Radical Marriage: Your Relationship as Your Greatest Adventure
by David and Darlene Steele
Pub Date 10 Oct 2014
rad.i.cal (adjective): very different from the usual or traditional
What kind of marriage do you want?
Most couples don’t want an ordinary, boring, routine relationship. They want excitement, fun, closeness, love.
When we get married we make vows to be together until death do us part, but 50% of marriages don’t or can’t keep that commitment. We have a dream or vision of how we want our life together to be. If we don’t believe our dream is possible we feel hopeless, stuck, and eventually leave the marriage mentally, emotionally, and often physically.
Happiness vs. Fulfillment
It’s fascinating that what made us happy before eventually becomes no longer good enough. This is because there’s a difference between “happiness” and “fulfillment.” Happiness is transient and what makes you “happy” can change from moment to moment, while “fulfillment” is about meeting deeper needs and is more lasting.
So, What is a “Radical Marriage”?
What does a Radical Marriage look like? No-one really knows because this is largely uncharted territory and individual for each couple. You can see glimpses in other couple relationships when they seem incredibly connected and in love, long after their honeymoon. These are the couples that inspire you to think “I want to be like THAT!”
We identify six keys areas of a Radical Marriage that are covered in this book-
1. Radical Commitment (Chapter 3):
Beyond your marriage vows you both are absolutely 100% committed to your marriage no matter what, and you are as committed to your partner’s happiness as your own. You each take 100% responsibility for the relationship, your experience in the relationship and for your outcomes in the relationship.
2. Radical Communication (Chapters 4-6):
You know how to effectively exchange information so that it is thoroughly understood, and you know how to resolve differences and move on from conflict to get on with the serious business of fulfilling your dreams.
3. Radical Intimacy (Chapter 7):
You are completely transparent to your partner, don’t hold anything back, and share all your thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, fantasies and desires.
4. Radical Romance (Chapter 8):
You continually express your love, appreciation, attraction and adoration for your partner in words and actions and don’t take your relationship for granted or allow passion to be replaced by routine.
5. Radical Sex (Chapter 9):
Beyond satisfying physical urges, you consciously seek and experience emotional, physical, and spiritual connection every day, continually exploring new ways to express love and pleasure your partner and allowing yourself to be loved and pleasured.
6. Radical Living (Chapter 10):
Beyond survival and comfort, you consciously design your lifestyle together, develop your shared vision and goals, devote time and resources to realizing your dreams in each moment together as well as prioritizing your goals and preparing for your future. You are aware of how short your time is on this planet and savor each precious moment of life and being together.
Is a Radical Marriage For You?
Radical Marriage requires a strong relationship, so if yours is struggling you must focus on the basics. Radical Marriage requires a willingness to take emotional risks, which can induce stress when you’re more wired for routine. It requires inviting and embracing evolution and change, which is against the grain for those who would rather watch TV, drink beer, and fall asleep on the couch.
Radical Marriage is for couples who believe that they are together for a reason, which is to experience life to the fullest through their relationship.
"Radical Marriage provides clear ideas, easy strategies to follow, and a 'radical' new paradigm for creating the relationship of your dreams."
- Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., Co-authors of Making Marriage Simple
"Radical Marriage is an accessible and clear description of the steps for relationship success with many easy-to-follow strategies for making life and love better."
- Don Ferguson, Ph.D. author of Reptiles in Love and The Couples' Manual
"Radical Marriage is for couples in good marriages who envision something wonderful for their future together. The Steeles have given us a manifesto and road map for marriage as a more perfect union."
-William J. Doherty, Ph.D., Professor of Family Social Science, University of Minnesota, author of Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart
"Is your marriage where you want it to be? This book will challenge you to take it to the next level, beyond where you ever thought it could be. Your marriage can be more - wonderfully more, extraordinarily more, radically more!"
-- Greg and Priscilla Hunt, BetterMarriages.org