This book was really helpful to me. It helped me see that it was important for me to end my engagement before it was too late. While I know that wasn't its intention, I am grateful for its help in seeing that my relationship was not one worth saving.

This book is extensive in the amount of relationship issues that it covers. Everyone can relate to at least one at some point in their lives! The information is presented in a clear and concise loving way. Reasons and responses are given to help the reader better understand what’s going on both in themselves and in their spouse. What would make this book better was if it included more scripture. I have some Biblical Soul Care background and I found myself wishing there was more biblical response included. It’s very psychological in approach. The book is super helpful and was very interesting to read.
I received a copy of this book from netgalley and the publisher. This has in no way influenced my review. All thoughts are my own.

I've recently read The Five Love Languages of Children and have used the information to help strenghten my relationship with my children. So I was interested to read more books by Gary Chapman. The book considers a number of different marriage problems and suggests way you can change your behaviour that may lead to a favourable change in your spouse. I think the book will be beneficial for many people who may not consider looking at the book due to the title that suggests it is only for people who are thinking of leaving. I suspect it is a book that I'll return to in the future to help strenghten my marriage.

I love Gary Chapman books. The Five Love Languages of Apology has improved my marriage significantly and even helps my communication with my kids.

I requested Loving Your Spouse because I have a few people in my life who are struggling with whether or not to keep going in their marriage. I felt the examples and solutions to typical marriage troubles in this book were really insightful and were things people can easily implement.

However, I do wish there was a hard line drawn on abuse in marriages. The Bible says it's okay to leave abusive marriages, and I don't believe anyone should feel pressure to stay in one.

When my husband and I endured a brief separation, one of Dr. Gary Chapman‘s books was a lifeline of hope for me. I was thrilled to review this revision of a book he wrote over 10 years ago.

This powerful book offers hope for couples dealing with larger-than-normal marriage problems. If I had had it when I was struggling the most in my marriage, it would have given me the hope and help I was desperately seeking from others who could not understand.

Here are the main marriage issues covered in this book:

Irresponsibility
Workaholism
Depression
Controlling Tendencies
Verbal Abuse
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Lack of Communication
Infidelity
Addiction

In my own difficult marriage I have dealt with several of these heavy-hitting issues. Speaking from experience, I can say that Dr. Chapman’s advice is solid and strong. His tone is firm yet compassionate, which is what you need to hear when your marriage problems are tough.

I appreciate the fact that he says I can change myself but not my husband, and that one-sided change can work change in the marriage. Not every example he gives in the book ends happily. Some of the couples he counseled ended up divorcing. But others persisted in difficult marriages and thrived despite the challenges. I am proud to belong to that group of champions.

Here is a sampling of inspiring quotes from this book:

"In the darkest night of a miserable marriage, there is always a flickering light."
"Your inability to change your spouse must be laid alongside your very real ability to influence a spouse for better or for worse."
"You can learn to acknowledge your negative emotions but not to follow them."
"Choose the higher road by asking such questions as: What is best…right…good…loving? You can allow your actions to be controlled by these noble thoughts."
"You know well that time alone does not heal the troublesome behaviors we have described in this book. Perhaps this knowledge will encourage you to take a new approach."

If you know someone struggling with major marriage issues, do them a favor and recommend this life-giving book to them. You just might offer the hope they are desperately seeking.

I am grateful to Moody Publishers for a free review copy of this excellent book.

Gary Chapman long ago established himself as a leading expert on marriage and relationships. His 1992 book The Five Love Languages continues to be a popular and helpful resource, influencing couples and marriage counselors everywhere, and creating a cottage industry for Chapman. His recent book Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away: Real Help for Desperate Hearts in Difficult Marriages covers a variety of marital conflicts and offers help to couples. (This is an update of Chapman's 2008 book, Desperate Marriages: Moving Toward Hope and Healing in Your Relationship.)



Chapman wants couples, even those who feel like they have no option but to leave, to reject some myths and accept some realities. He writes that people can change, that couples do have options, that each spouse is in control of his or her responses, and each can influence the other with his or her actions.



I have to be honest, Loving Your Spouse is not fun to read. Each chapter covers some difficult-to-live-with characteristic: irresponsible, workaholic, depressed, controlling, abusive, sexually abused or abusive, uncommunicative, unfaithful, addicted. Chapman draws from his many years of marriage counseling and conference speaking for detailed stories of couples who have dealt with each of these and how they overcame (in most cases he tells a happy ending). Reading about these struggling marriages isn't exactly happy reading.



If a couple is dealing with one of the above troubles, this can be a great resource to get started on the journey toward reconciliation. In summary, Chapman says spouses should "embrace the positive actions that one individual can take to stimulate constructive changes in a relationship." Don't give up on marriage and be an agent of change. It's never to late.





Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!

This title by any other author would have been overlooked. As I read I saw things that reminded me of my husband and of myself, and I would not consider our marriage desperate, just growing.

Whether your marriage is in a desperate place or growing (as every relationship should be), this book is a good reminder that issues we see at the surface often go much deeper and nothing is hopeless.

I would recommend this book to any married couple as they learn the wedding was the easiest part of the marriage.

3.5 stars

I'm a fan of Gary Chapman's work and love the 5 Love Languages. This book would be a nice companion for a range of readers, including anyone looking to improve communication in their marriage to anyone who feels hopeless in their relationship. I appreciate that he emphasizes the importance of understanding the root of negative or unwanted behaviors, and how he uses stories from other couples who've taken different approaches to specific scenarios.

With that said, I realize this book is coming from a religious perspective, but I disagreed with some of the advice for working on various types of abusive relationships. I wish he would have spent more time with the idea that leaving can be the right answer, and I hope readers find the resources to explore all options if they don't feel safe.

Who hasn't wanted to walk away from their marriage? Life gets hard and situations/other people's choices are beyond our control. This book is a great encouragement to those who are in tough places in their marriages. The author is filled with Godly wisdom and lays out the concepts in a simple, understandable manner.

While at times it seems over-simplified, it presents possible scenarios and resolutions for a variety of marriage problems. It demonstrates when and why tough love is sometimes necessary and explains how to carry it through.

Gary Chapman’s “Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away,” will be a God-send to so many partner’s struggling in their relationship. Not only does Chapman deal with many different scenarios of struggling marriages but he also helps the willing partners to become their best selves, regardless of what the other spouse does. Because Chapman deals with ten-different types of difficult spouses, he can’t go into as much detail as I think the topic warrants. However, if you are a partner in a difficult relationship, this book has a lot of wisdom to help you create the relationship you are longing for.

Not something I really needed in this stage of my 18 year marriage.
However, so packed full of wonderful advice if you are at the point where you really want to walk away. I would have read this book so many times over and over back 11- 10 years ago.
Let's be honest here. Everyone, has wanted at one point to just walk away. This book was a great reminder of why we don't. Marriage is worth the fight.
I think almost every marriage difficulty is covered with such wisdom in this book.

I'm sorry. I didn't finish reading this book. I wanted to - not because my marriage is in trouble, but because I think it's never a bad thing to brush up on and have reminders of. The content seemed really good, and was well written. I liked that there was some talk of the 5 love languages and that there were a large range of issues addressed with some ideas about how to address them. I know, how did I not finish the book? The thing is, the formatting for the eReader was not great. It was tough to read and really made me lose my focus and not give the content the attention it deserved. Maybe that was just a problem with my version because the 30% or so I read seemed really good. I just couldn't take it anymore.

So incredibly relevant today. Well written and applicable to a huge range of marital issues, especially some of those which are lesser addressed in christian literature (physical/emptional abuse, alcoholism, etc.). Though these sections were mostly not applicable to our marriage, I am glad they are included so it can be shared with others or bought by someone who might not buy a book on those single and specific subjects. Even included the basics of thew 5 love languages, which has truly changed our marriage already. Strongly reccomend to anyone in any stage of considering divorce. Your marriage is worth it!

Another amazing read by one of my very favorite authors! There is never a bad time in your marriage (or other relationship) to get some good advice from Gary Chapman. He often writes about the hard times but the advice he gives is for all of us. If you want to improve your relationships then this is a great choice!

I don't consider my marriage to be desperate by any means, but any book by Chapman is worth a read. This book describes several situations couples may find themselves in that can hinder a marriage. Chapman provides realistic examples from real-life situations, and then describes how he worked with these couples to attempt to salvage their marriages. He discusses myths that may hinder marriage, and how to combat these myths with realistic living. The focus on this realistic living, coupled with communication and knowing the significant other's love language, is beneficial for all couples, regardless of maritial issues.

Oh, Gary Chapman. You get us. I loved this. Here’s a scenario for every relationship. Unless you’re in some bizarre clown/clown type relationship. Then seek help elsewhere.