Cover Image: Mastering Civility

Mastering Civility

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Member Reviews

In my opinion this book should go much deeper. This book goes with the trend in self-dev books I call "one subject rules all" - here, the subject being civility. I think with approach to trying to cover all the fasets of all things civility it is easy to fall into the temptation of scratching only the surface with the questions of "why" (things are the way they are) and "how" (to change them) et cetera.
But if we as a society needs to be more civil, what does that mean? Covers civility also values, honesty, hard work, selflessness, positive thinking, courage to change and more? Fair play, humbleness and manners?

Because all that "civility" covers now has been covered before in various sources from Bible and other spiritual texts through many philosophers' works to what your mother had to say about your behaviour in kindergarten.

Civility is also such an non-offensive term, which can harm no one, right? Yes, and its non-offensiveness also means no burning, provoking discussions and no creativity.

The book offers some good data and quite good resources. Also some tips are quite workable.
But my advice would be to use it as a starter to your thinking process and to go to deeper sources, too.

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Have you even been accused of being overly blunt, rude or condescending a lá House M.D. ? Then this might just be the book for you...Simply put, Christine Porath's Mastering Civility examines how being civil in the workplace can drive better personal and organisational performance. She argues the incivility is driven by a number of factors including globalisation and technology but ignorance is at the crux of the matter.
She talks about the importance of psychological safety-the feeling that the team's working environment is trusting, respectful and safe place to take. According to a study, one organisation's psychological safety increased by 35% when people offered a suggestion civilly as compared to uncivilly (i.e. an interaction marked by inconsiderate interruption). This took me back to some of my own episodes when I was the condescending colleague and my co-worker had to put me in check. She reminded me of the importance of giving helpful criticism and telling with a light touch versus being hurtful.

I was glad to know that there is a plethora of evidence that shows that " good guys and girls" can win the workplace even in industries that are considered cutthroat like law and finance. The bottom line is that quantifiable results are important for any organisation but people do not want to work with people who are considered uncivil and unpleasant. One of the consistent and interesting examples is of multimedia financial services company Motley Fool's corporate culture that has embedded the importance of knowing people across the organisation and how this has boosted the working environment.

Throughout the book, Porath refers to numerous studies that help to drive the point across. She gives pointers for those who bear the brunt of incivility by advising that they should prioritise themselves and their future. Meaning that, the only thing that one can control is themselves and their inner being and not other people's actions. She goes further to recommend how "victims" can handle such episodes. My main takeaway from the book was the importance of self-awareness and constantly evaluating one's emotional quotient (EQ) especially in the workplace. In addition, help is always available in terms of career coaching and even consider therapy, which is no longer a taboo issue.

I would recommend this book for anyone who is keen on improving their corporate culture or a newly appointed manager who is keen on making a positive impact in his jurisdiction. It is good reminder that results-based performance is not just about what you do but also how you do things. So be weary of being insensitive, abrasive or leading-by-bullying. Your co-workers may fail to share important information or withhold efforts and resources especially when uncivil leaders least expect it.

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