Another fantastic sapphic fantasy novel from Tamara Jerée!

The first chapter of this book reads like a fever dream, and that feeling is then spread through the rest of the prose, intensifying as the end approaches— the effect is intensely atmospheric and deeply enthralling.

The narrator feels like she is in a haze, and this seems to be intentional. It leads to some frustrating decisions on her part, but those decisions force both her and the reader to confront the truth of the story: It is about coming to terms with grief, and an illustration of all the ways that unresolved grief can warp one’s inner world.

That being said, I would be remiss not to mention Jerée’s tendency to return to one of my favorite themes, that being the guilt and repression queer women often experience alongside our sexual desires. The romantic plot serves partly as a way to explore this as Carlotta’s desires, hidden her whole life, are finally realized. The romance remains very sweet and full of unabashed devotion throughout the book; there are no petty jealousies or third-act breakups to be found here. The sex scenes are frequent and baked into the plot, but not so explicit as to classify this as erotica. It’s not closed-door or fade to black by any means, but the nitty-gritty details are left just vague enough.

Additionally, while I can’t speak with any authority on this, I feel compelled to compliment the way Black people are represented in this book. It’s woven very smoothly into the exposition in ways that are unambiguous but not heavy-handed— no vaguely “golden-skinned” fantasy characters here.

Thank you to Netgalley and Water Sign Books for the e-ARC of this book! Truly a treat to read— I will be pre-ordering a physical copy.

The Flowers I Deserve is easily one of the best high fantasies I’ve read this year, and it reminded me why I love this genre so much.

Carlotta is a girl who has already endured too much loss, first her mother and then her father. With nowhere else to turn, she’s taken in by a group of clerics who discover her rare and dangerous “gift.” Like her mother before her, Carlotta is a Poison Girl—but where most can only sense toxins in food, she alone can draw poisons from people’s bodies, holding that pain inside herself. She lives a modest, almost small life with the clerics until the day a mysterious woman in red arrives, offering her a place in the castle. From that moment, her world begins to open up in ways she never imagined.

Tamara Jerée’s writing had me hooked from the start. The worldbuilding feels rich and layered without ever being overwhelming, and the interplay between characters is sharp, emotional, and compelling. I’ll admit there were moments when Carlotta came across a little flat or even a bit whiny—but those small frustrations were completely eclipsed by how much I adored the King and the other Poison Girl. Their presence added so much depth, heart, and tension to the story that I found myself savoring every scene they were in.

The sapphic romance is exactly what I hoped it would be: tender, powerful, and perfectly balanced with just the right amount of spice. It never overpowered the plot, but it added an emotional weight that made the story even stronger.

Honestly, I would read anything Tamara Jerée writes—even her grocery list. This book pulled me in and didn’t let me go, and it left me certain that Jerée is an author whose work will live on my shelves permanently. I’ll be proudly buying a shelf trophy copy of this one.

4.25 stars

You know when you see an absolutely stunning book cover, so obviously you have to buy it, but then you read it and it's nothing but disappointing? Yeah, that's not what happened here. While you shouldn't judge a book by its cover in most cases, you can definitely do that here. The beauty and intrigue of the cover seeps into the story itself. Tamara Jerée is an amazing author and weaves together her amazing prose, interesting characters, and intriguing story to create something wonderful. The lyrical writing adds to the dreamy/trippy vibes throughout the book. Each character is layered and complex, and the mysteriousness of King Emelia adds even more that pulls you in. Something I really enjoyed that I don't see done very much is how Jerée crafted her intimate scenes. While I do enjoy a descriptive, dirty, smutty scene, I also really appreciate what was done here. The author seems to focus more on the feelings, vibes, and sensuality of the characters in these moments of intimacy and I really loved that. This is marketed as a dark fantasy erotica, but it is so much more than that and it is so worth the read. Definitely check this one out.

4.5 stars rounded up

✨ Adult Sapphic Gothic Fantasy
✨ First Person POV
✨ 4.5/5 Spice Level (see review for more details)
✨ Standalone
✨ Rep: sapphic rep, polyam rep, BIPOC rep

I recommend if you enjoy…
- atmospheric, moody gothic fantasy
- character-driven novels
- eroticism
- vibe-y reads
- themes of grief

General thoughts…
I hadn’t read a book by Tamara Jerée before, but the cover of this book is absolutely breaktaking… I couldn’t help myself. It’s advertised as FFF which is something I tend to be a bit more selective about. I love a gothic fantasy though, so I wanted to give this book a go! (And did I mention that the cover is stunning?!? I can’t say I don’t judge books by their covers, unfortunately…) There are some strong themes of grief as well that resonated with me and is something I typically enjoy in a book.

Some things I loved…
- The writing, it felt so moody, atmospheric, and euphoric. It was as if the main character was in a dream state for the entire book. To some extent I’m not entirely sure what was real and what wasn’t… which is 100% something I enjoy in a book. There was a lot open for interpretation and a lot of ~vibes, and I love both of those things.
- There is an insane amount of eroticism and sensuality in this book (and it’s advertised as being spicy/erotic. At a certain point in the book, there is an atmosphere of “free love”, and while the spicy scenes could have leaned heavily toward erotica they weren’t overly graphic. Instead the spice felt heady, like being coated in thick, sticky syrup, sweet at times and scandalously sticky at others. I really felt pulled into those moments and they fit the vibe of the story well. Somehow avoiding being gratuitous despite the gratuitous amount of spice these characters were getting into.

Some things to consider…
- The romance is loose. Clearly King Emilia cares a great deal for her poison girls, but there are also other dynamics at play. There is a pretty significant power imbalance, and King Emilia is obviously getting some pretty significant benefits of protection from the poison girls. This might not be everyone’s cup of tea, and there is basically no monogamy (if that’s your preference). That being said, there are absolutely feelings involved from multiple characters.
- Along with the above, there is some insta-love and insta-attraction with may not resonate well to some readers. I think it worked out alright considering the intoxicating and dream-like quality of the story and writing.

Final thoughts…
This felt like a book I needed. I was in a bit of a reading slump, and this absolutely got me out of it. It read unlike any book I’ve read in a long while and quenched a thirst I didn’t know I had. The vibes were there for me, and I’d be interested in reading more books by Tamara Jerée.

Tamara Jerée is an incredible talent. Their prose is gorgeous and the worlds they build are haunting and full. This book is perfect for those whole love their romance with a sheen of that old gothic flavor, and with a good monster thrown in for good measure.