The average person will spend 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime–unless it kills them first. Or throws them through time, converts them to a soul-sucking, dimension-hopping sorcerer, or simply obliterates them at a sub-atomic level. In the eighteen stories that follow, half-orc bounty hunters merge with NAFTA regulations and aliens take much-needed coffee breaks. Do elves file TPS reports? Can a robot have a work-spouse? Add love, regret, friendship, the inevitable sternly worded HR email, and an arsenal of guns, death rays, explosives, necromancy, and… Santa Claus. Work gets weird when taking it offline requires structural sabotage and best practices include outsmarting The Devil. Refreshments will be served with a side of eldritch chaos. No experience unnecessary. Proactive dynamic self-starters wanted.