Bouncing Back from Rejection
Build the Resilience You Need to Get Back Up When Life Knocks You Down
by Leslie Becker-Phelps
Pub Date 30 Jan 2020
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Go beyond your fear of rejection to develop confidence, compassionate self-awareness, and resilience!
Do you have a fear of rejection? If so, you aren't alone. But if you have difficulty bouncing back after rejection, experience intense pain as a result, or if the fear of rejection is so crippling that it interferes with your everyday life, it's time to make a change. This groundbreaking guide can help.
With this book, you'll learn why you fear rejection by gaining an understanding of your unique attachment style. Secure attachment is defined as a feeling of being protected and well-cared for. People who experience secure attachment as young children are more likely to be happy, healthy, and resilient adults. On the other hand, insecurely attached people are less likely to cope well with rejection, and may have trouble "bouncing back" after difficult experiences. Once you understand how your attachment style has informed your fears, you can begin the work needed to overcome them!
Using the theory of attachment, and the five domains of awareness: Sensations, Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, and Mentalizing (STEAM), you'll learn to relate to yourself and to others in more positive ways, even when difficult situations arise. So, whether you experience rejection in a romantic relationship, at work, or with friends, you'll have the resilience needed to recover quickly and focus on what makes you special and unique.
This isn't a book that promises to protect you from future rejection. Unfortunately, rejection happens to everyone and is a normal part of life. But you will learn skills to handle this rejection and come to see it as less scary. With this view, you'll gain confidence, self-awareness, and the resilience needed to bounce back, even when life throws you a curveball.
“All of us hurt when we are rejected. But for some, this experience is so crushing that it is not clear how to ever bounce back. In this well-written and carefully crafted book, Leslie Becker-Phelps invites readers on a psychological and social journey in which rejection and fear of rejection are allowed to shine a light on how we relate to our own experience. All of it—including our sensations, thoughts, emotions, actions, and the mentalization of ourselves and others. By learning to take a self-compassionate approach to experience, the reader is shown in a step-by-step way how to turn rejection into greater attachment and connection—with others and with your deeper self.”
—Steven C. Hayes, PhD, Foundation Professor in the department of psychology at the University of Nevada, Reno; codeveloper of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT); and author of A Liberated Mind
“This book is very helpful for those who have recently been rejected or who would just like to have healthier relationships with others. Grounded in solid psychological theory and research, it unpacks why we get stuck in old patterns and how to get unstuck. Highly recommended.”
—Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor in the department of educational psychology at The University of Texas at Austin
“This book gets right to the heart of overcoming rejection sensitivity—compassionate self-awareness. Using exercises that are easy to apply in daily life, Becker-Phelps offers a positive pathway to feeling more safe and secure in our relationships. She also unpacks in accessible prose the important connections between attachment theory and self-compassion practice. Highly recommended!”
—Christopher Germer, PhD, Harvard Medical School/Cambridge Health Alliance; author of The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion; and coauthor of The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook