This book had me guessing the whole way through. At times I didn't know what was real and what was not. I loved this book, will recommend to all

Sorry - I could not finish this book. The writing was fine, but the plot line was not for me. I can handle 'ugly characters and story lines, but I do need a little hope/lightness somewhere. This was just too ugly, with unlikable characters and little hope for redemption. My apologies but it was just too depressing.

Describing one of the characters as a somewhat hesitant or bumbling speaker created a story with incomplete or broken sentences, at times confusing the flow of the story. The story overall was just okay but a smoother flow of the story would have made for better reading, although it may have detracted from the character of the father. It portrays a very dysfunctional family with a tragic past now living a mysterious present, still dysfunctional and drug induced disillusionment of at least one of the main characters. An interesting read but lack of continuity just too much of a distraction. Note also it is a difficult read on an e-reader as some pages had some very small print.

As a straightforward mystery, Ill Will left me wanting more. The novel really is less about the murders (then and now) and more about the characters, their motivation, and certainly their capacity for self-delusion. For the longest time, I was confused because I couldn't figure out what the main story was--or the point. Perhaps that's why the story seemed to creep along . . . That and the fact that I really did not care for one of the narrators. But perhaps that's yet another example of skillful character creation on the author's part.

Despite these "issues," I appreciated the author's experimentation in the style and form of the novel. Reading an e-book made certain elements--specifically, multiple perspectives presented simultaneously in a multi-column format--difficult to follow, and I'm not entirely sure what was happening in those sections. Ultimately, however, the book made me think and reflect on the characters and the story long after I put it down. Perhaps part of my initial dissatisfaction was actually discomfort that arose from inhabiting the lives of these not-entirely-likable characters.

The book was a literary train wreck that I couldn't help but watch--and I suspect that I would appreciate it even more with subsequent readings. Not many books have that effect on me, so that's something unusual and positive. Should I embark upon a second reading, I'll likely pick up a physical book and see if that eliminates some of the stylistic confusion in the e-book.

When I read the blurbs about this book, I thought it sounded fascinating - a promising thriller. And maybe there IS a fascinating thriller hidden somewhere in the confusing narrative that makes up this book but I couldn't find it. The timeline goes back and forth constantly, the narrators change without warning so it's sometimes a page or two before one realizes exactly who is talking and when. The two stories - murders in different times - that sounded so interesting, are muddled and confusing.

The book started out fairly interesting but the middle section was so, so, slow and bogged down. It seemed to take me forever to get through that middle and to the last portion of the story which - though still not making much sense - was at least somewhat intriguing.

I didn't really like any of the characters and didn't particularly care what happened to them (which in this case, turned out to be a good thing)

No book is for everyone. Some people will undoubtedly love this one. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people.

How reliable is memory? Can it be influenced, even controlled by others? Can you ever be sure that what you think happened, really did happen, given our tendency to sugarcoat painful memories to protect ourselves or others? This complex yet thoroughly satisfying novel explores how the line between reality and fantasy can become very blurred as memories interact with experiences over time.
A man is sent to prison for thirty years for a horrific crime he did not commit. His conviction was based on a number of witnesses whose memories proved to be unreliable. Adding to the mystery is the fact that many of the characters are either high, drunk, or emotionally unstable when they witness events leading up to the tragedy. Due to these altered states, their grasp on reality is loose at best, and they continually struggle to separate reality from delusions.
Looking at the reviews, it seems people either love this or hate it. I think it may have to do with expectations.
If you are looking for an simple thriller with an ending where everything is tied up in a neat little bundle, you will be disappointed. However, if you like a complex puzzle that makes you think and keeps you guessing, as I do, you'll love it.
This is so much more than the usual thriller. Chaon's writing skills are extraordinary. I was riveted from start to finish. Even though the plot is complex, I never felt lost or confused. I enjoyed guessing all the way to the end. I can't wait to read more from this author.
Note: I received a copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

The summary of Ill Will sounded incredibly interesting when I was browsing on NetGalley. Two unsolved crimes across a span of many years connected by one man. It sounds intriguing, right? Well, the first part of the story did hold my attention, but as I read on, the novel became more and more drawn out. The narrators changed many times and went back and forth from past to present so often that my head was spinning, but I trudged on hoping for an exciting ending.

As I continued reading, I found the characters to be completely self centered and totally incapable of seeing anything but what is right in front of them. I think Chaon purposefully wrote the characters to be this way, and I'm not sure I was really supposed to connect with them or like them very much. I hope not, because they were all extremely strange. There were many things I didn't enjoy about the book, but I still found myself unable to put it down. It definitely had a dark feel to it and I think that is why I felt so strangely about it. I liked it and at the same time I didn't. I wanted to put it down, but at the same time I really needed to know what happened at the end. I didn't like the characters, but I didn't want bad things to happen to them. See why I'm confused?

All in all, Ill Will is a chilling thriller that truly makes you question your own perception of past events. It caught my attention from the first page, and even though it was dark and twisted, I found myself enjoying it. I would recommend this book to readers who enjoy suspense and crime novels.

Dustin's adopted brother, Rusty, was convicted of killing his parents, aunt and uncle when Dustin was just a teenager but now the Innocence Project has found evidence that has allowed for Rusty to be released. Dustin has severe anxiety from the memories of Rusty's abuse and ritualistic sacrifices of baby bunnies but Rusty wants to make a connection with Dustin's son, anyway. Meanwhile, college students are going missing and then days later are found drowned in nearby bodies of water with large amounts of substances in their systems. Dustin and Aqil believe that the deaths may not be accidents but, instead, the result of similar ritualistic sacrifices that Dustin has studied as a psychotherapist.

The synopsis of this book doesn't do it justice. This book is a magnificent thriller that I read in one sitting. Everything that a thriller requires in order to strike horror in the heart of a reader was included in this book. I was left wondering who, or what, killed the young men until the very end. There were some parts where the writing was a little bit strange but it did not overpower the amount of suspense that this book built. The story is told by several different characters and they all have a unique voice. Dustin's account actually stops mid-sentence as he disassociates in the book. The characters are complex and interesting to read about. I am excited to read more from Chaon and his haunted mind! I really enjoyed this book and the characters, I just felt a little frustrated with the, sometimes, clunky writing style. I recommend this to any reader looking for a great mystery or thriller who is not squeamish.

Two murders, past and present, that could be related to Satanic Rituals - what's not to love! Sadly the book fell a bit short of my expectations. Though the blurb sounds interesting, I found it to be a slow read that was difficult to follow (this could be from the eBook formatting). The story switches perspectives and at time it's hard to decipher who the reader is supposed to be following. I wasn't expecting the ending though - so kudos!

Ill Will is a new mystery by Dan Chaon. Actually, it's less a mystery and more a story about memory and a weird time in American history. In the mid-1980s, a moral panic surged across the US that Satanic rituals were occurring regularly in small communities - most of the stories involved children being killed or drinking their blood and/or sexual abuses. I remember, as a child myself at that time, thinking that if the amount of alleged abuse were actually happening, someone I knew would surely be affected, and I didn't know of anyone. Simultaneously, I also wondered if I had repressed memories, and beloved family friends actually put on hoods at night and sought to kidnap me and cut out my liver for a backyard bonfire. So, thanks, Chaon, for taking me back so completely to this bizarre time in my childhood when religious nuts in my small Christian community spent a lot of time freaking out kids with hand-wringing about a bunch of nonsense.

Ill Will's main character, Dustin, a psychologist whose career launched (and quickly sunk) in the study of "Satanic Ritual Abuse" was seemingly a victim of the phenomenon himself. His parents and aunt and Uncle when killed when he was a child and his adopted brother, Rusty, was jailed for the murder. Dustin testistfied at the trial that Rusty was involved in Satanic rituals. Dustin later marries and has several children who don't know about his past, but when a friend of his son goes missing, Dustin sort of gets involved in trying to figure out what happened. Meanwhile, Rusty's been released from prison and has contacted one of his nephews. Rusty seems to be a well-meaning man, lonely and good intentioned, however ill-equipped he may be to deal with life and human interactions in any responsible way, having spent most of his life in jail.

For me what was lacking was a woman's voice - there were a few short bits with Dustin's female cousins whose parents were killed as well - they were the characters I was most interested in.

To tell the truth, I found the end of Ill Will very unsatisfying. Things wrap up in a quick and sort of disassociated way. I did enjoy the analysis of memory and memory recovery, as well as the sort of clinical view of this out of control urban legend that so many people believed in.

Ill Will by Dan Chaon

I received this book in exchange for a fair review from NetGalley. I really wanted to like this book, because the blurb intrigued me. The beginning was confusing, because it jumped back and forth in time, but it pulled me in. The more I read, the more strange it got, by the time I got a third into I started to get annoyed. Too many different plots competing against each other, then the pages started to split showing two different sections of a chapter on the same page. This happened a few more times further on also. The way this set up, you couldn't tell what section belong with which. That would go on for two or three pages, then back to normal pages. I started to get annoyed with the characters, I don't think there was a likable or bright one in the bunch. The one character right from the start said "serial killer" to me, too many things about him stood out. Most of the characters, either young or old, in present time or past were too stoned to know what was going on. I totally agreed when one of the sons asked his father, how far up his butt his head was, that he couldn't see what was going on. I finally skipped to the end to see how it resolved, but even that was a confusing mess.
Sorry, even without the page problems and an intriguing blurb, this was not a book I would even try again once the page problem was fixed.

Dan Chaon's new book, Ill Will, is about two unsolved crimes, one in the present day and one from the past. These threads are tied together by the main character, Dustin Tillman, a forty-one-year-old psychologist with a small practice in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, whose speciality is hypnosis therapy.

Dustin is married with two teen-aged sons and, up-to-now, has been satisfied with his life. But in April, 2012, he realizes he is feeling a vague anxiety: "his brain seemed murky with circling unfocused dread, and the world itself appeared somehow more unfriendly--emanating a soft glow of ill will."

Two upsetting events occur around that time: first, the body of a male college student who has been missing since November 1 of the previous year is spotted in the ice of the local river. Was it an accidental death or is there a serial killer at work?

Dustin has a patient, Aqil Ozorowski, a former policeman of about thirty, supposedly on medical leave from the Cleveland Police Department, who has a theory that the drowning death of the student is indeed the latest in a series of such deaths. He has names and dates plotted out and he begins to draw Dustin into his informal investigation. The line between patient and doctor grows blurry as the two become friends. For all his education and life experience, Dustin seems easily manipulated, gullible, and clueless, unable to tell what is real and not real. Is this because of some trauma in his childhood?

We wonder because next we learn more about Dustin. He receives a phone call from his cousin Kate, telling him that his adopted older brother, Russell, has been released from prison, where he has been serving a thirty-year sentence for the murder of his mother, father, aunt and uncle in June of 1983. With the help of a group called the Innocence Project that investigates wrongful convictions, he has been exonerated, DNA tests having proven him innocent.

Back in the 80s, some disturbed teens like Russell dabbled in satanic rituals, influenced by heavy-metal groups like Black Sabbath, and Russell was accused of the murders and convicted largely on the testimony of Kate and Dustin about his abusive actions, killing baby rabbits, carving pentagrams, etc. Now that he has been released, will he be seeking revenge? And who committed the murders, if it wasn't Russell?

Soon Dustin's personal life begins falling apart with the death of his wife from cancer and an emotional estrangement from his sons: "This little island I'd built for myself, this family that had seemed so safe and stable, was dissipating beneath my feet."

There are hints that Dustin takes mood-stabilizing drugs but perhaps he is over doing it. He frequently doesn't finish his sentences, leaving them hanging in mid-air--a habit which annoys his sons to no end--and when he experiences a few hallucinations, he thinks there might be the possibility of 'acute amphetamine psychosis'--causing paranoia and delusions.

This reader watched helplessly as Dustin and his family get more deeply drawn into a tangled web of evil. I found the book hard to put down and was up late finishing it. I was expecting one more twist but perhaps the author thought better of taking the story where my own imagination was leading me.

This is my first experience of Dan Chaon's writing so I cannot compare it to his other work but I'm very much looking forward to reading more.

Thank you to the author, publisher, and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this exciting new book. Dan Chaon has a new fan!

I would like to thank Net Galley and Random House for the opportunity to read Ill Will.

However, this book is very frustrating. It reads like a first draft, riddled with terrible metaphor and simile, with twists and turns that go into brick walls and characters that are not fleshed out. If there is any positive to come from this book, it's that unseasoned authors can read this book and see a future in becoming a published author.

I received this ARC from netgalley.com in exchange for a review.

Two separate threads of horrendous murders, Dustin's family is viciously murdered and his adopted brother Rusty is jailed and does 25 years but then he is acquitted. In present time, Dustin is a psychologist and gets involved in his patients theory about a serial murderer.

This is the first time I have read this author. The writing just felt too messy and disjointed, sentences would abruptly end and the thought wouldn't be picked up again in the next sentence. The vertical columns like in a newspaper or word doc didn't translate well to my Kindle, the print was micro-mega small and I was forced to skip past those pages. I thought the mystery itself was interesting but the back and forth exterior it was incased in was frustrating to read.

2☆

Psychologically complex Dan Chaon’s ILL WILL is a dark, haunting, and twisty suspense thriller full of madness, tragedy, murder, grief, and despair. Cancer, drugs, addictions, and satanic evil.

"We meet our destiny on the road we take to avoid it." —Jean De La Fontaine.

Dustin Tillman is a suburban Cleveland psychiatrist. Father of two teenage boys, Aaron and Dennis. His wife, Jill dying of cancer, and one of his patients is now recruiting him to help investigate the drownings of young men that seem to match a pattern. He is struggling with his own past. He is the survivor.

In 1983, when he was thirteen years old, his mother, father, aunt, and uncle were murdered. Dustin accused his adopted older brother, Rusty (attracted to Satanism) of the crime. Rusty was incarcerated.

What really happened with the violent murder during a summer holiday in 1983? Two unsolved crimes. Past and Present.

"In the end it is the mystery that lasts and not the explanation."—Sacheverell Sitwell, For Want of the Golden City.

Now he has been exonerated and released. Thirty some years after Dustin’s testimony put him away for murdering their parents, aunt, and uncle. Now DNA evidence clears him of the crime.

From dark family secrets and deceit, this is one creepy grisly disturbing book. Unnerving, moody and atmospheric. Emotionally wrenching and complex.

Plot-driven, the author uses impressive skill and control, as he crosses multiple narratives with different perspectives— for a mind-bending saga which will leave your head spinning. An exploration of memories, delusion, and self-deception.

". . . Every memory he thinks of now is discolored and ugly. The past suddenly has vanished from underneath him, distorted, memories turned into something he doesn't recognize, something malevolent."

The author keeps the evil, despair, terror and suspense high. Exploring humanity’s darker side. If you are looking for a relaxing read, move on. However, you if like crossing over to the darker side, and enjoy well-written complex literary/pulp fiction thrillers, you may enjoy the scary intense ride.

A special thank you to Random House, LibraryThing Early Reviewers, and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

JDCMustReadBooks

Full review to be posted on the blog https://inkepiphanies.wordpress.com/ soon!

Ill Will is such a perfect title for the novel Dan Chaol so masterfully crafted. I can't say a single bad thing about the book but I can throw warnings left and right. Being honest, Ill Will is not an easy read and I don't think every single person who takes the masterpiece into their hands would be able to finish it. It took me a while to finish it but I have zero regrets or negative feedback. From the very first pages, Ill Will drags you into a very dark, desperate and haunted place. Be ready to take it or leave, make a choice.

"It was that dull mood where you kind of felt the angsty life-is-meaningless vibe but you were too lazy to get very worked up about it."

Lately, I have been so lucky with my book picks and Ill Will didn't disappoint me a single bit. Although I did feel a bit heavy-chested from time to time, I only have good things to say. One thing I kept repeating to myself, "God, this is so messed up." It's messy, it's not pretty but it's so real and raw. Ill Will made me feel everything at once and what I felt was like being stripped of meat down to my bones. It hurt but for some darn weird reason I thought that I deserved it. That's what is so awfully beautiful about the prose, the storyline and the characters - the explosive combination makes you believe in all sorts of horrors. What is worse, those horrors haunt me even after I turned the last page. I keep thinking about Ill Will and I think, human nature is so twisted.

The humans of Ill Will are all...quite something. Everyone's got something to hide and everyone's so doomed and damned, it's hard to believe. You know, I thought I've seen plenty of that but turns out I was so wrong. The characters are very complex to the point where I could never say I figured one or another for sure. See, I wasn't looking for mysteries to be solved, so I was perfectly content in never really figuring out Dustin or Russell or any other human beings of Ill Will. That's the point. Don't expect the mystery to be unveiled. The novel isn't about that. Watch out for those damned.

"A certain kind of loneliness magnified inside me. A kind of terrible, unsolvable homesickness - for home that doesn't exist. That maybe never even was."

From what I have seen, many people express complaints about the unsolved. I have no issue with that since, as I previously mention, Ill Will isn't about that. Silly to say but it's the journey that matters. And that journey got me stuck somewhere in between constantly throwing up from disgust or crying out of this seemingly everlasting misery. You know, there are shows or book you are repulsed by because they are too graphic/too sensitive/too emotional/too something but you keep on with them for some strange reason. It's like being hypnotized by the darkest side of human nature. Something we all have but can't openly admit. That's it. Ill Will is disgustingly hypnotizing.

Nonetheless, there is so much raw human emotion in the novel. It's deep. It gets under your skin. It gets into your bed, your clothes, your food. I felt like I was poisoned by what I was reading. That is, my friend, a distinguishing trait of a quality content. This isn't some fun Caraval games, this is the sh**. You got it right here. That's why I recommend Ill Will to my friends and whoever I know, really, because it's a reminder to all those whiners of what rock-bottom is really like. All I wanted to do as I finished Ill Will is be grateful for the life I have. So, go figure.

This was an amazingly-well-crafted psychological thriller that had me glued to my Kindle, unwilling and unable to get off of the thrill ride, until I had read the last page. And, once I had done so, I could do little more than sit back and mutter in awestruck wonder, "Whoooooa!" My brain was successfully boggled and my mind was effectively blown.

The characters in this story are some of the most complex and multi-dimensional that I have come across in quite some time. They are written so vividly that you almost come to feel as if you know them... and, in some cases, fear them. You're never quite sure who you can trust and who is telling the truth... or if they even know what their OWN truth is.

There are several plot lines that all tie in together, seamlessly. Each plot line has you thinking you know exactly what is going on and who did what, and then comes a twist... then another... and another. If you think you have figured out the "full story", just wait until the last few pages and see how right (or very wrong) you are!

If you're like me, and enjoy the challenge of a psychological thriller that you haven't already figured by the time you're only a few chapters in, then this is the read for you! This was my first book by Dan Chaon, and I am now starving to devour more.

*I received a complimentary ARC of this book from NetGalley & Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine Books in order to read and provide a voluntary and honest review, should I choose to do so.

Thank you Netgalley and Random House Publishing for allowing me an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Summary:
When Dustin was younger, he and his cousins Kate and Wave lost their parents in a violent death.  With the testimony from Kate and Dustin, his adopted brother Russell is put away for murder.  But what if he didn’t do it?
That is what The Innocence Project is out to prove- that Rusty is indeed innocent, and victim to a witch hunt of sorts where terms like “Satanic Ritual killings” is used to pin the murders on a boy that was not innocent, but not a killer.
The problem?  Dustin firmly believes everything he testified to.  Is he a trustworthy narrator though?  Are any of them?  Told in different POV’s and spanning back and forth from before the murder to present, this book begs the question on what to do when one can no longer differentiate between reality and delusion.
My thoughts:
The premise of this book had me so excited.  I was dying to read it!  I will admit that for me, this is a pass.  I almost DNF so many times.  The author uses tricks in pagination and story hopping to create a disassociated feeling.  Now, when done well I have absolutely no issue with moving back and forth in a story line so long as I feel it helps to move the story along.  The first 5% of this book was painful, though.  We jumped story line a dozen times, often for no seeming reason.  The storyline was jumpier than a room full of  meth-heads.
I will say that with the POV of Aaron, Dustin’s son, it was easier to keep track and he made more sense.  I understand that doing Dustin’s POV is a spastic way was supposed to help show his state of mind… but it was always pretty obvious that he wasn’t all there so how necessary was this?  All the constant jumps did was keep me from immersing myself into the story.
I read this in eBook format on my phone, and because there were times where the page was chopped into up to six pieces I was often having to move the font size up and down to accommodate. I did look it over on my much larger tablet and found I had the same issue there.  So that was upsetting.  Overall I feel like there were a lot of cheap tricks used to create an air of disturbance that were unnecessary.  In the end this was just not for me.  Two stars. 
On the adult content scale, there is drug use, violence, a large amount of substance abuse…. you name it.  I cannot recommend this for anyone under 18.  I give it a nine. 
This is just my opinion- it is actually getting a lot of happy chatter on Goodreads and Litsy.  I do recommend buying a paper copy, the eBook format just made things worse.
The book is out now.  Have you read it?

What’s it about . . .
Dustin Tillman, a psychologist in his 40s, is haunted by the murder of his parents, aunt, and uncle in the 1980s. Convinced his step-brother Rusty, a boy with an already troubled past, committed the murders, Dustin and his cousin testify that Rusty was involved with satanic cults. Even without physical evidence, their testimony was enough to convict him of the murders. Thirty years later, with the help of The Innocence Project and DNA analysis, Rusty is exonerated and released from jail.

Recently, Dustin has lost his wife to cancer and is probably not thinking clearly when he befriends a patient and crosses a professional boundary to help him investigate a serial killer who preys on local college boys. Meanwhile, Rusty, newly released from prison, has made contact with Dustin’s son, who is dealing with drug abuse problems and the recent death of his best friend.

What did I think . . .
I enjoyed this immensely; however, this is not a book for everyone. Besides being a rather dark story, it is also creepy and, at times, scary. Plus it’s not the easiest book to read or listen to. Using three narrators, shifting points of view, two time lines that span three decades, and a unique writing style makes this novel, at times, challenging. But it was so worth it!

The story is multi-layered and complex, but also a compelling mystery. It isn’t until the very last section that everything comes together. And at that point I asked myself why I didn’t see it coming! If you like Stephen King style creepiness or Hitchcockian suspense, you will probably enjoy this unique novel. This is already one of my 2017 favorites.

Creepy, disturbing, gritty, and dark. The atmosphere in Ill Will is palpable. Dustin is a psychologist in Ohio. Thirty years ago, when he was a thirteen year old boy, his parents, aunt, and uncle were massacred. He and his cousin Kate testified against Dustin's adopted brother Rusty. Now Rusty is being released from prison due to an overturned conviction. DNA evidence proves he did not do it. The case was amid the satanic cult ritual hysteria making for a rather fascinating foundation. However, there is also a possible serial killer targeting drunk college boys. The writing style is certainly unique with what some might call ramblings at times, though it illustrates what is going on in Dustin's mind. The novel ends up being quite multi-layered making us question whether we can truly trust one's memory. I enjoyed the unique style and will certainly be checking out more Dan Chaon in the future.