From THE Trisha Paytas, icon of our digital age and your favorite influencer’s favorite influencer, a raw and uproarious memoir that explores what happens when the lines between fame and infamy blur.

No person has reinvented themselves more times than Trisha Paytas. Like a phoenix, she has risen from the ashes again and again—outliving social media platforms, navigating ill-fated and explosively popular podcasts alike, and being on the wrong end of more messy feuds than she can count. As one of the world’s first influencers she helped create the blueprint for a new kind of celebrity. But across a career marked by both dizzying highs and earth-shattering lows, one thing has remained unclear: What the hell was she thinking?

In Crying on the Kitchen Floor, Trisha sets out to answer this question once and for all by opening up like never before. She recounts in vivid, shocking detail how an insatiable need for fame led a quiet girl from the suburbs to life on the seedy streets of Hollywood. From dangerous encounters with potential serial killers, to abusive relationships with former child stars, infinite reality TV cameos, and ultimately, taking over the internet, Trisha’s desperate search for identity nearly cost her everything. Yet, after decades spent battling mental health issues and weathering endless cancellations, she somehow managed to fight her way to high ground as the world she helped build transformed beneath her feet.

Combining the grittiness of Julia Fox’s Down the Drain and the unsparing honesty of Bunnie XO’s Stripped Down, Crying on the Kitchen Floor serves as a beacon of hope for anyone struggling to find their happily ever after. Trisha shares how she was able to take back her story and finally find peace by looking for answers not in fame, or money, or men—but in herself. Whether you’re a lifelong Trisha stan, or simply a child of the internet trying to make sense of the past three decades, this is a can’t-miss read from the woman who wrote the book on what it means to be alive in the 21st century.