As an adoptive mother to three Korean children, this book caught my eye. Whoa. I was not prepared for the emotional rollercoaster this book took my momma heart on. As I hurt for Rowan, I just kept picturing my three kiddo’s faces. I love a book that leaves me wanting to do better, and this book was one. I recommend this read for every adoptive parent!

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read and review this book .im sad to say this book wasn’t it at all for me as it was very hard for me to get into it

This book might be amazing to other people depending on the genre you like so you can definitely give it a try

I was gifted a copy of this book from @netgalley and @KaylieJonesBooks in exchange for an honest review. This book is due out on June 23, 2020 ⭐⭐ ⭐ This is a difficult one to review. Based on the summary, I would rate it low as the blurb did not sufficiently explain what this book is about. I went into this thinking it would be about adoption. It is so much more than that and you need to be prepared! This book took a huge turn in the middle and it's an emotional, shocking one if you're not prepared. This is a sad story and there were points that I hated almost every character in it. It's a short book that packs a punch! #inconvenientdaughter #netgalley #kayliejonesbooks

This just wasn't the book for me. I don't want to say anything negative about it because I think for someone else it could be a great book just not me. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to read it.

(Copy received from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.)

This book is the story of Rowan Kelly, a young woman who was born in Korea and then adopted as a baby by a white catholic family from Long Island. The description of moments of Rowan's life from her own point of view since she was four years old until she was thirty creates a book that is filled with family moments and daily events that somehow shaped Rowan, her identity, and her perception of her self-worth. It is an intimate, honest story that talks about family, emotional issued, identity, and self-worth. Overall, I would recommend this book because it talks about some difficult topics that need to be discussed and because it was pleasant to read.

What I liked: The author knows how to portrait a teenager properly. I think this story shows very clearly how a young woman's desire to fit in, feel accepted and special, and her need for approval and for a proof of her self-worth is usually projected to her love life. I consider it is extremely necessary to acknowledge that this a potentially harmful belief in many girls' minds, so I really valued that Sharkey chose this topic for her book. I found myself thinking many times about my teenage years and how I was desperate to find true love because I have abandonment issues as well, and I liked how this book made me reflect on that, but it was not triggering, which I appreciated very much.
Even when a couple of times I was annoyed at Rowan because I didn't understand why she made her biological mother, her adoption, and her Asian background a taboo, then I realized that it was actually one of the best parts of the novel because it depicts Rowan's need to find out who she was as an individual, beyond and above the most notorious categories that society recognized in her: being adopted and being Asian. I think her continuous and confusing quest for her identity is very well constructed in the story because it is formed by everyday, meaningful events that have big emotional consequences (as it is in real life).
I was also surprised because I thought this was going to be a predictable (yet interesting novel) about how hard it is to be a teenager, how it is harder if you are adopted, and how it is even harder if you belong to a minority group that you don't feel part of. However, when I had read 60% of the book I realized the story actually was about her emotional wounds and how she desperately tried to deal with them.

What I did not like: There are some characters and relationships that could have been developed some more, especially her mom, Marie. The reader gets that Rowan has a deeper understanding of why her mother behaved the way she did and how she loved her but didn't find the words to say it because Rowan explicitly says so, but it is never mentioned how she came to realize that. I didn't like that Marie ignored Rowan's complaints and questions, or laughed when she said she felt ignored, and it is okay, Marie doesn’t have to be a perfect character or a perfect mother (to my standards), but I really wish I could have understood why she behaved like that, especially after her child had been through so much. Actually, even when Rowan says that her mother wanted her to have the opportunities she never had o that Marie was trying to deal with her own pain, very little is said about her mother's background, so those sentences are pretty vague. Her relationship with Aidan was something that I wanted to know more about, as well.
Also, there were many episodes of her life that seemed irrelevant to the story because the introduction to a certain situation took several pages and the outcome was written in a couple of lines, for example, the visit of the Malaysian cousins or her relationship with Travis. I understand what those parts of the book wanted to say, but I think that the importance of those moments wasn't deeply explored (at least not enough to justify all the time that the author spent writing the beginning of those events in Rowan's life).

My main issue with this book was the way the plot was structured. It jumps back and forth from a singular moment in Rowen's adult life to other snapshots of her life through various ages. As a reader, I was very confused the first few times this occurred. It may be because the ebook I received was an ARC and the formatting just hasn't been finalized, but I wish the author had made a clear distinction between scenes. In addition to the issues with the book's structure, I also didn't care for the ending. I felt that the scenes we were given for Rowen at her oldest age (30) didn't give us any resolution about the issues she dealt with as a young adult. This was a quick read for me and held my attention, but because of the issues listed above, I cannot recommend this read. If you do decide to give it a try, please note that there are instances of domestic violence - I thought it was worth mentioning in this review, as that topic can be triggering for some readers.

Thank you to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for providing me a copy of Inconvenient Daughter, for exchange of an honest review!

Inconvenient Daughter tells the story of Rowan Kelly, a girl struggling with her identity as a transracial adoptee (Rowan is Korean, adopted by an American family) living in Long Island. The story takes you through Rowan’s life, while simultaneously following her account at a hospital after a traumatic encounter.

The story describes Rowan’s struggle trying in vain to establish a maternal bond with her adoptive mother, yet the demons of feeling like an outsider follows her every moment of her life. Rowan’s foray into relationships is a string of harrowing life lessons, causing her to believe that her life will forever be one of abandonment. The need to reach out to a loving, maternal figure is a constant theme in Inconvenient Daughter. The absence of a biological mother paints a picture of detachment in every encounter she has. The friction between Rowan and her adoptive mother is also constant.

Lauren J. Sharkey does not hold back in documenting Rowan’s emotional experiences in her young adult years. There are some parts that are uncomfortable to read, as Rowan experiences severe hardships once she’s in the outside world. Through all of the challenges she receives in life, Rowan manages to move forward and rebuild her purpose in life. Rowan’s journey in discovering and valuing herself is an immense, uphill battle.

I really enjoyed Inconvenient Daughter, as it’s a powerful account of a young woman’s search for identity and family bonds!

This is the story about a Korean girl adopted to white parents, her growing up in an environment that made her feel like she's not enough, and how she ends up in a very dark place. Rowan herself tells the story from her perspective, switching from various points in her life, starting with a hospital visit after a traumatic experience, and then following up on her whole life—her school years in an all-girl catholic school, her prom, her first college experiences and the fights with her adoptive mom—oh, the fights! From Rowan's perspective, it looks like her mom doesn't love her at all, but to the reader, it's clear that she obviously just wants the best for Rowan. Unaware of this, she grows up with the strong feeling of not being enough—not only for her adoptive mother, but also for her 'BioMom', as she calls her, since she gave her up as a baby. In her later school years, she begins to actively seek affection by others, and by that she gives herself up to the wrong kind of guys. When she's in college and meets Jason, I had a bad feeling coming, but it turned out I was way off—it did get even worse. I don't recommend this book for the faint of heart, since it will break your heart seeing little Rowan get into this whole mess. 'Inconvenient Daughter' takes you to very dark places of the human soul and you should definitely be prepared for this kind of read. I would have liked it more if Rowan had developed at least somehow—and if the ending wasn't so rushed.

Was really looking forward to reading "Inconvenient Daughter," but it didn't live up to my expectations. I thought it was contemptible and try-hard. At best, I would call it an early draft that has a good core but needs more work.

Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy!

Inconvenient Daughter touches on many topics (adoption, sex, loss of identity, loneliness), and does so very well. The book runs in a non-sequential order, with 23 year old Rowan reminiscing on past memories and that tell us how she got in that predicament. As the book progressed, I felt for Rowan, felt her pain and her loneliness. She seeks to know why she feels so alone, why her mother gave her up, all while not seeing the very real love her adoptive mother had for her. I remember being aggravated with Rowan, not understanding why she just didn't see what her mother was offering to her and how great her family was, but this made me love her even more. All I wanted to do was protect her and wrap her up in a big blanket. Overall, this book made me look at my mother in a different light and made me appreciate those rough-talkings she gave me that made me the woman I am today.

"I didn't realize all she wanted was for me to have power over my own destiny, and thought a college education would give me the tools to harness and wield that power. I didn't know her only desire was for me to have the best of things, and that she didn't have the words to tell me."

What an amazing read! Inconvenient Daughter portrays the mother-daughter relationship so vividly and accurately that it makes me want to apologize to my mother even now, decades past my teens. I also saw quite a bit of myself in Rowan’s actions, seeking validation where there is none to be found, taking needlessly dire risks in an effort to feel worthy even for a short time. This would be a great warning read for teens, and their parents. Highly recommend!

The story of a transracial adoptee of Korean descent searching for belonging in all the wrong places.

Rowan Kelly feels like an Inconvenient Daughter - if her birth mother really cared about her, why would she give her up for adoption? The novel unfolds her life as she quests to find love and acceptance, and begs the question of what it means to belong and where it is we find our sense of belonging.

From the get-go we are introduced to Rowan's constant feelings of alterity. Her mother is the first point of comparison with her brunette curls juxtaposed against Rowan's dark straight hair:
"All I wanted was proof we belonged together - something tangible, an undeniable link"
I loved how Sharkey uses this as a device for something bigger - something that people in families where everybody looks alike would take for granted. We are immediately transported into a world where everything around you is supposed to be comfortable but you feel like an alien.

Besides her home life, Rowan is surrounded by expectations that are pushed on her. The narrative gives unique insight into the pressures to conform to experiences that are ascribed to her:
"You are Asian to the people around you, but not to yourself"

At first, I found Rowan to be almost unbearable in her unrelenting search for acceptance. It was difficult to see her put so much strain on a mother that clearly loves her, but I grew to understand that these outbursts of mischief and madness are not about her mother or her family. Her actions stemmed from deep-rooted feelings of inadequacy and an inkling that she needed someone to "fix" her (enter stage left: a bunch of silly boys and men):
"I was convinced he could make everything okay... that he would make me okay."
I appreciated how this novel chose to tell us a story of adoption that wasn't centered around finding the birth parents; it was a refreshing take on the experience of being an adoptee. I found the ending to be hurried in its resolution and wish we could have spent a little bit more time seeing Rowan decide to turn away from her mistakes.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is wanting to read a coming of age story that is raw and real (and who said that coming of age ends somewhere in your teens?).

Inconvenient Daughter

This is truly a powerful story, although it could be triggering for some. Lauren Sharkey I admire your ability to captivate readers. As a narrator Rowan shared the raw truth. I felt the desire on many occasions to teleport myself in front of Rowan to shake her awake and tell her how worthy she is.

I was slightly disappointed in the abrupt ending. As a reader, I would have love to seen more of her character development and insight. How did her mom change? How did Rowan change? I felt left with some unanswered questions.

Overall Inconvenient Daughter is worth your time. It’s quick, captivating and may want to make you scream WHAT, NO at times. 3.5 stars overall.

Thanks to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

An Inconvenient Daughter broaches many topics: Race & identity, adoption, mother/daughter relationships, growing up, self-worth. At the cusp of this story is identity. What does it mean to be a Korean baby adopted by a well-meaning, white Irish family in Long Island? Who are you? This is the haunting question our protagonist Rowan Kelly struggles with throughout the book. Rowan craves to look like her parents--to show that she belongs to them. She dismisses her Korean identity and has no interest in discovering her Asian roots. The book flips back and forth, showing snippets of what life is like for Rowan, first as a pre-schooler all the way to a 30-year-old adult. Along the way, Rowan makes many mistakes, fights with her mom, and struggles with her own self-worth. Each chapter begins in the present where Rowan is at the ER and slowly reveals the details as to her visit, although even that is not obvious. At the core of this book is Rowan's relationship (or even lack thereof a relationship) with her mother. Despite her mother's promises of unconditional love, Rowan faces many moments of her mother "shooing" her away when she wants to talk or putting the children she babysits before her daughter's needs. When Rowan brings up questions about her birth mother, her mother brushes her off. When Rowan fights with her mom and tells her "She's not her real mom" her mom cries and leaves a room. As a reader, I hurt for Rowan. I hurt for her and for the bad decisions she made via remaining in an abusive relationship or flunking out of college. What frustrated me most, was there really was no resolution between Rowan and her mother. I kept waiting for an epiphany or climax, and it just wasn't there. Even the big reveal in the ER turned out to be a let-down in that it didn't really lead to anything other than a suspenseful element to the book, which it didn't need. It's Rowan and her own confusion about who she is that keeps the reader turning the page. This was an easy read, I blew through it in two days, but don't expect a lot of resolution. I wanted more depth with the relationship between Rowan and her mother, instead, I got a lot of door slamming and screaming. Her mother really didn't change throughout the book and Rowan, well, she's still a work in progress. When you don't see a character change in some way you have to wonder: What's the point? This book needed more character development, more plot, and more closure. It was so close, but just as Rowan is struggling with who she was, the reader is left just as confused.
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3333002201

Thank you to the author, Kaylie Jones Books and NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

I was interested to dive into the topic of transracial adoption through this story - but I found this to be more a cathartic recounting of adolescent rebellion than anything else. Yes, the protagonist, named Rowan after a recently deceased relative of her adoptive parents, is adopted, and thus grows up feeling unwanted (by her birth mother) and also feeling less favored by her adoptive mother as compared to her also adopted brother. I would think the internalized negative messages about self-worth and identity are fairly common among adoptees. Here, there is an extra layer on top, of being outwardly "different" from her adoptive parents - but that is never really explored. The story escalates as Rowan starts acting out, although it's never quite clear why this happens. I found Rowan's story lacking in depth, and instead it's a vivid account of some very bad choices and turbulent emotions.

The story is told in the first person, which works very well - but makes for harrowing reading in parts. I found the time jumps confusing, the timeline is all over the place. The ending seems very abrupt. The book works as a diary/memoir of a conflicted young person, but it definitely could use some editing to gain overall cohesion.

Man, this book broke my heart! An ‘Inconvenient Daughter’ is told in first person in a stream of consciousness style. The protagonist, Rowan Kelly, details important events in her life that have lead up to her being in a hospital following a traumatic encounter. She was adopted from Korea as a baby by white parents in Long Island, New York. The story follows her emotional struggles with being surrendered for adoption and increasing tension with her mother, whom she views as controlling. Rowan’s lack of self-worth grows and she begins to seek approval and affection outwardly, continuously picking the wrong partners. I was sobbing at some of these encounters. It takes her more than five years to begin to heal and understand she is worthy. I appreciated the redemption aspect of the story, but I wanted more. I was so rooting for her relationship with her mother. The story ends abruptly, but you are left with hope for their relationship.

Thanks you NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for providing this ARC.

Inconvenient Daughter by Lauren Sharkey, Akashic Books.

There are times when I stumble across an unexpected delight, and Lauren Sharkey’s debut novel, Inconvenient Daughter is one of those times. It is short, tightly constructed and strikes a wonderful balance between being easy to read, yet weaving together several important themes.

Rowan Kelly grows up in a loving family which is not her own. Adopted from the crib, as a child she can’t understand why she doesn’t share her mother’s curly hair and blue eyes; why she and her brother are both different. She loves her mother but, as she goes through kindergarten and childhood, comes to understand that she has a different mother somewhere, a mother in Korea – her “BioMom”. This, however, is a subject that her present mother evades with tears.

Rowan contacts the adoption agency direction to find out that her biological mother dumped her, unwanted, at an orphanage. And her adoptive parents adopted her – in Rowan’s by now teenage view – as second-best because they couldn’t have children themselves. This turns to open hostility when Rowan compares herself with her also-adopted brother:

At two years old, I thought this was how babies were made. There was a mommy and daddy, and the airport was where children were kept. I didn’t know two people had to decide they wanted children – that they had to consider if they were ready for this. I didn’t know those same two people would attempt to create life with their own bodies and fail. I didn’t know this baby wasn’t my “real” brother.

Real or not, Aidan is the good son of the family, the one who always has the right answers, gets the good grades, and manages not to upset his parents. Rowan is the trouble-maker who tries to date a man older than she; who, on the night of her first school dance, with a broken doorbell:

My concern wasn’t so much needing to know when [my date] arrived, but was born out of a desperate need to prevent Mom from getting to him before I could. With the doorbell to warn me, I could clear the hallway, the stairs, and the living room by the time Mom had stopped whatever she was doing in the kitchen. If Mom got there first, though, who knew what embarrassing things she would say to him in the time it took me to run down the hallway, jump down the stairs, and across the fancy couches we weren’t allowed to put our feet on.

The date goes well, but Rowan comes back well after hours to a blazing row: her mom’s rules are there because Rowan is not her real daughter and, as a consequence, seeks to control every aspect of her life.

Things settle down. The rite of passage that is the prom comes and goes. Her date is another adopted Asian, but they have little in common and, anyway, college looms. Both mother and daughter are stressed, and the weeks pass in a series of fights. But Rowan is offered a scholarship at the college of her choice.

Once there, she befriends Erin, from whom she becomes inseparable – until Hunter steps in. Hunter is a beautiful man, but possessive to the point of obsession. His jealousy soon leads to violence, and, although Rowan forgives him – “the preservation of our love had driven him to violence” – the trajectory is set.

Coming into her second semester, she’s suspended from college for lack of attendance. She goes home only to run away to Hunter. She has no choice but to live as a thief in his dormitory room. The violence becomes regular but when, one day, she sneaks out and bumps into Erin, she rejects her offer of help and defends Hunter.

Nevertheless, Hunter introduces her to his family. Although slow to get started, the visit results in a friendship of sorts with his mother. She encourages Rowan to call her own mother – an innocent conversation that results in another beating, and Hunter insisting to Rowan that “`Your mother is a fucking crazy, controlling bitch.’”

Back on campus, after striking her yet again, he abandons her in their room and goes off to party. Rowan has had enough; she is ready to go. But he returns, drunk, rapes her and dumps her, still naked, on the streets. Rescued by a stranger, her mother comes to collect her, yet Rowan resists turning in Hunter. Instead, she submits to a routine and, as time passes, realises that BioMom is the problem.

Rowan gets the records from the adoption agency to find out that she

was collateral damage–clothes that haven’t made the cut into the carry-on, pictures and ticket stubs thrown into a trash can and left to burn. There was nothing wrong with me – I just wasn’t worth the trouble.

Putting Hunter behind her, she finds a job, completes her education and bumps into an old flame. At first happy, that old flames becomes part of the problem and pivots her into the abyss.

If Inconvenient Daughter sounds anything but delightful, I do not mean the word in the sense of a gift box of chocolates. What is delightful is the skill with which Lauren Sharkey exercises her craft. The novel is far more than a coming of age or rite of passage account. It weaves several threads: of being different, of being adopted, of self-esteem and faltered communications, into a tapestry that reveals the picture, not the stitching.

The violence and lack of self-esteem that drive the plot are signaled. Each chapter starts with a flash-forward to a pivotal moment in Rowan’s life. This is a neat plot device, a foreshadowing that reveals just enough, but not too much. And much of the writing is beautifully understated – “In the bathroom, directly opposite my bed, was my collection of nail polish. By this time, I probably had about fifty colours – I had even paid for some of them.” was one of my favourites, along with, when Rowan attends an all-girls Catholic school:

As we approached the double doors leading to the auditorium, my eyes met Sister Margaret Anne’s. I’d been in her office for smoking in the bathroom two weeks prior, and last month for forging Mom’s signature on a note Sister Joan sent home about my “attitude.”

The internal monologues pack an emotional punch, and the characters are people I feel I’ve met.

The result is a sophisticated, skilled and ultimately a very moving book. For any novelist, it would be an achievement. For a first novel, it is astonishing.

Sold as general fiction or the fandangle New Adult title that books staring young people are now lugged with, this is a story that cannot decide if it’s a story about an adopted child trying to make peace with her perceived rejection by her birth mother and the troubled relationship she has with the mother who adopted her; if it’s about domestic abuse, or a young teenage girl growing into adulthood, or a woman desperately trying to find acceptance or love in unacceptable ways or any and all of the above.

I find myself screaming my frustration reactions after reading this novel to my teenage daughter and I feel a stabbing pain in my right eyeball because the reaction is so impossible to speak or think of quietly or succinctly. Initially, I feel loathing for the main character and annoyance at the path her life took. But maybe it’s a good thing that I’m having such a violent reaction to this book. That it got under my skin and that the main character is someone who I saw a part of myself in and fears what I see. That this book has made such an impact – negative but a strong negative – on me leaves me confused as to whether this is a good thing or bad. I never write book reviews from a personal point of view. I never talk about my own emotional reaction to a book. I try to keep it about the book. You aren’t reading this review to hear about me, you want to know if this book is worth your time investment to read. Because time to read is a scares resource and no one wants to waste it, but I have no clarity on whether to urge a reading or a wide berth. And I’m screaming that this book has taken several hours of my life that I will never get back and I’m resentful of that fact, but I’m also aware that only a truly great book can make me care so much about the story. That a great book – even if you hate the main character – will pull you in so deeply you will enmesh with the story that you know you won’t be able to forget.

And can you say you absolutely hated a book and yet also say that it was powerful, mesmerising, intricate and impactful with the same breath? That I read the book expecting a tale one way and ended up with a vastly different book that left me frustrated and intrigued at the same time. Rowan is originally from Korea, adopted by American parents with her Asian features making her stand out from the white-bread kids of her neighbourhood. It traces what one could call the usual teenage angst, the useless beating of wings against the bars of the supposed cage that only time will reveal to be a place of safety and love. It also shows the breakdown of familial bonds, of people unable or simply unwilling to help another person who is obviously suffering great mental anguish, the dissonance of which is sicking, painful and exhausting. It writes of stupid decisions made by a young woman who couldn’t think beyond herself that lead to truly tragic consequences, of failing at life for years and being both abused by others, but much of it being self -inflicted. That as the space between the reading and analysis of the novel goes from hostility to love and then to confusion in the space of moments. It's painful in its intensity as it takes you for a rollercoaster ride with every turn of the page.

Trigger warning – severe domestic abuse / sexual abuse and rape

I was really intrigued by the premise of this book. I can’t think of any other books I have read which look at the experience of children who are a different race to their parents. I also thought that I would relate to Rowan's experience with men.
Thanks to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This book follows Rowan, who was adopted from Korea by white parents. It follows her life as a child through to adulthood as she tries to grapple with her past and forge her own identity.
I really enjoyed the way the subject matter was handled from the perspective of Rowan as an adoptive daughter. Especially in the scenes when she was younger, comparing her experience as an adoptee with others.
Sometimes it felt as though the narrative was too rushed. There were also a number of instances where I think more could have been gained in the story as a whole if the narrative included the mother's perspective too.
Overall for me this was a 3 star read.

Inconvenient Daughter is about transracial adoption, having your sens of belonging questioned, building your identity while growing up. I really find that topic interesting, and this type of book, even when they're fiction like it's the case here can really help some readers with their own similar questions and issues. This is almost a self-help book.

Although I thought the book would be a linear piece of fiction following Rowan on her journey through self-discovery, but it was not exactly that. It's more a book regrouping slices of Rowan's life, in a somewhat random way. I really believe that it's something important to point out because I might not have picked it up if I had known it was built like this. Some people love slice of life books, but I personnaly don't, or at least not much.

Since the narration is from Rowan's POV, and that she's struggling with life and taking some space to reflect on some stuff, the narration was a little shaky sometimes, which was really a good way to immerse the reader in her mind. I like those unreliable-y narrators, those moments when you realize there's much more going on than what they know or are seeing. Love it.

My problem with the book, and the reason I'm rating it 3 stars is the fact that there is no linear timeline in the story. We keep jumping between Rowan's present and past every few pages, and it annoyed me. The chapters are also never long enough to truly get into the events unfolding, and then you get thrown in another period of Rowan's life, that you can only identify after reading several pages, which left me confused A LOT OF THE TIME. I hate not being able to place the events I'm reading, and it made me try to think harder about what I was reading, focusing more, making me more tired, which is not what I want to do when I read fiction like this. I want to go with the flow and not try to piece things together. Which is also why I don't like reading thrillers much ahah

So yeah, that was a strange read, that left me extremely confused most of the time, but the meaning of the story is really powerful and deserved a different way of telling it. If you are someone who enjoys peculiar books, with deep, dark action, that's for you, but that style was definitely not for me !