The Sea Is Quiet Tonight: A Memoir by Michael H. Ward [Publisher‏: ‎Quenelle Press - ‎[ November 1, 2016]

I was asked to review this book shortly after it was published. I declined because I knew the author for many years. I knew this would influence my review of this book.

I have been asked to review it on many occasions. I am doing so at this time since Mr. Ward passed in 2020. He was born on 07/01/1944 and he died on 07/30/2020 [MICHAEL WARD Obituary (1944 - 2020) - Brookline, MA - Boston Globe].

This memoir is credited with adding more depth to the AIDS crisis of 1981 and a reminder that LGBTQ+, was afflicted during this pandemic but not responsible for it.

Ward achieves this though a microscopic prism of a souring relationship about to end until Mark is diagnosed with AIDS. Daily life changes as the relationship begins due to this diagnosis.

Ward is enthusiastic about his honesty in this relationship. The journey of both men echoes and parallels that of the larger society as it searches for compassionate, unbiased medical care for unbiased medical and societal personnel.

This is not an easy journey as shown by the day-to-day small renewals and dark declines.

Mike’s unwillingness to stay in the relationship prior to Mark’s diagnosis proves the same unwillingness of societal response to depose and dispose of various groups accused of creating and abetting AIDS.

Mark is clear that Mike has stability before he passes. Mike buys a condominium which can be a metaphor for the scaffolding that was needed to find the cause and successful treatment of patients with AIDS.

Once Mike makes a firm commitment, he does all that he can to help Mark. At this time, Mike was actively working with clients. He is not kind to his clients in this book as he is unaware through their questions that they are simultaneously concerned and frightened by this biological and societal insult experienced by Mike’s therapeutic interventions.

Mark’s friends did not see the usefulness of publishing this memoir. That may be ironically correct as one needs to read it to make that assertion.

Mike stays loyal to Mark’s family with yearly visits to Marks every January. Mike and Mark’s love went beyond philia to an embrace to the quiet sea. Mike is soothed by the calm and quiet sea as well when he leaves this world.

At first I wasn't sure how I felt about this book, it reads very much like a novel, in the sense that events from over 30 years ago are described with clarity it almost feels like a story, not a memory. It took a little while to get used to the style but by the end, I was enthralled and read most of the book over a day.
It's obviously a sad story, but it's an important story, one of strength and love and loss and a reminder of what the previous generation of lgbt+ people went through and the work they did so that we could have it a little easier. HIV and AIDS still carry such stigma, but it no longer means certain death or a quick and terrible death and a lot of people lost their lives in the fight to understand this virus and how to treat it. It's important to remember them and not just that they died, but that they lived.

A very open, honest and touching memoir.

A very emotional read about the loving relationship of Mark and Mike and the turmoil of the AIDS epidemic of the early 80's, the sad decline in Marks health and his eventual death.

Such a beautiful heartbreakingly sad story to read....

A heart-felt moving story of love in the time of the Aids epidemic in the 1980s. While their relationship wasn't always smooth sailing, the book remains a loving ode and remembrance to a lover, as well as an evocation of a time and place, before ARVs, before hope, a time of immense fear.

It's hard to say I "enjoyed" this book as it is a memoir of the AIDS crisis. It is sad and dripping with love and loss but not maudlin or exploitative. Michael Ward tells an honest story of his relationship with his boyfriend Mark. Their families are described and the whole period is beautifully and heartbreakingly described. It isn't a lightweight or easy read but it is vital that we do not forget this pain or these people and Mr Ward captures it all with searing honesty.

I was given a free copy of this book by Netgalley in return for an honest review.

This was a bit sad, a bit bittersweet, and a lot beautiful. The author chronicles the AIDS epidemic as he looses friends and his partner. This subject matter is very special to me. In the 90's I interned at an AIDS hospice and these men and their lives had such an impact on me.

In a world of Prep and other medications, I don't think this younger generation really understands the nightmare world of the 80's and 90's. I think this is an important story to tell and an important story for people to read.


**review copy provided through Netgalley**

5 helms
Please follow me on my blog :) Review originally posted on Vellum Voyages (www.vellumvoyages.com)


Love and death. For a generation of gay men, love and death were inextricably intertwined. To love, in the ages of AIDS, was to mourn. - Mitchell Katz, M.D

This is Michael Ward's and Mark Halberstadt's story- a chronicle of two gay men, their love for one another and how their lives become affected by the HIV epidemic in the 1980s. Michael (Mike) and Mark meet at a beach house on Fire Island and what follows is a love story with the spice of different personalities, varying ambitions and the harsh realities of everyday life. Mike the realist and a psychotherapy therapist and Mark the dreamer, a former teacher with aspirations to sail for a living and own his own boat, have much more on their plate when their love is challenged not just by the everyday but by Mike's diagnosis of AIDS. Suddenly, everything seems petty when death is just around the corner...

Plain, honest, simple and yet powerful and heartbreaking writing.To be caught in such a maelstrom of an epidemic and to watch your partner suffer despite being surrounded by the best healthcare in a powerful nation would have been one of the hardest things to undergo and my heart went out to Mike. This book allows us perspective on how love and life can be two separate entities and on how quickly we have to grow up in adversity despite being adults. I hope this book has allowed Mike to heal, as it is not only a beautifully moving tribute to Mark but also an eye opener for those of us who weren't there.

All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them - Isak Dinesen

*Thank-you Michael H. Ward, Netgalley & Querelle Press for the RC.

Heart breaking and funny by equal measure . A terrible time for many who showed true courage and strength in fighting for those they loved . This has been written with honesty and pulls no punches , I was in tears many times .

I have chills! As someone who grew up in the 80's in NYC and spent hours attending activism rallies with my parents, Ward gives a precise and accurate recount of the life during that time.

The story is about love, illness, and memories. Eloquently written, poetic prose. Nice pacing, great detail to secondary characters. A must read for the genre!