Please Don't Grab My P#$$y

A Rhyming Presidential Guide

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Pub Date Oct 30 2018 | Archive Date May 02 2020
Animal Media Group | Animal Media Group LLC

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Description

Through campy pop culture rhymes and beautiful oil paintings, the narrator of our book guides you though a list of things you CAN grab while offering more poetic ways to refer to a woman’s genitalia than the word “pussy” that Trump so vulgarly used. As the narrator goes on, she lets you know more about her relatives (a reclusive aunt with a lazy eye) and her interests (Justin Bieber’s Instagram) while never losing sight of her mission to make the President as uncomfortable as possible. We think that the President, not to mention men in Hollywood, Wall Street, the news media and beyond, can benefit from reading our book. No matter who you are, or how dumb you are, you’ll be able to understand this book’s simple message: Hands off my pussy!

Through campy pop culture rhymes and beautiful oil paintings, the narrator of our book guides you though a list of things you CAN grab while offering more poetic ways to refer to a woman’s genitalia...


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EDITION Other Format
ISBN 9781947895027
PRICE $13.95 (USD)
PAGES 32

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Average rating from 133 members


Featured Reviews

We live in a country wherein our leader makes decisions and statements on the regular that demean women and emboldens others to follow suit. This book is simply a response by the author via the avenues of comedy and illustration.

An incredibly short read, Young's poem is a collection of things that President Trump can grab as an alternative to a woman's private parts presented in a manner akin to a children's book. Yes, it's clever and yes, it's funny. There's a line in here about Mike Pence that almost killed me.

Let's be real here: The reader shouldn't be the least bit surprised by the content. The cover and the title do a first-rate job of previewing every facet of the book.

The author could have gone a number of less inspired routes in expressing her feelings about the issue, but we're given a cheeky rebuttal to a very unfortunate and nasty incident. Young's voice is clear; she's authored a piece of work that decrees in comedic fashion what a normal person should know, understand, and respect. Sure, the style of humor (it's definitively NSFW) might not resonate with a reader, but I think Young's work digs a little deeper and should be viewed as more than funny words that rhyme with accompanying drawings. It's a solid recommend from me.

Many thanks to NetGalley and Animal Media Group for the advance read.

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Would be funny if it wasn’t so damn depressing.

This is a list of things you can grab
And yes, I’m gonna sound pushy
For once in your life, listen up
DON’T EVER FUCKING GRAB MY PUSSY

In this picture book-for-adults, NYC-based comedians Julia Young and Matt Harkins combine irreverent poetry with powerful illustrations by Laura Collins to call out Drumpf for his long and shameless history of sexual assault, rape, and general harassment of women.

Their cheeky and sometimes weird sense of humor disarms the reader, all while imparting an important message about consent: namely, DON’T EVER FUCKING GRAB MY PUSSY!. Instead, they provide a handy list of things Drumpf can grab instead: his golf putter, the remote control, his favorite shade of crayon – Caucasian, natch. Tragically, none of these suggestions involve a live wire or the testicles of a very angry and untethered grizzly bear.

To be perfectly honest, some of the euphemisms the authors employ for vagina threw me off; certainly these sound made up, I thought. But I googled a few and, sure enough, they are all slang variations of pussy. (*shaking head*) Although I must admit a certain affection for “dildo hotel.”

PLEASE DON’T GRAB MY P#$$Y: A RHYMING PRESIDENTIAL GUIDE is good for a chuckle or two, tempered by the odd dry heave and stifled sob; it would be so much funnier if our current reality wasn’t so damn depressing. (The painting of Hillary being sworn in cut like a katana to the heart.) Still, it’s a necessary and dynamic piece of activism.

(Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through NetGalley.)

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This book manages to mock Donald Trump, stand up for women, and provide some beautiful illustrations! It's a quick and entertaining read that would make a perfect gift!

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Let's be really clear...you don't pick up this book without knowing what you're going into, and anyone who says they did is full of $hit.

That being said, you'll either love the book or hate it. I am hoping that the number of people who take the time to review it fall into the first category. The illustrations are great...a few of the poems are a tiny stretch but the meaning is never lost. And even I learned new terms for vagina.

Definitely adding a few of these as stocking stuffers next Christmas.

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This book made me laugh out loud and I was so disappointed at its short length. I have read it several times to fully enjoy the word play and the art work and the book continues to delight.

The authors have created clever and witty poems mocking the president about topics such as: taxes, golf, electoral college map, KFC, popular vote, Fallon hair fluffing to name a few while emphasising not to be grabbed by the pussy in various funny synonyms. The book is to 'inform' the president about his confusion regarding grabbing women - a funny way to deal with an unbelievable situation. The art work accompanying each poem is beautiful (Laura Collins artist). This book is perfect for every 'Pussy hat wearing' feminist, young or old, male or female.


Thanks to Animal Media Group for an early viewing in exchange for an honest review.

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I got an ARC of this book.

I want to preface this by I have a giant sign in my office that says "grab this" and has a black cat between grab and this. It was a gift from a coworker who retired. She was amused that I would want to hang it in my office. I agreed with her politics and I am the owner of a vagina, though my full beard may not make the Trump's type, I stand behind the chants and the marches.

The book is a short little picture book. It is one of those books that looks like a kids book, but is very clearly for adults. It takes just looking at the title to know. It didn't rock my socks with humor and wit, but I did snort a time or two. My favorite little rhyme mentioned how people let him win at golf. I couldn't help but snort at that. It was this little blow to his ego, but it was also a huge point. Trump cares more about his image than he does other people. Other people know it and are sure to bend to his will so not to face his wrath over some petty slight. This author did not bend. 

I will be one of the many men with vaginas who fight for women to not live in fear of being sexually abused and harassed by anyone. I will behind every woman, with and without vaginas (since that distinction still seems to matter for some strange reason), who want to have equal rights. This author used human and cute paintings to make the point that there are so many ways to say one statement: Keep your filthy hands off my body without consent. Even if you are not super politically minded, you may just learn a new word for vagina so that is a bonus.

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Disclaimer: I have received an advanced copy in exchange for a honest review.

Do you know bathroom poetry? I mean the good kind, where you just sit there, and chuckle while doing your business? Well, this book reminds me of it.
On the even sides, it's a string of mock four-liners, reflecting to one particular Trump quote with witty remarks and a conclusion that features a remarkable set of vagina synonyms, while on the odd sides you have some well-made oil paintings. Simple idea, playful and witty poetry, that somehow manages to capture the sometimes absurd Zeitgeist of the current American government in form of a meme.
Overall it's a fun read, but it probably won't age well.

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This book is a hilarious poem about all the things a certain ‘gentleman’ should do rather than grab pussy (shudder). It’s funny, satirical and each verse ends in a hilarious euphemism for ‘vagina’. ‘Hippo’s yawn’ being my favourite, if you want to know.

The illustrations are eye catching oil paintings of different political scenes, which adds a certain gravitas to such beautiful verse.

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I love this book. I could type this about hundred times and it would be so true, each time. It's a timely book about the guy at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, who got caught talking about grabbing pu$$y. But, it's a rhyming book about so much more. I want to buy a copy for all those trump loving people who I've moved out of my life, but just one last jab before I go.
My favorite is the page " This was alist of things you can grab, and yes, I'm gonna sound pushy. For Once in your life, listen up, DON"T EVER F#CKING GRAB MY PU$$Y" .

A solid five stars for this book. Not for the faint of heart. If you call your wife mother, you might not want to buy it.

Thank you to #NetGalley and the publisher for a pre-publication ebook in exchange for an honest review.

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this is a very funny book which has a lot of very imaginative names for a certain part of a woman's anatomy. plus it rhymes which is always fun

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Quick read. Good for a laugh and the drawings/pictures that accompany each poem is spot on. This is a good book when you need a pick me up. Thanks to NetGalley, the author and the publisher for the ARC of this book.

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This is a delightful, raunchy, rhyming warning to the President (yes, that president) to never grab the author’s, or any female’s, lady parts. The poetry is funny and clever, and the illustrations are truly exceptional. (Who knew there were so many different names to those lady parts?! )

This book would make a great gift for any friend who marched, or wanted to march, in last year’s Women’s March, and who wore, or wanted to wear, a pink pussy hat. As British sitcom icon Mrs. Slocum would say (often referring to her stay-at-home pussy), “I am unanimous in that!”

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Smart, funny, sad, poignant, witty. It's so sad that in 2018 this is where we are and this is the best we can do, which makes a book like this necessary.

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I am reviewing this book as an ARC without compensation.

Seriously hilarious! I laughed tears. The graphics are great and go well with the jokes.

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A little book of quick poems telling Donald Trump what could be grabbed instead of the lady parts. Some of the poems I found laugh out loud funny, while others were meh. The illustrations were great and a great addition to the book. I found I laughed harder when I saw the corresponding illustrations. If you have a little sick humor in you, if you don’t care for Donald Trump and his vulgar way of talking about women, or you just want to learn some new words for lady parts, then this book is meant for your coffee table.

Many thanks to Animal Media Group and Netgalley for the ARC in exchange for review.

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This is from an advanced review copy for which I thank the publisher.

This was an amusing and very short book of poetry and paintings (which are indirectly tied to the poem) designed to teach certain presidents who are a disgusting stain on any civilized and self-respecting society, some lessons they badly need to learn, but are apparently unwilling to do so and/or incapable of doing so. There is something fundamentally wrong with a nation which will elect a boorish, sexist, racist, misogynist, outright lying person into public office, especially when he's three million votes shy of having won an actual majority in the election, but this passes for democracy these days.

While I did not feel the poetry was at its best, the book contains a bemusing variety of euphemisms for a woman's private parts some of which I had not heard before. I think my favorite is panty hamster now, replacing nappy dugout, which itself wasn't included in this collection, but I'm sure many readers could find one that was missing. I believe Mary Shelley's term of choice was 'pretty notch' but that was also, and I suppose unsurprisingly, missing from the collection.

That said, this was a worthwhile effort because I support anyone who does something rather than nothing, even if they don't have the courage to put 'pussy' on the cover (although that may be a Publisher Advisory), which is why I recommend this.

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I received this book in exchange for an honest review via NetGalley. This is a quick little picture book that explains all of the things that you can grab without grabbing a P#$$y. This was cute and quirky with a fun rhyme scheme. I enjoyed it for what it was.

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Poetry that is angry and her message. Only thing I've issue with, "But please don’t grab my piss hole." Unless term p $$ y includes Urethra and no one informed me.

Downloaded from Netgalley

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I.enjoyed this book very much. It’s not often a book makes me laugh out loud but this one did. The illustrations are first-rate and the poetry kept my attention for sure. I just wish it was longer.

My thanks to NetGalley for providing me with an e-ARC in exchange for my honest review.

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One of the most hilarious books that I have read in a good while. I especially enjoyed the juxtaposition of beautiful artwork with irreverent and comical text.

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A book whose existence, unfortunately, was necessitated by rape culture and the unflinching perpetuation of rape culture. The book is more or less a tragedy reflecting how little a nation and its citizens has evolved and details alternatives that hopefully pussy grabber will embrace (or "grab", as it were) in the future. Thank you, Julia Young, for saying what shouldn't have had to be said.

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This was mostly funny, though I do think some of the rhymes were a stretch. For the most part I enjoyed the random names for vaginas, though I could have done without "crusty crustacean." The illustrations were cool, but I don't think they added much to the book.

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We live in a sad world where this book is actually needed for. Not all need this book, but very few does. It is a funny way of putting the right to decide who is allowed to touch your body. Still there is a silent cry over the poems. Hands up the the author for this book, sad, clever and a little bit funny.

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really funny descriptions. The writing continued to surprise me and the pop references made it much more interesting. I enjoyed the style of the illustrations. This is a great gift for adults.

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Really funny, but a little over the top but what isn’t with a title as this and as I say it is funny. It also does make a point. Reality is reality, and these are the times we are living.

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I requested this book on Netgalley because it seemed like a fun read for the weekend. Making fun of Donald Trump, while using rhyme and art? Yes please.

Let's start of by saying the artwork in this book is spot one. I liked the oil paintings, but I would have preferred a more "clean" style of art. But that is just personal taste.

The problem with humor is that everyone perceives it differently. And what some think is hilarious, others don't like at all. The rhymes were mostly funny, but not always the best they could be. The rhymes feel like they could belong in a children's book. So personally, I didn't think this was as funny as I thought it would (or could) be. I think the concept is great: each page says, in a slightly different way, what Donald Trump could grab instead of p#$$y. I wish the rhymes would have been a bit more "smart" or elaborate. On the other hand, it does feel like you have to talk like a little kid to make guys like Donald Trump understand what you mean, right?

All in all I like the idea and the message of this book. I just think it could've been better. Two stars for the text and one extra star for the artwork.

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I know for fact this won't be everyone's cup of tea and some with rant and rave but I loved this! As someone who feels we are truly living in a scary and unstable time, this was a nice chuckle. Some of the rhymes felt like a stretch but still, it was overall amusing. The illustrations are so well done!

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Exactly what it says on the tin. Humorous and profane (albeit only to the extent you find synonyms for p#$$y to be profane). I enjoyed the paintings more when they were original subjects than when they were a painted replica of a photo (I'm looking at you, Michael Phelps).

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This was fun! What a great way to promote feminist and anti-Trump ideas, which I fully support. I only gave this 3 stars however for its constant repetitiveness and that some of the lines were a stretch.

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How many ways can you say “vagina”? Well, thanks to this book, I can now add a few more to my vocabulary!

I enjoyed this. This is not the kind of book that you sit there and take seriously, although there is a very serious lesson to be learned here. Take it for what it is…an entertaining and adorable little picture book about not grabbing things you aren’t supposed to. Plain and simple. The fact that this book even needs to be written is a little sad but that’s just the world we live in now, I guess. Don’t get your panties in a twist just because someone managed to find the humor in a bad situation.

In these few pages we get a cute little poem and a corresponding picture. The artwork in this book is absolutely amazing and I want to hang the artist’s work on my wall. There are a couple of pictures that are similar or duplicated through the book and that threw me off a little. I would have liked every picture to be unique but I’m not going to worry over that. I think the short poems were great and to the point. The lesson on each page was very simple; “You can grab this, but not that” and I loved the dysphemisms used, even if some were a little out there (Carly Simon’s cassette, anyone?). Sure, some of the poetic verses didn’t flow as much as I would have expected but, overall, I thought this was an entertaining way to get a much needed point across. Plus…I learned things and you can’t really talk bad about a book if you learned a valuable lesson or two from it. Even if that lesson was something I personally knew as a toddler. Some people are a little slow on the draw and that is why we have adult picture books. Don’t judge.

If you offend easily, don’t read this. If you think President Grabby Hands is just the image of perfection, don’t bother. If you have zero sense of humor, keep looking. This isn’t the book for everyone but I would absolutely buy this for my friends, even if it was just for a laugh or to learn some uniquely vulgar new phrases that I will most definitely use at least once in my lifetime.

Also, please tell me this will go to audio at some point. Even a video of someone reading this because I think I need that in my life.

Thank you to NetGalley and Animal Media Group for providing an advanced copy of this book to enjoy.

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This was hilarious and a great read. Combining poetry, humor and art isn't an easy thing but it has been achieved in Please Don't Grab My P#$$y. There are a lot of books poking fun at Trump but this felt like more. There's laughter but there is also anger within this and rightly so. I truly enjoyed this book and I look forward to giving it to my friends so they can appreciate it too.

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Funny, but fell a little short for me. It had potential to hit some other areas of the presidency and campaign a little more but did not. At least my vocabulary concerning my vagina has increased. Full review on Goodreads.

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I love it. Fantastic. The art is actually very beautiful, the jokes are great, and I love. Someone make Trump read it, or I guess make someone read it to him?

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Very funny and witty piece of writing. It’s short but doesn’t need to be long to get its point across. I quite enjoyed it and think anyone else who enjoys witty satire would as well.

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The thing about this book that truly gets me is that it doesn’t seem angry enough. With a completely pathetic excuse for a president (as well as a human being), the conversation surrounding his thoroughly inappropriate comments always seems to get ignored for one reason or another. The right wing conservatives always give him a pass for whoever abhorrent behavior he presents and we’re forced to live with it as a result of the GOP controlling government. A book like this is a good commentary, one that is exceedingly depressing to have a purpose for.

The cutesy lyrical rhymes were entertaining, but did not always flow together, however I deeply appreciated the creative ways of repeatedly trying to drive the point home to our disgusting president. Unfortunately, I think he’s to narcissistic and dumb to ever see the importance or respect women in general. At the end of the day, I appreciate the fact that the president is being called out yet again, but I would have liked to see this book be angrier at him for his inhumane words and actions. I feel like we’re all thinking it at this point, so you might as well go ahead and express it.

The end, perhaps, was my favorite part.

<i>I was provided a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.</i>

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A very clever take on a maddening issue. My laughing did let off a lot of stored-up anger and frustration. And the art is brilliant! (The multiple synonyms weren't funny to me. Even so, I appreciated the sarcastic tone and humor.)

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So sad that this needs to exist, but it was an enjoyable read. I'm honestly so impressed by the number of synonyms they could come up with. Cute short 4-line poems with gorgeous illustrations. Would love to see a companion novel that teaches consent, since this is the type of book we might be able to convince the "president" to read.

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Okay, I admit, I was already laughing my butt off just from the cover alone when I first saw it was available. The adult picture book did not disappoint.

No one (with half a brain and one ear at least) can deny that the President of the United States made a very crude, yet common, statement about women…well, about his perceived ego, value, and worth by women. This hilarious picture book takes the President through a variety of things that are appropriate to touch other than a woman’s privates.

The two “things” that I found the funniest (because, really, who is interested in Justin Bieber anymore), were his new putter and Mike Pence. This is definitely not a children’s picture book, but teenagers would find it hilarious as well (at least my 14 year old did).

The illustrations were just right for the book and the verses were like little daggers thrown in the President’s direction.

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Oh boy, get ready for this one. A book that is going to split your audience from the start. I don't think its proper to rate a book low just because you don't agree with it. I don't necessarily aim at getting political on my reviews, but I think it's fair as a reviewer to say I lean towards the political agenda of this book, so we'll go from there.

First, the art is great. I like the style and the humor translates. The real star of the show here are the poems within. I'm not sure if the author took these off Urban Dictionary or their original but there were some good ones in here. At one point there is a running theme about a mole that at first I was bored with, but the punchline hits in the end.

At the end of the day this is a not for kids satire in the style of a children's book. Is it for everyone, no. However, I can think of 2 or 3 people I know will love this that I'll pick it up for a gift. I think you know if you're gonna like this or not just by judging the book by the cover. If you think its for you don't hesitate to pick it up. I think you and your like-minded friends will get a kick out of it.


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A great example of political satire. Entertaining read, and great watercolor artwork. Some of the rhymes were not quite there, but overall a hilarious little book.

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Pictures and poems and sadly how awful trump is. I laughed 9sometimes that is good just to keep the creepy man Trump is. It is actually very good., one that you know someone who will also appreciate the humor and truth of TRUMP.
Thanks to NetGalley for an opportunity to read this. I will recommend this to others and review on Amazon as it comes out.

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This was a hilarious, quick read good for a cathartic laugh. I imagine it would make a great gift for your progressive bestie. I don't recommend it as an ebook because that format didn't do the illustrations justice.

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This is a good giggle of a book. It is a book long poem about all the things the president could grab as opposed to a particular of the female anatomy. This book has a large amount of double entendre which is highly amusing. Not suitable for children or the sensitive but perfect for the person in your life who love a good dirty giggle.

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No matter what your political affiliation is you will enjoy this book! The authors did a great job with coming up with different euphemisms for vagina, although a couple were a stretch. My favorite was "crusty crustacean"! The illustrations were also wonderful!

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This book takes back the power that Trump, or what he represents, tried to take away by starting that awful phrase. Each rhyme is fun and memorable and a call to arms for the liberal side. The oil paintings are gorgeous and have amazing likenesses in their portraits. I especially loved the one of Hilary swearing in with her husband, Bill, holding the Bible. This book is not afraid to push boundaries.

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I am at a loss for words in the best way possible. All the power to the writer for their strong capability of keeping this short and sweet. As well as immensely appreciate the many phrases that are in reference to women's holy grail. And who doesn't love pictures?

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A hysterical and satirical book about grabbing a certain body part that the man in the white house bragged about. It's a quick read, and funny but some may take offense so just be careful.

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Please Don't Grab My P#$$y is a short book with a 4 line verse couple with a picture/painting every 2 pages. The format was fun and the message is important, especially since we're talking about what amounted to an admission of sexual assault in the tape the comment is taken from. That said, some of the verses were clunky and the substitute words for "p#$$y" seemed a bit strained.

I went one star higher because the images were good and the concept worked, just not quite as well as I would have liked. The book is extremely short, which is probably a good thing since too much of this kind of stuff would become redundant. Probably more of a stocking-stuffer type gift. I'm hesitant to say gag gift because other than the toad who made the initial "p#$$y" comment causing ethical people to gag, there isn't anything about the larger issue that lends itself to being a gag.

Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via NetGalley.

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Funny with great illustrations, this book uses a wide vocabulary to get one point across - hands off!

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This is a humorous poem with four line bits that each have an accompanying illustration. It really is an exercise in synonyms for vagina and making them rhyme. Seems like a great little book to throw in a gift basket of someone who has had a particularly bad day facing the world our president has created. Just lets people know you aren’t alone with quipped little jokes.

Be warned, if you find bragging about sexual assault to be “admirable” or “presidential” you will be offended.

Thanks to netgalley and th publisher for the digital arc to review.

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It's a short book with comical ways of telling someone that it's not ok to grab lady bits. While the names for these bits are hysterical, it's sad that these days a person has to create a book to say that it's not ok to go around grabbing women!

Behind the laughs that this book delivers, there's a very powerful message that sits very true with how the world is today. Kudos to the author for putting this book out there!

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The book features a series of poems accompanied by oil paintings. Each poem gets a painting. The poems are all four lines long, and they usually feature an ABCB rhyme scheme (i.e. the second and fourth lines usually rhyme) with the fourth line containing a variant/synonym/euphemism/alternative name for pussy. The amusing part of the book is seeing how many different terms for pussy the author can present.

(I will post full review on my blog. See the link. It goes live on 8/7/19).

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