The Princess and the Clown

Wow I have never read a book quite like this one. Ralph is a sweet over the hill clown and Jules a horny down on her luck princess(?) Together they take you on a down and dirty sex filled adventure. The sexual things Jules talk Ralph into doing are unbelievable. If you are looking for something different to read this is it. The only thing I would have added to the story is a little bit more of Jules past history. I was given a copy by NetGalley and Green Muffin Publishing for my honesty review.

That cover is a bit deceiving. The book is mainly about two performers (one clown, one dressed as a princess) in their 40's. They're two imperfect people and end up hooking up. The woman is a bit of a freak of nature. There is a funny bathroom scene. It's well written and a book I wanted to keep reading, despite nothing really remarkably enthralling occurring. It's a good entertaining read. I was given a copy from NetGalley.

Utterly and depressingly frank. Not a run of the mill romance. Some scenes are quite shocking.

Oh. My. God. What the hell did I just read?

If you cross bizarro fiction with hard-core erotica you might get something that resembles <em>The Princess and the Clown</em> by Ian Thomas Malone.

Ralph is a down-on-his-luck clown who has seen better days. Known as Jango the Clown he was once quite popular. Now he's relegated to performing at children's birthday parties. He gets through the parties, with those screaming brats who don't want to see a clown, by sipping a little hootch that he's got tucked away in his over-sized pockets.

But as we start the book, Jango arrives at a party only to meet another clown already there. This one is the beautiful "Princess Aurora" clown (aka Jules). Princess and Jango sit off to the side, out of sight, waiting for their cue to go entertain and Princess suddenly has Jango go down on her, performing oral sex while they wait. Jango's got it made!

The party goes moderately well and they decide to try performing together a few more times and Ralph loves the sex he gets. But there's a problem ... Jules isn't a very nice person. Pretty on the outside but a black heart and vile on the inside. Whereas Ralph is just the opposite. He's about as ugly as ugly can be, but he's basically a pretty good person (except for his lascivious behavior and drinking before performing in front of a bunch of kids).

Jules and Ralph do some pretty nasty things at other peoples' homes and that disturbs Ralph (until he gets really horny).

This is ... it's ... it .... This is short. You can probably read the whole thing while sitting on the toilet, which is kind of appropriate.

I think that there's supposed to be some sort of message here about appearances being deceiving, or how erotica really isn't very sexy, but that message gets lost behind lines like:
<blockquote>Ralph never considered himself to be much of a foot guy, but the hooves resting on him were almost enough to cause some spontaneous squirting. ...

The smell of vodka and cigarette on her breath was the finest aphrodisiac he'd ever inhaled. ...

He watched Jules go to town on a huge burrito, "Damn, where do you put all that?" he asked, taking another stab at flirting. ...

She reminded him of a Hot Pocket. Smoking hot on the outside with an icy interior.</blockquote>
Okay...that last one made me laugh, I admit.

The book relies on one through-line, which Jules says near the end: "I'm a horrible person and you're one ugly motherf*er. A perfect fit if I've ever seen one." If you like this idea, you might like this book. Unfortunately, I don't.

Looking for a good book? Me, too. 'Cause I didn't find one here.

I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher, through Netgalley, in exchange for an honest review.

This book was a real surprise, it was quirky and funny and I enjoyed it.

Very odd and original. But not my cup of tea.

it took me awhile to read this book and when I finally did, I was left disconnected. Seeing as I didn't connect with the story, the book cover, with the clown is quite scary and wow, I can't imagine having a clown dressed like that at my childhood parties, that would suck. So Ralph and Jules, quite the pair, and oh what they get up to right from the start of the story. I didn't care for Jules and I could barely stand Ralph and the plus side, the story is really short, but still needs some work.

Um....It's a weird clown book with sex, rude comments, and adult themes. Everything I've always wanted from a clown. I think.

This book was like a train wreck, I couldn't look away. You see the wreck but your mind can't wrap about what it's seeing, that's this book only your mind can't wrap around what you are reading. Like a junkie, needing her next fix, I couldn't stop!! I had to see how they were going to up their game the next time.

Jules is pretty, but a black hole of despair on the inside. Ralph is the opposite, gnarly outside and a good heart on the inside. Awe. So how do these two clowns meet? At a kids birthday party of course. Where he goes down town on Jules. WHAT?! I know right.

Then the story keeps going, upping the ante. How far will they go? And will they get caught?

The sex is not erotic, it's ok. You'd think a man would be pretty descriptive. Not that I was hoping he'd get out his rubber chicken and make it crow till dawn, that's not what I'm talking about. Glossing over stuff, not erotic.

I'm not sure who or how to recommend this book. But um, if you need a fast read that kind of eye brow raising, this is it! Hands down! Get on it bitches!!