When I First Knew

"When I First Knew", by Joan Alden, has stollen my heart!!!!!!!!!

I was so moved after reading this story - and with the author who wrote it, I wanted to know more. Was this a true story? Has Joan written other books?
I also didn't didn't want to say good-bye Abby Harper. I miss her already!!!

I didn't find much, about Joan Alden, but I did find this:
"In 2010, Alden set out to write her autobiography. "When I First Knew" tells the story of her early years from 1951 to 1957 when she began to express herself as a young lesbian, long before the words gay and lesbian were adopted by the community. Strictly speaking, the book is a creative memoir because the sub-plot is fiction.
"When I First Knew" is Abby Harper's journey of self discovery in the 1950s with all the challenges of being different in an era of conformity, identity confusion, bullying, and the heartache of shame and rejection, which exist today in spite of new understanding and acceptance of the LGBT community. Abby's story, both brutally honest and heartwarming, is told in Joan Alden's voice as a young girl, writing letters to and imaginary friend, *Tweed*. The story rings true today as it did yesterday and will tomorrow, for the conflicts that arise from being different play out in the lives of young and old, gay and straight still. The title of the book echoes the first question gays, lesbians, and transgender's are asked, 'When did you first know'".

About the storytelling itself:
It's terrific!!!!!! This small book is packed filled with 'stories' - characters' - seasons - as we learn 'highlights' from 1951 to 1957 . BABY BOOMERS will get a treat reading this gem the way Joan crafted this book.There is something in here for all ages and all HUMAN IDENTITY!

I had one of those 'Whoaaaa Poney' moments...when the author ( within the storytelling), turned my thinking upside down - inside & out. Abby's mother isn't a likable character - for much of the book. She has a hard time accepting Abby as she is. She wants her to wear skirts & dresses instead of jeans. She wants her to bake cookies --develop her domestic skills --not play sports....etc.
Abby becomes friends with a girl at school ... whose mother was loving and accepting of her. Sounds great doesn't it? Did to me to...
Then something happens....
The WAY in which our little heroine, Abby, justifies & understands her friends hurtful behavior toward her is mature beyond years. She realizes her own mother ( funny how things backfire), actually prepared for the challenges of facing rejection for being different. Her friends mother ...on the other hand was 'soft'... so, at the first sign of teasing.. ( kids being insensitive... Borderline Bullying), towards her...was just too hard for her to deal with on any truthful level. Abby's friend Martha wasn't strong enough to continue her friendship with her.

*Grandma Baldwin, Daniel, ( older friend of Abby's) Kate & Ted, ( siblings), teachers in the school, secrets, other hidden shame, and 'mom'.. .. all add to this unforgettable WONDERFUL BOOK.

MOTHERS might want to read this book ( another reason to unite...rather than compete). What we 'think' is best for our children ( over loving?)...does not always prepare them for the world. On the other hand.. no kid likes to grow up being criticize for being who they are.
How do we find an honest balance of raising responsible prepared kids for the challenges they will face in the world.

A few fun tidbits:
1951: "Catcher in the Rye", by J.D. Salinger was first published "The United Nations General Assembly declares China an aggressor in the Korean War 1952: "The Honeymooners debuts on TV "The Detroit Lions are the National Football League Champions, beating the Cleveland Browns 17-7.
1953: "Joseph Stalin dies"
"The Korean War Ends"
"Ann Davison becomes the first woman to sail solo across the Atlantic"
1954: "The first mass vaccination of children against polio is administered" "TV Dinners are introduced 1955: "The Vietnam War begins"
"Albert Einstein dies".
"Disneyland opens"
"The Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup "A gallon of gas cost 23 cents".
1956: "Dwight D Eisenhower is reelected". "The Cuban revolution begins"
"Elvis Presley appears on 'The Ed Sullivan' show" 1957: "The Soviet Union launches Sputnik I, the first satellite to orbit the earth"
"Leave it to Beaver", debuts on TV "The Mackinac Bridge, the worlds longest suspension bridge at the time, opens"
"Dr. Seuss's Cat in the Hat is published

Empowering...and Hopeful!!!

Thank You Dog Ear Publishing LLC, Netgalley, and Joan Alden

Review:

It’s starting to get to me how unfair life is when it comes to boys and girls.
A profound statement from a 7-year old girl speaks a lot about the society that was prevalent at that time and still exists currently. I love a book which has a statement to make, a story to tell. This is one of those book that you have to read, because words from an innocent heart strikes metal harder than a piece of hot metal.

The book can be described as a fictional narrative of memoir format where the lead character Abigail Harper tells the story of her upbringing in a narrow-minded society. The poignant narrative style is quite effective in bringing out the character and helps the readers in forming a bond with her. I did note a large number of grammatical and punctuation errors, though I wasn’t sure if it was intentional to depict a young girl’s style of writing to her imaginary friend or it was an unconscious effort on behalf of author due to her involvement with the story.

But Mom said, “That’s not the sort of thing you should be doing anyway.”
“Why?” I said angry.
“Keep it up”, she warned me, “and it won’t matter how pretty you are, the boys won’t be interested.”
The clarity of the language definitely helps in maintaining the flow of the story in first person which made the book quite effective in transporting the readers to the self-explorative journey of the character towards self discovery. The title is definitely straightforward and represents the main theme of standing apart in the crowd. However, like always, I was not happy with the art form used as a cover image.

My opinion: Even though the genre represents adults, I would definitely recommend this book to both the adult audience as well as the young adults and teenagers. Frankly, at times, I was reminded of Anne Frank and the classic To Kill a Mockingbird mainly because of the style of narration used. I loved it.

My rating: 4 out of 5

Favourite quote:

It’s not a good idea to go along with something just to please others because it doesn’t make you feel good about yourself.

Mother hates phonies but she wants me to be one.

In my family Ted is the smart one, Kate is the talented ine, and I’m the pretty one. I’m not expected to be smart or talented.

Mom was watching us from the kitchen window, and when we came in the house she told Dad that he had to stop throwing ne the football because I was growing breasts. I wanted Dad to explain to her that I catch the ball with my hands, as he taught me, not against my body, but Dad walked away. Later, I was looking at myself in the mirrow after I Took a shower and In Didn’t see any signs that my breats are growing, but I know Mom’s new rule isn’t to protect my breasts.

People see what they expect to see. To her and to Mom any football in my hands had to be Ted’s.