I really enjoyed this book by Jessica Pan. I did a similar experiment a few years ago which I called the "Year of Yes" where I forced myself to say "yes" to anything someone invited me to in an effort to make more friends and strengthen my current relationships. Jessica's stories rang so true and are fun and. engaging to read through. Her humor also is enjoyable and this book reads like chatting with a good friend and laughing about how awkward meeting new people is (because, well... it is).

This book started off interesting and relatable and just started dragging on. The author is on a journey of interacting more with people. She learns to have deeper conversations with strangers, and to not have so much anxiety. It’s a narrative on her process to becoming more sociable and having more friends.

Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come: An Introvert's Year of Living Dangerously was a sweet natured read. Being an introvert myself I was immediately attracted to this book (like all other introverts I think) because I eagerly wanted see how an introvert would go living as an extrovert. It thus wasn't completely what I had expected. There were no gloriously huge mishaps or dramatic sequences (as I had hoped), but rather calculated experiences in how to put one's self out there. While this was essentially what I started the book for, I found Jessica Pan's comedic approach towards every event slightly overbearing. With everything constantly exaggerated, the truly funny moments were lost to me in the chatter of trying to bring every experience up to the same level. I'm not sure if this was to compensate for the lack of 'drama' throughout the book, but I do feel a more serious tone would have been welcome. The truly comedic moments would have been able to shine and the inclusion of real life statistics and conversations with experts (which I found really interesting), would not have been as jarring and disruptive to the flow of the text. I actually would have loved more real world information and numbers on loneliness and today's expected societal standards.

I don't know why Marley and Me comes to mind as an example when I think of the tone I wish this book had... possibly because the balance between comedy and just telling the story was so perfect. The comedic moments just arrived by a matter of fact rather than being forced into existence through exaggerated descriptions.

Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come overall is a really interesting read. It was insightful and informative, and I would recommend it to any introvert and even extrovert who wants to gain insight into our little brains. Regardless of my preferences for a more serious tone, the light-hearted nature of the book made the information presented enjoyable and easy to read. A very informative and fun book.

What would happen if a shy introvert lived like a gregarious extrovert for one year? If she knowingly and willingly put herself in perilous social situations that she’d normally avoid at all costs? Writer Jessica Pan intends to find out. With the help of various extrovert mentors, Jessica sets up a series of personal challenges (talk to strangers, perform stand-up comedy, host a dinner party, travel alone, make friends on the road, and much, much worse) to explore whether living like an extrovert can teach her lessons that might improve the quality of her life. Chronicling the author’s hilarious and painful year of misadventures, this book explores what happens when one introvert fights her natural tendencies, takes the plunge, and tries (and sometimes fails) to be a little bit braver.

I could relate to this book so much! There were so many times I laughed and said sounds like something I would do. I've always wanted to try and not be introverted, so it was great reading what the author went through. She was funny and honest, I loved it!

Thank you #NetGalley for the ARC of #SorryImLateIdidntWantToCome
Pub Date: 28 May 2019

I feel like I somehow wrote this book (or at least the begining) and didn't even realize it. Jessica Pan describes how you can be a "shy introvert" and, oh my god, it describes me 100%. She references the book <i>Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking</i> (which I added to my TBR list), writing that introverts concentrate well, relish solitude, dislike small talk, love one-on-one conversations, and avoid public speaking. On the same note, Pan writes that she as a "very real allergy" to small talk (i.e. discussing jobs, weather, and commutes) and how introverts hate chit chat. Yep....totally me.

Basically, I really enjoyed the premise of this book: an introvert trying to branch out out of her comfort zone and be around people when she'd rather be home curled up on her couch. It made me realize that sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zone (even if its scary as hell) and try to meet people because as humans we're meant to be social beings. In a time of social media when we can just hide behind screens all day long, getting some face-to-face interaction with people is still necessary.

However, no matter how desperately this introvert might want to interact with new people and make new friends, you will never catch me doing improv or performing stand up. I'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard for an hour.

As an introvert- or shintrovert myself I found parts of this book comforting and relatable and other parts absolutely terrifying. I really loved the first half of the book as she wrote about her social experiments and I could relate and actually see myself trying things such as randomly talking to strangers and pushing myself to try new things. But later in the book it started to feel a bit uncomfortable as she pushed harder to do things that caused her a great deal of stress, lack of sleep and anxiety. I didn't know why she wanted to do this to herself! I do agree it's good to push ourselves and get outside of our comfort zones a bit but not to the point of feeling terrible and not being able to sleep. I've spent a lot of my life trying to be more of an "extrovert" and a few years ago finally accepted that I am truly an introvert and honoring that. Of course that is not to say I will not try things within reason. I do love the conversational writing and found myself cracking up often while reading this book (again more so in the first half) and kudos to Jessica for finishing out her year and sharing her story. Thanks to Andrew McMeel Publishing and Netgalley for an ARC copy in exchange for an honest review.

A funny introspective memoir of Pan, a self-described "shintrovert" (shy introvert) who takes a year to live like an extrovert. She challenges the way she uses introversion as a crutch to avoid certain things that made her scared or uncomfortable. She takes improv classes, surprise trips, learns how to make friends.

Pan balances appreciating introversion, but knowing when to embrace extrovert tactics in order to be a bit less lonely. While I am a deep shintrovert, Pan made me think about the ways I, too, use my introversion to avoid doing stuff i just don't want to do and look for ways to challenge myself more. Though I will NEVER take an improv class.

The author is funny and honest, challenging without attacking, always acknowledging that her experience is her own, never trying to NOT be an introvert. A delightful read.

When I was a junior, my high school offered a poetry writing contest.
I entered and didn't tell a soul.
No one knew until it was announced over the loud speaker that I had won first place.
Teachers, friends, classmates, my parents.... were SHOCKED.
The even bigger catch....
I had to read my poem (which also had a visual aspect) in front of the school board, along with all the other winners.

I wanted to throw up. I cried on the drive there. I was so thankful I included my visual aspect (I wrote my poem in the shape of a question mark and only included questions in the poem). Which they displayed on the big screen at the front of the room. I thought, "Good, people will be looking at that and not me."

I got up there, I read my poem, got off stage and asked my mom how I did and if you could tell my face was covered in bright red fire up there.... and her response?
"I didn't look at you because I thought it'd make you more nervous."
LOL THANKS MOM.

But honestly, I'm glad I did it. I've given countless presentations since then and I think that was the first one that kicked me in the ass. That being said, Jessica Pan struggled with a lot of the same issues and she set out on a year of extroversion. She was determined to make her friends, better herself, and even got a few fun stories out of it.

Now I could never imagine doing some of the stuff she did, ex. see chapters "Everest or Stand Up Comedy" and "La-La-Land or Traveling Solo."

But I see a lot of myself in her and finally understand why I hate small talk...it's because I want the meat of what makes people tick. I want to know intimate details about their lives and understand who they were when they were living through it. I don't care how the weather is, I don't care that traffic was bad. I want to know WHY you love/hate this weather or what was really bothering you when that guy cut you off in traffic.

Her year of extroverting gave her a new sense of what it means to be an introvert.
She found a happy medium between the two and I think we could all use a little help finding that line.

Huge thank you to NetGalley, Andrew McNeels Publishing, and to Jessica Pan for providing me with a copy of Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come.

I am so glad I found this book!

Ever feel like your introvert personality is holding you back in life? Keeping you from meeting new people, making new friends, chasing your dreams? Maybe it's time you embraced the extrovert side that's just dying to come out. That's exactly what Jessica Pan did for a year. Instead of remaining shy and trying to avoid a lot of contact with people, she decided to push herself in a bunch of different ways - talking to strangers on the train, traveling alone, taking an improv class, even doing some public speaking! Along the way, she meets many interesting people who advise her on the best way to be more social and open to surprises in life.

As an introvert myself, I could relate 100 percent to the anecdotes Pan includes. I too would run the opposite direction from stand-up comedy classes or dinner parties (I hate small talk!) Although I'm not as brave as Pan, I really admired her courage to face her fears. She writes with a funny, yet emotional tone, so it's easy to connect with her. I really loved the writing style and tone of this book and will definitely recommend it to my fellow introverts.

Wow! What a fantastic journey! I loved Jessica Pan's writing and appreciate the way she opened herself up to the world and exposed some of her deepest fears and dragged us readers along (willingly) on her journey to face them and challenge the things that she finds most terrifying. Kudos to her for being willing to do this to herself -- Ms. Pan, you probably don't know how much you've done for all the other introverts out here in the world!

When I think of overcoming some of the things I find difficult as an introvert, I'm thinking joining Toastmasters is a step out of my comfort zone. Improv? Standup comedy? Acting in a play? Asking unwitting strangers crazy questions? It's clear it's all a journey and none of this stuff will kill you, although it probably feels like it should. Loved her wry sense of humor and sense of optimism tinged with dread that's imbued throughout the book, and I am amazed by her sense of purpose and courage to put herself out there just to see if she can accomplish her goals (when she could have just curled up on the sofa and read a book or binge watched Netflix). Just saying.

I recommended this book to a good friend, with this caveat: Don't sit down and read it all at once like a novel. This book needs to be savored, and can't be appreciated as well if you just plow through it to get 'er done. I will make sure we incorporate this book in our displays at my library and will push it through readers' advisory. This would be a great read for our book club.

Please give this woman another book contract, Pronto! I'd give it 10 stars if I could.

I loved this book! A lifelong introvert (shintrovert - shy introvert) decides to try out some extroverted activities in an attempt to become more outgoing. For a year, the author participates in activities like improv, stand-up, talking to strangers, and traveling alone. Though this is my worst nightmare, I found this book engaging and inspiring, and I found myself wanting to try a similar experiment. I would definitely purchase this book for my library, and I think any introvert could benefit from giving it a read.

I enjoyed this book! I thought it was really funny and well-written, and i definitely identified with it as an introvert. Some of the situations that Jessica put herself into gave me a bit of anxiety, but I loved to see how she dealt with her uncertainty. I think this book was a good reminder to step out of my comfort zone more often!

Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come is something all of us could have said at one point in our lives if we were being more honest and less polite.

It's also the title of Jessica Pan's hilarious and insightful memoir, chronicling a year in this shy introvert's life as she challenges herself to spend a year talking to strangers, accepting social invitations, making new friends, and otherwise living like an extrovert.

Jessica Pan is very down to earth, and the book reads like a conversation with a good friend. It's no surprise to hear that she is accepted to do a storytelling event with The Moth- when you hear this story you will laugh, cringe, and smile right along with her.

Pan consults experts in areas such as social anxiety, public speaking, charisma, and stand-up comedy and uses the information she gathers to take steps outside her comfort zone. She shares this insight, information from her research, and personal observations and experiences with readers.

The result is inspiring and informative; I can't remember the last book I highlighted so many passages to refer back to. I found it relatable as an introvert, but I feel that what Pan has to say could help more than those like herself.

I'd recommend this fast and insightful read to introverts, those that love them, people who want to get outside their comfort zones, improve their public speaking skills, make new friends, or have more meaningful connections with people in their lives. I believe that anyone reading could find something to take away from this fun book.

I received this ARC book in exchange for my honest review.

The title caught my eye first on this book and made me want to read it. This isn't just a book for introverts,
It is a good read with witty commentary, that most readers would enjoy. Some of the material felt a bit repetitive at times but overall I liked it.

If you’re an introvert go get a copy of this book!
OMG! This book! It was like reading a mirror. In my notes I wrote “this lady might actually be me.” I mean she even moved to China and took a job that terrified her. I took a job in China that forced me to spend 18 hours a week teaching a class of strangers and the other 22 hours planning (read stressing) about those classes. It was awful and amazing. I did both better and worse than I ever imagined I could and it was mostly better. Reading Jessica Pan’s experience of such a similar situation was rewarding and made me feel connected to a complete stranger like only a good book can.
Jessica Pan even had the same reaction to Quiet by Susan Cain as I did. I felt so relieved reading Quiet. It felt like it was okay to be more for once and it was okay to not want to talk to complete strangers and make friends in public places for no reason other than liking people. And just like Pan I used Quiet as an excuse to “accept” the introvert version of myself.
“I had taken my introvert status as a license to wall myself off from others.”
What that means was that I decided I had a license to hide from the whole world until I started to become agoraphobic and had a real panic attack every time I went into WalMart. I didn’t spend much time out of the house. I finished my master’s degree online and then stayed home with nothing to do and no one to talk to (my husband worked) and slowly retreated to a very dark place where there was no reason to wake up. Fast forward through China, finding out I have thyroid tumors (most likely benign), a couple self-help books, and the realization that I am responsible for my life and here I am today working in my career as a librarian and working at WalMart smiling and complimenting complete strangers. No panic attacks yet.
The only negative I have found in this is that it sometimes makes me less empathetic towards people who have anxiety. I still have anxiety, but it is much less than it was a year ago. I find myself inwardly shrugging when people tell me they haven’t taken enough anxiety meds to handle a slightly difficult day. I have to remind myself that one year ago I should have had a few doses of anxiety meds to handle getting out of bed before three in the afternoon. I have absolutely no room to judge anyone.
There were times when I thought “I’m not this bad” like when Jess is going to give a speech she stresses about for a month before it. But it was a speech for 900 people so I can only imagine the freak out and hyperventilating I would do in that situation. And when I started to feel too smug about how I would handle a speech well I remembered that I basically gave myself an ulcer from stressing myself out over teaching classes. Sooo yeah, take that self-righteous Kenzie.
However, I would still like to issue a small challenge. If you’re struggling, try one thing that makes you shudder. It doesn’t have to be “big” by anyone’s standards but yours.
“Nobody waves but everybody waves back.”
I’m very much the dive into cold water type of person so when I couldn’t handle a basic conversation with anyone I threw myself into one of the most populated foreign countries and forced myself to teach groups of teenagers for three hours per class. This is soo not what everyone should do. Small steps are very good.
I thought it was interesting that being an introvert stayed with Pan while traveling. I get that you don’t change just because your location does so it makes sense, but I’m judging it based on my experience. In my case I moved to China and I made a commitment to making friends and meeting new people. Basically while I was in China I pulled a “Jessica Pan” and tried to extrovert. It was easier because when I just couldn’t do it I could hide behind my husband. I also met another introvert who was the best and became known as a “goth on the inside.” Note: my husband is goth on the outside and that is how the subject came up for comparison.
This was such a rewarding read not only for the times when it felt like a reflection, but also for the times when it made me feel triumphant for the things I’m now able to do that I couldn’t do before.
I had one judgmental moment about her husband. **sort of spoiler** Her dad might die and her husband doesn’t even come with her? That was weird for me, but hey every relationship is different. **end of spoiler**
I would recommend this book for anyone who is an introvert or who loves an introvert. This book is especially great if you want to challenge yourself to be a little more gregarious.


Update May 10th
I found a work around by using another computer so now I will be able to read this and provide better feedback. YAY!!!

Original feedback:
I really want to be able to read this book, but I couldn't get it to open on my computer. I'll keep trying, but for now I just have to say I would have loved to read this. I know I would have related to this book as an introvert that recently went to China and felt the need to be an extrovert for the five months I was there and I haven't changed back into an introvert, at least not as much of one as I was.

As I read about your experiences, I nodded my head at your fears and worries. But I also cheered you on. Some of the things you jumped out and did – improve, live comedy, traveling alone to a strange city – made me initially recoil. But you did them and then told us readers about what happened. Then bared your soul to write it all in the book. Thank you for sharing from other mentors the information that most people do want to wave back and to enter a conversation. They just usually need someone else to get the ball rolling. I am enthused by your statement that “things that seem impossible can suddenly become possible.”

So yes, I lived vicariously through some of your year and would probably not have the courage for some things but I admire the heck out of you because you went for it and didn’t back down. Your book will help me try to ask Deep Talk questions, to creep a little bit outside my shell, to take a few more risks though honestly I’d rather try and climb Everest than do stand up comedy. B

4 stars! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Just while reading the introduction of this book, I could already relate to it SO MUCH! It was super interesting to read her journey throughout the year. It was a fun, light hearted read with lots of funny parts!

If you’re also an introvert, I highly recommend checking this one out! It’s out in stores TODAY May 28, 2019!

Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for providing a free advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I loved Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come. As an introvert, Jessica Pan is so relatable. I do try to say yes to think I don't want to do, but I can't imagine doing it on this scale. It was fun and mortifying to read her experiences in extroverting. I got stressed out, my palms got clammy, and I inevitably cheered for her when she overcame extreme reticence and did extroverted things. My favorite essay was her Moth podcast experience. I can't imagine telling a personal story in front of so many strangers.

If you're an introvert, ambivert, or just an extrovert who is curious about the inner thoughts of introverts, definitely check this one out.

As an introvert, this book was painful for me to read at times. I so appreciated Jessica Pan's quest to live her life as an extrovert for one year. She writes conversationally and her ability to laugh at herself and situations made the experience enlightening. I admire her willingness to share her journey. I would liken it to Shonda Rhimes' The Year of Yes, both in tone and in humor.
I received my copy through NetGalley under no obligation.

This was an alright book. Ultimately it didn't do that much for me, which is a shame, considering the concept and the fact that I, too, am an introvert-- I felt like most of the stories were too mundane to really have been worth recording. There were gems here and there, but as a whole the book felt like the author sold the book on a pitch, then when it came time to write the book there wasn't nearly as much there as she thought there would be. Her writing is strong, though, so I think she'll have more promising work in the future.