Nonbinary

Memoirs of Gender and Identity

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Pub Date 09 Apr 2019 | Archive Date 30 Jul 2019

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Description

What happens when your gender doesn’t fit neatly into the categories of male or female? Even mundane interactions like filling out a form or using a public bathroom can be a struggle when these designations prove inadequate. In this groundbreaking book, thirty authors highlight how our experiences are shaped by a deeply entrenched gender binary.

The powerful first-person narratives of this collection show us a world where gender exists along a spectrum, a web, a multidimensional space. Nuanced storytellers break away from mainstream portrayals of gender diversity, cutting across lines of age, race, ethnicity, ability, class, religion, family, and relationships. From Suzi, who wonders whether she’ll ever “feel” like a woman after living fifty years as a man, to Aubri, who grew up in a cash-strapped fundamentalist household, to Sand, who must reconcile the dual roles of trans advocate and therapist, the writers’ conceptions of gender are inextricably intertwined with broader systemic issues. Labeled gender outlaws, gender rebels, genderqueer, or simply human, the voices in Nonbinary illustrate what life could be if we allowed the rigid categories of “man” and “woman” to loosen and bend. They speak to everyone who has questioned gender or has paused to wonder, What does it mean to be a man or a woman—and why do we care so much?

Micah Rajunov is a writer, researcher, and advocate. Since 2011, Micah has created community resources for nonbinary identities through the site genderqueer.me. Micah’s personal transition story has been featured in mainstream publications as well as a full-length documentary.

Scott Duane is an author, advocate, and queer trans man who has been an accidental activist for nearly a decade. He devotes his efforts to creating resources and spaces where trans voices can be heard.

What happens when your gender doesn’t fit neatly into the categories of male or female? Even mundane interactions like filling out a form or using a public bathroom can be a struggle when these...


Advance Praise

"Nonbinary is a great book—timely, wide-ranging, interesting, readable, and relatable. This will be a great primer for parents, teachers, doctors, and anyone else who wants to understand the genderqueer community."
–Jen Manion, Amherst College

"It is fascinating to witness, as a queer scholar, how much has been accomplished in these past decades. Nonbinary makes a profound contribution through an insistence upon increasing exposure to the concepts and lived experiences of contemporary queer people and ideas. This book will do amazing things. This is a vital queer theory textbook."
–K. W. Mott, Seton Hall University

"What a treat to expand my understanding of gender through time and space, and be reminded that we are not a monolith. These memoirs are sure to captivate and comfort the nonbinary community and open the eyes of those who have had little reason to question the gender binary."
–Charlie McNabb, author of Nonbinary Gender Identities: History, Culture, Resources

"This book is beyond vital. It is the anthology I've always yearned for, but never realized could be real. Nonbinary blows open the core of the thing, goes straight for the heart, burrows deep and then some. In a world that insists trans and nonbinary people adopt consistent, easy-to-digest messaging about who we are, this anthology stands bravely above the noise, boldly declaring our multiplicity as our beauty, our contradiction as our multi-faceted shimmer."
–Jacob Tobia, author of Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story

"Nonbinary is a great book—timely, wide-ranging, interesting, readable, and relatable. This will be a great primer for parents, teachers, doctors, and anyone else who wants to understand the...


Available Editions

EDITION Paperback
ISBN 9780231185332
PRICE $28.00 (USD)

Average rating from 44 members


Featured Reviews

Nonbinary was both a touching and informative read. Through the stories presented, it's clear to see that a nonbinary identity can mean different things to different people, and that all presentations as such are equally valid. With some within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum still relatively invisible, I believe this is an important work to highlight the experiences of those still marginalised within the community, and I applaud those who came forward with their stories for their courage and willingness to share their experiences and feelings with the world at large. I hope this work will aid understanding and acceptance of those who identify as nonbinary. I certainly found it a compelling and inspiring read.

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5* An amazing, moving, humbling and thought-inspiring read.

I'm not entirely sure what I expected from this, because I saw the title and grabbed an opportunity for some broadening of my mind, some education. I certainly got an education, just not the formal one that one might expect from a book by a university press. I think I got something unique and priceless.

The intro to the book was confusing, because I didn't quite clock immediately that the guys named on the cover aren't the authors - they're simply the editors of various people's stories. And, if I am not mistaken, part of the intro was done by Riki Wilchins, whose tone and words I don't love, having read a couple of her works and having reviewed one of them, only to find that she'd taken exception to my words (she's since deleted her comments). I was almost debating not reading on when I saw RW's connection, but I decided to continue, and I am so glad that I did.

The book consists of a series of short essays/pieces written by people who are nonbinary. They seemed to range from different ages, races, backgrounds, family settings and I think I enjoyed every single one bar one where it was told as if the author was speaking about themselves in the third person - sorry that I can't recall the name or title.

To hear their tales, to learn of their physical and mental journeys, their struggles, their courage and determination was humbling and made me realise how much het-me takes for granted.

At the end of the book the editors give us the names of the authors in a kind of glossary, introducing them a tad more, and making me appreciate what I've read even more. It's rare that a book about gender is so varied, and this is one of the most uplifting that I've read.

ARC courtesy of Columbia University Press and NetGalley, for my reading pleasure.

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This particular memoir includes pieces written by various genderqueer voices that highlight their experiences as gender-nonconforming individuals. The book’s compilations cover a wide range of enbies who hail from various races, ethnicities, backgrounds, and age groups. Separated into four sections, their individual experiences are presented to the reader in this format.

Reading through this book, I was overjoyed to find multiple other people who have experienced the highs and lows of being who we are. I was humbled as well to read the strife that other enbies had been through to reach the points where they are today. Though we are all bound together under the large umbrella that is non-binary, each of us has a journey all our own. I love the ways in which this collection effectively showcases that.

Each day, new conversations begin regarding gender identity, especially now in 2019. With the visibility of those like us becoming more prominent, I believe this is a book that everyone should read if they are seeking to begin their education on who we are. Though there is much ground to be made, this memoir collection is a testament to how far we’ve all come. I personally plan to recommend this non-fiction title to other non-binary individuals and cis-gendered people alike. As a genderqueer person myself, I love that this book allowed people like me to speak for themselves. I can only hope that those who do not understand will listen.

I rated this book a 5/5 stars on Goodreads.

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I hope this book gets read widely.

While cisgender myself, I am familiar with gender identity, with the idea of gender as a spectrum and people falling at different places, or multiple places, along that spectrum. I am aware that gender is separate from sexuality and also separate from visible gender characteristics and sexual organs, both of which are also nonbinary in their categorization. I know the basics. However, this book and it's long list of memoir short stories really brought home the diversity of people's experiences and feelings within the world of nonbinary gender. Instead of being repetitive, each story was unique and gave greater insight into the variety of experiences that exist.

As I was reading, I was thinking about LGBTQ literature from 20 years ago, and how 90% of the literature (I may be exaggerating as I'm making up this statistic on the spot) was made up of coming out stories, or first-time-falling-in-love-and-struggle-ensues stories, or a combination of both. Now, we are privileged to be in a world where LGBTQ+ characters just exist in stories (and movies, and TV shows) and it's mostly not even a thing, and definitely not THE defining aspect of their personality. Sometimes there are gay characters where being gay isn't even a part of the plotline! Anyway, my point is that while I think this book is needed and necessary, and that nonbinary identities up to this point have been fairly invisible/erased in popular culture, I look forward to the time in the future when nonbinary characters show up in the media and it's not a thing, they're just another character that happens to be nonbinary. I look forward to a time when representation is so great that books that just outline people's nonbinary identity seem unnecessary.

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Every single story in this collection approaches a different side of being nonbinary, each with their own understanding and history with the term itself and gender at large. Each story has its criticisms of society and the strict binarism that it enforces on people, while many also offer a very personal insight into their own journey.

The collection is actually representative of a wide range of people identifying as nonbinary; it addresses race, transmisogyny and the value placed on being passing (and ultimately still adhering to the binary) and the many issues with the value placed on masculine presentations of androgyny in the nonbinary community.
I would suggest this book to people struggling with their identity, absolutely, but also to the allies who may feel disillusioned by the various narratives of nonbinary people, most of which focus on a very specific 'type' of nonbinary expression.

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One of my favorite things about this book was that it included voices from all across the spectrum of nonbinary people.

In my internet bubble, the most visible nonbinary people are like me: white and were assigned female at birth (AFAB). Many, but not all, are middle class or close to it. Me and many of the authors in this book agreed that this is the most visible portion of the non-binary spectrum, but it only represents a small portion of nonbinary people

Non-Binary: Memoirs of Gender and Identity not only included people like, but it also boosted the voices of those who were assigned male at birth (AMAB). It included people of color-- Black, Asian, and Latinx authors.

Because of the range of encompassed in this book, I think most nonbinary people will be able to see echoes of themselves and their experiences show up in this book.

However, I think it is something I hope is widely read by CIS people, by people who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Each narrative is crafted in a way that will show CIS readers what it means to be non-binary.

When I started reading this book, I was almost certain it would be something I could assign for my students to read. However, like most collections of essays, there is too much on the same topic to read in one semester. No matter how good the writing is, a whole book of essays on the same topic always seems to result in my students losing interest before we get to the end, and if I were to assign the book and only read a portion of the essays, they would complain about having spent money on a book we only used part of. The later might not be an issue if I could get them to see the value of the book, so using it isn’t fully out of the equation yet.

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I loved this book so much. It was a delight to read and as a nonbinary identifier myself, made me feel seen and gave me a new understanding of my own identity.

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This honest look into nonbinary identities was extremely relatable at times. I liked reading about the many different experiences that other nonbinary and genderqueer folks have been through. Books like this are so important as more people are identifying beyond the binary and it helps to know we are not alone.

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This just sadly wasn't for me. I just failed to connect with it and thus ended up skim reading most of this book. I didn't retain much but from I retained I could see why people would love this because it is an important read. It just didn't work for me.

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“Most of us were raised to believe that gender is a dichotomy: male and female. But underneath this foundational “fact” lies a complexity we’ve been truing to untangle.”

DISCLAIMER: The book is given by NetGalley, the author and the publisher in exchange of an honest review. All the review written is not related to any personal issues or connection.

TRIGGER: This is a non-fiction book which offers several discourses related to gender through the stories written by several contributors.

Full review: https://literatureisliving.wordpress.com/2019/03/30/non-binary-memoirs-of-gender-and-identity-by-micah-rajunov-and-scott-duane/

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First person life stories, or slice-of-life stories, from nonbinary people. There was a wide range of experiences and of circumstances: complicating factors such as poverty and race not neglected. Of course, I found a few wise, a few very moving. With thirty contributions, and with the editorial eye to difference, you must find stories that resonate or teach.

One chapter jarred for me because it was a parent writing about their nonbinary child. Inevitably (should I be optimistic and write 'almost inevitably'?), somebody writing <i>about</i> a nonbinary person was quite another matter than nonbinary people giving their own testimony.

An excellent resource. Some pieces use more 'gender language' than others but the book is easy to digest as an introduction to the topic, and an appealing read.

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I find reviewing Non-Fiction Anthologies so difficult, because how do you judge someone's truth? Are all the stories in here fascinating and must-reads? Honestly no, and some of them need a bit more editing, but overall I found the collection satisfying.

As a Transwoman who has always felt comfortable within the Binary, I did learn a lot from this and I do really respect those who are brave enough to live their truth. There are some really excellent stories in this, and every one of them is informative, unique and interesting. In reality, I give this book a 4.5 stars rating but due to the importance of it, I'm going to round up to 5 stars.

I think anyone looking to feel solidarity with those who Identify as Nonbinary, or are Nonbinary this is a highly recommended read. Some of the author featured are practically experts and excellent writers, overall a very successful anthology. It made me think a lot about how and why I am so comfortable within the gender binary, and at times made me ponder my own identity. All of which I really appreciated.

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I got an ARC of this book.

I spend a lot of my time reading about binary trans identities. That is the world that makes the most sense to me since I am a binary trans person. I lived in Berkeley for a while and absolutely hated it. I figured out it was because the trans space that was so anti-binary that it became a social death sentence to identify binary. I felt erased and hated. I wanted to read this book to start to put some of my own issues with the nonbinary community aside, since I didn't have any issues with nonbinary people or the movement until I lived in Berkeley. I wanted to feel like the trans community was home again, all of it. This book brought me back to the nonbinary community I was used to. One full of power, love, acceptance, and courage. One that acknowledges that being binary isn't sinful, but it just doesn't work for them. One full of questions, lots of thinking, and lots of experimentation. The sort of community that gives me hope for the trans community, that is will one day come together instead of being filled with in-fighting. 

The book covers really important topics ranging from being trans enough to what a transition looks like to feeling erased by the trans community. All of the feelings I have had throughout my transition being binary. The only difference being I had more support being binary that the nonbinary people in this collection did. I wish I could support them all. I wish I could have been part of the groups they joined trying to find a home. I would have been the first one to welcome them. No trans person should ever wrestle with the idea that they are or are not trans enough. They should never feel like they don't belong in a trans space. We should all support each other. I hope this book finds people who are questioning their gender and their expression. It opens so many doors into what nonbinary could look like and asks so many questions. It will be a great resource for people. 

The book really hit home for me and taught me so much about a world I only ever got glimpses of through friends and my own understanding of gender. It also affirmed something that has been in the back of my mind for years. It also made me feel more comfortable with my own body. I haven't had bottom surgery. This book made me feel less pressure to have  bottom surgery, to conform to the stereotype of a transition. I want bottom surgery, but it opened the door to really question why I want it. Do I want it because that is what I expect trans people to want? Do I want it because it is right for me? This book opens up so many ideas of what it means to be trans. The answer I got was easy: if you feel like you are trans, then you are trans. If you feel nonbinary, you do you. Do whatever sort of transition works for you. Don't be ashamed, don't be afraid, but if you are you are not alone. 

I know this review was all about my binary gender, but that is the only lens I have to understand the people who told their stories. Their stories are not mine, but they had similar themes as my world. I want to be as confident as the people telling their stories.

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Unfortunately, I couldn't finish reading this book. I got stuck about halfway into it and decided to put it down, as it is not a book for me. I thought the stories lacked polishing and rounds of edits. They felt much weaker than they could have been, which is an absolute pity, since my hopes were so high for this collection!

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This collection of short stories written by the many people who live between the binary terms of male and female is a must read. As the parent of a queer son, and as the teacher of students struggling with their identities and places on the binary spectrum, this book was very enlightening. The Introduction was especially informative and well-researched. Knowledge and information about a subject that many of us are unfamiliar with will only help allies support everyone - those who are nonbinary, those who are binary, and everyone in between. And reading the first-hand accounts, testimonies, and stories of those struggling to be understood and accepted in our binary world will help take steps towards empathy, understanding, and acceptance

Thank you Columbia University Press for the opportunity to read and review this advanced copy.

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A great look at individual essays written by non-binary individuals. A great look into the lives of those who do not fit into a binary. I was really intrigued. ARC had formatting issues that are distracting, but fantastic.

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I've been trying to read as much as I can to gain insight into issues and things I haven't previously known or understood completely. When it comes to nonbinary gender identity, I came into this book completely ignorant.

This book is an anthology of essays and short pieces written by people who are nonbinary. I find that I really love this format for topics such as this. It provides a better preview into how people of different backgrounds - race, academic disciplines, socio-economics, etc. - perceive the topic. Most people connect better to people than to abstract ideas, so this is a great way to get your arms around these concepts.

The book read much more casually than those usually published by a university press, too, so I believe it will appeal to a broad audience.

I came away from reading this feeling much more empathy and understanding for those who do identify as nonbinary. I wouldn't have had this opportunity to learn about this perspective come up organically (living in the solidly conservative state of Utah). I highly recommend this book.

Thank you to the editors, Micah Rajunov and Scott Duane, each of the authors, Columbia University Press, and NetGalley for providing me access to this book. As always, all opinions are my own.

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I’m still learning a lot about gender and I feel like reading personal stories about people relating to and exploring gender has been important. I think this was an important book for me to read. It was well written and covered a huge range of issues that obstacles faced by those that exist outside of a gender binary.

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Nonbinary - edited by Micah Rajunov and Scott Duane is a book that is emotional, educational, heartbreaking and thought-provoking all at the same time. While I firmly believe in letting people live their lives the way they want to as long as other people are not harmed by it, I did not know much at all about having a nonbinary identity. This book really gives an insight into how harsh life outside of the binary can be but also how fulfilling it can be to find your place in the world. This book brought me to tears several times but also made me smile on several occasions. I am glad I got to take part in this learning opportunity and recommend it to anyone who wants to have an insight into the feelings and experiences of living outside of the binary.

There are 2 reasons I did not give 5 stars on this review. I wish the book was more consistent on trigger warnings - now, I'm not sure if these were given by the original authors or the editors but nevertheless, it would have been nice if it was more uniform in that sense throughout. I was also not a big fan of the experience that was told by the parent. All of the other stories were told by those that are nonbinary themselves, experiencing it all first hand, but this one was told by the parent of a nonbinary child. It did not fit in with the rest. While it would be interesting to read more experiences by parents, that should be its own book, but I think when those stories are shared, it should also say that they were shared with the child's permission. These things were very personal and it felt inappropriate to read it told by someone else.

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This is a really diverse collection of non-binary voices. People all across the gender spectrum are telling their personal stories, like how they knew they were non-binary, how they came out, how they share their identity with the world in their day-to-day lives and how the world responds to them.

Personally, I have been questioning my gender for quite a long time now. It's a confusing and stressful process, and it really helped me to read this collection, because it showed me that no non-binary experience is exactly the same. There were a few stories that I could really relate to, or that at least had some passages that resonated with me.

Of course, since there were so many different stories, I did not enjoy reading every single one of them. What mostly differed, was the writing style. Some of the stories were pretty dense, and because of that, I had some difficulty getting through those. But overall, this is a very insightful collection, whether you're (questioning) non-binary or whether you just want to know more about what non-binary means.

CWs: transphobia, homophobia

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A collection of essays by and about nonbinary authors. (Incidentally, July 14 is International Nonbinary People's day, so I guess this review comes at just about the right time.) There’s more than just “either man or woman”, and I wish this was more understood, all the more because I have a hard time with the current of hostility exhibited by some people whenever they can’t put others in neat little boxes (doesn’t only apply to gender, but the latter is a definitely a sore spot).

The essays range across a variety of people and assigned genders, and show well that “nonbinary” is not something that only “happens” in specific places, or to specific people. There’s too often a tendency to see all things enby or trans as a “phase”, as something that people should “grow out of”. Here, not all authors are younger people who may be called “too young to know” and who will “stop being confused and change their minds”, the way the usual narrative goes whenever the two little boxes I mentioned above cannot be ticked. Half the authors are at least in their 30s, or even born in the 1950s-60, which goes to show that it’s not a generation thing. The same way, “non-binary” is too often seen as “assigned female as birth who now presents as androgyne”, when the truth is that this concerns many other kinds of people, across all ages, origins, colour and sexuality.

It was really interesting for me to see how all these authors came to understand they were nonbinary. For some, it was obvious very early, others had more trouble putting a name on it, or thought they were looking for transition, and so on. We are formatted from a very young age to see ourselves as either boy or girl, and this formatting can have a strong impact, in that it’s not so easy to sort out what we feel, and the spectre of “having to be normal” weighs heavily. Because you don’t feel like a boy doesn’t mean you’re a cis girl, and conversely. And more visibility (and less dismissal) in general for nonbinary people would be a welcome thing.

In terms of diversity, the one thing I regret here is that it felt like a very US-centric collection, so it doesn’t shed light about what being non-binary may entail in other parts of the world. Maybe it wasn’t possible to get authors from other countries, or maybe it was overlooked? I was also not too thrilled with the chapter told by the parent of a nonbinary teen; I would’ve been more interested in having the direct point of view of Bailey themselves as well, also as someone with the perspective of a teenager.

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I tend to shy away from short story collections, but this topic is one I’ve been actively seeking out to learn more about. I wish there were more content warnings then just sexual assault before some of the stories because other traumatizing things like self harm were present, but not mentioned in the content warning section. Overall I did enjoy this and am glad to see that this the stories chosen were from people of different races, ages, etc instead of just a group of teens because it helps break the stereotype that nonbinary individuals are “new”.

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I grabbed the book to inform myself a bit more, and was wonderfully surprised with the inside.
Informative, insightful.

At first I was going to read it in a book marathon, as a non-fiction contender, but as I started reading it and marking stuff up to search it up a bit more later, and to return to it, I decided that it was a book to be read more carefully and in another pace. Enjoying it and looking deep.

A great read!

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Sexuality, orientation and identity are such difficult, complex things. However, this book managed to encompass the range of how humans navigate them and I came away all the more enlightened.
The book is a proof of how much we have learnt to let go of perceived dichotomies and find the courage to navigate the grey zones between. I hope every one who get this book can read it slowly, for it is not an easy read.

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This book was wonderful just because I and others that read it can find out more about gender and non binary. In the end, no matter who you love (or if you love) you still have fears and doubts or as a character in A Litle Life says "even if he has money, he still has to survive life".

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This is an important book because nothing like it has ever really been seen before. Getting to hear the stories of self discovery from being who really were charting an unknown path was incredible, because I can't even imagine how important having a book like this would be for people going through the same discovery. I had issues with the writing style and pacing of some sections, but I will admit that it adds to the fact that it's people talking about their own, deeply personal experiences.

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This book is so vital. We need more stories of gender diversity, and the stories in this book are very powerful.

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An in-depth group of essays.Informative interesting intimate.An eye opening look a t what it means to be non-binary.Perfect book to educate& discuss highly recommend a book that is really compelling.#netgalley#nonbinary.

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Literature – the writing and telling of stories – has always been a way for marginalised groups to express themselves in ways that mainstream culture would not allow. It allows cis people, like myself, the opportunity to hear from and support nonbinary and trans voices. It allows nonbinary and trans voices to connect and find each other. These words and stories aren’t just validated through the act of writing because I believe those voices and words were valid before they even had to speak. But these stories do offer visibility, strength, support, community, and love. The many gifts that literature affords to people fighting for visibility are also the same things used by authors wishing to harm and invalidate trans and nonbinary voices.

I have tried to think of ways to approach what has been unfolding in the literary world. Famous authors have spoken out of turn. They have tried, and are probably successful, in spreading harmful misinformation about gender, identity, and the trans and nonbinary community. Those authors and minds will not get a mention in this article. They can fucking choke on their millions of dollars earnt with hate speech.

Today’s post is about celebrating the amazing and beautiful voices in literature. There are so many authors and publishers honouring trans and nonbinary stories and this is just one book of many.

Nonbinary was edited by Micah Rajunov and Scott Duane. Micah and Scott are advocates, writers, and researchers. They lend their own stories to the anthology with countless other trans, queer, and nonbinary voices. It was humbling to read their stories.

Riki Wilchins says it best in the Forward of the anthology:

If I am nonbinary, can feminism – the politics of women – still represent me? Can I enter women-only spaces, or men-only meetings? Can I be gay, straight, or bisexual? Here language fails, the entire discourse on gayness and sexual orientation collapses?
p. xii

As a lover of words and literature, I am in awe of what stories can do for us. Although, it is in reading these stories that I am reminded of the limitations of words and literature. We as a society have constructed language and culture in a hetero-cis way. The inbetweenness of identities and the multiplicity of human experiences cannot be expressed with the words and literature we have and know of now. We need new words. We need new stories. We need new voices to guide us.

Often, the language of the nonbinary community reflects the frustrating but necessary process of defining oneself only in opposition to what is already defined.
Rajunov and Duane

We need to flip the whole system upside down. Shake it until every hetero-normative word falls out of its pockets and then fill it with a new language, a new form that doesn’t rely on othering in order for validation.

The trans and nonbinary community deserves more from us cis folks. Freedom to be oneself starts when one can truly feel safe. Right now, our medical system barely supports trans and nonbinary people. We should not, for example, assume that the sole reason for medical intervention in trans and nonbinary lives is to either make them completely ‘pass’ as a new gender, or to beat the nonbinary out of them. There we go again, binaries in everything we do.

Instead of treating people the way we want to be treated, maybe we need to ask people how they would like to be treated by us instead?

As Michal “MJ” Jones points out, “To live in authenticity does something to a person.” What it means to live in authenticity can be different for every person. These autobiographical stories are just some examples of the many ways authenticity can look like. I hope that instead of looking to fuel hatred, you can choose love. Instead of fearing what is different to you, seek out knowledge and stories. Come to those stories with an open heart and compassion.

If you are concerned about how you can support trans and nonbinary folks, why not buy their books? Support their research. Advocate for them in your community. And as always, share the reading love.

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Interesting, but drier reading than I anticipated. I had hoped to be immersed and parts of it were difficult to wade through.

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