Jacob's Room to Choose

Jacob's room to choose tackles the ongoing cultural discussion of gendered bathrooms. The authors explore how gendered differences are established in cultural and how that impacts our young children. Even though the concept might be advanced for very young readers, the authors handle the material in an age appropriate and sensitive way.

I am glad to see more books about gender acceptance entering mainstream children's literature, although I would like to see less message driven books surrounding this topic and more books about kids being kids no matter how or if they identify with any certain gender or stereotype.

The vulnerability of the authors' own struggles will bring insights and encouragement to other parents facing the same issues as well as classroom teachers and communities. A worthwhile book to read and would be a great addition to a parenting section at the library or parent resources in a school setting.

Jacob’s Room to Choose (2019), by Sarah Hoffman and Ian Hoffman, reintroduces readers to Jacob, the protagonist of their 2014 children’s picture book Jacob’s New Dress.

In Jacob’s New Dress the protagonist shares his desire to wear a dress with his parents. They take a little convincing but are quite supportive; in fact, Jacob’s mom helps him sew a dress. Jacob does deal with bullying when he wears his new dress to school, but his best friend Sophie, a supportive girl who reappears in Jacob’s Room to Choose, stands up for him.

In Jacob’s Room to Choose both Sophie and Jacob present nonbinary gender expressions. The brown-skinned curly haired Sophie prefers plaid shirts and khakis to dresses, which pale-skinned wavy-haired Jacob likes best. The two seem confident with their gender presentations until its time to go to the bathroom. In the bathroom they’re bullied by peers who tell them they don’t belong in the gender segregated spaces.

When their teacher finds out about the bullying she prompts the class to think more critically about gender expression, especially binary gender expression, which leads them to realize lots of children do gender differently. The class works together to desegregate the school bathrooms, so everyone is comfortable.

Although transgender and nonbinary children’s use of public bathrooms has made its way into the news, this is the first children’s picture book I’ve seen that explores the issue. It does so in an accessible, age-appropriate way that empowers children to be change makers in their schools!

This is a wonderful book to share with children 4+ and will surely prompt productive discussions about gender, bullying, advocacy, and activism.

Towards the end of library time, Mrs. Reeves asks the class if anyone needs to go to the bathroom before they head back to class. Jacob and Sophie raise their hands. The next page shows Jacob, wearing a dress, standing in front of a door with a pictograph of a person wearing pants. Sophie, wearing pants, is standing in front of a pictograph of a person wearing a dress.

They stopped outside of the bathroom doors.

“Do you think it’s okay?” asked Sophie.

“I don’t know” said Jacob.

Dear readers, it was not okay. Jacob saw two boys washing their hands and knew from their looks that he would not be welcome. Sophie was chased out of the bathroom, told to use the boy’s bathroom.

On returning to the library, Sophie still has to pee and Jacob explains what happened. Mrs. Reeves accompanies them to the bathrooms and then stands watch while they do the things all human bodies demand be done. Rather than becoming an enforcer of the binary, Mrs. Reeves uses the experience as a teaching moment for all the children about being respectful of people no matter how they present.

Jacob’s Room to Choose is a lovely, positive story with engaging and friendly illustrations. The image of Jacob and Sophie standing in front of the gender specific bathroom doors has stayed with me. The pose of the gender-nonconforming children matches the pose of the binary gender pictographs, but they are specifically excluded. Jacob, presenting feminine, and Sophie, presenting masculine, look up, up, up at the symbols that tell them they don’t belong and that not belonging is reinforced by the children inside the bathroom.

Mrs. Reeves teaches a good lesson – bee kind, bee respectful, and bathrooms are for every bunny.

I received this as an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

One shouldn't shame children because they don't fit into the box you think they should. Children need to feel comfortable in their bodies, and if you make it hard for them to feel comfortable doing a simple thing as peeing, then the child is going to try not to pee at school.

In fact, that is what Jacob says, that he rarely uses the bathroom at school.

So the teacher feels this is a "teaching moment" and has the kids think about how they can make the bathrooms all inclusive, and they come up with signs, and slogans.

<img src="https://g2comm.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/jacombs-room-to-choose.png" alt="" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-5294" />

It is a cute picture book about accepting kids that don't fit the norm.

Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.

very child should feel loved, be able to express themselves and see an encouraging environment. Jacob's Room to Choose is a lovely children's book. It is bright, short and shows the exact lessons we want for all the children in our lives. Sarah and Ian Hoffman created some clear characters, support and encouragement in story with the happy conclusions we want in our stories. In a world where kids are often faced with adult problems, this book gives solutions at a child's level. I encourage it for anyone with small children in their lives.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. Thank you NetGalley!
adorable kids book.
we loved the illustrations.
the story was unique & easy to read!

Another great book by this author. The other Jacob book was a big hit and this one will be too. We put out diversity lists and we will make sure to include this one on there

This is actually the second book about Jacob, the first being Jacob's New Dress (which I haven't read). Jacob's Room to Choose, however, stands on its own as a sweet story of gender-nonconforming kids and their fight to pee in peace.

When Jacob (who wears a dress) and his friend Sophie (who wears pants) try to go to the bathroom, they're immediately chased out by kids who think they don't belong there (even though Jacob has tried to use the boys' bathroom and Sophie the girls'; they can't win!). When they tell their teacher what happened, she starts a gentle discussion about gender stereotypes with the class. Can a girl wear pants and still be a girl? Of course! What about a boy with long hair? Is he still a boy? The kids catch on to the idea pretty quickly, and then they come up with all sorts of new signs for the bathrooms ("I have to pee, so let me be!", "Use the bathroom that is comfy 4 u", and, my favourites, "Bathroom with a urinal" and "Bathroom without a urinal"). At the end, with the support of their teacher, classmates, and principal, Jacob and Sophie are finally able to use the bathrooms in peace.

The authors' note at the end, talking about their son, is just heartbreaking, and shows why books like this are needed. (It doesn't matter if he's wearing a dress; a little boy should not have to dodge punches while using the urinal.) The sooner children learn that gender expression isn't some binary thing set in stone, the better... and this book starts off that conversation quite nicely.

This is a great book to teach children and adults about acceptance. “New” concepts can be hard to accept but ignorance is not an excuse.

This book takes a difficult (for some) subject and makes it way simple to understand. Be kind and treat everyone with acceptance and equality.

“Adult issues” are not only ours. These issues affect children and I think it’s fantastic to have a book about children’s dealing with these issues better than many adults.