Parenting with Loving Correction

Discipline of our children is an issue that we all as parents struggle with. Are we being too lenient? Too strict? Why do my children seem to constantly misbehave? As a mother of 3 young boys I found this relatively short book a very useful addition to the many parenting books available.

The book starts with a biblical justification for disciplining our children, then continues with the essentials of corrective discipline and concludes with how to practically carry out discipline. throughout the whole book there is one main theme: that we as parents need to look to the Lord to help us to be consistent in our discipline- without this consistency our discipline will not succeed.

Overall I really enjoyed this book. It provided many useful pieces of advice with much scripture content. It also encouraged me to continue in aspects of discipline that I may be implementing which in the eyes of the world may seem unpopular.

The only criticism I would have is that in some ways I felt that the book seemed too simplistic; that If we we are consistent in discipline our children will come to faith and be respectable members of society. However this is not always the case and although perhaps unintentionally I felt that on occasion it put too much emphasis on the parents work and was a little bit lacking in grace.

Disciplining can be very overwhelming for parents. Who knows what will happen if we embark on this journey of correction. Will my child think that I am a dictator or a tyrant? Will they stop loving me? Will it damage my child’s self-esteem? Wouldn’t correction diminish her creativity? Wouldn’t she hate me for it?

If you are wrestling with these questions, Parenting with Loving Correction by Sam Crabtree is for you. Crabtree is an excellent, easy-to-understand and Bible-saturated writer who understands the murky waters of parenting very deeply.

The aim of this short book is to explain, exhort, encourage and equip parents to gladly receive their God-given role of disciplining their children. Crabtree persuasively argues that when we faithfully correct our children, it produces fruit for righteousness. But if we fail to correct them, the cost is too great to pay. Because this is a book of practical help for raising young children, it primarily focuses on practical aspects of parenting but not at the expense of theological richness.

One of the great strengths of this book is that it is sharp and short. Its 128 pages are filled with excellent wisdom and careful guidance. So, for mums and dads who have minimal time to spare, this book would be of good service.

There is so much to glean from this book. Particularly, I found these three insights helpful in my role as a father and minister:

Firstly, ‘let your yes be yes and no be no’, meaning that what we say is a fundamental requirement for parenting. The author notes, ‘unfortunately, when some parents say no, or stop, or come here, they’re just borrowing those words, trying them out… They don’t really mean what they’re saying’. In other words, if we are going to warn our children of what we will do if they disobey, then we have to do what we said we will do. If not, we shouldn’t say it.

Secondly, let us be consistent. If we want our child to respond the first time we speak, we must demonstrate that we always mean it the first time. That is to say, being consistent with standards is the way to go. The author notes, ‘A child’s future hangs on the parent’s willingness to consistently follow through’.

Thirdly, reward obedience, not disobedience. From a child’s point of view, the act that produced reward must be repeated. For instance, if mum says, ‘if you stop jumping on the couch, I will give you a chocolate’ the child will stop jumping so that he can get the chocolate (rewarded for disobedience). But what if he wants chocolate again? Wouldn’t he rely on disobedience to receive a reward? Most likely.

This helpful book can positively enable parents to live out their calling. This might be a good resource for pastors to keep on their bookshelves to give away to new as well as old parents who would find this book to be a source of encouragement and guidance.

I thank Crossway Publishers for providing me with an advanced copy of this book.

This book is a Christian based parenting book. I usually love any advice I can get on the subject of parenting, but I just did not care for this book. I felt like the tips were judgmental and contradictory. I felt very inadequate as a parent after reading this book and I felt like some of the circumstances and examples were unrealistic. Every child is different and these tips will not work for every child. I feel like this could have been written in a less condescending way and the resulting effect would be improved. Thank you to the publisher and netgalley for the chance to review this book.

I was very excited to see this book available for NetGalley. As the parent of a young son with lots of energy, I am always on the lookout for ways to improve my parenting. I appreciated how Crabtree points out that the problem of sin and that we can’t necessarily change attitude, but we can change behavior. I was encouraged to try some of these with my son. Too often, I’ve acted like he can’t understand even when I know for a fact that he does. Here’s to new beginnings!

The book definitely lives up to its title, the book truly is a treatise in why consistent loving correction is important. It provided good reminders why it’s important to not give in when times are tough and that’s there is a harvest to reap if you are consistent. The book isn’t for those times when you are doing all you can to stay above water, instead it is a reminder that when things are tough we need to be consistent and we will eventually reap a harvest.

Short, sweet and full of knowledge! I felt like the author got right to the point and didn't take bird trails. It was so refreshing to read the grit and get to the solution of the problem and read about ways to get there rather than a bunch of bloat.
I appreciate what this author did and their willingness to offer their insight!

ARC through NetGalley.

We must always remember that our greater and higher aim is godly heart transformation in our children, not just behavioral correction. The ultimate reason for this aim is God's own focus on our hearts. Godless, secular behaviorism obscures-even denies the gospel Our proper approach in corrective discipline means seeking our children's behavioral change with heart change always in view. Parents cannot create in a child's heart the kind of love that God can. He can create the love he commands. We can't transform the child's heart- but our own transformed hearts can shape behaviors that will benefit the child's future. Correction doesn't save the soul. But salvation of the soul corrects-that is, it ushers in true heart transformation and a lifetime of change, by God's grace and will.

I have heard that disciplining is our opportunity as parents to teach our children. However, many times we can be stressed out, burned out or fed up that we can do more damage than good when it comes to disciplining. The insight of this text was amazing and opened my eyes now as a grandmother to love my grandchildren and to be a helper to my daughters and their husbands. Discipline is not a word to be feared but to embrace as it teaches our children responsibility and most importantly love. Without discipline there is no love. However, that said, discipline is not cruel unusual punishment, it is a tool to teach. Not a tool to teach that I am powerful and controlling but compassion and responsibility with joy.

The text is done in 3 parts. What is at stake? Essentials of corrective discipline. Getting practical

It starts with what is correction A 2 part definition is what he uses. Identifying actions or attitudes of your child that are unacceptable when against clear and explicit standard, then acting promptly and decisively to move your child in the direction of compliance with those standards.

I think the most I got out of this text and resource is what discipline is not. Such as discipline doesn't destroy the child but attacks the things that would destroy him. That fearing us as parents or grandparents without delighting in them, they will find no rest in peace with us. That discipline is curbing harmful desires that lead to sinful life choices that enslave us. That discipline is a divine work of God that is given to us as parents. That affirmation is key to discipline and love.

I can go on and on with this text but it is meant to be read, applied and prayed over. I highly recommend this and in fact this will be gift to my children.

A Special Thank you to Crossway Publishing and Netgalley for the ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review.