The Corporate Translator is here to help you survive the 9-5 so you can make it to your 5-9 by exchanging business-speak for actual human language in this easy-to-use, indispensable sendup of office culture. 

Corporatespeak: “Take this offline”

Translation: “I have no idea how to handle this, so I’m just going to hope you forget about it.”

Are you a burned-out professional? Been on a Zoom call that “could’ve been an email”? Or simply a fresh-faced grad who will soon need to know how to tell your boss to stuff it in a language they can understand—and even celebrate? The Corporate Translator is perfect for anyone who feels exasperation at the many buzzwords, nonsensical euphemisms, and other workplace jargon that animates our working lives today. Stand-up comedian Mike Mancusi—speaking as his popular online character the Corporate Translator—shares some practical takeaways that anyone can use if they want to communicate like a human in the office, no matter their role. Readers will learn:

• 25 HR-approved ways to express pure hostility to your least favorite coworker
• The dark art of actually getting the raise you've wanted for at least three years
• 10 tricks for acing your next job interview by speaking fluent Interviewer
• 5 email phrases we should bury with honor and never, ever use again

In addition to a fascinating history of corporatespeak over the past hundred years, The Corporate Translator provides a detailed listing of 75 phrases and what they actually mean. A “What They Say Vs. What They Mean” section then takes readers through common office scenarios from “extremely confusing onboarding” to “exit interview where you'd like to flip the table and run out screaming.” Perfect for gifting, team-building icebreakers, or surviving your next performance review, The Corporate Translator is a must-have manual for anyone navigating email jobs, LinkedIn lingo, or that one coworker who keeps using “optics” wrong.