Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come
One Introvert's Year of Saying Yes
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Pub Date May 28 2019 | Archive Date May 28 2019
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Description
“Charming. Brave. Hilariously honest.” —David Litt, New York Times–bestselling author of Thanks, Obama
What would happen if a self-described “shintrovert” (part shy, part introvert, entirely committed to the sofa) lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life.
Chronicling the author’s hilarious and painful year of misadventures, this humorous memoir explores what happens when one introvert fights her natural tendencies, takes the plunge, and tries (and sometimes fails) to be a little bit braver.
- A year-long real-life experiment in living more boldly
- Honest reflections on introversion, anxiety, and loneliness
- Perfect for fans of Quiet by Susan Cain, Yes Man by Danny Wallace, and The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes — witty, warm, and deeply relatable
- Encouragement for readers (introverted and otherwise) who want to challenge their own comfort zones
- More than a self-help book — Pan's “shintrovert” experiment is backed by real psychology, offering genuine insight into how fear and habit shape the lives we think we're stuck with
- A funny, relatable, and highly readable perspective that respects introversion rather than trying to “fix” it
Grounded in behavioral science and driven by sharp, self-deprecating humor, this is a book for anyone who has ever felt lonely in a crowded city, struggled to make friends after thirty, or wondered what they might be missing by always choosing the sofa.
A Note From the Publisher
We regret that this electronic galley is not available for Kindle viewing.
Available Editions
| EDITION | Other Format |
| ISBN | 9781449499235 |
| PRICE | $16.99 (USD) |
| PAGES | 272 |
Average rating from 177 members
Featured Reviews
Danielle L, Reviewer
Oh man I devoured this story from the very beginning!!! It was hilarious and very relatable! Highly recommend! I will be buying this in hard copy when it comes out.
Abby S, Reviewer
From the opening pages when Jessica Pan warns her husband on her birthday no birthday party I felt a bond with her.My husband can not understand that I never want to celebrate my birthday all that attention.I am seemingly very outgoing but in reality a total introvert..This book was funny moving all introverts will identify with Jessica’s struggles to be more outgoing make friends.be social.Introverts This is the book for you Perfect also for anyone involved with an introvert. #netgalley #andrewmcnealpublishing,
Reviewer 238609
This was a beautiful memoir that being an introvert myself I could relate to on many levels. I found it engaging and a good read. I would recommend it to fellow introverts.
I would like to thank Netgalley and the publisher for providing me with a copy free of charge. This is my honest and unbiased opinion of it.
I knew I needed to read this book when I read this title. This book is written for those of us who secretly delight in the joy of canceled plans. Jessica Pan puts herself out there to explore life as an extrovert, and hilarity ensues.
Emily W, Reviewer
Really great, I could not put this down. I will be recommending it to people! The writing was impeccable. I can’t wait to read more by this author! This is now my favorite collection of short stories.
As a fellow introvert, I can definitely relate to a lot of Jessica Pan's experiences. Pan had a goal of breaking out of her shell and enlisted the help and advice of some experts along the way. Her story is shared with lots of insight and plenty of humor. This book was a lot of fun to read and I learned a few things too.
Thanks to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for the eARC in exchange for my honest review.
Cheryl W, Reviewer
Thank you NetGalley for the ARC
As a somewhat introverted person, I related to this book on so many levels! I felt like Jessica Pan was a kindred spirit for me. I found myself nodding my head in agreement while reading the book and at some points (well most) saying to myself "Oh my god! Me too!"
This is a must read for all introverts and even extroverts because it is laughing out loud funny and also very relatedable!
Really good read. Some interesting points! Enjoyed it. Will post a full review soon on the blog. Great job. Look forward to reading more!
n introvert spends a year trying to live like an extrovert with hilarious results and advice for readers along the way.
What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life. Chronicling the author’s hilarious and painful year of misadventures, this book explores what happens when one introvert fights her natural tendencies, takes the plunge, and tries (and sometimes fails) to be a little bit braver.
Totally loved the book "Sorry I'm Late, I didn't Want to Come". As I am also an extreme introvert, It made me smile. But it also gave me thought to get out and make an effort. I must say, I do have an excuse for everything. In this day you can order weekly groceries online, food delivered, even restaurants and pharmacies. Amazon is a friend.
Love this book. I will be buying the paperback.
Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy for review.
This book caught my eye and I thought it would be a funny read. I think it was ok. A bit of it gets redundant and a bit cheesy, but still a fast read with some interesting points that lead to introspection.
Reviewer 559075
I used to always be outgoing and still am to an extent, but I have become more and more of an introvert over the last few years. This book was funny and I could relate to her. I realize that I should be more of a “yes man” then a no man.
It’s so easy to just stay in and browse through the internet, but this was a nice reminder to get out and about.
Kelly M, Librarian
Never have I felt so connected to a book since I stumbled across Susan Cain’s “Quiet” years ago. Pan does an excellent job making a nonfiction work flow as beautifully as a novel. This was compulsively readable, highly relatable, and thoroughly enjoyable from start to finish.
Upfront, I received a free copy of this book from Net Galley in exchange for possibly reviewing it.
I LOVED this book. I am an Introvert with a Myers-Briggs I. This book was on my TBR as soon as I saw the title. I'm not a shintrovert like the author. I have to pretend to be an extrovert for work, and it is exhausting! What's a shintrovert? Read the book. Still, I could relate to her story on so many levels. Oddly enough, I have also lived in Beijing and London. I know exactly the challenges she's talking about. She is a lot kinder in describing them than I am. I really enjoyed her approach to the personal challenge she set. Besides being funny and entertaining, the book is surprisingly educational. I learned quite a bit, and I felt she really incorporated expert advice so well.
If you are an introvert, read this book. You'll find a kindred spirit. If you are an extrovert but always wondered why introverts do the things they do, read this book. If you don't know what you are, take a Myers-Briggs test first, then read the book.
And Jessica, now that I know many of your deepest, darkest secrets, would it be weird if I still wanted to be friends?
#SorryImLateIDidntWantToCome #NetGalley
Thanks to Andrews McMeel Publishing for the ARC!
Since the first time I saw the cover, I just knew I had to read this book. I’m clearly an introvert too and I immediately felt a connection with the title.
The author tells us about a very tense moment in her life, when her father had an open-heart surgery in LA and she saw herself alone in the waiting room. Her mother was there too, but they only allowed one visitor at a time, so she had to wait by herself for a while. Days later, after crossing the ocean and going back to her home in England, she realized how lonely she was. She wondered what would happen if she had sudden major surgery, with her parents on the other side of the world. She didn’t want her husband to sit there alone in the waiting room. She needed to find more close friends who lived in the same city.
But, who? How? Where?
She talks about a very common issue we face in adult life. Most of us have some really great childhood friends, but we often live too far from each other. Our lives changed a lot since we met. Now we have jobs, husbands, wives, kids, taxes to pay... We shared lots of experiences together, but we're all living different lives now.
We have internet friends, who are amazing, cause we usually share the exact same interests. But again, they live too far away. They probably wouldn’t be able to visit us at the hospital, for example.
Then, we also have friends from work, but not everyone is lucky enough to actually enjoy these people. And honestly, we don’t wanna see the same faces on our days off. We all need a break, right?
So, Jessica decided that she needed to find other creative ways to make new friends. Even being very shy, she just had to put herself out there, just to see what would happen if she tried to be a little bit more extroverted.
She tried a bit of everything. Friendship apps, book clubs, weekly improv classes, networking meetings, travels, stand-up comedy, etc.
She met some great new people along the way, but the most important thing was learning to see herself in a different way. She’s much more confident now. She’s still an introvert, but the idea of meeting new people doesn’t seem so scary anymore.
I loved all her references to tv shows, movies and music. As a big gilmore girls fan, I was very glad to see it being mentioned too.
I really enjoyed this read. :)
I loved this book! Jess' first book 'Graduates in Wonderland' is one of my all-time favorite books.
This one was more thought-provoking than I was anticipating. She writes in such an honest and naturally humorous way that I just adore. Plus she's talking about real things that we all experience and sharing how she's learn to deal with it in a healthier way. This book made me laugh out loud, but also made me really contemplate areas in my life where I have become complacent or have been missing out because I was afraid or thought I wasn't a certain "type of person."
I really appreciate that the moral of this book wasn't "Change who you are! If you're an introvert that's bad and extroverts are BETTER!" But she simply (through vulnerably sharing her own experiences) encourages us all to stop limiting ourselves based on labels or waiting for some day to come when we will be more perfectly suited to step out of our comfort zone.
Overall, such an enjoyable read. I flew through it because in reading this Jess felt like my cool older sister who was sharing wisdom with me and making me laugh and almost cry. Definitely recommend
As an extroverted introvert, I related to this book so much! I recharge by reading books by myself, and while I love my friends, I need that personal time. I laughed out loud and was able to take away several nuggets to push myself. Recommended for both introverts and extroverts.
Media/Journalist 543298
This is a hilarious, totally relatable read. My attention was instantly grabbed by the title, but it was sustained by the humor and heart of the author, not to mention her openness, honesty, and bravery. Highly recommend.
Relatable on so many levels! I flew through this and had so much fun reading it. If you consider yourself an introvert, this is a must buy!
As an introvert, I found this book to be so relatable. I loved that I could see myself in the scenarios as well as be inspired by the author and her stories. Too much fun! Anyone could benefit from reading it.
Librarian 192859
I wanted to immediately give this book to several people as I was reading this laugh out loud memoir by a 30ish “shintrovert” (shy introvert) who decides to undertake a year long experiment being more like an extrovert. It was such a refreshing lesson on connecting with other humans face to face, even when it means having to deal with intimidating strangers in unfamiliar surroundings. Jessica Pan is an American transplant in England. Feeling friendless (aside from her husband), she subjects herself to stomachache inducing ventures that start with talking to random people on the train and advance quickly to doing stand up comedy at The Fringe. Her goal with each experience is to make deep, meaningful connections - to get past small talk and surface friendships. It’s a nerve wracking but ultimately highly rewarding year. As a journalist who lived abroad, travelled and even did a (what she described as failed) stint on TV, I think her introverted nature certainly didn’t stop her from being pretty adventurous. Her willingness to put herself out there in various painful ways is really inspiring. And, she survived! Even had fun! Although I would draw the line at doing a joke monologue on stage, based on how funny she is on paper, I think she obviously had something in her that would make improv and stand up viable challenges. At a minimum, I found myself at a reception recently where I thought to myself, “what would Jessica do?” and made more of an effort to talk to new people. That’s a start!
Reviewer 556704
As an introvert (who pretends to be an extrovert), I can relate to this book. Introverts RSVP yes to parties that they don't actually want to go to and bail at the last moment to watch Netflix. We can relate to Jessica. But then as you get older, how do you make new friends if you are staying home? You say "yes" and actually do them. This book shows all of us that we should also keep plans to make new friends, and become more confident in meeting new people like Jessica. This was a funny, super relatable story that every introvert needs to read to understand how to better them selves. And for every extrovert to read to better understand their "flaky" friends.
Being mainly a fiction reader, I branched out when choosing this book. I am so glad I did! Also being an introvert, it was nice to read this kind of material. I loved it.
Reviewer 550239
This is a book that any introvert can relate to! I enjoyed the light hearted writing style. I'm not a big memoir or confessional reader but I picked this one up based on the premise. I'm an introvert and the idea of saying yes and faking extrovertism sounded so terrifying! I think this could have easily been a series of blog posts or a shorter book. But still a recommended read.
Reviewer 250689
A self-proclaimed "shintrovert" (shy introvert), Jessica is living in London with her husband and feeling lonely now that all of her good friends moved away. She decides to try to live more like an extrovert for a year to see if she can find new good friends. She tries things like talking to strangers, public speaking, an improv class, and hosting a dinner party.
I enjoyed hearing her research and experiences. Some of them made my heart rate increase as some of her activities are high in my avoidance radar. An encouraging, entertaining, and inspiring read for this introvert who has felt lonely at different times to be brave and put myself out there when needed.
Reviewer 338708
I think this book will be relatable to people beyond whether they consider themselves to be introverts. The author does a great job of conveying her struggles with being both shy and introverted (a "shintrovert," she calls it), while at the same time framing it as a personal journey and not a reflection on the many introverted people who are living happy and well-balanced lives. So this book is about getting out of our comfort zones, and growing, and being flexible rather than letting a label predetermine us. It was insightful and courageous, with funny and witty writing. I enjoyed it, and think I would love it as an audiobook!
Thanks to NetGalley for providing an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
The beginning of the book really annoyed me. Introversion =/= social anxiety and I think it’s really important not to mix the two do these things together. Many of her social experiments seemed more to do with her shyness and social anxiety than her introversion. Now that being said. I love that the bulk of her social experiments are all things i've seriously considered doing from Bumble BFF to public speaking. I enjoyed the evidence and research she put behind what she did and how she reached out to different experts to help her out. There were many factoids that I am able to bring into my own person life (did you know it takes 5-8 encounters/hours for someone feel like they are a “friend”?). I enjoyed this a lot and would recommend this to fellow introverts.
A funny and charming account of how shy introvert Jessica Pan spent one year living as an extrovert. This is an easy read as Jessica has the ability to carry you along in her story. You feel as if you are there with her when she climbs on stage and attends networking events to get over her fears. As a fellow introvert (although maybe not to the same extent as Jessica), I really enjoyed learning the mechanics behind how she overcame her anxiety and worries.
Reviewer 564801
I haven't finished a book this quickly for a while. I started and finished it within a day. The writing is conversational and reading it feels like you're hearing a friend talk. The book is grounded by cultural references that made me relate to the author a lot. I could feel the anxiety and the fears of doing all those extroverted things as an introvert, but the accounts also are very inspiring. Jessica doesn't sugarcoat the bad stuff, you get to see the embarrassing moments just as truthfully as the exciting ones.
There's just one thing that kept me from giving it five stars. On her extroversion journey, she meets a lot of people, but I found it hard to keep track of them. Unless her connection to them is described again, I found myself mixing them up even though it wasn't so long ago that I had read about their first meeting. But that's just a minor nitpick I have with the book and even when I'm not sure who Jessica is interacting with, it's an interaction that is delightful to read about nevertheless.
Sarah F, Librarian
I love immersion journalism, and Pan's yearlong experiment to push herself outside of her comfort zone was an enjoyable and inspiring read. She was not claiming anything is wrong with introversion, but she personally wanted to feel less shy. I admired her bravery in trying to (and scary!) things, and I enjoyed her humorous writing.
This is the EXACTLY the book I needed.
I don't think I have ever written a book, but reading this one makes me think I have. I too am a 30 something, shy, introverted, small town Texas girl who has no idea how to have a conversation (that doesn't involve ghosts or dogs) or make friends. I'm not Chinese, Aries or named Jessica (Pan) but I would have been if my cousin hadn't been born first, forcing my Mom to "get creative" and name me Jennifer (Ann) instead. The title of this book caught my attention, because SAME, but I had no idea just how relatable it was going to be! There were SO many times I caught myself nodding along enthusiastically or cringing at how awful some of these experiences she was forcing herself to have were, and just laughing out loud. Literally. I have finished this book inspired to go on an extrovert journey of my own - not today - but maybe someday soon I will be as brave as Jessica is.
This is my daughter's motto, so I had to read the book. It is a self-deprecating look at a person's attempts to break out of her shell. Reminded me of A.J. Jacobs.
Kimberly C, Reviewer
This was a very interesting take on what it is like to be an introvert trying to function in the everyday world. There was some humor and a great understanding of what it is like to be an introvert that gives insight for those who are not.
I was totally intrigued when I saw the title of this book. I am a social introvert and I enjoyed this lighthearted but relatable non-fiction book that read like an engaging novel.
As a shy introvert frequently known as a "shintrovert", Jessica Pan decided to take a year to step out of her shell and enter the "extroverted world". After a family crisis in her family turned into a light bulb moment she realized she was lacking in the friend's department. She decided to take this time to focus on connecting with new people who might just turn into the good friends she was hoping for in her own life.
She shares her trials and tribulations and also the things she learned along the way...many of which, pleasantly surprised her. This book was insightful and humorous and if this title catches your eye, you might enjoy it too!
Thank you to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Account D, Reviewer
Thank you NetGalley and Publisher for this early copy!
I connected a lot with this memoir and Pan's writing style. She went beyond the stereotypical in a great way. I will for sure be reading more of her work in the future. I recommend checking it out, it was informative and well-written. I will be posting a more detailed review soon.
Jessica Pan's memoir feels relatable to me in so many ways. I kept finding myself nodding along as I go through the pages. I enjoyed Jessica's humor and am thankful for the tips to be a bit more "grintovert" in life. Would definitely recommend this to my other "shintrovert" friends.
As an introvert with occasionally crippling social anxiety, I regarded Jess Pan's book warily. I saw the cover online, laughed at the icing-on-the-cake image, and then gave the subtitle a little side-eye. An introvert… saying yes… for a whole year? Say it ain't so.
Alas, Pan pulled me in with enticing hopes of being more extroverted without it costing me my sanity, and I'm very happy I gave this one a chance.
I'll start off by saying that motivational, inspirational books like You Are a Badass and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck are my jam. I love fist pumping my way through and being completely convinced (while sitting quietly alone in my house) that I can conquer all my social-anxiety fears and do anything. And then I put the book down and happily prepare for an afternoon in peaceful solitude. The thing I feel these books have in common is that they were written by extroverts. What makes Pan's work so convincing is that the root of her perceived issues stems from her being an introvert. Yes!
After acknowledging that maybe she could use a bit more of a social life, Pan vows to spend the following year doing things well outside of her comfort zone, including going to networking events where she doesn't know anyone (gasp), meeting women from Bumble BFF for coffee or drinks in the hope of feeling the elusive friend-spark (yikes), taking an improv comedy class (please, no), traveling alone and letting a complete stranger pick the destination (you can't even use a guidebook for help making plans when you get there: double yikes), doing stand-up comedy (I'd rather die), and hosting a dinner party (I mean, at least these people already like her).
I so totally appreciated the lengths Pan went to for this book. Instead of making bold proclamations about how totally rewarding uncomfortable social events can be (*cough* only an extrovert would say this *cough*), she goes out and does the legwork for us introverts reading with apt attention. And guess what: sometimes it really sucks. She had some really awful, panic-inducing, I'd-rather-be-anywhere-but-here moments along the way, but she stuck with it and came out with a group of unexpected new friends to invite to a dinner party.
Pan is the introvert that acknowledges that sometimes introversion is a bit of a problem, makes the resolution to try her hand at extroversion, and faces her fears for an entire year to learn that some of the stuff she was (any many introverts are, I'm sure) afraid of really wasn't that bad. She morphs from a "shintrovert" (shy introvert) into a budding "grintrovert" (gregarious introvert) in hilarious, heartwarming fashion.
Her story is one that will stick with me when I'm dreading a networking event or considering cancelling plans, and I'll recommend her advice to many of my introvert friends.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to read this ARC in exchange for an honest review.
Stephenie F, Reviewer
Being an introvert, this book was a perfect choice for me. I loved how the author challenged herself for an entire year to live outside of her comfort zone and try to become more extroverted. Some of the chapters--like the ones about public speaking and doing stand-up comedy--made me sweat. It was so encouraging to see that she could attempt these extroverted hurdles and live to tell the tale! The author's voice is personal, never judgemental, and always funny. She was never preachy and didn't make me feel like because I am also an introvert that I needed to engage in the same kind of experiment. But I loved reading about her insight and feel that I gained some helpful advice to put myself out there a little more. This book isn't for everyone--I'm not sure that anyone who isn't an introvert would enjoy this book (hence the reason for fewer stars)--but I would highly recommend it for all of the introverts out there.
Kade G, Reviewer
I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you NetGalley!!
Once I saw the word Introvert on the cover, I knew this was the book for me.
What would happen if an introvert lived like an extrovert for a year?
This is a highly relatable memoir about that exact question. As an introvert myself, I can't even imagine how difficult it was to force yourself to say yes and put yourself into the very situations you actively avoid. I applaud her for doing so AND documenting it so we can all read it and hopefully be inspired. This was a comical read, and I envy her coruage for trying.
Seriously, read it! You'll love it too.
Thank you to Andrews McMeel Publishing and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.
I really enjoyed this book - Jessica Pan takes us into her world as a "shintrovert" (shy introvert) and what she experienced during a year of trying to live more like an extrovert. Her writing style is warm, witty and personable, and it's hard to believe that she really is introverted and shy. I am definitely more of an extrovert, and found hearing her side of the story very illuminating, in terms of being a better friend to introverts.
From the reviews I saw before I read the book, I understand some people thought it would be more scientific and go into mental health aspects like anxiety, panic attacks etc. and give advice on that level - and it most certainly is not, nor does it pretend to be. The author does consult various experts on how to overcome challenges (talking to strangers, networking etc.) and I liked the way she works lots of facts and statistics into the narrative without bogging it down. There is also a short bibliography included at the back, although this is not footnoted in the text of the book.
Overall - well-written and highly recommended!
Jessica Pan is an introvert and it is extremely difficult for her to make friends. She bails on engagements, is terrible at small talk, and the only friend she really has his her husband Sam.
She decides to change all of this by going out into the world and researching the best ways to connect to people and gives herself a year to really make a change.
This books takes her from Improv to learning how to have a meaningful conversation with another person.
It’s lighthearted, funny, and a bit of a self-help book. I don’t think you have to be introvert to truly appreciate this book. You can be just a human wanting to better your connections with others.
*I received an ARC of Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come from Andrews McMeel Publishing vía NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Overall, this was a very entertaining memoir with plenty of fun and relatable stories. I felt like Jess and I have a lot in common and she seems genuinely funny and interesting. I also like that on top of being a memoir, this book included a lot of well-researched studies and interviews from psychologists, therapists and other experts who helps Jess on her journey of extroverting. I really enjoyed this book and would recommend it to other introverts and extroverts who are looking for different ways to be more extroverted and make new friends.
I wouldn't really recommend this to highly introverted and sensitive individuals though. My boyfriend, for example, is super introverted and when I told him about this book, just the thought of wandering around the subway talking to strangers made him uncomfortable and gave him anxiety. For me, doing improv and stand-up is where I draw the line but it's still interesting to read another introvert's experience in overcoming their introverted fears (besides, Jess ended up having a lot of fun doing improv and stand-up, so I'm happy for her).
I really liked this book. The author, an introvert, pushed herself to extroverted things. This was a fun, light hearted read. I did find it a bit repetitive at times. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for this ARC.
This book is so good and light hearted thanks Netgalley and the publisher for letting me get a copy for an honest review. I thought it was light hearted a quick read. The author an introvert pushing herself to do extrovert things was a good thing for me to read because I am also an introvert and it kind of Gave me a push to try and do more extrovert activities.
Thank you NetGalley and the publisher Andrews McMeel Publishing for a free digital version of this book to review!
Rating (on a scale of 1 to 5, 5 being excellent)
Quality of writing: 4
Pace: 3
Enjoyability: 4
Insightfulness: 4
Ease of Reading: 4
Overall rating: 4 out of 5
pam s, Reviewer
As a fellow introvert, and completely understanding where she comes from, I have to say I truly enjoyed this book. Not only was I was amazed at how many things Jessica tried during this experimental year, but I am also inspired! I laughed, I shook my head, I got a little teary towards the end. Although I liked this book a lot, there were times when it seemed to drag along. Overall this was a fun read and I'm glad I had the opportunity to read it. Thank you to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for a digital arc of this book. And Jessica Pan - I want to be one of your friends and come to your next dinner party!!
Exactly what I hoped for in this book! If you're an introvert, you'll relate well to the habits and quirks of introverts ( and may take some comfort in knowing how common introversion is.) It's a formula that often works very well -- I'll spend a year doing x, and write a book about it -- and in this case it works well. This book also helped me understand the highly-introverted people in my life, as I added another layer of value to this book. This book deserves all the good buzz it's getting, and an enormous value here is getting people to think about and read about introverts. They've been misunderstood for a very long time, judged harshly in some instances, and are easy targets for being cast aside. I liked this fresh look into introversion from multiple angles and find it to be a terrific book club pick since there's so much to discuss: do you really need to 'overcome' introversion entirely? Where is the line for YOU? Maybe it's not something that needs to be fixed. Maybe pushing into discomfort a little bit is a smart choice for all aspects of your life, but if you want to be introverted at times, and you give yourself permission to be in your own peace, that can be a wonderfully healing place to be.
Thank you to the publisher and to NetGalley for the review ARC. This is a good one.
I absolutely loved this book. From the start I was captivated by the writing style and stories and there were many laugh-out-loud moments for me as I read.
I am not usually a big fan of the yearlong quest genre, but even though this book loosely fits that category, to me it is much more. The main focus is on what happens when an introvert makes an effort to stretch beyond normal comfort levels and engage with people in a variety of life circumstances and using many different methods, sourced from various experts.
The author decided to spend a year doing things that put her in uncomfortable social settings to see if she could relieve her loneliness. She shares both her successes and her failures in a series of often-humorous scenarios. I appreciate the balance she offers and most importantly, I leave this book inspired to try some of her methods for myself. I am unlikely to become a standup comic but I definitely can see myself purposefully being more outgoing and really working to have deeper conversations.
Very relatable book. I have often found myself going “I don’t want to do this” about certain social obligations and the author nailed it on the head.
I'm an introvert who isn't shy... I can talk to strangers, public speak (I do it for my work), and host a party, it's just exhausting. I wanted to see someone else's way of looking at the world, and Jessica Pan certainly delivered.
Shy people have always confused me. I just can't find the give-a-damn inside me to care what a stranger thinks about me. I don't judge shy people negatively, I know there are things about my personality that they wouldn't understand. Pan does an admirable job of putting me inside her mind, so I can see the world with her understanding, even if I don't agree with it.
The only thing I didn't like about the book was the way time jumped forward, but I know everyday life is boring to an outsider. She concentrated on the interesting bits, and they were certainly interesting. Just hard to follow when it seems months went by without an update or lesson learned.
Overall, great story and well written.
**I received this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
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