The Perils of Girlhood
A Memoir in Essays
by Melissa Fraterrigo
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Pub Date Sep 01 2025 | Archive Date Aug 31 2025
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Description
A handsome swim coach’s advances, an anxious daughter soothing her father’s temper, the history of Mace, and the joy of female friendship: these are some of the memories that shape Fraterrigo’s worldview as an adult. Written with lyricism and insight, The Perils of Girlhood provides a reckoning and a reclamation. And while these personal narratives developed from Fraterrigo’s desire to guide her daughters, their universal truths compel us to consider how best to bring all of our daughters into the future.
Advance Praise
“This gorgeous, shattering, hopeful, sorrowful, soulful book is about the perils (and glories) of girlhood, yes, but also of motherhood and daughterhood, womanhood, life. I dare anyone to read it without a frequent—maybe constant—shiver of oh yes, me too. Whether Melissa Fraterrigo is writing about the excruciations of adolescence, the highs and lows of love and marriage, self-image, friendship, extreme dieting, or the daily just-below-the-surface drumbeat of worry that’s so often baked into motherhood (not an inclusive list!), she is writing from the heart, beautifully and heartbreakingly and oh-so-smartly.”—Michelle Herman, author of If You Say So
“In this striking collection, Melissa Fraterrigo offers intimate essays examining her youthful fears and desires and the complex challenges facing her now as she parents twin girls. The Perils of Girlhood is an essential meditation on how we raise our daughters, in a voice that is clear, honest, and wise.”—Dinty W. Moore, author of Between Panic and Desire
“The Perils of Girlhood will generate conversation that parents of daughters and sons find challenging. Melissa Fraterrigo’s wisdom, painfully achieved, is important to pass on to the next generation, to strengthen the way we honor ourselves, both in how we are treated and the way we treat others.”—Abigail Thomas, author of Safekeeping, A Three Dog Life, and Still Life at Eighty
“Through a crystalline rendering of an eighties girlhood (bran cereal and the Barbie Style Head, Judy Blume and Jean M. Auel, aerosol hairspray and Zinka, Judd Nelson and Rob Lowe, too much exercise and too little food) and onward into a writing career and motherhood, the essays in Melissa Fraterrigo’s The Perils of Girlhood navigate the complexity of a life lived in a female body with the kind of clarity and empathy that both brings me back—I mean, Fraterrigo gets me—and helps me to see a way forward.”—Jill Christman, author of If This Were Fiction: A Love Story in Essays
“This collection is a subtle subversion of the conservative political narrative that women’s lives are inconsequential, and somehow interchangeable. These compelling essays about sexuality, home life, coming of age, and the interior life are not always in-your-face, but they are always in-your-soul.”—Sue William Silverman, author of Acetylene Torch Songs: Writing True Stories to Ignite the Soul
“The Perils of Girlhood is a reckoning with self and world, with girlhood as well as womanhood—and motherhood—and the violence that hovers at all times around the periphery and occasionally breaks through. Marked by their raw honesty and precision, these essays transcend the purely personal and speak to the complexities and challenges of being a woman in our current cultural moment.”—Steve Edwards, author of Breaking into the Backcountry
“Melissa Fraterrigo writes of a friend, ‘Near her, everything loosens and I feel sixteen again,’ which is how I feel reading (and rereading) The Perils of Girlhood. How I wish this book had been given to me when I was a girl—to make sense of the simmering frustrations with wanting and resenting male attention, with accepting others’ anger while denying one’s own, with trying to be agreeable and likable and perfect. The Perils of Girlhood is a necessary book that I will recommend for years to come.”—Jeannie Vanasco, author of Things We Didn’t Talk About When I Was a Girl
Available Editions
EDITION | Other Format |
ISBN | 9781496242204 |
PRICE | $21.95 (USD) |
PAGES | 184 |
Links
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews

Personal, yet universal, these essays perfectly capture girlhood in the contemporary era. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this part-memoir part-collection of essays. Particularly resonant in the ways Fraterrigo depicts coming of age under the male gaze. Beautiful, thought provoking, and truly unique.

The Perils of Girlhood leads readers through experiences common to many girls and women, especially those who grew up in the 80s and 90s. While the author's life experiences are the focus of this collection, each "chapter" will resonate with readers on a deep level. "More Like Dad" and "The Elements of Fiction" were particularly poignant, highlighting the different ways in which men impact our sense of womanhood and identity. Each story shows the areas where our society has failed in extending empathy and compassion towards young women or women experiencing crisis in particular.
Overall, a strong collection that will appeal to many!

This book is like talking to your friend after a long time away from them. I loved the random stories that all tied together in the end.

Book Review: The Perils of Girlhood: A Memoir in Essays
by Melissa Fraterrigo
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)
Overview
Melissa Fraterrigo’s The Perils of Girlhood: A Memoir in Essays is a searing, introspective collection that dissects the complexities of female coming-of-age in contemporary America. Through a series of interconnected essays, Fraterrigo navigates the treacherous terrain of girlhood—its vulnerabilities, violences, and quiet rebellions—with unflinching honesty and lyrical precision. The book functions as both personal narrative and cultural critique, exposing how societal expectations, gender norms, and systemic inequities shape the female experience from adolescence to adulthood. Fraterrigo’s voice is at once intimate and analytical, blending memoir with social commentary to create a work that is as intellectually rigorous as it is emotionally resonant.
Themes and Content
Fraterrigo explores:
-Bodily Autonomy and Violence: Examines the pervasive threats to girls’ physical and emotional safety, from street harassment to institutional neglect.
-Identity Formation: Traces the author’s evolving self-conception amid conflicting messages about femininity, ambition, and worth.
-Memory and Trauma: Investigates how girlhood experiences linger, distort, and resurface in adulthood, shaping relationships and self-perception.
-Resilience and Resistance: Highlights moments of defiance and self-preservation, offering a counter-narrative to victimhood.
The collection’s power lies in its refusal to sanitize or simplify; Fraterrigo embraces contradiction, portraying girlhood as both a site of profound harm and unexpected agency.
Writing Style and Structure
Fraterrigo’s prose is taut and evocative, balancing visceral detail with reflective depth. The essays vary in form—some are narrative-driven, others more fragmentary or experimental—mirroring the disjointed, nonlinear nature of memory itself. This structural flexibility allows Fraterrigo to explore her themes from multiple angles, though a few transitions between essays feel abrupt, leaving certain threads underdeveloped. Her background in fiction shines through in her keen eye for scene-setting and dialogue, which ground even the most abstract reflections in tangible reality.
Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
-Emotional Precision: Fraterrigo articulates nuanced, often unspoken experiences of girlhood with remarkable clarity.
-Cultural Relevance: Timely and timeless, the book speaks to ongoing conversations about gender, power, and trauma.
-Stylish Experimentation: The varied essay forms keep the collection dynamic and engaging.
Weaknesses:
-Uneven Pacing: A few essays feel truncated, their ideas deserving more space to breathe.
-Limited Intersectionality: While deeply personal, the memoir occasionally lacks explicit engagement with how race, class, or sexuality intersect with the author’s experiences.
Section
Scoring Breakdown (0–5)
-Originality: 4.5/5 – A fresh, inventive approach to memoir and feminist critique.
-Emotional Impact: 4.5/5 – Potent and lingering, with moments of profound recognition.
-Thematic Depth: 4/5 – Rich exploration, though some societal dimensions could be further developed.
-Narrative Cohesion: 3.5/5 – The essay structure sacrifices some continuity for thematic range.
-Accessibility: 4/5 – Both personal and analytical, appealing to a broad audience.
Final Verdict
The Perils of Girlhood is a vital addition to contemporary feminist literature, offering a raw, eloquent testament to the trials and tenacity of growing up female. Fraterrigo’s ability to weave the personal with the political ensures that her memoir resonates far beyond her individual story. While the collection’s fragmented structure may not satisfy readers seeking a traditional narrative arc, its intellectual and emotional rewards are undeniable.
★★★★☆ (4/5) – A piercing, necessary exploration of the dangers and delights of girlhood.
Thank you to NetGalley and the author, Melissa Fraterrigo, for providing a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
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