DNF at 54%. *sigh* between the lack of knowledge about bisexuality and the unlikeable main characters I really can’t bring myself to finish this

When I saw the queer cover of this book and read that there will be a road trip along the way I just knew I had to give this one a go.

This beautiful coming of age story follows the two gay teenage cousins Mark and Talia who meet again after a long time through sad circumstances. Their grandfather died unexpectedly. The families come together again for his funeral. Their parents aren’t on good speaking terms and the teens have a lot on their minds as well. This book is very much about family, friendship and first love. The teens and Mark’s kid sister Paige end up going on a sneaky road trip to Toronto Pride where lots of things happen and change. I didn’t really like either of the cousin’s personalities in the beginning to be honest but they kind of grow up a bit more along the way. And I feel like that was part of the story. How they grew to be better people and be more considerate about others and how other people may have influenced them as well.

I love how queer this book is and the massive LGBTQ+ content.

If you’re looking for a light, easy queer read about teens trying to find their place in the world and within their families, this will be it.

When I first started looking up 2020 book releases, this book was one of the first ones I saw, and I immediately gravitated toward it. A YA contemporary in which two queer teens set off on an epic summer road trip bound toward Pride? This sounded exactly like the kind of queer novel I’ve always wanted to exist, plus an indie movie that I would instantly watch. So I was immensely thrilled when I got the opportunity to read an early copy of what then became one of my most anticipated reads for 2020. Unfortunately, in the end—and it actually pains me to say this—I felt very let down by this novel.

First off: Positive Things!
I loved that this book was essentially a love letter to LGBTQ+ history and why we have Pride today. I absolutely loved Shirley and Babs as characters and what they represented. The older generation who were a part of history when queer folks were not as accepted and needed riots and underground bars in order to carve out a space in the world and make their voices heard. This is a part of history that they feel should never be erased, that the new generation of queer folk should know about. At the same time, they also recognize that the community is constantly changing, and with that so is the language. Shirley and Babs very much represent bridging the gap between the old and young generations of the LGBTQ+ community, as well as reminder that no matter how you identify, the LGBTQ+ community should always feel like family, like a place where you can feel safe and accepted.

My Critiques

I guess my biggest critique in regard to this novel is that I felt I was sold a very different story from the one I actually got. From the synopsis, we’re led to believe this novel centers around a summer road trip to Pride—you need look no further than the cover to see that even it invokes this kind of story. In actuality though, most of the novel takes place at the summer cabin belonging to Mark and Talia’s grandmother, with the first chunk of the story basically consisting of Mark and Talia puttering around the cabin, and Talia constantly getting after Mark for being irresponsible and blowing off his chores. They spend a lot of time at the lake before the roadtrip even enters the story, and when it does it feels like it’s over in a matter of pages. I feel like the roadtrip element of the story was so oversold for this book, and for what we were actually given I couldn’t help but think, Wait, was that… was that the road trip?? Seriously misleading synopsis, seeeerious letdown.

Another issue that kept me from enjoying this book was the fact that...there wasn’t really any one character who I genuinely liked. Neither protagonists, Mark and Talia, are super likable, and I couldn’t quite bring myself to care about either of them as the story went on.

Mark, for one, is a pretty selfish, irresponsible character through the entire novel. He cares so much about going to Pride for his own reasons, completely neglecting everyone else and their needs in the process—including his kid sister. I’m not even kidding when I tell you the amount of danger he puts his little sister in, all because he cares more about going to Pride. After their car breaks down, they hitch a ride from a complete stranger, drive into a big city they don’t know, where they proceed to hang out at another stranger’s house filled with people. Then when Mark’s mom pulls up in her car to pick them up, Mark literally tells his sister he owes her one, then runs away in the opposite direction and leaves her standing by herself on the doorstep. Needless to say, Mark is pretty immature. And not the best big brother, either...

Talia, on the other hand, particularly rubbed me the wrong way. She’s a typical social justice bully. And by that, I mean she carries herself as the “perfect” social justice advocate who feels the need to educate everyone at any chance she gets, not necessarily out of good intentions but just so that she can feel superior to them, because they’re just not on her level. She almost seeks out any opportunity to call anyone out for even the tiniest things, regardless of whether she’s on their side or not:


“Paige,” says Talia, “remember what I said about outing people?”

“Yes,” Paige says, “and I’ve thought about it. I don’t like that rule. It’s totally fine that Mark is gay, and if it bugs anyone, that’s their problem.”

“Yes,” says Talia, “but that’s not really the point. I think—”

I cut her off. I don’t have the energy for one of her political debates. “It’s fine, Talia. I don’t care if she outs me.”

“You’re pretty privileged to feel that way,” she says.

This moment especially irritated me. So for one, you’re overstepping boundaries and telling other peoples’ children how to behave (and toward their own sibling) when that’s not your role or your place to do that. And two, the fact that in one instance you’re allegedly standing up for Mark and fighting his battle for him—which I feel like is almost just as bad as outing a queer person..?—and then the second that he calls you out and says, “No, it’s okay, I’m totally cool with it,” you instantly whirl around and start a separate argument with him. So let me get this straight, you don’t want anyone to out Mark because that’s problematic. But then, Mark isn’t allowed to have any say in being okay with it anyway, because he’s… too privileged? Sounds more like Talia herself needs to learn boundaries, to step down, and to not shout over other queer people to satisfy her own self-righteous, social justice complex.

And the hilarious thing about this is: Talia isn’t perfect, either. There are countless times in the novel where she herself even admits that she still has a lot to learn, she still makes a lot of assumptions and oversteps. There’s even a point in the novel where she expresses her frustration over having to live in a society that creates a gender binary system where everyone’s put into boxes and no one understands what it’s like to live as nonbinary (like her partner) and have everyone assume your gender for you. Yet… she does this exact thing. When she first meets up with Erin and their friends, she instantly refers to several of them as “she” and “her” and “girl” without even thinking whether they identify that way.

Essentially, Talia expects and demands perfection from everyone else, yet she herself doesn't even match up to her own expectations. She’s willing to give herself the benefit of the doubt for not always knowing everything, yet she doesn’t give anyone else permission to have these learning experiences themselves. What I see in Talia’s character is also what I see in a lot of internet discourse and what truly irks me about “callout” culture and aggressive social justice policing in online spaces. People who use their own knowledge as a weapon rather than as a tool to initiate communication, empathy, and understanding.

Final Thoughts: I went in fully wanting to love this book for what it is: a celebration of queer youth, of Pride, of embracing who you are. And in many ways, this was that. At the same time though, there was a lot that I wanted this book to be but found it lacking, and by the end I was just very underwhelmed. Again, I really wish that the story had centered more around a road trip and to have it be more than...like, five pages. Even the “family drama” that was also part of the plot was pretty underwhelming, and for how much it was built up over the course of the novel, by the time we reach the big reveal—the looming question of why Mark and Talia’s parents haven’t spoken in years—I just thought, Wait, that’s… that’s it? That’s the whole thing?”

Ultimately, I just wanted so much more from this book than I was given.

when you get the chance is pretty much exactly what it says on the tin. i found it somewhat slow at the beginning, but about halfway through it picks up enough that i basically finished the rest in one sitting. paige really pushed the story along, more than mark or talia- i would have loved some of her narration, because she has a ton of spunk.
this book tries to do a lot- arguably, too much- which is a large reason for the dragging beginning; there is a lot of discussion about non-binary genders, bi- vs. pansexuality, white male privilege in lgbt+ spaces... don’t get me wrong, it’s important! i was thrilled to see it! but it kind of broke the flow of the story, which was entertaining and could have shown these issues instead of flat-out telling us about them. once these issues were established and became more of the background than the focus, the pacing and narration felt a lot smoother and more natural, while still feeling present to the reader.

A very wholesome book about queer teenagers. The story follows Mark and Talia and their grand adventure to Pride. Mark wants to know more about the world and have fun. Talia wants to reconnect with her ex. But life has other plans and not everything goes to plan. It’s a cute story, but there’s nothing really remarkable about the book. I think this is a book for lazy Sundays, It's a light story, with a nice rhythm and interesting characters.

I was drawn to this book by its cover, and it did not disappoint. WHEN YOU GET THE CHANCE is a celebration of the queer experience, but is an equally accessible tale of friendship and forgiveness for those who do not identify as queer. I enjoyed reading Ryan and Stevenson's work and look forward to more inclusive and representative tales in the future.

This book was exactly what I expected: a fast, fun, queer read. What I didn't expect was that it's also Canadian (I imagine there is a hint on the cover... and in the description) which made it all the better because Canadian books are always more relatable than American. (That's why we insist that Canada is a honorary European country)

It's told from two POVs: Mark, a gay high school senior from Halifax (and honestly a bit of a self-absorbed jerk) and his cousin Talia, a queer girl from Victoria (and a bit of a social justice warrior which I absolutely loved). I love that with more and more queer books the characters also get less perfect, more human and more relatable. The two of them meet for the first time in years on their grandpa's funeral and are sent to clean out a cottage that belonged to their grandparents - even though both of them would rather be in Toronto, Mark for the Pride weekend and Talia to meet up with her partner.

The unexpected and amazing surprise came in form of Paige - Mark's 10 year old sister. I don't remember ever reading a queer book where the queer character had a much younger sibling and definitely not one like Paige - she was unapologetic and had an amazing ability so see people simply as people, despite their gender or sexuality. She had some of the best lines, one of them when she was reminded for an nth time not to out people to others and she said that she doesn't want to waste her time on people who think less of others because they are queer. Paige's character was used to discuss a lot of important things such as queerphobia, the problem of putting things (and especially gender) in binary terms in a fun way and I really liked it.

I loved how this book reflected the current times: how the queer rights have progressed but not without backlashes. The uncertainty of the far right political movements and climate change and how it affects people. Discussions of privilege. It was subtle but on point and well done.

What I also appreciate is how truly queer this book is - not only gay or bi but engaging with different queer identities and issues. Talia is unsure of her sexuality and chooses to identify simply as "queer" and her partner is non-binary. There are discussions of poli relationships and the bi/pan debate. It discusses outing people and assuming sexuality (straight or queer). Also, especially Talia is very aware of how much their experience comes down to the fact that they are white and able-bodied (and, in Mark's case, also male) and the questions of privilege and gate-keeping came out quite a lot. There is a whole cast of amazing queer characters with different experiences, identities and approaches and it truly felt like a Pride.

Despite it all, it still managed to be a fun, light read, with a focus mostly on family, identity, old grudges and knowing when to move on. Plus a whole lot of Canadian summer vibes: lake, mosquitos, canoeing, ice cream and barbequeues.

My only problems are that the beginning of the book dragged a little and Mark's POV got a little of getting used to (because of him being such a self-absorbed jerk) but things definitely picked up as I read on so it's a strong 4 stars instead of 3.

The verdict is that I'm moving to Canada becuase I've been convinced that almost everyone there is queer and that it's generally the most amazing place ever.