The Secret Lives of Church Ladies

Full disclosure, I read this advance digital copy through net galley.

I really didn't know what to expect with this collection but am glad to have read it. I don't normally read stories in vignette format but these were beautiful and intimate. Each story was brief but so deeply personal, it was like being in the minds of the women for a moment. This is a great read for someone who is looking for insight and kinship among women.

I didn't know what to expect, as the blurb doesn't give away much. But wow! I really loved each and every story in this anthology. I read it in one day! I haven't actually read 'literary fiction' for some time, but this really  struck a cord and memorable. The author has a very unique and frank way about her.

The reviews on Netgallery when I stumbled across this title, under the multicultural interest section made me wonder what I'd find inside the book. I don't normally read reviews at all. If I want to read, I will regardless of who said what, but I do sometimes just look at star ratings from reviews, many seemed low when I picked up this title. I can't understand it, as this is a gem of a book! I honestly think no matter your race  or gender anyone can really get into this literary fiction, even if the focus is on woman of colour and their experiences.

In all honesty, the blurb does not give away the true beauty of this author's work, I was pulled in by the blurb, cover etc, but after reading it I feel that this for me was one of those books that took me by surprise, in how good, raw, honest and frank, and engaging these stories are. There is no heavy 'religious focus' either, it's used in context of experiences of women who really wanna break free of all that, or have been chained to it for whatever reason.  And it makes very insightful and thought  provoking reading.

I would say, if you are overly sensitive then pass this up, and save  your one star review for 'bad language'. If you put the characters into context, time frame etc, you can totally understand the language the characters (not author) use, it makes sense.  In fact if you're a very sensitive reader full stop, it may not be for you.

There are  more than a handful of stories here, I lost count I was just turning pages really quickly. I don't have a favourite as I loved them all, but some really hit me and struck me as 'wow'. There's one about a young girl, and her mother is dating or 'seeing' a married pastor for a decade and what she went through. The ending and 'moral' of the story touched me when I reflected. The second one that was highly memorable for me, was the story about a young  girl who had a 'thing' for a lady at church, the ending was crazy! Lastly 'How to  Make Love to a  Physicist' was touch a beautiful, heart-warming story, showing a woman's growth and her ability to love herself, and fall in love, and run away and fall in love again!  I loved it. All about two people connecting at a distance, then falling together as maybe 'fate' and growing. I could go on,  I loved them all.

Overall, this is a great literary fiction piece of art here, I enjoyed every page and would even read it a second time, later down the line. I felt each story had some kind of moral to it. The characters were just fantastic! Lively, bold, and  at times had me in chuckling. I would read more from this author, and I would love a copy for my book case not just e-book. I wish her so much luck when this drops for publication in September 2020.  5 'wow good read' stars from me!

I would like to thank NetGalley, West Virginia University Press, and author Deesha Philyaw for providing me with an ARC of this novel!

I was so excited to see this available on NetGalley! A Pittsburgh author? YES! I have been hearing so much about this, and for good reason. The little synopsis provided doesn’t even begin to do this justice. This was a truly beautiful read, and I feel honored to have experienced it. This was raw and honest; and don’t let the title trip you up about religion. That was not the main focus of this novel at ALL, more so breaking free of the constraints of religion. Each story was beautifully crafted, and I can see myself re-reading this in the future. This will be groundbreaking once it hits the shelves.

Thank you to those named above for the chance to read and review this ARC!

I first saw this book when Kiese Laymon retweeted the author’s thank you for his blurb. I was intrigued by the title and gorgeous cover.

This short story collection is one of the best I have read. I finished the collection in 2 days. I would have read the entire collection in one sitting but I stopped to meditate on the 4th story.

The author writes the first sentence of each of the story to draw the reader in. Once you are in, the story unfolds over a few pages and the reader can identify with the setting and characters. The concluding sentences wrap the short stories up in a way that is satisfying to the reader but still could be fleshed out to a novella or novel. Lovers of short stories will enjoy this collection.

The stories are not bible study stories. They do have church and Christian elements. Many of the stories explore topics that are not often discussed in church settings.

I was given the opportunity to review an advanced copy of this book via NetGalley.

The stories in this collection explore the lives of black women and girls who yearn to express their individuality and remain true to themselves while trying to navigate the influence of their religious doctrine and community. ⁠While church and religion may provide structure and reassurance for some, they may also produce conflict and double standards for others.⁠
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I couldn't put this down and finished all nine stories in one day. Deesha's writing is precise and her prose is rich and filled with emotion. She does an effective job of capturing the nuances of Christianity and its community in the lives of black women and girls. These stories don't feel confrontational as they present these topics. They are simple presented to the reader as is for them to think about and reach their own decision. ⁠

I am not usually a fan of short stories. I prefer a long juicy novel (with sequels!) that I can sink my literary teeth into. But these stories about African American women were SO good, and so engaging; I'm glad I made an exception and dove in. Each story is filled with passion and the characters were amazingly well developed (there were usually only 2 or 3 which made it easy to just dive in to their story, and some of the stories revisited characters). Throughout the book we learn about the painful histories, the day-today difficulties, and the sexual longings and desires of these characters, along with their conflicts with their church community. I think my favorite story might be "How To Make Love To A Physicist," which tells the story of a female middle school art teacher who meets a male physicist at a conference, and proceeds very slowly to regain her trust in men, and to open herself to the idea of falling in love:

"And as your body begins to feel like a home, your courage grows. It grows bigger than your mother’s chastisement in the parking lot after service the first time you go to church unbound. She asks why you aren’t wearing a girdle, why you aren’t sucking in the way she taught you thirty years ago, and how dare you come into the house of the Lord that way. Your mother, who complains of women in the church nowadays committing the sin of visible pantylines, reminds you that she raised you better than this. And you say, 'I’m tired of holding my breath.' Then you promise you won’t come to church that way again. And you keep your word because you won’t go to church again at all."

This author has a gorgeous way of drawing the reader into the lives of these characters. I will recommend this book to everyone of every gender, race and age.

Thank you #netgallery for letting me review an advance copy of #TheSecretLivesofChurchLadies! Due out in September 2020. Estimated reading time on Kindle: 3 hrs, 17 minutes.

This phenomenal book of short stories will no doubt create a fuss when it is released to the general public. In each story, Philyaw jumps right into the heart of it all and yanks the reader in alongside her so that we feel so much of what is being felt by the characters. She deliciously describes women in all their glory and mess; the heartbreaks and triumphs; and both the internal and external conflicts with all the contexts they entail. Parts of it were relatable, but others seem specially designed for Black women, which only adds to the treasure that is this collection.

Rich, passionate, nuanced. entertaining... A stellar collection of short stories that will have readers thinking and rereading. I teared up while reading Peach Cobbler. Deeply moving, beautiful collection of stories. My only criticism is the cover art.

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies follows the lives of different black women as they reconcile their developing sexuality, identities, and independence with their strict religious upbringings. All these topics were done incredibly well and the short story format made this one a super quick read.
First off, the writing is gorgeous and compelling and it really draws you in. Philyaw's use of imagery made me feel like I was there with these women and experiencing these things along with them. I felt like I was part of the world that Philyaw had created.
Some of the stories are heartbreaking, some of them funny, some of them uplifting, but all of them are very compelling and worth the read. I know that these were just short stories, but all of them left me wanting to read more about these characters and know more about their rich and complex lives.
I look forward to reading more by Deesha Philyaw in the future.

Christianity, sex, and Blackness. Each story introduces the reader to black Christians, their dilemmas, sins, excitement, faith, and frustration. All of the stories have different plots and outcomes but the tie that bonds is God. Everyone can relate to the stories within this book. Be it from personal experience or word of mouth. You can glean lessons from each ofor the stories that will apply to your life.

You will wish some of the stories were longer and wonder to yourself, what ever happened to Jael or dear sister. I hope this isn't the last book by this author,

The Secret Lives of Church Women is excellently written. It did not have to be church women but that component is resonant. It’s resonant because it shows everyone has secret lives, secret loves, secret secrets that color their lives and the lives of those they are involved with.

Ms. Philyaw takes no prisoners with her characterizations, holding all equally accountable in their humanity. She lays bare the things whispered about. Even characters we might not usually see as sympathetic; we understand them if we are willing to admit it.

I felt like I did as a young girl sitting in the room with my mom, aunts and Godma and hearing them talk about the hypocrisy of church folk. I smiled in memory but as a woman I’m not fully sure it’s hypocrisy as much as it is trying to navigate life and maintain oneself in a world hard on women, black women, church women and the familial, church and love ties that bind us. Well done...

This collection, about women struggling between the dictates of society and spirituality, and the desires of their own hearts was difficult, delicious, heartbreaking and affirming. I recognized the women Deesha Philyaw depicted in these stories, and both knew and wanted to know them better. There wasn't a single inauthentic moment, though there was a sliver of an agenda or point of view about the hypocrisy that sometimes lies beneath religious observance and the ways moralizing can obscure deeper truths about who people are.

Apart from the women themselves, I also loved this author's voice--clear and concise in delivery, emotionally accessible and not overly lofty. I got to the end far too soon and found myself wishing and hoping that sometime soon this writer will deliver for us a full-length novel. Recommended.

I read this book the week that George Floyd was murdered in Minneapolis. With that as a background, these stories carried with them the burden of institutional racism that women of color experience every day in America. Even the most independent and self-reliant woman in these stories displays a tiredness and a loss. Philyaw has done an extraordinary job of sharing these women's stories in a sensitive, thoughtful and very respectful way. You will be thinking of Jael and Daughter and Eula and all the others for days after you finish reading.
Thank you to #NetGalley for an advance copy of this beautiful book, #TheSecretLivesofChurchLadies.

This book reminds me so much of a Gloria Naylor title, almost like The Women Of Brewster Place. Sympathetic Black women as main characters are so very rare. This voice is needed and so is this collection. Please continue publishing books like this. #ownvoices

This was a great book about African American women and their journey through the Christian faith. Really enjoyed the short stories . My favorite story was Sista. Some of the stories you wanted them to continue more, but that’s how it’s with really good short stories. A must read!!’

I'm always interested in novels concerning religion and Black women and this collection did a fantastic job. While religion is integrated into the narrative, it's not the sole focus. The novel really focuses on the Black women of each story and the different ways religion can either hinder or help expand past the limits of what is possible. Each story, while brief, is intimate and personal that at times, I felt as if I was intruding. But it still felt like I was being invited to this enclave where Black women are allowed to be free, loud, and act in any way they please. This should be on everyone's reading list.

I will never understand what it is like to be Black in America. Books like The Secret Lives of Church Ladies, however, allow me a deeper insight and empathy into the full lives, joy, and also injustice that Black women face. This compilation of short stories explores spirituality and sexuality. It's raw and compelling. I was left wanting more, which is exactly where I want to be at the end of a book. I can't wait to talk about this book.

Many thanks to NetGalley, the author, and the publisher for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts are my own.

I chose this book initially because I loved the cover (it's so great) and was also intrigued by the title. I have been wanting to read more broadly, to get fresh perspectives, and to pick up more books by authors of color (despite being a POC myself, my books tend largely toward white authors and I grew up in a predominantly white culture.) This book definitely gave me insight into the lives of Black women, and while I usually steer clear of short stories because I feel I am just getting into the characters when the narrative ends, I thought each of these were well-done vignettes that didn't leave me needing more.

There was more sorrow than joy in these stories and more loss of belief than faith. The melancholy, bitterness, rage, and sorrow is occasionally tempered by joy, self-discovery, and resolve in these stories, and I did finish it feeling like I had gotten a peek into the lives of Black women today. As a practicing Christian, these stories were heartbreaking to me. It felt like no one's faith made much of a difference in how they lived their lives, that instead the church had scarred instead of supported them. They were, rightfully, jaded by the hypocrisy. This rings true but is hard to read anyway.

Although very different, I think this would be a good comp with American Housewife by Helen Ellis.

These are wonderful stories. All a little bit different, but each featuring a church lady that is instantly recognizable to any black woman from the South. There's the woman who is saving herself for marriage, the family of women who only share a father, the woman sleeping with the a church leader. Philyaw asks readers to reflect on the truths and misconceptions around 'church ladies,' the differences between what they say and do, but doesn't make the assumption that these are bad women or good women. They're just women, just people trying to make it as best they can.

This is a fantastic collection of intertwined short stories about Black lesbian and bi life in America. I loved Philyaw's honesty, original voice, and ability to express complex emotions--desire, jealousy, the pain of rejection. Philyaw writes about the contradictions and hypocrisy present in Black communities and, in particular, in churches and among church-going people. This is a book that should be on every high-school reading list, that should be in every book club's library, and on recommended lists and prominently displayed and hand-sold in bookshops.

This is a collection of short stories primarily centred around black women. The title of the story piques your curiosity, you badly want to know the secrets of church women and you're hoping they're dirty secrets (winks).
This book definitely lives up to its title, I absolutely loved all the stories but I had a couple of favourites ('How To Make Love To A Physicist' and 'Instructions for Married Christian Husbands)

I had a myriad of emotions while reading this book, some stories were sad, others made me smile and some moments were filled with lots of laughter.
This collection is a satirical piece that discusses themes like religion, love, sex, family etc.

The stories are unexpected but they are very familiar, they are stories we've known all our lives and Deesha Philyaw does an amazing job telling them.

Everyone should read this!

The title of this book says exactly what is needed to know before reading it, and it was the first thing that made me know I had to read it. What a perfect title AND what a gorgeous cover.
I usually have problems rating books that contain multiple short stories because I often enjoy a lot some of the stories but I don't like a couple of them. This is not the case. I really enjoyed all of the stories that were told here. I have some favorites, of course, but all of them gave me this feeling that comes after a shockingly great experience, and I love that.
All of the characters felt so real that I sometimes had problems to remember these are fictional stories.
I can't wait for the world to get this beautiful collection.

The nine stories that make up The Secret Lives of Church Ladies feature women of every age and several sexual orientations, all trying to find a bit of happiness or peace. They look for it in peach cobbler, with men and with women, at church, through work and in their children and mothers and sisters. Author Deesha Philyaw introduces a string of finely detailed characters, each with a fully formed worldview. My favorite story was "How to Make Love to a Physicist," but there are no bad stories in the collection. Highly recommended!

The term "church ladies" conjures images of elderly ladies with hats and sturdy shoes, filing into church on a Sunday morning. None of those ladies appear in these stories! The ladies in these stories are adult women with unique issues, a variety of romantic situations, and modern outlooks. It's well-written, with realistic dialogue that illuminates each story. These stories tell tales of several lives, each compelling in its own way.

Wow, I am struggling to even come up with words to describe this book.

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies is a collection of short stories. It drops the reader into a snapshot of the lives of nine Black women. It’s raw, it’s real and it’s beautiful. It explores the depths of different individuals and the struggles each individual is going through. From a 14 year old girl who is in love with the Preacher’s wife…to a lonely woman trying to find comfort in another as she waits for her mother to pass from terminal cancer….to a woman who must first learn to love herself before she is able to love another.

I went into this galley with no expectations. I knew that it would be short but I didn’t think I would fly through it like I did. I didn’t just read this in a day….I inhaled this story, it was all consuming! These women are so real; I felt like I knew them. Their unique stories were personal, original and each entirely their own.

The stories in The Secret Lives of Church Ladies are unflinchingly honest. What do you do when your life doesn't fit into the box prescribed by your religious beliefs? What happens when your spiritual leader sins openly? Do you have to choose between being loved and being good? The stories are heartbreaking, funny, and (most of all) real. An engaging, thought-provoking book for anyone who is open to viewing organized religion through a critical lens.

A collection of nine short stories that are at times poignant, comedic, heartbreaking, and unflinchingly honest. The stories each have a unique voice and structure and are told through the voices of ten Black women of various ages. Some themes among the stories include God, religion, freedom, acceptance, and love: self-love, love among family, love between friends, sex, lovers.

It is thought provoking and explores Christianity, people's beliefs, and what happens when someone doesn't believe or acts in ways that are against those beliefs, but doesn't impose a right or a wrong onto what is happening. It gives the reader an intimate view of these women's lives, hopes, fears, and actions. I don't know what else to write other than I recommend that you read this book, whoever you are, and where ever you are in your life. You will find something in here.

I received an advance copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

What a great collection of stories! The characters are so real; flawed and wonderful, each looking to for some peace in their lives. The writing is sharp and nuanced, a pleasure to read. I also appreciate the undercurrent of community, church and otherwise, that permeates the collection as a whole. It really speaks to the long term influence of these environs and how their presence is revealed again and again throughout life. I can't wait to recommend this to my library patrons because the myriad of Black lives showcased here, matter.

What a treasure chest of stories this is! Bolstered by a common setting in a specific community, they wander about, focusing first here then there to sample significant events and relationships of old and young ladies and how they are framed by their relationship with their church. I am going to say this now because it's always bothered me: there is little in the way of formal religion as a background in the life of characters in literary novels about white people. Marilynne Robinson is a standout and has a new chapter of the Gilead series coming out soon. But the connection is often there and flavors the stew when the author is BIPOC (not a great term, but descriptive). Think of the wonderful Deacon King Kong. These church ladies are a pleasure to meet and will enrich the reader's inner life.

A very different read for me and one I really, really enjoyed.
A collection of short stories exploring the intimate lives of black African American women, the characters of which were very real. I have my favourites but all were without a doubt compelling and a delight to read.
Highly recommended!

This is a collection of intimate, unflinching stories about navigating relationships and identity. I don't read too many short story collections in full, so I may not be exactly the right person to review this, but I appreciated the breadth of voices represented here and the careful details included about their lives. If you are interested in vivid, reflective stories in inventive voices and formats that are focused on intimacy and family, particularly challenging familial or community expectations, you will likely enjoy this collection.

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies is a collection of short stories that centers around generations of black women who are flawed, trying to embrace their individuality as well as live outside the box of the religion & doctrines. Some are queer women afraid of what ifs, some are queer woman out already but still failed by family and society. Some are women uncomfortable in their skins and bodies. Some are people who don't give two fucks about the set rules and how life is "supposed" to be. Each of these women are navigating life slow and steady, wobbly on their feet, holding onto others for safety and assurance, some of them have only themselves too. Some have found solace in religion. Some are questioning it and everything they are been spoon-fed. They are all human! They are sassy! They are funny. They are quirky.

Every moment in this book felt authentic, real, raw. Experiences of these black women are the same thing other black women go though in the real world. Each story has weight. Each story hit deep for me, though some more than others. I especially loved the 4th story: How to Make Love to A Physicist. There was just something about that story. The way body positivity & acceptance, finding happiness & love was explored while talking about science and the concept of fate was amazing to me.

So many themes were explored; queerness, race, gender, religion, sexuality, identities and many more. This book is phenomenal. Take it from me. Add it to your ever growing TBR. It deserves to be there. Read it when it's out September 1st. When you do, I'm here to discuss it with you! Love it! love it! Five shiny stars!!

Wow, what an experience this was! So intimately told, I felt like I was peeping through the curtains of the women and girls in this collection rather than reading words on the page.

Deesha Philyaw’s characters are perfectly flawed, yet strong and fierce, despite their adversity. Navigating themes of friendship, mothers, daughters, loyalty, longing and sexuality, we see what is revealed when a woman unzips and steps out of the fabric of expectations and prejudices that she wears in the world. Religion is an underlying theme in all the stories and the struggles good Christian black women have balancing the love of their God and their desires.

The absence of fathers is also a reoccurring theme, and while the underlying foundation of many stories are tragic, Philyaw doesn’t want you feeling sorry for her characters. I laughed out loud a few times.

I loved this. So very much. Such a beautifully written book. Such an important book. One that you must read as soon as possible.

Thank you to the author, publisher and Netgalley for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for my honest review.

Deesha Philyaw examines the complexities of the relationships between women: mothers and daughters, grandmothers, friends, and the eyes of the community. Philyaw moves past any superficial performance of her “church ladies,” pulling back layers of pride to sit with moments of hurt, disappointment, questioning. In the story “Peach Cobbler,” a daughter watches a mother navigate her role as “the other woman,” of an adulterer, her famous dessert at the center of this dance, a symbol of the temporary nature of sweetness and desire. In the straightforward and sharp story, “Instructions for Married Christian Husbands,” the narrator talks directly to this kind of using man: “if guilt gets the beat of you, do not attempt to witness me or invite me to church. Don’t ask me to repent, because I regret nothing. You can’t save me because I’m not in peril.” Through and beyond different situations that challenge the women of these stories, Philyaw gives each of them a clear strength and persistence; never a hitch in their voices. These “secrets” show us Black women surviving and daring to tell the truth of what’s they’ve been asked to carry along the way.

I think my faith restored in modern fiction short stories with the nine short stories from the perspective of Black Women and Girls that center around the community and trying to live their lives. They have a thread that connects them to another story, but they are also stand-alone and read in any order, but I like the flow from starting to beginning to the end.

I would read one and then sit in the quiet compilation and then read one more. Repeat.

I think all the stories reminded me of moments in my own life that I could relate to and the continual struggle to have faith in everything.

I don't want to ruin it for you, you should read it.

I received an ARC from Netgalley and West Virginia University Press.

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies is a short story collection exploring themes of queerness, womanhood, and faith. It mostly follows women living "unconventional" lives who find ways to own their femininity, sexuality, and sense of self. It also challenges the Christian conventions that often put undue pressure on women to be "well behaved".

I'm of two minds about this short story collection. Although I was incredibly invested in some of the stories, I find myself already forgetting the details of them despite sitting down to write this review only a day after I finished reading the collection.

Ultimately, I think what makes this collection difficult for me to love is the frequent exploration of the subject of infidelity. The collection doesn't condone it exactly, but it's not a subject I enjoy reading multiple stories about. If only one or two of the stories had featured it, I might not have had such a hard time with the collection. Although I think I understand what the author was trying to do by tackling this subject, it just didn't quite work for me.

Nevertheless, I thought the writing in this collection was very good. Quite a few stories were told in creative and clever ways that had me raising an eyebrow, impressed and pleased. Philyaw is definitely an author I would consider reading again.

At the end of the day, this collection left me feeling like I needed to reread it to fully appreciate it. It left me feeling contemplative, and I think that's a very good thing.

plot: nine stories explore the lives of black women and girls, dealing with their relationship towards themselves and the church.

4/5🌟: honestly, i have a difficult relationship with short stories. i like them, if they're a bit longer, to be honest. on the other hand, i also get that stylistically speaking, it often makes sense to not give them a frame and to have an open ending. i also have a difficult relationship with the church. nevertheless, it was very interesting to read these short stories, to get to know these characters, even only for a little while. i was super happy that this collection included queer women as well. on top of that, there was a lot of criticism regarding the church, which i could relate to. at last, i think it's really important to read about black women's realities, which these stories try to portray. it's definitely worth a read, if you're into (very short) short stories!

This anthology is a love letter to the Black women who grew up watching The Young & the Restless, Dynasty, & Falcon's Crest with their mother's and grandmothers. The Black women who spent many days in the kitchen learning how to fry up some chicken and frost the perfect cake.

Some highlights for me included Snowfall where a woman reminisces about her life down South in the warmth where Sunday services and crab boils prevailed compared to her life now where snowfalls heavy and she wakes up extra early to shovel snow. The life where her lesbian lover seems to be drifting away from her. Where she finds herself yearning to reach out to her mother who has disowned her due to her lifestyle not fitting her strong Christian values.

Peach Cobbler where a teen girl reflects on her mother's long going affair with the reverend of the local church. How her mother would bake him the best peach cobbler he ever had while never letting her have one bite. The neglect she felt as her mother put forth more effort into taking care of this man with his own family vs her daughter whom she couldn't bother to muster up affection for.

"Don't bring you're mess to my doorstep!", is the proclamation the lead in Instructions for Married Christian Husbands proclaims.

If you like the drama of Greenleaf, the family bonds, and reading people with Scripture this is right up your alley.
https://womenofcolorreadtoo.blogspot.com/2020/08/the-secret-lives-of-church-ladies-by.html

This book was so gripping and immersive. I was thinking of the characters from several of the stories for days after reading each story. The author was able to capture the essence of each character but at the same time, delve deeper into their stories. The writing and phrasing was incredible. I look forward to reading more from this author.

A really good read. Thanks NetGalley for an ARC copy. My review is my own opinion.
I would recommend this book.

Let me introduce you to your new favorite author - Deesha Philyaw. Deesha isn't a new author, she's been writing for a minute, but what she does in The Secret Lives is something special. She flips the script and portrays "good church girls" as the real women and girls they are, not some perfect beings who worship at the altar 24/7 and never let their slip show.

The Secret Lives is not non-fiction, and I feel like that needs to be emphasized before it's tosssed aside as such. This is a collection of nine short stories that explore a variety of experiences in the lives of women. From the great-grandmother who frets over whether it makes more sense to keep her 14 year old granddaughter home from church so she can't openly lust over the first lady of the church or if she should send her to Sunday School in hopes that she'll have the sin knocked out of her to the daughter of a dying woman who seeks relief with a stranger in a parking lot; from a girl who lives her mother's shame as a preacher's mistress to a woman who has strict instructions for her married lovers — Philyaw brings the reality of these women's lives to our attention and shines a light on those subtle nuances that we tend to overlook.

Within these pages, you're sure to find a woman or girl whom you connect with, I know I did.

I chose this book initially because of the title. The Secret Lives of Church Ladies sounds very intriguing! I am a daughter of a deacon and children’s church leader, and I felt super connected to the title from the jump.

I tend to stay away from short stories because I am always left wanting more, but Philyaw does a great job in writing these vignettes that I felt satisfied after every story. This book made me feel like a kid listening to adults when I know I shouldn’t be! Every story gave you an insight into something taboo, especially considering these women were connected with the church somehow. You got the tea, the shade, and everything in between in this book!

The book highlights the fact that although you may be “in the church” the real world still affects you and makes you consider things that are “not of God” for the sake of joy, happiness, love, relationships, and self-discovery. This book also seemed to make a mockery of legalistic religion in a sense, and how having only Jesus may not be enough for some people. People are praying to God for a blessing, but they are still living reckless!

The black girls and women in this story are searching for something… trying to fill a void “that only Jesus can fill” but somehow still cannot be filled by Jesus alone. It really makes you think about your religious ideals and what you accept or don’t accept by church standards. Seeking individuality, love, reassurance, sex, passion, companionship, is something all women look for, but as a church lady, it seems so scandalous to want that when you should be saving yourself for the Lord’s blessing. There is a double standard that is being explained here, but in such a way that the topics are not in your face or confrontational. They are subtly wrapped and presented in such rich prose that you are filled with emotion when you read this book hoping for better, wishing for more, and weeping tears of sadness for the loss felt in these lives of women.

I think about the church ladies I’ve known in my life. Nobody is a saint, and Jesus is good, but he also gave you hormones that overwhelm your system that makes you do things you might not ordinarily do. We all have secrets, and church ladies aren’t any different. At the end of the day we are all human and we all have wants, needs and desires, and we should stop hiding behind the hypocrisy and contradictions that religion allows us to because we all have a cross to bear, as we are all sinners. This book is good! Solid 4.

Thank you to West Virginia University Press and Deesha Philyaw for providing me with this book in exchange for a fair and honest review.

When you have a title like “The Secret Lives of Church Ladies” the expectation is that the contents of said book will go either the way of The Dirty Girls Social Club or Waiting to Exhale but never in my wildest dreams would I have expected the spiritual successor to Gloria Naylor’s, The Women of the Brewster Place.

With Secret Lives, you have a narrative that packs a lot of punch into 177 pages with the most scandalous being “Instructions for Married Christian Husbands” and the most tragic being “Peach Cobbler.” And when I say that this is a spiritual successor, I mean that in the sense that you have a collection of short, well written and captivating tales that show just a glimpse into the lives of a handful of women that starts of somewhat positive but all ends bittersweet.

This is the type of novel I like to revisit because the format serves it’s function, given that we’re only with these women for eleven, maybe twelve pages the little information we do get about what they’re going through leaves so much to the imagination that you end up caring more. You rarely know where the story actually starts or how it’s going to end, just that in this moment of time this is what she’s going through.

I highly recommend giving it a read. ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ out of five.

Women and the Church. The Secret Lives of Church Ladies will give you every piece of what some may love about the Church and what some will heavily dislike about it. Deesha Philyaw covers many conversations that go on in the Black community and the Church is at its center. Poverty, abuse, colorism and infidelity.Every story packs a gut punch and some are more powerful than others but they all hit a spot...a nerve...a memory. Whoa.

First of all, I do not like short stories. Second of all, this book changed my mind.

Enter The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw.

The quick rundown: This collection of short stories is about the lives of black women, their desires, and the church. What these women want to do, be, and have is in contrast of the teachings and expectations of the church. Of course, this causes discord within and with loved ones.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Plain and simple. The writing is easy to read and follow. The flow is steady. The stories are real and are relatable (to me it is!). They are also hearty and full of sex. Yes, sex. If you’ve grown up in the church, you know how sex is viewed, especially if you are not married. That’s all I’m going to say about that! I cannot tell you which one is my favorite, as I truly enjoyed them all. But I do really, really like Peach Cobbler, Dear Sister, How to Make Love to a Physicist, and When Eddie Levert Comes. See, I damn near named them all!

In short, read it. I’m glad I did.

I was given an ARC from NetGalley and the publisher to read and review.

Powerful voices can be heard in short stories when presented by a skilled author. Deesha Philyaw has written a book about nine church-going women tell their stories. My favorite is “Peach Cobbler” which is told by a teenaged girl who is trying to come to terms with her mother’s long affair with the church pastor. When the reader is done, they will have found stories about strong-willed Black women who have secrets to tell. I would love to hear this story in audio version with each story being told by a different voice. I think hearing the voices of the different women would enhance the message each story tells.

This is my first review of an ARC on Net galley and my first time reading this author.

I read this book in one sitting it was definitely a page turner, All the characters were relatable and the struggle with respect to relationships, family, sexuality and religion were so vividly expressed in every single story.
What stood out for me with these short stories is the role that Christianity plays in the lives of these women especially in their decision making.

My favorite story was Peach Cobbler I think that story alone could have been an entire novel. it was so well thought out. I also liked Eula and How to Make Love to a Physicist,
I hope this is the first of many things to come from this author.

I highly recommend this book

Wow! What a collection, I know don't even know where to begin to explain how amazing each of the stories in this collection are. I have never walked away from a short story collection loving every story. Deesha Philyaw is truly a phenomenal story teller that should be missed. thank you, West Virginia University Press for this gifted copy via netgalley. I highly encourage everyone to check this book out.

This is exactly what it promised to be. 9 gripping stories about women their relationships, sexuality and relationship with god. The voices are so well written and I flew through this book. It hits you where you least expect it and The Secret Lives of Church Ladies will linger in the back of your mind. Deesha Philyaw is a talented writer and I can't wait to read more from her!

Thanks Netgalley for providing me with an eARC in exchange for an honest review.

I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into when I picked this book and got approved to read it. But since I grew up in the black church, I thought I knew what was in store. boy was i wrong. This book was truly outstanding, and I was shocked many times. Through these stories, some church ladies might one day eventually be able to live in their truth. This book was just Remarkable, and I think this author just found a new fan.

Wow!

While this book was excellent and a pleasure to read, I 'clutched my pearls' quite a few times.

Looking forward to reading more by Deesha!

Highly recommended to readers who enjoy African-American fiction centered around Christian drama and want to see that Christians are simply sinners who are saved.

This was a genuinely heartfelt look into the lives of these women. It was a learning opportunity as much as it was a fictional experience. Heartfelt. I will recommend this to anyone .

Thank you to West Virginia University Press and NetGalley for the Advanced Reader's Copy!

Now available!

I've never read a collection like Deesha Philyaw's "The Secret Lives of Church Ladies" before. It is a tight collection that explores the Black Southern Christian women's experience in their own words and their own light. By turns intimate, full of rage, sorrow, happiness and curiosity, Philyaw's characters are fully realized and engaging. Most of all, Philyaw's stories reveal the human side of church ladies, a group of women who are often stereotyped as ancillary, supportive characters. My favorite story was "Peach Cobbler." Definitely worth checking out if you have an hour or two!

I have read very few Black writers, I readily confess, so I wanted to push myself a little beyond my usual reads by choosing this book available on Netgalley. I'm so glad I did! I'm not American, I'm not Black and I'm not a Christian, and so it's a testament to the skills of Deesha Philyaw that I was able to have an insight into the lives and minds of these Christian Black women.

These stories show girls who are trying to be good (saintly maybe?), but who also yearns to be free and express their unique identities. Sadly, in many cases, the Church forbids them to do what they want and keep them stuck in shame, in secrets and lies. There's the girl who grows up watching the reverend comes to her mother's house and eat all the peach cobbler that she has made for him. She's never allowed to taste one bit, and in her eyes he is God, but as she grows up, she gets to understand how the reverend took advantage. There's this other woman who is ashamed of her body and her desire and who bit by bit, step by step, grows to be more daring (“How to Make Love to a Physicist”). There's this queer Black woman in the North of the US who misses the South and her mother's cooking, and we understand that her mother has disowned her when she came out.

Religion, family, sexuality are themes showing up in one way or another all along this collection. There's a lot of pent-up anger against the Church men and the constraints put on the lives and bodies of these Church ladies, but I still found the book full of grace and hope. The numerous daughters of their ne'er-do-well deceased father welcome a possible new sister into their fold. Most of the women in these stories find strength and resilience in a newly acquired freedom.

Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley. I received a free copy of this book for review consideration.

Nominated for the National Book Award for Fiction 2020
This collection contains nine short stories focusing on Southern Black women who attend or attended church, but defy conservative religious norms. The book shines because it manages to give its characters distinct voices that draw readers into their world immediately - it's easy to feel with the group of (half-) sisters who just buried their selfish father and now contact the one half sister they haven't met yet, with the girl who lives with a mother who has a long-term affair with the preacher, or the woman who struggles to overcome the alienation and shame she feels about her own body. These female protagonists feel so lively, so real, so three-dimensional, and the convincing way the author crafts facets of human interaction is really a spectacle to behold.

Food, sex, relationships with others - the women in the stories are looking for comfort and happiness while fighting various demons, and sometimes each other or even themselves. In most cases, short story collections have a certain number of meeehhh efforts or fillers, but not this one: Here, the one text that falls short, "Jael", doesn't work because it is over-ambitious and goes off the rails with its many shifts and tricks, thus at least failing in an interesting way.

So thanks, National Book Award, I wouldn't have picked the book up if it wasn't nominated, which means I would have missed out on a wonderful, intense, powerful collection.

From the very first story I felt sucker punched. Sucker punched by the depths of emotion on the page. It’s rare to see characters so well developed in a short story collection. This is especially true when the stories aren’t all connected.

Having grown up in the Baptist church of the South, I appreciated how the church and more specifically, the church ladies was spot on. The “church ladies” of the black church archetype was spot on. I found myself devouring this collection just to see how it would all play out in each story. A lot of the stories center on wanting, love, loss, belonging, and discovery. Even if the discovery isn’t always something that will lead to a happy ending. But, there were also stories were happiness was found in the end. And it was defined on the protagonist’s own terms.

Absolutely stunning collection and one of the top 5 books I’ve read in 2020 this far. Thank you netgalley and the publisher for the ARC!

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw was a great read. I featured it as Book of the Day on my social media platforms.

I enjoyed The Secret Lives of Church Ladies immensely, and there’s really nothing left for me to say other than BELIEVE THE HYPE!! Get this book! It will make you feel all the things and then some.

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies explores different generations of Black women and how their connections to the church and religion influence their inner and outer lives. Some of these stories are joyous and humorous, but also heartbreaking and bittersweet. I loved seeing how faith and religion were explored alongside the process of discovering one’s sexuality and experiencing the general unfairness of a world that can at times seem godless.

Deesha Philyaw is amazing at crafting her characters, and I’m already excited for her next work. It’s hard for me to play favorites, but I really loved Eula, Not Daniel, Peach Cobbler, Snowfall, How to Make Love to a Physicist, Instructions For Married Christian Husbands, and When Eddie Levert Comes. That’s pretty much the entire book, so my point is check this book out!

This was such a good selection of short stories. It took me a second to get into it and of course, some stories were better than others, but overall this was a solid read. I found myself outright disliking some characters and having to remind myself of the premise of the book. Many times, our hidden selves are not likable. There are parts of all of us that we want to keep out of the spotlight. The Secret Lives of Church Ladies explores those crevices unapologetically through a lens of Black womanhood, "sanctified" Black womanhood at that. I would highly recommend this book. Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I like it.

This was a stunning collection of short stories. This is an area many people either don’t know about or don’t care about and that’s the personal lives of women of color in the evangelical church. The author’s voice is so incredibly strong that I was hooked from the first page and devoured the rest of the book within just a few days. If you are in a bit of a reading slump I think short story collections are always a good place to dive in and this particular collection has the certain theme that strings the stories together. This author is absolutely one to watch and I can’t wait to read more from her.

I loved this book a lot. Philyaw writes from the soul and talks about the meaning of the African American community through multiple short stories - from the perspective of Church Ladies, Newly-Out Lesbians, and many other women of African American descent. The emotions and sense of community are so raw, it reminded me of my experiences with the Chinese diaspora. I'd highly recommend this book, and am thinking of rereading it!

This short book packs a powerful punch. The book is comprised of nine short stories intertwining the roles of church and self in black women.

Many stories feature characters grappling with their own sexual desires and how these conflict with the church.

When I put it that way, it sounds formulaic. It’s not. The stories eloquently illustrate the ties that bind the characters to extended family, church, and tradition. These ties offer comfort as well as constraints against each character’s sexual desires.

One particularly poignant story shared a same sex couple from the South braving an icy winter in their new home in the North. The characters craved their warm southern homes but their families did not accept their relationship. Anyone who has endured her first winter in a snowy spot knows the deep despair that can grasp you on an icy day. I loved the way the author ended this story.

This is a slim volume but the stories in it are filled with awesomeness. Exploring the impact of family and culture on repression and self-acceptance, the characters are all interesting, smart, damaged humans, coping with life and making their way through with humor, sadness, sex, infidelity, family, regret, hope, and peach cobbler. The stories are both accessible and profound, weighty and breezy, sexy and sad. Deservedly a finalist for the 2020 National Book Award for Fiction, this is one of the best books I've read this year.

Each story was breathtaking. They lingered with me long after I'd read them, and I had to sit with them before moving on the next. Philyaw is a master storyteller. Her characters will stay with you long after you've turned the page.

What a great selection of stories that speak to lives, struggles, and passions of church-going Black women. They are all well written and compulsively readable.

Thanks to NetGalley and West Virginia University Press for the ARC to read and review.

This short story collection glimpses into the private lives of Black women with ties to Southern churches and communities. From parenting to sex to yearning to fear, the stories focus on the tension between community expectations and personal desires. Philyaw's writing is so effortless and so powerful; she punched me in the gut at the most unexpected moments. The tension between strength and vulnerability is so expertly portrayed in her characters. This is everything I want from a short story collection.

Believe the hype. This National Book Prize finalist, a short story collection from a tiny university press, is as brilliant as everyone says it is. Touching on themes of race, sexuality, class, relationships, sex, family, daughters and mothers, to just name a few, Philyaw delivers a powerful collection, with each new story more engrossing than the last. Short story collections are often tricky for me. Either the collection has a couple of very good stories surrounded by ones less compelling, or the stories feel too similar, or radically different to fit well together. SECRET LIVES only offers gold, stories tied thematically in some respects, but each unique in tone and delivery. This one will be tough to beat for the prize.

Thanks @NetGalley for the advanced readers copy in exchange for an honest review.

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philylaw lives up to all of the praise it is receiving. These stories spill the tea on what is happening outside of Sunday services and they do not hold back. These stories almost had me taking the Lord's name in vain...

One of my favorite aspects of these stories is how they exist in a world, where blackness is assumed and central throughout the stories, yet the stories do not explicitly focus on racism or navigating white spaces as a black person. The stories do highlight colorism, but how colorism is rooted and viewed within the black community. These stories delve into the multitude of the different of identities of blackness and in particular the queer black identity. The black church has historically been the community center or the communal watering ground for black people. However, attending church is often so performative, and so The Secret Lives of Church Ladies takes us past first Sunday and the large hats to what is happening outside of church, into the lives of women when they are not in their Sunday best and when they are not performing the role of a Godly woman.

This collection is filled with so many gems, it is one of my favorite things that I have read all year. If this collection is not on radar, I recommend that you add it.

With thanks to the author, publisher and NetGalley for the opportunity to read this in return for an honest review.

This was possibly my most anticipated read this year and I felt so, so lucky that I was given the opportunity to access it. It totally lived up to my expectations and I feel it is short stories read of the year for me.

I felt such a bond to the stories, I couldn't explain why. The stories are mysterious, beguiling, loud, angry, sad, tragic, and in one special case, annoying. Yes, I didn't love everyone, how could I? I felt each story was interlinked, like family members. A bit like the gorgeous letter a sister writes on behalf of her siblings to a sister none of them knew, but they would like to, now their father has passed. I felt like the book was about all of those sisters.

Such a great read. I would keep this on my shelf and read it over and over. In fact, I think I'll buy a hard copy to keep around.

#TheSecretLivesofChurchLadies #NetGalley

I don't normally read anthologies, and didn't really know what to expect from this one; but reading the blurb about this book made me want to take a closer look. Boy am I glad I did! Each story made me want to go into the next. I could not put it down. I finished this book in one day!!! I absolutely LOVED it. Thank you Netgalley for making this book available to me. I will definitely take a closer look at this author Deesha Phityaw.

Wow! Deesha Philyaw does an excellent job introducing readers to a set of gorgeously diverse characters in interwoven "slice of life" stories revolving around the personal lives of black women of different ages and stages tethered together by their associations to the church. It's sensual, funny, heartbreaking and real. I'll never look at peach cobbler quite the same again. Highly recommend.

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies is a beautiful collection of nine short stories, all featuring Black women and their connection to a church. From sleeping with the preacher to caring for a difficult parent suffering from memory loss, Deesha Philyaw covers a lot of ground and reminds us there really is no drama like church drama. This book came on my radar when it was nominated for the National Book Award; I can see why it’s so well reviewed - I devoured it in a few hours.

All of the stories deal in some way with the conflict between a woman’s private wants and needs and the expectations set upon her by society, namely in the form of her family and her church family. It’s pretty amazing how Philyaw writes so many nuanced and detailed characters in under 200 pages. Much of the subject matter is heavy, especially the parts dealing with sexual identity and homophobia. Philyaw successfully balances her exploration of the darker implications of the church’s unfair expectations of women with a some hilarious dialogue. I could read a whole book about Tasheta from the Dear Sister story, in particular. What can I say, I love reading about women being themselves.

The final story in the collection, When Eddie Levert Comes, is the most moving depiction of memory loss I’ve read this side of Britt Bennett’s The Vanishing Half. Rooted in so many poignant details, that story in particular stands out to me as fine writing. Read this!

Excellent book that examines, through powerful storytelling, the lives of several women who happen to be black. Unlike other recent books where blackness is the main focus of the books, this collection of stories focuses more on the people themselves. This does not mean that racial injustice and inequity are not explored - they are. But these personal stories really shine for their character studies and personal challenges and not purely focused on racial inequities. I'm not saying that the stories don't address these racial issues - they do - but they are more crafted into the human conditions of being alive than pinpointing race. Crafted in a way that resembles Steinbeck's "simple" stories that really are not simple at all, I highly recommend this book. NOTE: I received a copy of this book through Netgalley(dot)com, but had heard about it and really wanted to read it.

Deesha Philyaw's collection of short stories is a delight. Focusing on the lives of Black women, often queer, often financially precarious, this collection illuminates lives that are seldom written about. While there are commonalities, the lives Philyaw is writing about are varied and the stories never felt repetitive.

In my favorite of the bunch, <i>Snowfall</i>, a woman has moved north with her partner, forging a new life together after her family rejected her. She misses her extended family and the South, never more so than when she and her partner shovel out the driveway early in the morning. In <i>How to Make Love to a Physicist</i>, an art teacher is wary of the interest of the science teacher she meets at a conference. And <i>Peach Cobbler</i>, about a girl growing up with a single mother who bakes for and carries on with the married minister every week, has a companion story later on.

The writing isn't the focus, and neither are the plots; what makes this collection noteworthy lays in how Philyaw establishes a sense of place and in the remarkable characters in her stories. This is a great beginning for a young writer and I'm eager to read what she writes next.

A lush, beautifully written collection about the inner lives of well, church ladies. I loved reading about these faithfully attending church women who had such much more depth than their pewmates might have suspected.

Excellent! I enjoyed this entire collection: the tone, sequence, descriptions. I'm so glad it was honored as an NBA finalist because it's so strong.

I read this book in a day! It was everything I wanted it to be and more. As a Black woman who grew up in the church, every story resonated with me. Philyaw was able to capture the nuances of the role religion plays in Black women's everyday lives.
There was not a story that was a "throwaway" every single one was just powerful and beautiful and necessary.
Through Philyaw's stunning yet simple prose, every "lady" felt like someone I may know personally.
Not only will I most likely re-read this book, but I will also most likely gift a copy to someone in the coming year.

Whatever Philyaw plans to write next, I cannot wait to devour!

Great read and one I will be recommending to many. It's an honest, and at times uncomfortable, read but one that I think many can relate to.

If anyone knows me, I’m not a big fan of short stories but this book RIGHT HERE “The Secret Lives of Church Ladies” might of just changed my mind. “The Secret Lives of Church Ladies” is a collection of short stories about women and their relationship to their church. There are nine stories in total. Sex plays a prominent role in the stories along with the conflicted view of sex and the church. The scenes are very juicy BTW. These stories can be relatable and very enjoyable. This book was definitely enjoyable and a great masterpiece.



The Good: Great Stories
The Bad: No bad
Is it worth reading: Absolutely
Recommendations: Everyone
Rating: 5/5

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw is a fascinating, eloquent, and affecting collection of short stories. The stories are largely about the daily life of black characters in the United States and expose their emotion, lived experience, and vulnerability. The stories are about relationships, romantic relationships and our often complicated family relationships. The stories are interconnected by small elements weaved in each story, whether it be peach cobbler or being a caretaker of an aging parent, etc. I listened to the audiobook, which was masterfully narrated by Janina Edwards, who somehow well-embodied the range of characters she represented. I was entranced by this collection and it is truly one of the best short story collections I have ever read.

Thank you NetGalley and the publisher for providing this ARC.

I absolutely loved this collection of short stories. At the intersection of desire and faith lies Deesha Philyaw’s incredible short story collection. Each story was riveting, compelling and brought something new and insightful to the collection. I can’t stop thinking about the incredible writing and poetry in the prose, as well as the ability to conjure images and feelings within the reader. This was absolutely excellent.

Whew Chile!

Every story had me glued to the pages from beginning to end. I personally may not have known someone like the characters in the book, but I can say that I have heard of people like them. Not my business. J Life behind closed doors is a telltale story that carries a lot of power.

I cannot wait to read more of Deesha’s work.

The Secret Lives of Church Ladies is a short story collection about Black women balancing the church’s expectations and their own interests.

Short stories aren’t always my jam but I really enjoyed this collection touching on family, sexuality, motherhood, and relationships. There are 9 stories and they all felt like the right length. Unlike many collections (which is often a factor in my hesitant interest in wanting to read them), there were no “bust” stories here — They were all at least good, many great! “How to Make Love to a Physicist” was my favorite.