A Lullaby of Flies

I hated myself by the time I was six…because I was fat. I became bulimic at age fourteen. I had always used food to control my intense emotions, but as time passed, it became something else, something no one understood- not even myself. Meanwhile, what little structure there had been in my family was falling apart, and I ran away in an attempt to conserve my sanity. After years of living in tents, caves, and my car, I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital only to be forcefully discharged due to the medical community’s lack of understanding of eating disorders. Heartbroken, I was released raw and unprepared back into the world, once again alone.

Adrift and armed with lies, I joined the Air Force in 2005 at age nineteen.

My story is not how I overcame all of this, exactly; it's how I survived it. It's a social commentary on youth who fall through the cracks, on non standard friendship, on women in the military, and how anyone- if they can just find the strength to keep breathing- can open a new, brighter chapter in their lives.

This is the story how my non-life became a Life.

KIRKUS REVIEW - "In this debut memoir, Presa reflects on a life that included bulimia, homelessness, military service, motherhood, and complicated love."

"I could not put this book down! It resonated way too much. I struggled with an eating disorder for 28 years, and understand what it's like to feel guilty over 20 calories. This book brought many tears, but thankfully, has a happy ending." --Debra McLain, Author of To Conquer or Die Trying