This is a wonderful story about family love.
I just could not put this down.

https://readinglife342128355.wordpress.com/2018/03/20/digital-review-starfish/

This was another NetGalley book that I was approved for. As with previous books, I was given a digital review copy of this in exchange for a fair and honest review. I was drawn to it (once again) by the cover and the cover alone. I really didn't know much about the book, synopsis or author. I wasn't even really sure which genre it sat in!

I picked this up on my Kindle on Sunday evening and I had finished it by Monday night. With work in between. I don't know if that's the sign of a good book, or it was an easy read in all honesty.

Starfish is a YA contemporary/coming of age story. We follow Kiko, a 17 year old half Asian girl with some serious parental issues, self esteem issues and anxiety issues who falls in love with her childhood friend and is an amazing artist. We follow her journey discovering who she is, who she wants to be and facing the issues in her life that were holding her back. There are extremely serious themes in this book including sexual abuse, emotional abuse, divorce and suicide.

The positives:

- The main protagonist. I adored Kiko. I saw so much of myself in her. Not the hiding away, but the struggle to fit in and the need to please people. I loved how she was written and I felt like this character came straight from the authors heart and own experiences.

- The coming of age theme. I felt like the story of Kiko finding herself in her own skin and her own happiness despite all the challenges she had faced was heart warming and well done.

- The emotional abuse theme. It feels weird to put this in a 'positive' listing but it's not because I like the theme. It's because I felt it was very well done. It made me feel uncomfortable at points, which, to me, means it was doing what it should do in a way. It's a difficult thing to talk about, understand and see/hear/read about.

The Negatives:

- Other characters. I didn't particularly 'get' or like the brothers in this story, I'm still struggling to see what they bring to it. I feel like they weren't fleshed out enough, there wasn't enough to them, or of them. If there had been more of them, I think it would have made more sense.

- Other characters. Jamie. I didn't like him or how he was written, which is disappointing as I feel like we were supposed to 'fall' for him as Kiko's one true love, but something just didn't work in it for me. I found him slightly creepy at times.

- the sexual abuse theme/storyline. This is in negative but I want to say that it's not that I don't think it was well done in parts, it absolutely was. However, where are the consequences, where is the message that it's good to talk about it because something WILL be done?

Overall, I gave this 3* out of 5. I enjoyed it, devoured it and I'd recommend it. That being said, it didn't blow me away.

Occasionally I stumble across a book that I will remember forever because it was that bloody good. Starfish was perfect in every single way. The writing was superb, Akemi was able to make me feel so many different emotions at once. Anger, sadness and at times happiness. Needless to say, this book is crazy important and I think everyone should read it.

Kiko is an important character as she represents millions of young people that struggle with their identity. She is half Japanese, from her father’s side and half American. Her mother, to put it ever so bluntly, is a complete asshole. Kiko’s mother constantly puts her down and isn’t shy about telling her daughter that she would be more beautiful if she had blonde hair, a straight nose and basically looked “less Asian”. Her mother, who should love her daughter unconditionally, is a racist. It broke my heart. I can’t begin to imagine the sadness that Kiko has in her heart, feeling so out of place in the world. Not only must she deal with this from fellow peers but also from her own mother.

Kiko deals with her social anxiety throughout this story. She wants to shine, to be independent from all the worries and hate but she is at constant war with herself. Her escapism is through art – it’s her passion in life and makes her happy. I found I was able to relate to Kiko as I also suffer from anxiety. Her struggle showed me and can show many other sufferers that you are not alone. I liked how Akemi did not write a character to “save” Kiko as she does not need saving.

The romance in Starfish made my heart flutter. I wanted it so much for Kiko because she deserved so much happiness. I won’t say too much as I really don’t want to spoil it!!

The pace of the book was steady and was consistent throughout. At no point did the story feel rushed. Akemi developed the world beautifully with her words and created a timeless story for those who alsostruggle, like Kiko did, and help them to find comfort and courage through reading Starfish.

There are trigger warnings of sexual abuse in this book, so please be aware.

I would like to thank Simon Pulse and Akemi Dawn Bowman for sending me this ARC via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Starfish tells a story about a young half Japanese woman Kiko, and her emotional journey of self discovery and strength as she struggles to cope with being rejected from her dream art school, Prism. With her best friend, Emery, leaving town, Kiko loses her crutch and starts to make the first steps into the world on her own, and her less than understanding, and self absorbed mother doesn't make it any easier for her. Gradually as the story is told, Kiko learns about the true meaning of beauty, friendship, and family and finds a strength in her she didn't realise she had, but was there all along.

"I feel weird just standing there listening. Do other people do that? Move from circle to circle, socialising with everyone like they all know each other? It seems invasive. I don't know the rules."

This novel is told from Kiko's point of view, which I absolutely loved. So much of what she said resonated so strongly with me, particularly when she describes and draws about her experience with social anxiety. The anxiety was represented beautifully, and there were so many points in the book where I felt it was echoing exactly the sorts of things I've felt. In my head, I was mentally saying. "This is me. This is me. I've been there," so many times, which made the whole story all the more poignant and personal.

I love the little descriptions of her sketches at the ends of the chapters an seeing how they evolved as Kiko grows as a person and learns about how to be strong and deal with her hideous mother which has had such a strangling and suffocating effect on her, and her siblings.

I adored that as the story progressed, she was self aware enough to realise that she needed to do a bit of healing, on her own. That Jamie can't 'save' her, and before she can let people into her life, and love them, she needs to learn to accept and love herself,

This book is just beautiful and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

* This ebook ARC was provided by Black & White Publishing through NetGalley for an honest review.

Beware, this is a DNF review.
I feel like this book just wasn't meant to be liked by me. I do believe many people will in fact love it, but those people won't be the same people who have gone through tons of YA books in the past. To me, 'Starfish' just felt too cliche, too simple, too repetitive. Only 5% in and I was rolling my eyes while highlighting quotes which could have been taken from Tumblr. Don't get me wrong - there is some value in this book and it may become an important read for some but I'm just too tired of reading the same thing over and over again. So I'll leave joy for someone else.

YA contemporary is always a bit his and miss with me so I’m a bit on the fence about this one. On one hand this was beautifully written and bittersweet, and ultimately hopeful. I liked the portrayal of Keko as someone who couldn’t own half her own identity because that was the half her mother constantly put down. The social anxiety also felt authentic. I was ambivalent about her mother who is borderline moustache twirling villain at times she’s so one note. I can well believe that the more extreme awful things she said have actually been said somewhere by someone’s parent, and your mother usually has the power of god over your psyche – it’s an incredibly hard thing to break away from and reject. But on the other hand constant bad behaviour, abuse and cruelty would not keep Keko coming back. There had to be moments of softening so that Keko could’ve justified the lie that her mother cared about her really to herself – and there just weren’t any of those moments. I was also a bit iffy on the tone which was that Keko’s mother was mentally ill – undiagnosed – and that was why she behaved the way she did. This is very unpalatable. People are entirely responsible for their own actions. Blaming mental illness removes the blame from the person who should be blamed and adds to the toxic mythology that mental illness can be conflated with abuse or criminal behaviour when of course they are not mutually inclusive or exclusive concepts. I am wary of child sex abuse being used as a character’s back story too. I don’t think it was exploitative here but there were elements of overcoming it that just didn’t ring true. Overall it was a decent book but too many puzzle pieces were out of alignment for me.

I really liked this book. It had a strong and amazing representation of social anxiety which I could relate to myself and It was refreshing to see it well done.

It was heartbreaking to read and just overall beautiful.

I’m struggling to get words out to describe how i feel but I absolutely loved it, truly. The writing was absolutely stunning and I had to take breaks just to take in what I was reading.

I loved the romance and how it slowly came about and wasn’t at all forced.

I definitely recommend you to read this book! I’ll write a full review closer to release date.

My first NetGalley review!

Beautifully written and poignant this is the story of half-Japanese Kiko and her emotionally abusive, manipulative white mother who constantly criticizes Kiko and her looks. Apparently she can do nothing right and this has given Kiko a severe case of anxiety and co-dependency, initially leaning on best friend Emery she switches to childhood friend Jamie after Emery leaves for college.

Two shy brothers, and a father I'd like to know about, plus a fascinating Japanese artist round out an interesting cast of characters. The character development was brilliant and I loved how Kiko matured and grew up and learned to handle her anxiety and become independent.

I absolutely loved the story and I thought it flowed very well. I was drawn in and I couldn't put it down, I loved Akemi's writing style and I can't wait to read more from her.

I’ve read many books that involve following their journey of self discovery and growing up but I’ll be completely honest, I’ve not read any like starfish.

It’s obvious through reading this book that the author has a real connection to the story, and the passion that is woven throughout it does not go unnoticed. I find that such a connection is quite rare to see in books these days!
The plot is entirely original, following Kiko’s touching and at times heartbreaking journey of self discovery through growing up and having many different experiences/emotions.

I fell in love with the character after only a couple of pages in, the way this book is written makes it completely relateable as you suffer and try to escape Kiko’s anxiety and self destructive thoughts along with her; I can’t give her enough credit for being so strong!

Brilliant book, really touching and is definitely a book I will remember.

Thank you for the opportunity to read it, I’m very appreciative and I will definitely be purchasing a hard copy for myself and for friends.

Ohhhh booooy was this book intense! It was such an emotional rollercoaster tbh. I would just like to say that Kiko's mum is absolutely the worst person i've read about, I just hate her so much. Starfish indeed.

I really loved Kiko, and watching her grow, and watching her learn to love herself and escape and learn who she was as a person as well as learning what real love is, whether romantic, platonic or familial love.

I especially like at the end of chapters, where Kiko would draw something to reflect her mood, it just was such a great way to get to know her more too.

I just don't even know what else to say tbh haha, except prepare yourself emotionally before reading this book, because it is so raw and emotional and intense, that you need to be ready

Tbh I would've liked it to maybe be a little bit longer at the end though


Trigger Warnings for emotional abuse, sexual abuse and suicide attempt

Starfish is the story of a mixed-race girl growing up with difficulty in small town Nebraska, and deals with issues such as identity, anxiety, sexual abuse and race. Her mom is just THE WORST and it’s a frustrating read at times because Kiko has no emotional support of any kind. 3.5 stars bumped up to 4 for the rating system - extra points for how well it deals with issues of race and identity.

(I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review)

Kiko, an aspiring artist, is about to graduate from high school and ready to leave home. Wanting to escape from her toxic relationship with her narcissistic mother.

When Kiko is not accepted in her no.1 art school, which would have been a fresh start away from home, she decides to travel to California with her childhood best friend. It is there where she tries to find her identity in this world and deals with obstacles in her life with the help of her friend and an artist who takes her under his wing.

This book touches topics like racism, anxiety, sexual and emotional abuse, and suicide. The way Akemi Dawn Bowman weaved all this into the story was authentic; it felt real.

Kiko is a great narrator, I liked how she switches from what she wanted to say to what she actually said. Or how detailed she describes her anxiety, something I can identify with. And how her descriptions of her drawings at the of a chapter were so visual for me and matched her feelings in that moment. I absolutely loved reading Starfish and love the cover!

Thank you, Back &White Publishing, and NetGalley for my eARC.

An absolutely brilliant, realistic and heartbreaking story.

Starfish is the story of Kiko, a seventeen-year-old artist with a dream of being accepted into Prism, her dream art school. Getting into this school wasn’t just a dream, it was a need. But, when Kiko doesn’t get accepted she faces the reality that she will have to stay at home with her guilt-tripping, lying mother and abusive uncle. However, when an old friend returns and offers her an opportunity to visit the West Coast and possible art schools Kiko braves her anxieties and fears to try to break-free of the constricting walls she calls home.

Firstly, I would like to thank Akemi Dawn Bowman for writing the most accurate and well-written representations of social anxiety that I have ever read. As someone who has social anxiety it felt amazing to see this handled with such love and care. The conversations Kiko has with Jamie are almost mirror images of conversations I have had with people when it comes to going to parties or spending time with people I don’t know or going somewhere I’m not comfortable. I can’t begin to describe how it felt to see something I struggle with being portrayed so perfectly!

Kiko is such an amazing and relate-able character. I felt connected to her almost instantly. It made all of her struggles and emotions more impactful and I truly felt for her and followed her in her highs and lows. She just wants to get out! And I truly relate to that. Her mother is basically psychologically abusive and there were multiple times in the book that just made me want to scream! Psychological abuse is definitely not something you hear about often enough. It is serious and can have a real long-lasting effect on someone as shown in this book and shouldn’t be overlooked.

I liked Jamie as a supporting character. He didn’t really “get it” in regards to Kiko’s anxiety and you could see that, but he was trying and he cared so much. I liked the fact that Bowman did this. You had Kiko’s friendship with Emery that showed a great friendship between someone with anxiety and someone who understood and knew what to do in certain situations. Then you had the relationship where someone didn’t know what to do and the one with anxiety not knowing how to express it. For me, one of the hardest things to do is explain to people that I have social anxiety. It’s like, how do I explain this in a way that they will understand but not judge and its hard. So I loved that you can see the struggle from both sides.

The biracial representation is so well done and different. I can’t name another character of the top of my head that’s biracial so I’m glad it is being represented. You get given a good perspective from an author that knows what they are talking about and you can really feel and understand Kiko’s struggle that she might never belong being half-Japanese and half-Caucasian.

Overall, I simply adore Starfish. The writing is simply amazing and inspirational and goes into a mental health issue that not everyone takes seriously. I have so many highlights on my Kindle, seriously there are pages of it. The story is as motivational as it is heartbreaking and my heart broke on numerous occasions for Kiko. This may be one of the few books where I don’t mind the romantic subplot because it is, almost, never at the forefront of the book. Starfish is about the progression of a young woman in an important part in her life learning how to accept and be true to herself for the first time.

This book does come with some trigger warnings for mental illness, family abuse/neglect and childhood sexual abuse.

Starfish review

Kiko has always felt like an outsider, her mother doesn’t seem to care about her, she only has one friend. However she finds solace in her art and hopes that she get into Prism art college and get away from her mother and start a new life. This all comes falling down when Kiko fails into get into Prism and to make matters worse, her uncle moves in.
So Kiko leaves town and tours arts schools with a childhood friend Jamie and hopefully she can start another life.
Starfish has been the best book I’ve read so far this year. It is a very moving and emotional book that had me crying, laughing and shouting out loud at times. It is a brilliant YA book. There are a few shocks in Starfish that pulled the rug from under my feet. Starfish will also stay with me for a long time. Starfish is also perfect for those who have felt liked they have never fitted in.

Starfish follows Kiko, a growing artist, who dreams being accepted into her dream art school and finally be free of her abusive mother.

Starfish was brutal and brilliant, all in one go. Kiko’s story was tough to read but so authentic to experience. I truly loved the sections where it shows what Kiko wanted to say versus what she actually says. It was a great way of showing Kiko’s struggle and the art description at the end of each chapter were beautiful. I loved the writing and the way Akemi wrote this story, as we read about Kiko’s journey accept herself. I found myself connecting with Kiko on so many levels, Starfish was indeed an experience to read.

I will warn you, Bowman did say she wrote this for people who need to see their experiences brought to life, and, boy, she did do exactly that. It was a struggle to read this. Her mother’s behaviour is nauseating to read but felt so real.

Although the romance isn’t a massive subplot in this book, it wasn’t the most enjoyable part of it, partly because of Jamie’s ignorance. I get that he doesn’t understand (spoiler-ish, we learn from one of the reveals, that he sort of does) but there were too many moments where Kiko’s anxiety was being framed as absurd and not usual from his lines. And him submitting Kiko’s art and showing her images to others without her knowledge and permission was teeth-grindingly annoying. We get it, he loves her, but forcing her into certain things wasn’t okay for me.

Overall, Akemi has created a beautiful and emotional story about learning to love yourself when others told you it’s impossible. Read it if you can, it’s not one to be missed.

TW: sexual abuse, racism, emotional abuse, parental abuse/neglect, suicide attempt. (If you’ve read the book and feel like I’ve missed something else, please tell me!)

Possibly one of the nicest covers I've seen for a long time. Starfish is so very very good. It is just lovely but so sad at times. It does a superb job of representing mental illness, in this case, anxiety. At times Starfish can be hard to read due to how honest and raw it is but for me that is what makes it so good.

Starfish follows the story of Kiko, a socially-awkward teenager unsure of her next steps after she doesn't get into the art school she had hoped for. Things change for her when she is reunited with her childhood best friend and she leaves with him to go to California.
Kiko comes from a troubled background, she was abused by her uncle as a young child and has an emotionally abusive mother. Her parents divorced when she was young and her father, although mentioned frequently, is not a strong presence in her life. Kiko blames herself for her Dad leaving.

I feel like this book had a lot of potential and I would read another book by this author . However the characters seemed very one-dimensional, especially the mother. Even from very early on, I felt that the relentlessness of her abuse and her total lack of any redeeming features made this storyline seems less authentic.
Kiko interchanges between being extremely insightful and hopeless clueless. Maybe this is normal for a teenager but it felt more like an adult trying to explain a teenager's thoughts and feelings rather than how a teenager would actually describe themselves.

I did like how each chapter ends with a description of what Kiko is painting. It brought out more of her personality. I thought the whole art storyline was well written.

I won't even go into detail about the 'romance' as that storyline didn't feel relevant to Kiko's life, it was just a convenient way to get her away from the family home so she could start to discover herself.

Hi. I read this book and I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START???

Starfish was so I incredibly beautiful. It's just that book WHERE YOU CAN'T EVEN. Words do not suffice at this point. What's the point of writing a review WHEN YOU CAN JUST READ THIS BOOK? I will try and fail, to review this book (but omg it's so much more than that). I have so much to say about this book BUT HOW DO I WRITE AGAIN?

Let's start with our Main Character, Kiko, WHO IS HALF-ASIAN (half white). Can we just appreciate that for a moment? While I couldn't really relate to her feeling out of place because of being Japanese (London is very multicultural) but Kiko is SO GOD DAMN SWEET AND REALISTIC. She goes through SO FREAKING MUCH and I just want to hug her and be like...FLIP LIFE ATM.

And her character arc is so beautiful. She has social anxiety (I think the rep was DONE REALLY REALLY EXTREMELY WELL. I don't have anxiety but GOSH, this was just described in such a real, raw way) and she likes to draw and paint (!!) and I love literally every sentence that was about her painting. Her passion, her hobby, was SO MAGICAL. I could literally see Kiko's paintings in front of my eyes.

This book had the best messages...LIKE EVER. It's all about beauty, HOW BEAUTY COMES IN DIFFERENT FORMS, how Asians can be pretty (I hate you Adam. just letting you know) how beauty is different, not just in one form, it's not blond hair and blue eyes, it's not celebrities and magazines, it's you and loving you and I JUST APPRECIATED THIS BOOK FOR THAT.

"Beauty isn't a single thing. Beauty is dreaming - it's different for everyone, and there are so many versions of it that you mostly have no control over how you see it."

And the romance was SPOT ON. I really really enjoyed it. it was perfect slow burn and Kiko made she was actually ready for Jamie, for a relationship. She gave time for herself, and at the end, she LOVED herself and no matter how much it pained her, she made herself stronger and she was stronger. She was such a strong character. And when they were together, OMG IT WAS WRITTEN PERFECTLY SO THAT I SHIPPED THEM TOO MUCH.

I really liked that Kiko got to know more about her Japanese Heritage. This was a lot about Kiko finding herself, loving herself, accepting herself and coming to terms with; YES SHE IS HALF-AISAN, YES SHE CAN BE PRETTY, SHE CAN't PLEASE EVERYONE, SOME LOVE IS TOXIC and literally the list goes on. What I'm trying to say, THE MESSAGES ARE SO PROMINENT AND RIGHT AND PERFECT and they're added so amazingly into the book.

The writing IS TO DIE FOR and I clicked with it immediately. I practically finished this book in one sitting and it was so addicting and so easy. I didn't feel like I had to concentrate, I was so immersed in the character's and what was happening which is super surprising for a contemporary book. Bowman IS ACTUALLY A MASTER AT WRITING. it is so pretty and want to add like 50 quotes from the book here. It wasn't slow at all, It was paced so well.

He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve; he keeps it in a locked box with all of his dreams and expressions because he doesn't want to share them with the rest of the world

Also rant time; The Mum

OMG KIKO'S MUM WAS UTTER TRASH. I get if she was going through tough times herself or had a mental illness but NO SHE IS JUST PLAIN RACIST... TO HER OWN CHILDREN Sorry she doesn't know what 'unconditional love is' Fine. Don't be a good mother but when (view spoiler) I officially hate starfishes now BECAUSE OMG YOU SELF-CENTRED little...UGHHH. I HATE her with a passion. She literally always ruins Kiko's mood and (view spoiler)Literally all she cares about is just HER REPUTATION and HER LIFe. GO FRICKING DIE OKAY. She literally changes her moods ALL THE TIME and makes everything about her. I could give you about a million examples of how Kiko's mum is SO WRONG IN EVERY WAY. She lies and SHE IS SO MANIPULATIVE.

And you know what. I GET Kiko for wanting her mother's love and approval. I so so get that. Because what child doesn't? I get why Kiko gave in nearly every time and I think that's what makes Kiko real. Because she's not perfect. She was a child who wanted her mum. AND I AM SO GLAD that was acknowledged and her character at the end, was different and she realised that her mum's love was some fake version of love! THANK YOU

I do think this had some parallel's with Eliza and her monsters; Art, brothers she doesn't really know, social anxiety but the stories definitely are very different. I just thought about this a lot when reading. I also would have loved more of some characters like; her best friend (forgot her name??), the dad and their side and a few more but I think everything was very seamless.I also think Jamie was a little TOO PERFECT but besides the point...

I need like a moment. No 78 moments. I had like emotions. No like 56 emotions. I can't even X 5678 okay?? THIS BOOK MADE ME WHOLE. It's just so so IMPORTANT and so BEAUTIFUL and it's exactly the kind of book YOU SHOULD BE READING RIGHT NOW.

Also please appreciate the cover. Thanks

Thank you Netgalley and Simon Pulse for the review copy! This has in no way affected my opinion of the book