This book was so easy to read and didn't want to put it down. Refreshing storyline that had you intrigued from the first page. Fabulous read.

The story of Milly, a troubled teenager who is dreadfully abused by her mother. She summons up the courage to give evidence against her and is taken into foster care, somewhat unbelievably, by her therapist and his family. Things, predictably, are not all they seem and things do not go well for Milly, or indeed the rest of the family she is staying with. Many of the characters are flawed by past events and lead a troubled existence. Which is then reflected in their behaviour. The book is fast paced and easy to read. Despite some of the characters doing awful things, one can't help but feel a little sympathy for them.

I received an ARC copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

It’s been a little while since I’ve stayed up late to read a book. With Good Me Bad Me, exactly that happened. I started at exactly 8pm on a weekday, thinking I’d read for an hour or so in bed before I fell asleep.

Fast forward 80% of the book and I look up thinking it’s around 11pm, when it was really 2am. Oops. Cue a very broken night’s sleep, snoozing the alarm around 5 times before I could drag myself out of bed, and a day full of yawns, coffee, and deadlines to meet when all I want to do is finish the book.

The premise here is brilliant; a girl brought up by a serial killer breaks free, but how much has her time with her mother affected her personality? It’s the nature vs nurture argument taken to extremes.

Though formulaic (I’d be extremely surprised if you don’t guess the ending within the first 30%), Good Me Bad Me was an easy and entertaining read. My only quip is the way the copy was written. Don’t get me wrong, the stunted prose Land uses to display her emotionally-broken and damaged mind was clever. It was just overdone.

This was never going to be a work of literary art but it’s good read for the commute into work or to kick you out of a reading slump.

OMG talk about a page turner. This book had me hooked from the off and I devoured it. Page after page I raced through it hoping it would end well. I love psychological thrillers but have never read one about child abuse and murder. As this is a debut from Ali Land she should be very proud. Her writing style is taut and the story is well paced. Milly and her foster parents, Mike and Saskia, leap off the page. In her role as narrator Milly struggles to come to terms with her own abuse, the abuse she witnessed and her mother's insidious influence and this taps into your compassion. But then there is always that nagging feeling that all may not be as it appears. Despite the thankfully low incidence of female child abusers and murderers this story is all too believable. Thanks to Netgalley and Penguin Michael Joseph for the ARC.

I loved this book, its a roller coaster of emotions! Its a book that you will always remember and that you will be thinking about for a long time after you have read it. Its a must read for anyone this year.

Terrific

This book is the sort that torments you with the persistent question: are you the product of your upbringing, your nurture, or the product of your genes? I used to have a teacher who once said that she hoped that we, her students, were products of our environment because otherwise her teaching would be, for the most part, pointless. I remember thinking of the huge implications of her words: if we are, in fact, a result of our nature so many of us stand no chance. This is what I especially liked about this book, and what made it as controversial as it was: Milly was brought up terribly, and her mother has severe psychopathic tendencies and raised Milly with a dangerous kind of 'love'. While her environment can change, she's pretty much screwed either way.

This book follows the life of Milly (real name: Annie), she's fifteen, and all her life she's lived with a psychopath of a mother. Her mother is a nurse who used her position to lure children into her home, by establishing the trust of their parents and families. So far, she's killed nine children. It would have continued had it not been for Milly's decision to report her mother's crimes to the police. This certainly qualifies as a high profile case.

Now, this is when the story becomes interesting, in a terrifying sort of way. Milly has to go to court and stand as witness against her mother. To ease the process she is placed in a foster family and is introduced to a new school environment. Her foster father, Mike, is a huge help especially considering he's a psychologist, and he's using Milly to further his career: he has plans to write a book about her. Saskia, her foster mother, is mostly in the background. Then there's the daughter or foster sister, Phoebe, who immediately dislikes Milly for the way she takes up her father's time.

All through the book we observe Milly's personal behaviour, we hear her thoughts, how she begins to believe there's something corrupt living within her, something dark, something from her mother. She still hears her mother's words, often encouraging her to hurt her new friend, or lie, or manipulate the situation. Pushing her to make her mummy proud. We see her tackle the voices with strong willpower, but perhaps she enjoys her mother's plans more than she lets on?

When reading the book, I felt as though I were part of the jury - in on the action, trying to figure out the truth. I was intrigued, I couldn't help reading on (like that feeling you get when you're doing something or hearing something not meant for your ears). But, at the same time I felt I was her. Like, I understood where she was coming from. This is a book that captures you completely.

Though I have to say what really kept me immersed in the story wasn't just the plot, it was the writing. The subtle word choices that hinted that there's more to come, how they had me thinking the worst every time, imagining all sorts of scenarios and plot twists. Still, I have to say the ending was hugely unpredictable. Many readers may also appreciate how Ali Land writes in the perspective of Milly throughout the book, there's no shifting of perspectives. This is something I had forgotten my strong preference for, it meant that we had access to Milly's thoughts throughout. It meant the character was massively developed, in a way that revealed the different facets to her personality. The story's focus was her throughout, and with the ending it seems that the attention Mike is paying her has gotten to her head: she has other ideas in mind. No doubt, she'd be keeping his book interesting.

I think that there's potential for a sequel.

I received this book through NetGalley.

great book.. wanted to read it but didnt at the same time but glad i did. uncomfortable as you would expect with the storyline however unputdownable.

Annie's mother is a serial killer and she witnessed things that no child should ever have to. Her mother killed children and Annie was powerless to help them. At the age of 15, she couldn't deal with it anymore and tells the police about her mother's crimes.
She is sent to live with a foster family and her name is changed. She is now known as Milly and her mother's case is about to go to trial.
Brilliantly written, a little too harrowing for me in places but I can definitely see why this book is going to be huge. One most definitely to recommend. My thanks to the publisher & NetGalley for this advance reader copy.

The age old question arises in Good Me, Bad Me. Does nurture win over nature? Can the environment change what years of nature have defined and formed?

It’s actually quite interesting that Annie has become Milly. In a way the two names and identities are a symbol for the two sides warring within her.

Annie represents the old life, the life filled with abuse, pain and killing. Milly represents the new life, a family with no ties to her dark past and the possibility of a normal life.

I have to admit I wanted Bad Me to come out to play more often when it came to Phoebe. After all those dark years with her mother Milly is then subjected to the horrors of high school bullying. On a level, which would break even the hardest of people. Good Me tries really hard to keep Annie at bay, but ultimately she peeps out now and again to defend herself.

Throughout the book we see Milly struggle with her emotions. She is happy to finally be free of the horror and yet at the same time her greatest desire is to see her mother again. Is that evidence of her inner conflict and her inability to comprehend the destructive nature of their relationship or is it an indication of something more nefarious?

What Land does really well is make the reader feel sympathy for someone who might not be worthy of it, but then the world isn’t really made of black or white scenarios. It’s the shading and the grey that makes for the unusual exceptions in life. Milly is most certainly an exception to the rule.

The other aspect Land excels at is the question of guilt. To what degree is Annie the victim and to what degree is she as guilty as her mother? Will the child raised by an abuser and killer possibly follow the same path in life or will she gladly settle into obscurity and a normal life.

This book will probably make readers sit on the fence and watch with bated breath as the story unfolds, and yet in the end they still might not be able to decide whether Good Me or Bad Me wins. I know who I am rooting for and it probably isn’t the one you think it is or the one I should be rooting for.

Well done to the author for the fascinating read.
*Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for my copy of Good Me, Bad Me.*

‘But the hearts of small children are delicate organs. A cruel beginning in this world can twist them into curious shapes.’

Well this was certainly a psychological thriller that packed quite the punch. It felt unique and the writing was compellingly different, short and sharp sentences where every punctuated word hits you hard. Harrowing, disturbing, chilling and haunting. Nothing detailed, most left unsaid, yet the simplicity of the thought provoking words conjuring up a thousand pictures of a horrific childhood, a parental serial killer and a heart-breaking tragedy. The imagination runs rampant.

‘The word ‘no’ lodges in my throat, won’t launch. Can’t say it, doesn’t work anyway. No meant yes, meant you always got what you wanted. Took it anyway.’

Human conditioning through violence and pain. Your empathy will be questioned as you try to lend support to a girl’s fight against the emotional grip from the only parent she has. Mummy dearest….chills run up the spine. A mother’s love which disregards everything good, decent and loving.

“How come no one knew what she was doing?” “She was clever. Spectacular.” “In what way?” “People liked her, trusted her. She knew how to fool them.”

Twisted, daring and through provoking, this is a must read for anyone who loves to read with one eye open. Milly’s voice will shock you, it’ll frighten you, and it’ll break your heart. It’s a voice that reflects every second, minute, hour, day, week, year she’s spent being frightened and forced to play a part from the strong hold of her Mum’s terrorising ways. Milly’s voice questioning, conflicted, separated into good and bad- in her own words. Trying to be different to everything she’s known. Trying to desperately find normality in a world in which she feels lost, lonely and isolated. Human compassion and understanding up against everything that came before. Trying to grasp at any human decency and contact she possibly can. Is everything as it seems?

‘I welcome the contact. I am real. See me, feel me, but know that I come from a place where this is merely a warm-up.’

Bravo Ali Land- this debut novel set in London ticks every box for originality. An intriguing chilling account by a teenage girl brought up in a house of horror. This is a story that’ll be discussed and dissected till the early hours of the morning.

‘I can do this, I can do life after you.’

Great debut thriller. Annie was an intriguing character, and building her into the general bitchiness of high school life was a stroke of genius. Having lived through years of abuse and murder, dealing with Queen Bee mean girls was just as hard work!

Even though I had guessed the two main twists, it didn't detract from what was a good story, well told.

I would like to thank Netgalley & Penguin UK for my ARC in exchange for a fair and honest review

Good Me Bad Me is a story about 15 year old Milly. Who's mother is a serial killer and her victims are young children. The book follows Milly as she starts living a new life with a new foster family. She encountering the horrors of being the new girl at school, being bullied by her foster sister as well as preparing for her mother imminent trial as the main witness.
I won't say too much more as I feel it may spoil the story which is a thoroughly gripping but at the same time highly disturbing. Thankfully, the author didn't go into much details with regards to the children's suffering. It is an excellent story, really well written, so I would wholeheartedly recommend.

Good Me Bad Me - Ali Land


I have a feeling this book is going to be HUGE this year. It's unnerving, uncomfortable & undeniably beautifully written.
Annie's mother is a serial killer. Annie is given a new name & a new identity - Milly. She must live with her secret & a new family until it is her time to testify.
Integrating within her foster family, torn loyalties to her birth mother and keeping her identity a secret makes for a tense and twisty backdrop for this story.
I won't lie, this book made me incredibly uncomfortable. I think anything where a chilling child killer plays a role is going to be difficult reading. I don't think there's a single character that I liked and sometimes that feels odd as a reader. I think we're so used to aligning with our heroes & rooting for the good guys. In Good Me Bad Me it's difficult to know exactly WHO the good guys are. This is credit to Ali Land's brilliant writing.

Annie/Milly is so creepy, but her perspective is unique, fascinating and keeps you gripped throughout.
This will be a big book in 2017. Four cwtches. Order your copy here.

I thought this was an excellent psychological thriller. I wasn't sure about it from the description, but it grabbed me from the start and never let me go.

The book is narrated by 15-year-old Mille, who, in the first couple of pages, finally turns her monstrously abusive and murderous mother in to the police. We get Millie's account of her fostering by a psychologist, his wife and daughter who is Millie's age and who give her a home in the lead-up to her mother's trial. The story emerges gradually and very skilfully and I wouldn't want to know much more than that before I began the book. There are a lot of familiar-sounding tropes here: damaged teenage girl, bitchy, bullying schoolmates, survivor guilt and so on, but Ali Land does it all so well that it felt fresh, and the story holds some significant surprises.

Millie's voice is excellently done, so that the whole thing is very readable and I was utterly gripped by it. I thought it was an exciting, intelligent read and I can recommend it very warmly.

(I received an ARC via Netgalley.)

Loved this book. Huge praise for Ali Land - Good Me Bad Me had me gripped from the very first page and left me with the biggest book hangover! Excellent!

A really powerful book about a child in a psychotic household, and her time while her mother is on trial. The book takes some unexpected turns and leaves you a little chilled.

I read this book in one sitting. It was fabulous! Have to admit, the book was a bit scary at times and you didn't see the ending coming - shocking!

Annie's mother is a serial killer. The only way she can make it stop is to hand her in to the police. But out of sight is not out of mind. As her mother's trial looms, the secrets of her past won't let Annie sleep, even with a new foster family and name - Milly. A fresh start. Now, surely, she can be whoever she wants to be. But Milly's mother is a serial killer. And blood is thicker than water. Good me, bad me. She is, after all, her mother's daughter.
This is one hell of a novel. I was compelled to keep reading until the early hours of the morning. The tension ratchets up as Millie/Annie gets closer to the time of her mother’s trial. But it’s not just that that Millie is battling with. It’s her upbringing and her genes that make her doubt herself, miss her mother while at the same time hating her. She feels guilty for not doing more sooner, if she had perhaps less children would have died. But she also realises that mother taught her lessons that she can now use to her advantage. By turns emotional and shocking, this really is a tour de force of a psychological novel. I loved the short, sharp writing style. In fact I loved everything about this novel. A fantastic read!

As a thriller fan nothing gets me going as much as reading or seeing something I haven’t read or seen before. Admittedly this can be quite a task for an author since thriller novels and films abound, with new ones coming out seemingly every day. So when I saw Good Me Bad Me I was immediately intrigued by the blurb which promised all the right things. And I’m very happy to say that Land did not disappoint. Good Me Bad Me is both a gripping read and a book that will make you think. Thanks to Michael Joseph and Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

‘But the hearts of small children are delicate organs. A cruel beginning in this world can twist them into curious shapes.’
Carson McCullers (1917-1967)

This is the quote that starts the book and, in many ways, sets the tone. At the centre of this novel is the question of Annie/Milly’s heart and what is in it. The nature vs. nurture debate has spawned not only dozens of academic discussions but also a whole range of literature. Humanity is fascinated with whether it is, at the core, intrinsically good, or if there is an innate ‘bad me’ which is only waiting to come out. Philosophers such as John Locke have argued for the child being a ‘tabula rasa’, a clean slate, upon which external influences start acting from the moment of its birth. So was it the belief of Rousseau that warfare and aggression are learned, and not innate. We find traces of these arguments in novels such as Jane Eyre in which Lady Blanche speaks of children with ‘bad blood’. Even Harry Potter addresses this when Dudley’s aunt monologues about how ‘if there’s something wrong with the bitch, there is something wrong with the pup’. What makes the latter of the two examples fascinating, and relevant, is that they seem to argue for a combination between nature and nurture. There is something of ‘bad me’ that is simply in all of us, in our blood, yet nurture has a major role to play in bringing it out. This cross-section within the debate lies at the heart of Good Me Bad Me. It explores to what extent evil is something that works upon us or from within us, whether bad things that have happened to us can make us do bad things too, or whether we secretly wanted to do those bad things all along.

Good Me Bad Me is filled with women of all ages and most walks of life. Evil serial killers are usually played by men in films or TV shows, with the rare female killer appearing as an extra special, scary treat. Very often her crimes are either sexual or against children, and in the worst cases the two are combined. It is this fear of evil women which fascinates me and which Land also cleverly picks up on throughout Good Me Bad Me. There is an almost blind trust in women to be maternal and caring, to want to protect children and to not be aggressive or violent. It’s the Feminine Ideal which has somehow survived into the 21st century and still makes it hard for women to talk about things such as Post-Natal Depression, the desire to not have children or the aggressive traits in our own personalities. Because of this ideal, the thought of a woman who goes against all this has always been fascinating and is present in a lot of literary and cinematic tropes. She is in the Femme Fatale, in the Last Girl, in the Virgin/Whore dichotomy. Good Me Bad Me addresses some of the points that arise from this combined fear and fascination with evil women and does so through a varied cast of female characters. There are the teenage girls, violently obsessed with their own lives and almost negligently cruel to each other. There are the mothers who care too much or not enough, those for whom motherhood is a challenge but don’t dare admit it. There are the women and girls who use what they have to get what they want, and those who want and give, but never get.

Land’s world is not a pleasant one, but to a large extent it is a very honest one. It has become something of a trend to write about “complicated women”, but often these books lose all the nuance that is so crucial to them. Novels such as Gone Girl are simplified down to “the good housewife is actually a psycho, beware of all women” and are thereby crucially misunderstood. Naturally thrillers and crime novels are sensationalist in a sense, but they also address significant issues around how men and women are seen and see themselves. Good Me Bad Me strikes a very good balance between following the genre’s knack for the terrifying as well as giving some insight into the minds of the people it is serving up to the reader. Land throws in enough twists that both engender sympathy for all the characters, while also making a sword out of that sympathy. In the end Good Me Bad Me won’t tell you who is good and who is bad, it will give you enough material, however, to come to your own conclusions with your own justifications as to why.

Land’s writing throughout the novel is superb. First person narratives are always tricky and very often do not work. Not only does an author need to create a consistent voice for their narrator, that voice also has to change and develop throughout the story. In the case of thrillers or crime novels the extra task is added that the narrator on the one hand shouldn’t give too much away, but on the other hand also needs to reveal enough to keep the reader engaged. There is a very good reason as to why Good Me Bad Me had to be written in first person. Annie/Millie is the sole focus of this novel, it is her psyche, her mind, that is under the microscope, so to say. The way in which Land writes Millie, how she breaks up sentences, constructs thoughts and gives shape to internal processes is fascinating and really draws the reader into Millie’s mind. There is something fractured and hard, yet also vulnerable about the writing of the book which gives the reader a constant glimpse at what’s in Millie’s mind, even the things she herself would rather not know about.

I absolutely loved Good Me Bad Me. I raced through it, not only because I was desperate to know what would happen but also because Land gives you no choice but to hurdle along until the bitter end. I’d recommend this to fans of Psychological Thrillers and Crime Novels.