Starfish

I loved the story and the reason for the title only became clear towards the end. I desperately wanted life to be kind for kiko and for her to gain confidence in herself. A great read for young people, especially those who find their ethnicity and family culture makes it difficult to place themselves in society. Who am i and where do i belong? We may not always voices these questions but most of us have internalised them along the journey of growing up.

The best thing about #ownvoices books is you can really tell how genuine they are, and how personal the characters and stories are. Every character in Starfish felt fleshed out and real, and the writing really brought that out. This felt like a step above regular teen fiction: there were none of the tropes I'm sick of, no useless girl-hate or misunderstandings leading to huge, pathetic fights, nor was there an irritating, out-of-the-blue focus on unrealistic romance. This was a gorgeous, honest, painful story that made me cry and I loved it. Kiko is a well-developed character I cared about, desperate for her to succeed throughout the book.

Let us first just take a moment to admire this book cover… HOW STUNNING IS THAT!? Shortly after I requested an ARC from NetGalley I received an email from the publishing team asking if I would like a copy of the cover. Naturally I jumped at this because it’s so beautiful and how could I pass up on the opportunity to include this in my bookstagram feed?

I love this combination of nebulae and universe background with the purples, and dark blues and the aquatic animals – that turtle is so adorable (they’re my favourite animals!) It has a artsy feel too which is perfect for this story; our protagonist – Kiko is a very skilled artist though unfortunately she doesn’t have the self-confidence she rightfully should, and would you if your mum never commented on your artwork? Never came to any exhibitions you were a part of. This was the first glimpse we really got of her mother’s behaviour towards here, and it didn’t end there – she would comment on Kiko’s appearance and continually put her down making her believe that beauty came in one form – and not Kiko’s.

This book was great at introducing and developing characters to us, particularly for Kiko’s family. As the story continues, Kiko feeds pieces of information from her past finally building up the story of what happened between her parents, why her siblings and herself are so scarred, and why it is so terrible that her Uncle is moving in with them.

I particularly loved her meeting with her childhood friend Jamie again; it was a whole new side of Kiko , and in terms of character development I really think she benefitted from him being there. Not only did it provide a character for Kiko to talk with and vent to but additionally it gave her opportunities she would’ve never had trapped in her house with her mother.

The story keeps up a great pace and is simply captivating. It highlights areas of society through Kiko’s art – standards for beauty and trying to conform. There are also darker themes of abuse, and suicide, but I think they’re handled with care and approached in a manner which deals with their impacts appropriately. This is something which is hard for an author to get right being such a sensitive subject but I really believe Bowman narrates these pieces with respect without losing the sincerity nor gravity of the issues.

I liked Kiko as a character a lot, she is quirky and bright, I just wish she knew that being herself is being her best. I would’ve loved to see some f the artwork mentioned throughout the book – often used to convey Kiko’s ideas rather than using specific words on the page.

Overall I’m rating this book 4.5*/5 – it was overall a great read and dealt with more serious themes appropriately. It would’ve been read as an illustrated piece I think, but the descriptions are vibrant and detailed enough to convey the main message. I will definitely be adding this book to my shelf when it is released; if you’re a fan of contemporary fiction then this will without doubt be a great read for you!

*TW: sexual abuse, mental abuse, attempted suicide

To be honest, I was not sure what awaited me before I read it. I had never heard of Starfish before, but the cover immediately made me look into it. Because that cover is definitely one of the most beautiful I have ever laid my eyes upon. And it sounded interesting, too.
This book follows Kiko, an Japanese-American girl who lives in a town where she is an outsider. Because she feels different for being Asian, she does not feel like she belongs. And she is not realy accepted which makes her self-conscious. Her mother only adds to her being uncomfortable in her skin because she is a narcissistic woman who looks exactly the way Kiko will never look: the personification of a good American woman. Kiko is mostly alone, her mother only cares about herself and her brothers are practically strangers, each of the siblings trying to protect themselves in their own ways.
But Kiko grows so much over the course of the story.
When Jamie, her childhood best friend, returns to the town, and helps her cope with everything. She does not rely on him, but she accepts his help and learns that she is not alone. But that there are indeed people who care for her. She slowly becomes the person she wants to be and accepts herself. That transformation was so wonderful to read about, it was so real and felt so harsh and raw and really got into me.
Kiko comes from a very broken family. As I said before, her mother is very egoistic and narcissistic, the father has left the family to live with his new love and their two children. Kiko’s older brothers copes by trying not to care about anything at all, her younger brother tries not to get any attention and learning more about Japanese culture. But none of them really talks about their feelings or about how bad it actually is, so of course the whole fragile drama is going to implode sooner or later. And it was written very detailed and I just sat there, being all emotional and rooting very much for Kiko and her brothers.

But the connection between Kiko and Jamie was written beautifully as well. Best friends once, they tried to pick up at that point again, but both of them have changed. They are not the people they knew anymore, but they try so hard and even though it is tough for them, they manage and get closer again and I just… I love them.

And also the whole thing with Kiko being great with art and art being a main theme through the book was great. Because through that, it was even better for the reader to see how much Kiko grows. She draws things that affect her life, she being different and being a target of racism, her narcissistic mother, her friends, the people who help her.

I don’t even know if there was anything I disliked about that book. Starfish is definitely a reading recommendation. I loved it. Very much. And it will be soemthing I’ll think about for a very long time. It was so, so intense.

I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This story totally blew me away. I have to say that I was mainly drawn to this book because of how gorgeous the cover is, so I didn’t have any preconceived notions about the story.

Kiko is half Japanese and lives with her 2 brothers and her Mother. Kiko has never felt like she fits in and her mother reinforces this by making her feel like she is not enough. Kiko dreams of going to Prism an art school in New York but when she doesn’t get accepted she embarks on a trip to California with a childhood friend to check out art schools on the West Coast.

This book really sick you in, I felt a certain kinship with Kiko, she is not a people person and finds social situations to be uncomfortably awkward. What this book is really about is accepting yourself and for Kiko this is the biggest challenge that she faces. Her mother constantly puts her down and in general her behavior towards Kiko is abhorrent, she totally disregards Kiko’s Japanese heritage and makes her feel that the only way you can be beautiful is if you are runway model perfect.

When Kiko leaves home for California and gets away from her mother she is finally able to find start seeing that beauty comes in many forms and starts to accept herself. She get’s’ to explore her Asian side and finds a place where she doesn’t feel like an outcast.

Readin this book brought a tear to my eye on more than one occasion, it touches on subjects that lots of people go through and I feel like Kiko’s character is very relatable. Her journey of self-discovery and acceptance is bittersweet that has lots ups and downs but I loved every single page.

“I don’t have to be white to be beautiful, just like I don’t have to be Asian to be beautiful. Because beauty doesn’t come in one mold.”

This truly a great read, that I would recommend you read because if you don’t you’ll be missing out.

Exactly 4 stars.

<i>Thank you netgalley and publisher for the arc, this review contains my honest and fair opinion.</i>

This book was a little confronting for me. For many reasons from being Asian myself (though not half) to struggle as an asian child in a community of non-asians, to other stuff that was more in common to me than I expected (that really made me uncomfortable.) But I have to say, among all the contemporary books, from your usual, to the those that have asian characters, from Jenny Han to well, Maureen Goo. Anyway. Let's just get right to it. I do want to point out before I forget - this was highly recommended it to me.

I really liked the change in family dynamics to what we're used to. This is from the eyes of an asian character that sounds very familiar yet also a lot deeper than we expected.

The story is also incredibly complicated. Kiko is very complicated. We have dynamics from Kiko's family, between her and her mum, her and her brothers, her and her father, her mother and father, her and her future, her and her desires, her and her social anxiety, her and Jamie, Jamie's family, and of course, the lifestyle of a small country town.

So, I want to point out some of the themes.
- Mother-daughter relationships
- Family relationships
- Being the 'odd' one out in predominantly single culture society
- Small towns
- Inner conflict
- Abuse - bother sexual and child
- Crazy mothers

And probably more.

There are a few I can relate to, but the majority, I can't, mostly because I've always been a city girl, my family doesn't have a mother crazy in the same kind of sense, and I was always the oldest child, so maybe I was a bit more like Taro, more apathetic than like Kiko. Kiko kind of reminded me a little bit of my brother. More outspoken, unable to hold back on how she feels. She sinks into the feeling, and though she doesn't say anything, she says other things. So I don't feel like I can one hundred percent relate to Kiko, even though I understood all of it.

<b>Kiko</b>. Why she's great? She's not our typical representation of asian in literature. Her depiction gives us something definitely not stereotypical, she's also half asian so she has a lot to deal with especially growing up in a small town. I loved the way she draws and paints, it's beautiful, and the way it's described is even more so. What I love most about her is her development as a character. It's a very typical but well developed coming of age story, and I love that she has to figure out where she needs to be and how to get there and how to grow some Ladyballs.
Why I couldn't relate 100%? Because Kiko was very emotional. She let it all out while holding back on her mother at times, for various reasons, and that's not an experience I could understand. There were some moments where I wanted to yell at her that she's being a starfish (not like her mum but) too. Especially when it comes to her brothers and her own problems. It's an unusual feeling really. Since I don't hate it, when usually Kiko might have irritated me. Because there were times when she comes close to be too self-focussed. But just when I think that'll happen, Bowman justifies and opens Kiko's mind.

<b>Jamie.</b> He is adorably sweet. He was a great character to contrast Kiko's anxiety. But part of me wishes he was less knight in shining armour. It was nice, but he was too understanding sometimes, and yes, they did disagree and they did blow up at each other, they were the sweetest part of the story.

<b>Her mother</b> was pretty much the meanest thing in this book. She is Cinderella's evil stepmother. She has issues, mental issues, and that she often has to be the centre of the world that means she has to make others feel bad in return. Or worries about how others think about her. In saying that, I feel her mother was not thoroughly dealt with (that doesn't feel like the right way to describe it). Her story with Kiko is dealt with in Kiko's perspective, but as a person, it seems that she was just simply abandoned, which is probably something that should have been dealt with (still dealt with isn't the right way to describe this).

<b>Her brothers</b> were a good contrast to Kiko, but I would have liked to see more about their relationship with her. Because they seemed to have such a small role, I feel like it was a bit harder to believe Kiko's concern for Shoji. I mean it was great at the beginning, but when she disappears to California, we don't, as readers, see her call Shoji often or even Taro (I expect she'd call Shoji more than she would an older bro who's a bit distant), so it didn't feel 'real' to me. But this is just from my perspective and my experience, I can't say the same about everyone else. But I would have liked to see more actual interactions between Kiko and Shoji. I mean come on...you know what your mother is like, she's driven you up the wall, you don't think she won't move onto the next target? Taro is apathetic, and he's happy to move about as he needs. But Shoji is a kid. He's too young and he relies on his mother. Before Kiko left, I'll bet he was relying on her to deflect the bullets and while I don't look at Kiko as someone who has to take the brunt of everything, and who herself was going through a lot of things herself as in the nature of being young, then it was obvious that Shoji wasn't going to be okay. So yes, I would have liked to see more of that.

<b>Writing</b> is beautiful, but sometimes it can do a few things, borders on those things: 1) Make Kiko seem a bit too focussed on her own feelings that it seems like she doesn't care about what her mother feels, this could have been avoided more if had more insight into her mother's mind. 2) The story is very packed with many conflicts, which does well for characters and helps deepen their stories, but I do wish that perhaps their conflicts were more deeply explored? For example we see and hear Jamie's parents disagreements, but in the end it bordered on becoming a device for moving Kiko's story. In saying that, it didn't make Jamie seem like only a tool, it did give him three-dimensionality. And we hear about the mother, but her own story is left at abandonment as punishment, her illness as the problem, but well, it's not really solved.
But putting this aside, the writing itself is very beautiful. I love the way Bowman uses her words to describes the paintings Kiko paints (and the drawing she draws). I wish I could see them for real!

<b>Overall</b>
I did really enjoy this book! It might have confronted myself in ways that makes writing this review hard, but I can't say I hated it. I far from hated it. And I would definitely recommend it. There's probably a lot more I could say, but it's slipped my mind for now!

This is a wonderful story about family love.
I just could not put this down.

This story follows Kiko who struggles with self-doubt and anxiety. Her family situation isn't perfect and she is different from the rest of those in her town. With a half-Japanese heritage she struggles to discover who she while fighting against her demons and being trod on by her mother. Initially I believed that this would be a story about the pressure parents put onto their children and although this features to an extent, it wasn't the kind of pressure for perfection I believed it would be. Rather, it was the pressure to be the person you know you can be and not the person that you are forced into being.

Kiko is an artist and her art reflects her mental position throughout the book. At the beginning she lacks confidence in her abilities and instead shows work that she isn't proud of. This stems partly from her social anxiety which is very well portrayed throughout the book with her friend knowing how far to push her in social situations. When compared to Jamie, he struggles initially with making sure his childhood friend is comfortable in situations - he doesn't know how to deal with anxiety. I found that this worked well as it is a representative look at how friends of those who suffer from anxiety are not always able to react correctly to the situation.

Jamie is a character whose friendship with Kiko is sweet although some of the revelations through the book with sour this slightly. However, this character flaw ensures that he isn't simply the perfect pretty boy. Their relationship comes across as natural and evolves well with the book.

Kiko's family is another thread throughout the book. She has two brothers who handle the psychological abuse they receive from their mother differently. Their mother is simply described as manipulative and evil - so evil that you wonder how Kiko can justify her actions. I believe this stems from the fact that Kiko knows no better, this behaviour is seen as normal for her as it is all she has ever known. The events that bring her home to the end of the book is a position that no child should ever feel is their only option.

I enjoyed this read, it has emotion threaded throughout making you happy then sad all in one chapter. The writing is beautifully done with a story full of heartbreak and redemption.

Occasionally I stumble across a book that I will remember forever because it was that bloody good. Starfish was perfect in every single way. The writing was superb, Akemi was able to make me feel so many different emotions at once. Anger, sadness and at times happiness. Needless to say, this book is crazy important and I think everyone should read it.

Kiko is an important character as she represents millions of young people that struggle with their identity. She is half Japanese, from her father’s side and half American. Her mother, to put it ever so bluntly, is a complete asshole. Kiko’s mother constantly puts her down and isn’t shy about telling her daughter that she would be more beautiful if she had blonde hair, a straight nose and basically looked “less Asian”. Her mother, who should love her daughter unconditionally, is a racist. It broke my heart. I can’t begin to imagine the sadness that Kiko has in her heart, feeling so out of place in the world. Not only must she deal with this from fellow peers but also from her own mother.

Kiko deals with her social anxiety throughout this story. She wants to shine, to be independent from all the worries and hate but she is at constant war with herself. Her escapism is through art – it’s her passion in life and makes her happy. I found I was able to relate to Kiko as I also suffer from anxiety. Her struggle showed me and can show many other sufferers that you are not alone. I liked how Akemi did not write a character to “save” Kiko as she does not need saving.

The romance in Starfish made my heart flutter. I wanted it so much for Kiko because she deserved so much happiness. I won’t say too much as I really don’t want to spoil it!!

The pace of the book was steady and was consistent throughout. At no point did the story feel rushed. Akemi developed the world beautifully with her words and created a timeless story for those who alsostruggle, like Kiko did, and help them to find comfort and courage through reading Starfish.

There are trigger warnings of sexual abuse in this book, so please be aware.

I would like to thank Simon Pulse and Akemi Dawn Bowman for sending me this ARC via NetGalley in exchange for my honest review.

Starfish tells a story about a young half Japanese woman Kiko, and her emotional journey of self discovery and strength as she struggles to cope with being rejected from her dream art school, Prism. With her best friend, Emery, leaving town, Kiko loses her crutch and starts to make the first steps into the world on her own, and her less than understanding, and self absorbed mother doesn't make it any easier for her. Gradually as the story is told, Kiko learns about the true meaning of beauty, friendship, and family and finds a strength in her she didn't realise she had, but was there all along.

"I feel weird just standing there listening. Do other people do that? Move from circle to circle, socialising with everyone like they all know each other? It seems invasive. I don't know the rules."

This novel is told from Kiko's point of view, which I absolutely loved. So much of what she said resonated so strongly with me, particularly when she describes and draws about her experience with social anxiety. The anxiety was represented beautifully, and there were so many points in the book where I felt it was echoing exactly the sorts of things I've felt. In my head, I was mentally saying. "This is me. This is me. I've been there," so many times, which made the whole story all the more poignant and personal.

I love the little descriptions of her sketches at the ends of the chapters an seeing how they evolved as Kiko grows as a person and learns about how to be strong and deal with her hideous mother which has had such a strangling and suffocating effect on her, and her siblings.

I adored that as the story progressed, she was self aware enough to realise that she needed to do a bit of healing, on her own. That Jamie can't 'save' her, and before she can let people into her life, and love them, she needs to learn to accept and love herself,

This book is just beautiful and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

* This ebook ARC was provided by Black & White Publishing through NetGalley for an honest review.

I really liked this book. It had a strong and amazing representation of social anxiety which I could relate to myself and It was refreshing to see it well done.

It was heartbreaking to read and just overall beautiful.

I’m struggling to get words out to describe how i feel but I absolutely loved it, truly. The writing was absolutely stunning and I had to take breaks just to take in what I was reading.

I loved the romance and how it slowly came about and wasn’t at all forced.

I definitely recommend you to read this book! I’ll write a full review closer to release date.

My first NetGalley review!

Beautifully written and poignant this is the story of half-Japanese Kiko and her emotionally abusive, manipulative white mother who constantly criticizes Kiko and her looks. Apparently she can do nothing right and this has given Kiko a severe case of anxiety and co-dependency, initially leaning on best friend Emery she switches to childhood friend Jamie after Emery leaves for college.

Two shy brothers, and a father I'd like to know about, plus a fascinating Japanese artist round out an interesting cast of characters. The character development was brilliant and I loved how Kiko matured and grew up and learned to handle her anxiety and become independent.

I absolutely loved the story and I thought it flowed very well. I was drawn in and I couldn't put it down, I loved Akemi's writing style and I can't wait to read more from her.

“ The painting isn't about the starfish. It's about the girl who wants to venture out into the ocean, away from the starfish, so she can feel like she matters. ”

An ARC was provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

This was really beautiful and raw. I did not expect to read such raw and unfiltered emotion in Starfish, and to find my own thoughts and insecurities written so matter-of-fact in a book.

Kiko is such an inspirational and lovable character. I truly wanted the best for this girl. Kiko lives with her self-obsessed mother and two brothers. She is half Japanese and half white, which proves to be a struggle in a small Nebraskan town where no one looks like her. It doesn't help that her mother is so self-obsessed she doesn't see her own children's struggle - and Kiko only wants love from her mother. Something she can't seem to get.

I was so invested in the well-being of Kiko, and it was an absolute honor to follow her journey - and learn something about myself along the way.
Because even though I am white, and don't know the struggle of not being white enough or Japanese enough, I found myself relating to Kiko's deep struggle with self-worth. Kiko's journey didn't just teach about what it's like to be half-half in a predominantly white society, she also taught me something about myself and how I relate to myself and others. Through her experiences and epiphanies I found myself.

I honestly have so many thoughts and wonderful things to point out about this book, but I realise it's easier to just say it in a few words, and hopefully it will inspire you to pick up this book when it is released.

Kiko's story isn't just about Kiko. Like the author states herself in her own review, this is a story for and about you. It's about you knowing that someone else out there gets it. Someone out there knows what it's like to be lonely and afraid. Someone knows your struggle, and they brought your voice to the page through Kiko. Through Kiko's anxiety and history with sexual and emotional abuse, Bowman brings your story to life. And I think that's beautiful.

I’ve read many books that involve following their journey of self discovery and growing up but I’ll be completely honest, I’ve not read any like starfish.

It’s obvious through reading this book that the author has a real connection to the story, and the passion that is woven throughout it does not go unnoticed. I find that such a connection is quite rare to see in books these days!
The plot is entirely original, following Kiko’s touching and at times heartbreaking journey of self discovery through growing up and having many different experiences/emotions.

I fell in love with the character after only a couple of pages in, the way this book is written makes it completely relateable as you suffer and try to escape Kiko’s anxiety and self destructive thoughts along with her; I can’t give her enough credit for being so strong!

Brilliant book, really touching and is definitely a book I will remember.

Thank you for the opportunity to read it, I’m very appreciative and I will definitely be purchasing a hard copy for myself and for friends.

Ohhhh booooy was this book intense! It was such an emotional rollercoaster tbh. I would just like to say that Kiko's mum is absolutely the worst person i've read about, I just hate her so much. Starfish indeed.

I really loved Kiko, and watching her grow, and watching her learn to love herself and escape and learn who she was as a person as well as learning what real love is, whether romantic, platonic or familial love.

I especially like at the end of chapters, where Kiko would draw something to reflect her mood, it just was such a great way to get to know her more too.

I just don't even know what else to say tbh haha, except prepare yourself emotionally before reading this book, because it is so raw and emotional and intense, that you need to be ready

Tbh I would've liked it to maybe be a little bit longer at the end though


Trigger Warnings for emotional abuse, sexual abuse and suicide attempt

Starfish is the story of a mixed-race girl growing up with difficulty in small town Nebraska, and deals with issues such as identity, anxiety, sexual abuse and race. Her mom is just THE WORST and it’s a frustrating read at times because Kiko has no emotional support of any kind. 3.5 stars bumped up to 4 for the rating system - extra points for how well it deals with issues of race and identity.

(I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review)

Kiko, an aspiring artist, is about to graduate from high school and ready to leave home. Wanting to escape from her toxic relationship with her narcissistic mother.

When Kiko is not accepted in her no.1 art school, which would have been a fresh start away from home, she decides to travel to California with her childhood best friend. It is there where she tries to find her identity in this world and deals with obstacles in her life with the help of her friend and an artist who takes her under his wing.

This book touches topics like racism, anxiety, sexual and emotional abuse, and suicide. The way Akemi Dawn Bowman weaved all this into the story was authentic; it felt real.

Kiko is a great narrator, I liked how she switches from what she wanted to say to what she actually said. Or how detailed she describes her anxiety, something I can identify with. And how her descriptions of her drawings at the of a chapter were so visual for me and matched her feelings in that moment. I absolutely loved reading Starfish and love the cover!

Thank you, Back &White Publishing, and NetGalley for my eARC.

An absolutely brilliant, realistic and heartbreaking story.

Starfish is the story of Kiko, a seventeen-year-old artist with a dream of being accepted into Prism, her dream art school. Getting into this school wasn’t just a dream, it was a need. But, when Kiko doesn’t get accepted she faces the reality that she will have to stay at home with her guilt-tripping, lying mother and abusive uncle. However, when an old friend returns and offers her an opportunity to visit the West Coast and possible art schools Kiko braves her anxieties and fears to try to break-free of the constricting walls she calls home.

Firstly, I would like to thank Akemi Dawn Bowman for writing the most accurate and well-written representations of social anxiety that I have ever read. As someone who has social anxiety it felt amazing to see this handled with such love and care. The conversations Kiko has with Jamie are almost mirror images of conversations I have had with people when it comes to going to parties or spending time with people I don’t know or going somewhere I’m not comfortable. I can’t begin to describe how it felt to see something I struggle with being portrayed so perfectly!

Kiko is such an amazing and relate-able character. I felt connected to her almost instantly. It made all of her struggles and emotions more impactful and I truly felt for her and followed her in her highs and lows. She just wants to get out! And I truly relate to that. Her mother is basically psychologically abusive and there were multiple times in the book that just made me want to scream! Psychological abuse is definitely not something you hear about often enough. It is serious and can have a real long-lasting effect on someone as shown in this book and shouldn’t be overlooked.

I liked Jamie as a supporting character. He didn’t really “get it” in regards to Kiko’s anxiety and you could see that, but he was trying and he cared so much. I liked the fact that Bowman did this. You had Kiko’s friendship with Emery that showed a great friendship between someone with anxiety and someone who understood and knew what to do in certain situations. Then you had the relationship where someone didn’t know what to do and the one with anxiety not knowing how to express it. For me, one of the hardest things to do is explain to people that I have social anxiety. It’s like, how do I explain this in a way that they will understand but not judge and its hard. So I loved that you can see the struggle from both sides.

The biracial representation is so well done and different. I can’t name another character of the top of my head that’s biracial so I’m glad it is being represented. You get given a good perspective from an author that knows what they are talking about and you can really feel and understand Kiko’s struggle that she might never belong being half-Japanese and half-Caucasian.

Overall, I simply adore Starfish. The writing is simply amazing and inspirational and goes into a mental health issue that not everyone takes seriously. I have so many highlights on my Kindle, seriously there are pages of it. The story is as motivational as it is heartbreaking and my heart broke on numerous occasions for Kiko. This may be one of the few books where I don’t mind the romantic subplot because it is, almost, never at the forefront of the book. Starfish is about the progression of a young woman in an important part in her life learning how to accept and be true to herself for the first time.

This book does come with some trigger warnings for mental illness, family abuse/neglect and childhood sexual abuse.

Starfish review

Kiko has always felt like an outsider, her mother doesn’t seem to care about her, she only has one friend. However she finds solace in her art and hopes that she get into Prism art college and get away from her mother and start a new life. This all comes falling down when Kiko fails into get into Prism and to make matters worse, her uncle moves in.
So Kiko leaves town and tours arts schools with a childhood friend Jamie and hopefully she can start another life.
Starfish has been the best book I’ve read so far this year. It is a very moving and emotional book that had me crying, laughing and shouting out loud at times. It is a brilliant YA book. There are a few shocks in Starfish that pulled the rug from under my feet. Starfish will also stay with me for a long time. Starfish is also perfect for those who have felt liked they have never fitted in.

Starfish follows Kiko, a growing artist, who dreams being accepted into her dream art school and finally be free of her abusive mother.

Starfish was brutal and brilliant, all in one go. Kiko’s story was tough to read but so authentic to experience. I truly loved the sections where it shows what Kiko wanted to say versus what she actually says. It was a great way of showing Kiko’s struggle and the art description at the end of each chapter were beautiful. I loved the writing and the way Akemi wrote this story, as we read about Kiko’s journey accept herself. I found myself connecting with Kiko on so many levels, Starfish was indeed an experience to read.

I will warn you, Bowman did say she wrote this for people who need to see their experiences brought to life, and, boy, she did do exactly that. It was a struggle to read this. Her mother’s behaviour is nauseating to read but felt so real.

Although the romance isn’t a massive subplot in this book, it wasn’t the most enjoyable part of it, partly because of Jamie’s ignorance. I get that he doesn’t understand (spoiler-ish, we learn from one of the reveals, that he sort of does) but there were too many moments where Kiko’s anxiety was being framed as absurd and not usual from his lines. And him submitting Kiko’s art and showing her images to others without her knowledge and permission was teeth-grindingly annoying. We get it, he loves her, but forcing her into certain things wasn’t okay for me.

Overall, Akemi has created a beautiful and emotional story about learning to love yourself when others told you it’s impossible. Read it if you can, it’s not one to be missed.

TW: sexual abuse, racism, emotional abuse, parental abuse/neglect, suicide attempt. (If you’ve read the book and feel like I’ve missed something else, please tell me!)

Possibly one of the nicest covers I've seen for a long time. Starfish is so very very good. It is just lovely but so sad at times. It does a superb job of representing mental illness, in this case, anxiety. At times Starfish can be hard to read due to how honest and raw it is but for me that is what makes it so good.

Hi. I read this book and I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START???

Starfish was so I incredibly beautiful. It's just that book WHERE YOU CAN'T EVEN. Words do not suffice at this point. What's the point of writing a review WHEN YOU CAN JUST READ THIS BOOK? I will try and fail, to review this book (but omg it's so much more than that). I have so much to say about this book BUT HOW DO I WRITE AGAIN?

Let's start with our Main Character, Kiko, WHO IS HALF-ASIAN (half white). Can we just appreciate that for a moment? While I couldn't really relate to her feeling out of place because of being Japanese (London is very multicultural) but Kiko is SO GOD DAMN SWEET AND REALISTIC. She goes through SO FREAKING MUCH and I just want to hug her and be like...FLIP LIFE ATM.

And her character arc is so beautiful. She has social anxiety (I think the rep was DONE REALLY REALLY EXTREMELY WELL. I don't have anxiety but GOSH, this was just described in such a real, raw way) and she likes to draw and paint (!!) and I love literally every sentence that was about her painting. Her passion, her hobby, was SO MAGICAL. I could literally see Kiko's paintings in front of my eyes.

This book had the best messages...LIKE EVER. It's all about beauty, HOW BEAUTY COMES IN DIFFERENT FORMS, how Asians can be pretty (I hate you Adam. just letting you know) how beauty is different, not just in one form, it's not blond hair and blue eyes, it's not celebrities and magazines, it's you and loving you and I JUST APPRECIATED THIS BOOK FOR THAT.

"Beauty isn't a single thing. Beauty is dreaming - it's different for everyone, and there are so many versions of it that you mostly have no control over how you see it."

And the romance was SPOT ON. I really really enjoyed it. it was perfect slow burn and Kiko made she was actually ready for Jamie, for a relationship. She gave time for herself, and at the end, she LOVED herself and no matter how much it pained her, she made herself stronger and she was stronger. She was such a strong character. And when they were together, OMG IT WAS WRITTEN PERFECTLY SO THAT I SHIPPED THEM TOO MUCH.

I really liked that Kiko got to know more about her Japanese Heritage. This was a lot about Kiko finding herself, loving herself, accepting herself and coming to terms with; YES SHE IS HALF-AISAN, YES SHE CAN BE PRETTY, SHE CAN't PLEASE EVERYONE, SOME LOVE IS TOXIC and literally the list goes on. What I'm trying to say, THE MESSAGES ARE SO PROMINENT AND RIGHT AND PERFECT and they're added so amazingly into the book.

The writing IS TO DIE FOR and I clicked with it immediately. I practically finished this book in one sitting and it was so addicting and so easy. I didn't feel like I had to concentrate, I was so immersed in the character's and what was happening which is super surprising for a contemporary book. Bowman IS ACTUALLY A MASTER AT WRITING. it is so pretty and want to add like 50 quotes from the book here. It wasn't slow at all, It was paced so well.

He doesn't wear his heart on his sleeve; he keeps it in a locked box with all of his dreams and expressions because he doesn't want to share them with the rest of the world

Also rant time; The Mum

OMG KIKO'S MUM WAS UTTER TRASH. I get if she was going through tough times herself or had a mental illness but NO SHE IS JUST PLAIN RACIST... TO HER OWN CHILDREN Sorry she doesn't know what 'unconditional love is' Fine. Don't be a good mother but when (view spoiler) I officially hate starfishes now BECAUSE OMG YOU SELF-CENTRED little...UGHHH. I HATE her with a passion. She literally always ruins Kiko's mood and (view spoiler)Literally all she cares about is just HER REPUTATION and HER LIFe. GO FRICKING DIE OKAY. She literally changes her moods ALL THE TIME and makes everything about her. I could give you about a million examples of how Kiko's mum is SO WRONG IN EVERY WAY. She lies and SHE IS SO MANIPULATIVE.

And you know what. I GET Kiko for wanting her mother's love and approval. I so so get that. Because what child doesn't? I get why Kiko gave in nearly every time and I think that's what makes Kiko real. Because she's not perfect. She was a child who wanted her mum. AND I AM SO GLAD that was acknowledged and her character at the end, was different and she realised that her mum's love was some fake version of love! THANK YOU

I do think this had some parallel's with Eliza and her monsters; Art, brothers she doesn't really know, social anxiety but the stories definitely are very different. I just thought about this a lot when reading. I also would have loved more of some characters like; her best friend (forgot her name??), the dad and their side and a few more but I think everything was very seamless.I also think Jamie was a little TOO PERFECT but besides the point...

I need like a moment. No 78 moments. I had like emotions. No like 56 emotions. I can't even X 5678 okay?? THIS BOOK MADE ME WHOLE. It's just so so IMPORTANT and so BEAUTIFUL and it's exactly the kind of book YOU SHOULD BE READING RIGHT NOW.

Also please appreciate the cover. Thanks

Thank you Netgalley and Simon Pulse for the review copy! This has in no way affected my opinion of the book