a single beautiful moment with no meaning beyond itself. Love, it’s this other thing, a thing that manifests itself in the most unremarkable moments. It’s there without having to assert itself.”

(^^^^I went rogue and totally quoted the quotes even though this was an advanced copy – Please note I read the not-final work product so this is subject to change. But I think if it does, it’s still pretty much a given it’ll be great.)

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, NetGalley!

Hunter loses his wife Kait at a very early age. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to her. They had so many plans for things to do before they settled down to start a family. So many places they wanted to visit. So when she died suddenly, he was devastated and did what probably everyone wants to do when they can't face things. He runs away. I say runs away, he actually takes Kait (in ashes form) on holiday. A road trip around the US having spun his globe to decide where to go. This book follows his adventure as he sees the sights, revisits old haunts, meets interesting people, all the time updating his progress, with pictures, on social media garnering interesting comments from friends and family. All the time avoiding his rather dysfunctional in-laws and his own family.
Well, this book sounds very morbid but, like the film Grace is Gone, that morbidity often takes second place to the shenanigans that Hunter finds himself in. There are some quite funny parts in this book too and also a lot of tender, heart wrenching moments. I really went through the whole spectrum of emotions whilst reading it. No one should ever tell someone else how to cope with death, how to grieve. It is a completely personal experience and here, although Hunter's reaction could be considered extreme. I personally think it is brave. Going against what is expected but friends and family and simply doing what's right for him to get through this time. Yes, he did a lot of strange things, got himself into scrapes that he really could have avoided but, at the same time, came across as human and, as such, flawed. What started out as potentially the start of his breakdown turned into a voyage of discovery. Through people he met, things he saw and experienced, he started to be able to close that chapter of his life leaving me as a reader lots to thinks about as I followed him on this journey.
This is another debut author who is going on my watch list. Although this book didn't blow me away completely, it was a good solid read that still, 7 days later, has me thinking about it. I am very interested in seeing what he follows up with for his second book.

My thanks go to the Publisher and Netgalley for the chance to read this book.

Poor Hunter Cady. His wife died way too soon and he just wasn't ready. When he got Kait's ashes the only thing he could think of was the trips and vacations that they dreamed about and that had never happened. So, a day or two after he received her ashes he spun the globe that she had bought him before he died. A present which he had found gift wrapped for an occasion three months away. He spun it 5 times and all 5 times it landed on the United States. That made up his mind. You can't really see the world until you really know your home country. He loaded up his car, put Kait's ashes in the passenger seat next to him and headed west.

Meanwhile his in-laws are leaving messages on his phone that they want their daughter/sister back and are threatening to go to the police. Never mind that Kait and her mother didn't really have a great relationship.

The people and activities that happen on this journey are absolutely hilarious and outlandish. He is still receiving threatening phone calls from his in-laws (one that shows his house where they have broke in and trashed the place). His parents are giving him grief and at one time his dad even flies out to bring him home. At one point, he even loses Kait.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book, while parts of it were sad, the journey Hunter took was a testament of a great love. Remembering bits and pieces of their lives together showing how hard it was for him to let her go. Truly a love for the ages, an enjoyable read which I am so glad I got the chance.

Huge thanks to Algonquin Books for approving my request and to Net Galley for providing me with a free e-galley in exchange for an honest review.