Cover Image: The Secret Lives of Church Ladies

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies

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This was a genuinely heartfelt look into the lives of these women. It was a learning opportunity as much as it was a fictional experience. Heartfelt. I will recommend this to anyone .

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This is a well-crafted, engaging set of short stories about Black women of all generations whose common bond is that they (or their family) are connected to the Church of the south in some way. The stories are varied in subject, although many touch upon same-sex female relationships, adultery (often involving a male church pastor and his “temptress”, a single Black mother), and the fraught dynamics between mothers and daughters. Most enjoyable were Dear Sister, Jael, and Peach Cobbler (for the latter, I question whether the narrator made another surprise but unnamed appearance in one of the final stories - Instructions for Married Christian Husbands).

I think this book will resonate deeply with Black women who have lived in or around a similar southern, multi-generational culture. I can’t speak to whether these communities also contain God-fearing folks/local leaders by day, only to lose restraint and indulge their primal desires when out of sight. But ultimately, some of the subject matter was too raw, too crude, too sexual for me to enter into any form of a comfort zone.. I read the stories with distance, but can appreciate the author’s talent for compiling a rich tapestry of many Black womens’ experiences.

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Wow!

While this book was excellent and a pleasure to read, I 'clutched my pearls' quite a few times.

Looking forward to reading more by Deesha!

Highly recommended to readers who enjoy African-American fiction centered around Christian drama and want to see that Christians are simply sinners who are saved.

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I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into when I picked this book and got approved to read it. But since I grew up in the black church, I thought I knew what was in store. boy was i wrong. This book was truly outstanding, and I was shocked many times. Through these stories, some church ladies might one day eventually be able to live in their truth. This book was just Remarkable, and I think this author just found a new fan.

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This is exactly what it promised to be. 9 gripping stories about women their relationships, sexuality and relationship with god. The voices are so well written and I flew through this book. It hits you where you least expect it and The Secret Lives of Church Ladies will linger in the back of your mind. Deesha Philyaw is a talented writer and I can't wait to read more from her!

Thanks Netgalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

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Wow! What a collection, I know don't even know where to begin to explain how amazing each of the stories in this collection are. I have never walked away from a short story collection loving every story. Deesha Philyaw is truly a phenomenal story teller that should be missed. thank you, West Virginia University Press for this gifted copy via netgalley. I highly encourage everyone to check this book out.

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This was a lovely collection of short stories. I liked how all of them were vastly different from one another, which is a rarity with short stories written by the same author. Some of the stories did not fully connect with me, but others were amazing.

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This is my first review of an ARC on Net galley and my first time reading this author.

I read this book in one sitting it was definitely a page turner, All the characters were relatable and the struggle with respect to relationships, family, sexuality and religion were so vividly expressed in every single story.
What stood out for me with these short stories is the role that Christianity plays in the lives of these women especially in their decision making.

My favorite story was Peach Cobbler I think that story alone could have been an entire novel. it was so well thought out. I also liked Eula and How to Make Love to a Physicist,
I hope this is the first of many things to come from this author.

I highly recommend this book

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Powerful voices can be heard in short stories when presented by a skilled author. Deesha Philyaw has written a book about nine church-going women tell their stories. My favorite is “Peach Cobbler” which is told by a teenaged girl who is trying to come to terms with her mother’s long affair with the church pastor. When the reader is done, they will have found stories about strong-willed Black women who have secrets to tell. I would love to hear this story in audio version with each story being told by a different voice. I think hearing the voices of the different women would enhance the message each story tells.

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First of all, I do not like short stories. Second of all, this book changed my mind.

Enter The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw.

The quick rundown: This collection of short stories is about the lives of black women, their desires, and the church. What these women want to do, be, and have is in contrast of the teachings and expectations of the church. Of course, this causes discord within and with loved ones.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Plain and simple. The writing is easy to read and follow. The flow is steady. The stories are real and are relatable (to me it is!). They are also hearty and full of sex. Yes, sex. If you’ve grown up in the church, you know how sex is viewed, especially if you are not married. That’s all I’m going to say about that! I cannot tell you which one is my favorite, as I truly enjoyed them all. But I do really, really like Peach Cobbler, Dear Sister, How to Make Love to a Physicist, and When Eddie Levert Comes. See, I damn near named them all!

In short, read it. I’m glad I did.

I was given an ARC from NetGalley and the publisher to read and review.

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Women and the Church. The Secret Lives of Church Ladies will give you every piece of what some may love about the Church and what some will heavily dislike about it. Deesha Philyaw covers many conversations that go on in the Black community and the Church is at its center. Poverty, abuse, colorism and infidelity.Every story packs a gut punch and some are more powerful than others but they all hit a spot...a nerve...a memory. Whoa.

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When you have a title like “The Secret Lives of Church Ladies” the expectation is that the contents of said book will go either the way of The Dirty Girls Social Club or Waiting to Exhale but never in my wildest dreams would I have expected the spiritual successor to Gloria Naylor’s, The Women of the Brewster Place.

With Secret Lives, you have a narrative that packs a lot of punch into 177 pages with the most scandalous being “Instructions for Married Christian Husbands” and the most tragic being “Peach Cobbler.” And when I say that this is a spiritual successor, I mean that in the sense that you have a collection of short, well written and captivating tales that show just a glimpse into the lives of a handful of women that starts of somewhat positive but all ends bittersweet.

This is the type of novel I like to revisit because the format serves it’s function, given that we’re only with these women for eleven, maybe twelve pages the little information we do get about what they’re going through leaves so much to the imagination that you end up caring more. You rarely know where the story actually starts or how it’s going to end, just that in this moment of time this is what she’s going through.

I highly recommend giving it a read. ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ out of five.

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I chose this book initially because of the title. The Secret Lives of Church Ladies sounds very intriguing! I am a daughter of a deacon and children’s church leader, and I felt super connected to the title from the jump.

I tend to stay away from short stories because I am always left wanting more, but Philyaw does a great job in writing these vignettes that I felt satisfied after every story. This book made me feel like a kid listening to adults when I know I shouldn’t be! Every story gave you an insight into something taboo, especially considering these women were connected with the church somehow. You got the tea, the shade, and everything in between in this book!

The book highlights the fact that although you may be “in the church” the real world still affects you and makes you consider things that are “not of God” for the sake of joy, happiness, love, relationships, and self-discovery. This book also seemed to make a mockery of legalistic religion in a sense, and how having only Jesus may not be enough for some people. People are praying to God for a blessing, but they are still living reckless!

The black girls and women in this story are searching for something… trying to fill a void “that only Jesus can fill” but somehow still cannot be filled by Jesus alone. It really makes you think about your religious ideals and what you accept or don’t accept by church standards. Seeking individuality, love, reassurance, sex, passion, companionship, is something all women look for, but as a church lady, it seems so scandalous to want that when you should be saving yourself for the Lord’s blessing. There is a double standard that is being explained here, but in such a way that the topics are not in your face or confrontational. They are subtly wrapped and presented in such rich prose that you are filled with emotion when you read this book hoping for better, wishing for more, and weeping tears of sadness for the loss felt in these lives of women.

I think about the church ladies I’ve known in my life. Nobody is a saint, and Jesus is good, but he also gave you hormones that overwhelm your system that makes you do things you might not ordinarily do. We all have secrets, and church ladies aren’t any different. At the end of the day we are all human and we all have wants, needs and desires, and we should stop hiding behind the hypocrisy and contradictions that religion allows us to because we all have a cross to bear, as we are all sinners. This book is good! Solid 4.

Thank you to West Virginia University Press and Deesha Philyaw for providing me with this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

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Let me introduce you to your new favorite author - Deesha Philyaw. Deesha isn't a new author, she's been writing for a minute, but what she does in The Secret Lives is something special. She flips the script and portrays "good church girls" as the real women and girls they are, not some perfect beings who worship at the altar 24/7 and never let their slip show.

The Secret Lives is not non-fiction, and I feel like that needs to be emphasized before it's tosssed aside as such. This is a collection of nine short stories that explore a variety of experiences in the lives of women. From the great-grandmother who frets over whether it makes more sense to keep her 14 year old granddaughter home from church so she can't openly lust over the first lady of the church or if she should send her to Sunday School in hopes that she'll have the sin knocked out of her to the daughter of a dying woman who seeks relief with a stranger in a parking lot; from a girl who lives her mother's shame as a preacher's mistress to a woman who has strict instructions for her married lovers — Philyaw brings the reality of these women's lives to our attention and shines a light on those subtle nuances that we tend to overlook.

Within these pages, you're sure to find a woman or girl whom you connect with, I know I did.

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A really good read. Thanks NetGalley for an ARC copy. My review is my own opinion.
I would recommend this book.

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This book was so gripping and immersive. I was thinking of the characters from several of the stories for days after reading each story. The author was able to capture the essence of each character but at the same time, delve deeper into their stories. The writing and phrasing was incredible. I look forward to reading more from this author.

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This anthology is a love letter to the Black women who grew up watching The Young & the Restless, Dynasty, & Falcon's Crest with their mother's and grandmothers. The Black women who spent many days in the kitchen learning how to fry up some chicken and frost the perfect cake.

Some highlights for me included Snowfall where a woman reminisces about her life down South in the warmth where Sunday services and crab boils prevailed compared to her life now where snowfalls heavy and she wakes up extra early to shovel snow. The life where her lesbian lover seems to be drifting away from her. Where she finds herself yearning to reach out to her mother who has disowned her due to her lifestyle not fitting her strong Christian values.

Peach Cobbler where a teen girl reflects on her mother's long going affair with the reverend of the local church. How her mother would bake him the best peach cobbler he ever had while never letting her have one bite. The neglect she felt as her mother put forth more effort into taking care of this man with his own family vs her daughter whom she couldn't bother to muster up affection for.

"Don't bring you're mess to my doorstep!", is the proclamation the lead in Instructions for Married Christian Husbands proclaims.

If you like the drama of Greenleaf, the family bonds, and reading people with Scripture this is right up your alley.
https://womenofcolorreadtoo.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-secret-lives-of-church-ladies-by.html

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plot: nine stories explore the lives of black women and girls, dealing with their relationship towards themselves and the church.

4/5🌟: honestly, i have a difficult relationship with short stories. i like them, if they're a bit longer, to be honest. on the other hand, i also get that stylistically speaking, it often makes sense to not give them a frame and to have an open ending. i also have a difficult relationship with the church. nevertheless, it was very interesting to read these short stories, to get to know these characters, even only for a little while. i was super happy that this collection included queer women as well. on top of that, there was a lot of criticism regarding the church, which i could relate to. at last, i think it's really important to read about black women's realities, which these stories try to portray. it's definitely worth a read, if you're into (very short) short stories!

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I think I’m in the minority but I didn’t really like this book or connect with it. I don’t read short stories so I decided to give this shot but it just didn’t work out for me. I didn’t connect with the stories and I was bored. Thanks for the opportunity to read and provide my honest feedback.

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I think my faith restored in modern fiction short stories with the nine short stories from the perspective of Black Women and Girls that center around the community and trying to live their lives. They have a thread that connects them to another story, but they are also stand-alone and read in any order, but I like the flow from starting to beginning to the end.

I would read one and then sit in the quiet compilation and then read one more. Repeat.

I think all the stories reminded me of moments in my own life that I could relate to and the continual struggle to have faith in everything.

I don't want to ruin it for you, you should read it.

I received an ARC from Netgalley and West Virginia University Press.

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