As If I Were A River

It is rare that I find a book outside of the thriller genre so compulsively addictive, but As If I Were a River was so beautifully written that I found it virtually impossible to put down. It is the story of three women whose stories flow together exquisitely as we untangle the threads of their lives throughout the book. Although there are three interwoven stories, they are not at all confusing and it all comes together perfectly in the end like a well followed recipe.

The story starts with Kate on the night that her husband, Jimmy, pops out to the corner shop for some cigarettes and never returns. Kate is understandably distraught at Jimmy’s disappearance and even more so when Jimmy’s family almost appear to be gloating that he has left her. Kate’s sister, Julie, returns from Japan to offer support as Kate’s life spirals dangerously out of control.

Between Kate’s chapters we learn about Laura. Laura appears to have led quite a sheltered life and one day meets Ken. Although she’s not quite 18, Ken takes her to the pub for a drink and there’s a really lovely moment when she doesn’t know what to order and gets her first taste of a pint of bitter, described in a way that made my beer-loving mouth water. As tragedy strikes, Laura has to grow up quickly and soon finds herself married with two children at the age of 20 and feeling like she has missed out on her life. Struggling to make sense of her life, Laura makes some decisions that have serious repercussions for herself and her whole family.

Finally, we are introduced to Una. Una is the oldest of the three ladies and holds the key to some surprising family secrets. Secrets that can provide answers for Kate and Julie and take them on a trip around the world to New Zealand, with an ending that brought a tear to my eye, confirming how emotionally invested I was in the characters.

As If I Were A River is an absolutely outstanding debut from Amanda Saint. It is written so beautifully that I couldn’t help but form an immensely strong emotional link to the characters as their journey unfolded. As If I Were A River is something so completely out of the ordinary that it warrants every single one of the five stars that I have awarded it.

I received this e-book from the publisher, Urbane Publications, via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Compelling and immersive - I devoured it in a weekend and couldn't wait to get back to it whenever something in real life pulled me away!

What happens if your husband just disappears? Especially, if your mother did the same thing when you were growing up? Good character study. Thank you Netgalley for the ARC.

What a lovely tale. There were times I thought it was veering into implausible mysteries, and I started to get worried, but then it came back around. This is a tale of mistakes made, through three generations of women. It's the tale of a woman who may just be falling apart, but is held together by her sister. It's the story of loving a sibling, or a father, or a grandmother, even when their choices have left you wounded.

Definitely recommend.

One evening Kate's husband Jimmy goes down to the shop and never returns. What has happened to him? This mystery serves as the backdrop for a psychological exploration of grief, its consequences and an interrogation of close relationships. The mystery isn't the only thing that keeps us turning the pages as it becomes evident that Jimmy's disappearance is only a catalyst for Kate to resolve her relationships with her parents and her grandmother who holds the biggest secret of all. Abandonment and its life long ramifications is a key theme in this gripping book that I enjoyed very much as it demonstrates how one decision can affect generations.

I enjoyed the dual narrative told from Laura's and Kate's points of view, and the poignant mirroring of their lives. This novel evokes questions such as what might compel a person to leave their loved ones, and how those who remain behind cope.

As If I Were A River left me with mixed feelings.

I feel like I should start by mentioning how the title seems to work so perfectly as a metaphor for what happens in As If I Were A River. I believe the story flows with ease, even though the path leads the reader through different torrents that seem to collide at some point. It’s disorientating at times, clear as crystal at others… and then there’s the ocean. The ending brings answers that open doors instead of closing.

I must confess that I didn’t find it to be an extraordinary read, but Amanda Saint seems to be quite skilled at captivating the reader. Kate’s frustration is contagious to the point that you start feeling frustrated towards her. The fact that the story is told by three different generations, Kate being the youngest, only makes it harder not to want to snap at her and tell her to get a grip. Everything seems so much easier, clearer, when you condensate different angles into one picture…

As If I Were A River is an emotional journey where the word missing seems to play an extremely relevant part. Someone gone missing, missing someone, missing the point, missing the chance… and then finding.

I will certainly be keeping an eye out for Amanda Saint. I think she’s finding her own literary flow.

P.S. The book is visually beautiful.

ARC provided by Urbane Publications via NetGalley.

A family saga that captures and enraptures leaving you following the twists and turns to follow the lives of the characters within.A fantastic read that is well written with believable characters and plot.Look forward to exploring more of this Authors works

This novel had an interesting plot with lots of tense, unsolved mysteries but it was spoilt for me through Kate. Despite her background and current circumstances my sympathy ran thin. I found her rude, unnecessarily eruptive and she was excessively foul-mouthed. A pity she turned to sloshing back the drink and illegal drugs to find oblivion especially when it made matters worse. Perhaps this was the message it was striving to get across. I wasn't sure either whether the celebrated Jackie Collins, Sydney Sheldon and Danielle Steele's novels should have been referred to as "trashy books."

What a fabulous read. Beautifully written, never predictable and I was hooked from the first page. It scores 10/10, an absolute delight and I can't wait for her next novel.

I received an electronic copy of this book from Amanda Saint and Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you, folks for sharing your work with me.

I had A bit of trouble getting into this novel, but once I made it over the hump, it was interesting and at times compelling. Kate is an interesting woman, complex and realistic. Amanda Saint has a writing style I appreciate, with a straightforward manner that carries the tale to us at a pace that keeps our attention. This story is complicated and told from alternate viewpoints, but is very easily followed after a rather rocky beginning.

A brilliant debut novel. A powerful tale of three women. Kate's, the youngest of the three women, husband goes out one evening and doesn't return home. As the days pass Kate becomes more and more worried. We learn about Kate's mother, Laura, who she hasn't seen for twenty five years. And lastly Una, her paternal grandmother. All three lives are connected in this story that drew me in and I couldn't stop reading. I cannot wait for the authors next novel!

Thank you to Urbane Publishers and Netgalley for my copy.

As If I Were A River is a debut novel from Amanda Saint and one I found it compelling to say the least. Each chapter is told from three woman's perspective, the three generations all have their own story to tell, which all meld together to form a thought provoking tale. Life changes for Kate when her husband Jimmy goes missing, as Kate struggles to cope with his disappearance, she also finds herself facing unresolved abandonment issues, as her mum left her when she was just a child. To face her future Kate first has to find out the secrets that shroud her mothers sudden disappearance, and these secrets are drip fed to the reader chapter by chapter.

Through the first half of As If I were A River I didn't particularly feel any emotion for Kate's character, as I found her difficult to like, she appeared weak and self indulgent spending much of her time drunk or stoned.Although due to past events in Kate's life it was easy to imagine why she would take this path, rather than deal with her problems head on. Interestingly all three generations of woman appear weak when faced with difficult life choices, and you can't help wondering what would have happened if they made different choices, as the consequences of their actions are shown to affect the next generation. As the story progressed my feelings towards Kate changed and I began to feel real empathy for her, as her life spiralled out of control.

Amanda Saint has written a compelling book, and although the plot is not particularly original in content, and the ending was very predictable it did keep me intrigued to the last page. 4 out of 5 the book review cafe

Debut novel by an author I shall definitely follow! Three generations of women find that the past must be known before going on to the future. Skillfully woven with sympathetic, genuine characters. Recommended.

An emotional and compelling story of three generations of women and how each has affected the others. A gripping, psychological read. Brilliant!

Years ago, while working towards my undergraduate degree, one of my professors assigned the book The Women Who Broke All the Rules: How the Choices of a Generation Changed Our Lives, by Joan Avis, Ph.D. and Susan Evans Ed.D. That non-fiction novel held a variety of personal stories of women of the baby-boom era who challenged societal norms of growing up, getting married, and making babies, and went their own way. As I read Amanda Saint’s new novel, As If I Were A River, I was reminded of that book I was assigned so long ago and how it represented changing roles of women. To say that this was an outstanding novel would be an understatement!

Narrated by alternating characters, As If I Were A River tells the stories of Laura, Ken, Kate, Jules, and Una. Kate’s perspective is during present-day and begins with Kate’s husband going missing. Kate’s younger sister Jules comes to be with her sister and tries to offer support and guidance as her sister endures a downward spiral in reaction to her husband’s disappearance. Laura’s perspective is from her late teen years into adulthood, many years ago, and paints the picture of Laura’s whirlwind life changes and her later realizations that she wanted more out of life. Una does narrate a few chapters in the form of letters, but much of what we learn about Una comes from Laura’s chapters and perspectives from both her and Ken. I found myself both loving and hating several of the characters at different points in the novel, which honestly, is like real life. These characters go through the good and bad, make good decisions, and make poor decisions. Some topics and issues addressed throughout this novel include:

Family relationships and dynamics Alcoholism Desertion/Disappearance Women’s roles Parenting Lies/Betrayal And so much more!

Throughout this novel you find yourself relating to and empathizing with characters at one point, and at other times, you feel frustrated due to their personal decisions and actions. This is absolutely a book you will start and finish the same day because the author draws you in almost immediately. My only feedback that is not positive is the ending! Not trying to spoil anything for anyone, but when I came to the end I actually yelled out, “What?? No way that’s it!” I kept touching the screen on my iPad, thinking there had to be more pages and something was wrong, but alas, there were not. However, now that I’ve had more time to reflect on the novel, I’ve decided that OK, maybe that was the right time to wrap everything up…. I will just have to imagine in my mind what happened next, years later, etc! Regardless of the ending, I highly recommend this novel, especially to women that want to read something insightful and unique – it is a wonderful novel!

Disclaimer: I received this ARC from NetGalley in exchange for a positive review.

Three journeys woven into one.
A book intended for serious people, the tale follows the lives of three women: Kate, Laura and Una. We are introduced to them as separate people, but as the tale develops we see the nature of their relationship.

We follow them, we see their lives as they spiral out of control - from their happier moments (falling in love) to their worst (losing someone). We see it all. As a reader this is what I most appreciated, Saint's characters are explored in depth, we are able to see more than what is at the surface. There were characters like Ken who I had a number of opinions about- all of which conflicted.. I can't say I loved any character. When you see someone at their worst, you require a sort of equilibrium with their good moments and I don't think that was the case for any of the characters. Though, I feel Laura came close, not earlier on whilst in her innocence and naivety, but later when she discovered her independence.

Speaking (or rather, writing) of Laura, I desired to know more about her, and her willingness to commit the all-important action seemed foolish since she had no actual plans in regard to using her 'new' or 'potential degree'.

In the same way, the secrets Kate discovers were a huge let down. We learn that maybe there's hope for her. The suspense built up by Una's letters was huge...but the result didn't fulfil its potential. I wished for scandal, but what we got was heroism. I simply can't see the prospect of a mother very much in love with her family giving them up.

Though this theme of loss (especially the loss of love is consistent throughout the novel, broadening on s range of othrr characters' experiences. This is another style of Saints' that I liked, she refused to keep any character on the sidelines. Only too often do we read books where there is a far more interesting character (than the protagonists) who are ignored or mentioned briefly. In spite of this, I did want to know what pushed Jimmy to be unfaithful to his wife, believe me I know (in huge detail) her bad traits, though I feel vthese fail to justify his actions satisfactorily. Oh well, like Kate, perhaps we will not find an explanation. Additionally, I'd have liked to know of Ken's childhood....I understand that the tale was not about him but the heart wants what it wants...
I recommend this to anyone looking for a long read, there is no humour or comedy. Though I do recall smiling at the American tourist looking for Elton John. We may be English but that doesn't mean we can give you the address to any other Englishman! I have not yet had this experience, but I've heard of it before.

I'm afraid the reasoning behind the title escapes me, I cannot connect the title to the tale told. Though, I do like the cover: it's very fitting. In the book we are given mere glimpses of the characters and it's up to us to connect the dots. And we also quickly bein to understand that there is no 'true' picture pf anyone. Our tales and memories can become distorted.

The idea of someone leaving and never returning is chilling. This book was interesting and was well-written. I enjoyed the story.

Human emotions, written down in the most amazing way!

This was a deceptively simply told narrative. Straightforward style, but complex story. The interweaving of three perspectives was a little confusing initially. Slowly learning about the secrets the women had, and exploring how they deal with the events life throws at them, was interesting.

The writing was beautiful and the story was captivating. Following the three generations of women, I found this book satisfying and held my interest until finished.

This was a different book than I would normally go for but that did not stop it being enjoyable, thought provoking and beautifully written. I saw a little of this in it's very early stages and was thrilled when I heard the author had got a publishing contract as I would get to read the rest. Love and loss are strong themes in this novel, and underpinning it all is the sense of interconnectedness we find in novels such as Isabel Allende's House of Spirits- our lives are not our own but spiral and twist and part, interconnecting and affecting each other. I agree with another reviewer that there were aspects of second and third tier characters I wanted to know more about but as a novel that was at least partially about secrets and ho they can both poison you and set you free, it made sense that some back stories were kept in the shade. This was a wonderful debut - one I expect I will get more from on a reread.

unfortunately, could not get into this book

Families dynamics are often exceedingly complicated, aren’t they? Amanda Saint does a fantastic job of examining just how complicated they can be, through the alternating perspectives of Kate, Laura, and Una.

When Kate’s husband goes missing and circumstances are beyond her control, it doesn’t take long for her to completely lose herself. She quickly becomes someone whom even she does not recognize, anymore. It is the triggering event that brings long-suppressed trauma and unresolved conflict/pain to the surface with a vengeance. The result? Kate tries to numb decades of past hurts, co-mingled with those of the present, in unhealthy ways.

This is par for the course, though – a matter of history repeating itself. As we go back a generation and examine Laura’s life, we discover that not dealing with pain and conflict, but that either pushing it down and attempting to pretend that it doesn’t exist or finding ways to detach from it, is just what this family does.

And finally, Una. Una is portrayed as a strong, loving matriarch…for the most part. But she, too, is someone who has experienced loss and, at one time, a sense of helplessness over her life’s circumstances, having had decisions made for her that caused her path to veer significantly from the one she had envisioned for herself.

As If I Were a River offers a raw, complex, messy, and genuine look into the lives of these three women, specifically, but it also rings true for countless others of us and is a very relatable story, in general. Who we are and the decisions we have made are no doubt shaped by our past experiences. But do we allow the past to dictate our future? Or do we work to forge a new path? If we, at one time, had no control over our circumstances, do we continue to live as though this is still the case, or are we able to acknowledge the degree of control that we do have, now, and then act accordingly? The author addresses these concepts in such a way that leads the reader (at least this one) to become invested in the outcome and hopeful for the future of the characters.

This narrative concluded in a way that seemed quite realistic and true-to-life, defying my common desire to see things tied up with a nice, neat little bow. Typically, I’m all about being able to check the “Happily Ever After” box, but that’s not necessarily the ending that you will find, here (…and that’s OK).

You’ll want to pick up this compelling read in order to discover Kate, Laura, and Una’s trajectory, for yourself.

Nice debut novel. Interesting story and concept of a river being a life and all the events and people like tributaries that make up a river. Got it. Just wish the story was more fluid and found the changes in narrator and points of view to be a hindrance to that.

Enjoyed the multi-generational aspect and the reflection on relationships and life. Saint’s style is straight forward and has a raw quality.

Urbane Publications and NetGalley provided me with an electronic copy of As If I Were A River, in exchange for an honest review.

As If I Were A River is the story of three generations of women - Una, Laura, and Kate - and how each one impacts the others' lives. The night that Kate's husband Jimmy disappears, she must reevaluate her feelings of abandonment and seek answers to her past as well as her present. Although her sister Jules is there to help, Kate spirals out of control. Will Kate ever be able to get closure as far as her mother and Jimmy are concerned, or will she self destruct?

The changing perspectives threw the book off balance, taking the focus away from Kate and the central story of her husband's disappearance. The plot did not flow all that well and the complete and total self destruction by Kate seemed to be out of place. It was hard to feel any sort of connection to any of the main characters and, in the end, As If I Were A River was just not all that compelling.