Inconvenient Daughter

Thanks to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

WOW. This book is tough to read at times, but it is fabulously written! I loved the way the book was organized, flipping back and forth between Rowan's present and her upbringing. Definitely a powerful read.

How life can go entirely wrong - and the roots and misunderstandings that underpin it. A story of family, relationships, and understanding yourself.

24-year-old Rowan Kelly is in the ER after a traumatic sexual encounter. From there, Rowan jumps back and forth through her life: her adoption from Korea, her childhood and teen years with white parents and a Korean brother on Long Island, and her Catholic school experiences. She also hints at her desperate desire to know why "BioMom" abandoned her, her troubled relationship with her mother, and her pattern of terrible romantic and sexual relationships. For the first half or so, Rowan's narration is a bit confusing and her purpose is unclear. She picks up narrative strength as she deep-dives into the events, thoughts, and feelings of an abusive relationship in college, and its connection to her self-talk and desperation for love from her mothers. Her later relationships and the crisis in the ER lead to a quick overview of the next ten years or so and the resolution of her status as a daughter.

Wow... there are so few words I can use to describe the raw intensity of this book. Filled with emotions and relatable situations, Lauren J. sharkey made it easy to feel what’s rowan was feeling, but also to feel what her mother was feeling, and to see the relationship fall apart and have to come back together again. If anything Rowans’s negative inner voice really spoke to mine as well, and brought worth tears I didn’t know I had to shed.

This was an accomplished and well-paced debut that kept me interested until the end. I liked the structure and the time jumps between present day and filling in the character's back story. The author takes on some very big issues ranging from identity, belonging and self esteem to infertility, adoption and family relationships to abuse and control, all of which are dealt with in a sensitive and powerful way. I thought the mother-daughter dynamic was articulated particularly well. I did feel the ending was a bit abrupt, and I thought that more might have come of the present day storyline given the buildup throughout the book. Overall an enjoyable read with well developed characters.

*Thank you to Net Galley and Kaylie Jones Books for this advance copy. Much appreciated!*

Inconvenient Daughter is a compelling debut from Lauren J. Sharkey. The book begins with 24-year-old Rowan Kelly undergoing an examination at the hospital after a sexual encounter. Sharkey then takes us back ten years to when Rowan is fourteen years old and taking her Catholic school entrance exams. Both Rowan and her younger brother, Aiden, were adopted, separately, from Korea by a white couple living on Long Island.

As Rowan goes through her formative years at an all girls’ Catholic school, her relationship with her adopted mother becomes strained. They have the usual mother-daughter fights, but Rowan escalates their arguments begins to feel unwanted by her adoptive mother. She then begins to wonder about her biological mom and why, in her view, she wasn’t wanted by her, either. This feeling of not being good enough Rowan accepts as truth and it becomes to foundation of her relationships with her friends, family, and the boys and men she dates throughout the next ten years.

Sharkey has written that is almost impossible to put down. Each chapter begins with a glimpse into the present day before going back to where the past left off in the previous chapter. It’s a rewarding form of storytelling as you can see who Rowan was and who has become. Rowan’s story is heartbreaking and you want to root for her, but she continuously makes poor choices. It’s easy to understand why given how little she values herself.

This was a great read. I finished it within 48 hours of receiving it from NetGalley.

This book is about a young woman navigating growing up as a transracially adopted child and struggling to find acceptance, love and belonging. A lot of it is extremely relatable because deep down, even if it’s just a little bit, sometimes we all feel like we are not enough and we are all craving to belong. Today people are more easily connected than ever, but also more isolated than ever.

I especially found the protagonist’s relationship with her mother touching and I’m not going to lie, some parts brought tears to my eyes. Since I know that this novel is written based on some of Sharkey’s experience, my heart ached for the protagonist and her mom.

All in all, a great debut and I can’t wait to see what else Sharkey will write about next!

Thank you to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

This book tells the story of Rowan, a girl from South Korea, who was adopted at 3 months old into a White American family. Throughout the book, the author (Lauren J. Sharkey) beautifully weaves in her own experiences as a transracial adopted girl, to tell the story of a girl grappling with the sense of not being enough. This is something that is experienced by girls in all situations, adopted or not, but Sharkey poignantly encapsulates the struggles when you have no sense of belonging. Rowan doesn't feel good enough for her biological mother (BioMom) or her adoptive mother (mom), and how her choices in the past are influencing her presently.

I liked this story, and it was a good example of a debut novel that has been well done for the most part and provokes thought. Having said this, at times the weaving between present and past was confusing - there was not always a clear separation that allowed me to understand what was happening presently and what was in the past. I also felt that the ending, while it worked, was a bit disappointing.

I would recommend this book if you are looking for a contemporary book that explores relatable issues in an interesting, multicultural way.

This book grabbed my attention as my husband born in Korea was adopted by a white couple. He too has struggled with what it means to be Asian and/or American.
In a society where it is easy to feel left out, I think the author’s writings reflect the issues of belonging, of what family really means and who and who isn’t really American.
I would have enjoyed this even more if the writing didn’t feel so disconnected in its timeline. However, the story eventually finds its pace.
In all, a thoughtful read and a great debut.

Thank you Kaylie Jones Books and Netgalley for this ARC.

Adoption is seen as a wonderful time for all involved especially as the promotion is so positive.
However, the dynamics between both involved when a young Korean girl is raised in an Anglo-Saxon enviroment becomes splintered when doubt, jealousy, love and parenting becomes an obstacle with conseqences for all involved.
The family breakdown leads to a heartrending time with Rowan searching for love making choices driven by the knowledge that her bio mom gave her away. Feeling rejected with self esteem gone leads to decisions to replace the love missing in her life.
This is an independent review thanks to NetGalley / Akashic Books / Kaylie Jones Books

Thanks to NetGalley and Kaylie Jones books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Inconvenient Daughter is a beautifully written book which keeps the reader engaged until the end.

The story follows Rowan, an adopted Korean girl to caucasian American parents. Rowan struggles with identity, family dynamics and the feeling of belonging, causing great problems with her self esteem.

The author takes on some delicate issues such as infertility and adoption to controlling relationships and abuse but with due care and sensitivity.

This powerful book is full of heartbreak and joy which brought tears to my eye.

A must read.

I have always been curious about adoption - specifically what it would feel like to be an adopted child and even moreso what it would feel like to be adopted by parent(s) of a different race. When I read about this debut - Inconvenient Daughter by Lauren Sharkey - I was immediately intrigued, and I'm here to report that I was not disappointed. Sharkey presents the reader with a first-person narrative that so vividly portrays the angst and insecurities of the female adolescent protagonist, Rowan, that I had to make sure this really was a novel and not a memoir. The need to belong is powerful, and this novel underscores the theme in an insightful and page-turning manner. Rowan gambles her future away when she mistakenly believes she is not loved by her adopted mother and turns to "men" to grant her the status of being #1 to someone, only to find out that she loses herself in the process. Perhaps she was her own worst enemy after all. Finally, in this era of the #metoo movement, this novel will appeal to a wide audience of women of all ages.

Thanks to NetGalley for the advance copy!

Inconvenient Daughter touches on many topics (adoption, sex, loss of identity, loneliness), and does so very well. The book runs in a non-sequential order, with 23 year old Rowan reminiscing on past memories and that tell us how she got in that predicament. As the book progressed, I felt for Rowan, felt her pain and her loneliness. She seeks to know why she feels so alone, why her mother gave her up, all while not seeing the very real love her adoptive mother had for her. I remember being aggravated with Rowan, not understanding why she just didn't see what her mother was offering to her and how great her family was, but this made me love her even more. All I wanted to do was protect her and wrap her up in a big blanket. Overall, this book made me look at my mother in a different light and made me appreciate those rough-talkings she gave me that made me the woman I am today.

"I didn't realize all she wanted was for me to have power over my own destiny, and thought a college education would give me the tools to harness and wield that power. I didn't know her only desire was for me to have the best of things, and that she didn't have the words to tell me."

What an amazing read! Inconvenient Daughter portrays the mother-daughter relationship so vividly and accurately that it makes me want to apologize to my mother even now, decades past my teens. I also saw quite a bit of myself in Rowan’s actions, seeking validation where there is none to be found, taking needlessly dire risks in an effort to feel worthy even for a short time. This would be a great warning read for teens, and their parents. Highly recommend!

Man, this book broke my heart! An ‘Inconvenient Daughter’ is told in first person in a stream of consciousness style. The protagonist, Rowan Kelly, details important events in her life that have lead up to her being in a hospital following a traumatic encounter. She was adopted from Korea as a baby by white parents in Long Island, New York. The story follows her emotional struggles with being surrendered for adoption and increasing tension with her mother, whom she views as controlling. Rowan’s lack of self-worth grows and she begins to seek approval and affection outwardly, continuously picking the wrong partners. I was sobbing at some of these encounters. It takes her more than five years to begin to heal and understand she is worthy. I appreciated the redemption aspect of the story, but I wanted more. I was so rooting for her relationship with her mother. The story ends abruptly, but you are left with hope for their relationship.

Thanks you NetGalley and Kaylie Jones Books for providing this ARC.

Inconvenient Daughter by Lauren Sharkey, Akashic Books.

There are times when I stumble across an unexpected delight, and Lauren Sharkey’s debut novel, Inconvenient Daughter is one of those times. It is short, tightly constructed and strikes a wonderful balance between being easy to read, yet weaving together several important themes.

Rowan Kelly grows up in a loving family which is not her own. Adopted from the crib, as a child she can’t understand why she doesn’t share her mother’s curly hair and blue eyes; why she and her brother are both different. She loves her mother but, as she goes through kindergarten and childhood, comes to understand that she has a different mother somewhere, a mother in Korea – her “BioMom”. This, however, is a subject that her present mother evades with tears.

Rowan contacts the adoption agency direction to find out that her biological mother dumped her, unwanted, at an orphanage. And her adoptive parents adopted her – in Rowan’s by now teenage view – as second-best because they couldn’t have children themselves. This turns to open hostility when Rowan compares herself with her also-adopted brother:

At two years old, I thought this was how babies were made. There was a mommy and daddy, and the airport was where children were kept. I didn’t know two people had to decide they wanted children – that they had to consider if they were ready for this. I didn’t know those same two people would attempt to create life with their own bodies and fail. I didn’t know this baby wasn’t my “real” brother.

Real or not, Aidan is the good son of the family, the one who always has the right answers, gets the good grades, and manages not to upset his parents. Rowan is the trouble-maker who tries to date a man older than she; who, on the night of her first school dance, with a broken doorbell:

My concern wasn’t so much needing to know when [my date] arrived, but was born out of a desperate need to prevent Mom from getting to him before I could. With the doorbell to warn me, I could clear the hallway, the stairs, and the living room by the time Mom had stopped whatever she was doing in the kitchen. If Mom got there first, though, who knew what embarrassing things she would say to him in the time it took me to run down the hallway, jump down the stairs, and across the fancy couches we weren’t allowed to put our feet on.

The date goes well, but Rowan comes back well after hours to a blazing row: her mom’s rules are there because Rowan is not her real daughter and, as a consequence, seeks to control every aspect of her life.

Things settle down. The rite of passage that is the prom comes and goes. Her date is another adopted Asian, but they have little in common and, anyway, college looms. Both mother and daughter are stressed, and the weeks pass in a series of fights. But Rowan is offered a scholarship at the college of her choice.

Once there, she befriends Erin, from whom she becomes inseparable – until Hunter steps in. Hunter is a beautiful man, but possessive to the point of obsession. His jealousy soon leads to violence, and, although Rowan forgives him – “the preservation of our love had driven him to violence” – the trajectory is set.

Coming into her second semester, she’s suspended from college for lack of attendance. She goes home only to run away to Hunter. She has no choice but to live as a thief in his dormitory room. The violence becomes regular but when, one day, she sneaks out and bumps into Erin, she rejects her offer of help and defends Hunter.

Nevertheless, Hunter introduces her to his family. Although slow to get started, the visit results in a friendship of sorts with his mother. She encourages Rowan to call her own mother – an innocent conversation that results in another beating, and Hunter insisting to Rowan that “`Your mother is a fucking crazy, controlling bitch.’”

Back on campus, after striking her yet again, he abandons her in their room and goes off to party. Rowan has had enough; she is ready to go. But he returns, drunk, rapes her and dumps her, still naked, on the streets. Rescued by a stranger, her mother comes to collect her, yet Rowan resists turning in Hunter. Instead, she submits to a routine and, as time passes, realises that BioMom is the problem.

Rowan gets the records from the adoption agency to find out that she

was collateral damage–clothes that haven’t made the cut into the carry-on, pictures and ticket stubs thrown into a trash can and left to burn. There was nothing wrong with me – I just wasn’t worth the trouble.

Putting Hunter behind her, she finds a job, completes her education and bumps into an old flame. At first happy, that old flames becomes part of the problem and pivots her into the abyss.

If Inconvenient Daughter sounds anything but delightful, I do not mean the word in the sense of a gift box of chocolates. What is delightful is the skill with which Lauren Sharkey exercises her craft. The novel is far more than a coming of age or rite of passage account. It weaves several threads: of being different, of being adopted, of self-esteem and faltered communications, into a tapestry that reveals the picture, not the stitching.

The violence and lack of self-esteem that drive the plot are signaled. Each chapter starts with a flash-forward to a pivotal moment in Rowan’s life. This is a neat plot device, a foreshadowing that reveals just enough, but not too much. And much of the writing is beautifully understated – “In the bathroom, directly opposite my bed, was my collection of nail polish. By this time, I probably had about fifty colours – I had even paid for some of them.” was one of my favourites, along with, when Rowan attends an all-girls Catholic school:

As we approached the double doors leading to the auditorium, my eyes met Sister Margaret Anne’s. I’d been in her office for smoking in the bathroom two weeks prior, and last month for forging Mom’s signature on a note Sister Joan sent home about my “attitude.”

The internal monologues pack an emotional punch, and the characters are people I feel I’ve met.

The result is a sophisticated, skilled and ultimately a very moving book. For any novelist, it would be an achievement. For a first novel, it is astonishing.

Sold as general fiction or the fandangle New Adult title that books staring young people are now lugged with, this is a story that cannot decide if it’s a story about an adopted child trying to make peace with her perceived rejection by her birth mother and the troubled relationship she has with the mother who adopted her; if it’s about domestic abuse, or a young teenage girl growing into adulthood, or a woman desperately trying to find acceptance or love in unacceptable ways or any and all of the above.

I find myself screaming my frustration reactions after reading this novel to my teenage daughter and I feel a stabbing pain in my right eyeball because the reaction is so impossible to speak or think of quietly or succinctly. Initially, I feel loathing for the main character and annoyance at the path her life took. But maybe it’s a good thing that I’m having such a violent reaction to this book. That it got under my skin and that the main character is someone who I saw a part of myself in and fears what I see. That this book has made such an impact – negative but a strong negative – on me leaves me confused as to whether this is a good thing or bad. I never write book reviews from a personal point of view. I never talk about my own emotional reaction to a book. I try to keep it about the book. You aren’t reading this review to hear about me, you want to know if this book is worth your time investment to read. Because time to read is a scares resource and no one wants to waste it, but I have no clarity on whether to urge a reading or a wide berth. And I’m screaming that this book has taken several hours of my life that I will never get back and I’m resentful of that fact, but I’m also aware that only a truly great book can make me care so much about the story. That a great book – even if you hate the main character – will pull you in so deeply you will enmesh with the story that you know you won’t be able to forget.

And can you say you absolutely hated a book and yet also say that it was powerful, mesmerising, intricate and impactful with the same breath? That I read the book expecting a tale one way and ended up with a vastly different book that left me frustrated and intrigued at the same time. Rowan is originally from Korea, adopted by American parents with her Asian features making her stand out from the white-bread kids of her neighbourhood. It traces what one could call the usual teenage angst, the useless beating of wings against the bars of the supposed cage that only time will reveal to be a place of safety and love. It also shows the breakdown of familial bonds, of people unable or simply unwilling to help another person who is obviously suffering great mental anguish, the dissonance of which is sicking, painful and exhausting. It writes of stupid decisions made by a young woman who couldn’t think beyond herself that lead to truly tragic consequences, of failing at life for years and being both abused by others, but much of it being self -inflicted. That as the space between the reading and analysis of the novel goes from hostility to love and then to confusion in the space of moments. It's painful in its intensity as it takes you for a rollercoaster ride with every turn of the page.

Trigger warning – severe domestic abuse / sexual abuse and rape

Publisher Synopsis: Rowan Kelly knows she’s lucky. After all, if she hadn’t been adopted, she could have spent her days in a rice paddy, or a windowless warehouse assembling iPhones–they make iPhones in Korea, right? Either way, slowly dying of boredom on Long Island is surely better than the alternative. But as she matures, she realizes that she’ll never know if she has her mother’s eyes, or if she’d be in America at all had her adoptive parents been able to conceive.

Rowan sets out to prove that she can be someone’s first choice. After running away from home–and her parents’ rules–and ending up beaten, barefoot, and topless on a Pennsylvania street courtesy of Bad Boy Number One, Rowan attaches herself to Never-Going-to-Commit. When that doesn’t work out, she fully abandons self-respect and begins browsing Craigslist personals. But as Rowan dives deeper into the world of casual encounters with strangers, she discovers what she’s really looking for.

With a fresh voice and a quick wit, Lauren J. Sharkey dispels the myths surrounding transracial adoption, the ties that bind, and what it means to belong.

Review:

I was in desperate need of a book that had me glued to the pages from start to finish, and Lauren J Sharkey has delivered. This sombre tale of an adopted Asian girl is similar to the works of Hanya Yanagihara, and had A Little Life vibes throughout.

Normally, when writing reviews I like to keep notes as i’m progressing through the book, however like I previously said, I was glued to this one, so much so that I didn’t make any notes.

This book, in it’s entirety is flawless. The writing is perfect and the story is gripping. You do truly feel the emotions of the characters and empathise with them. I am not adopted, but I could certainly relate to a low of Rowans feelings throughout adolescence. By the end of the book though, my heart hurt the most for Rowans Mum.

Gripping from start to finish, with a different kind of happy ending that what we are all used to.

My sincerest thanks to Netgalley and Akashic Books for a copy of this book in exchange for my review.

5 stars.

Well wow first of all this book is A LOT. Rowan is a Korean girl who was adopted very young by her white American family. Interracial adoption has always intrigued me as I used to be a childcare provider in a very privileged area and was wondering how some of the kids would fare later in life. Without giving too much away... I don't feel like the way Rowan goes on later in life has anything to do with her adoptive mom. I wish there was more background and in depth look at the relationship with her mom, I feel we readers were were only given the surface level so it seemed like Rowan was just being extreme. I read this book in one sitting so it did have my attention. The plot goes back and forth with the past and present and most of the time it was easy to tell, but sometimes I had no idea which "life of Rowan" I was reading about. In the end I feel like I finished this book being like that's it? Felt myself wanting more, but I won't take away from how it was an overall captivating read.

*for this book TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE*

Thank you to NetGalley for the advanced copy of this book. This book is very intense and I recommend caution to those that sexual trauma will be extremely triggering. At times very difficult to read but very powerful in its narrative description and development of the plot. I think that this is an author who has many stories to tell and I look forward to reading more of them

It's easy to imagine that a poor, unwanted child, abandoned - for whatever reasons - by her parents must be amazingly thrilled to find a happy, comfortable home half a world away. Easy, but by no means accurate. People tend to focus on all such a child had gained rather then what they've lost - the knowing who they are and where they come from, whether they have their mother's laugh or their father's nose, being part of the mainstream instead of a kid who doesn't look like her new family. In Laren Sharkey's fictional novel about such a girl, we find Rowan, a Korean-born and American-adopted girl, living on Long Island.

I have a friend whose sister was adopted from an orphanage in Malaysia. She's in her 60s now and you would be hard-pushed to find a more selfish, manipulative and money-grabbing person. She couldn't be more different than my friend, but reading 'Inconvenient Daughter' helped me to think again about how she turned her lucky break (escaping poverty and unwantedness by getting adopted) into a mission to prove to the world that she was better and richer than everybody else. What we learn is that an adopted child can potentially behave in horrible ways whilst trying to prove their value and to make themself special.

I liked Rowan though I'm not sure if it was in spite or because of her behaviour. She rails against her mother's authority, repeatedly tells her that she hates her, and gets into some terrible dysfunctional relationships with boys and men in the hope of becoming somebody's first choice instead of a substitute for what they really wanted. Boy, oh boy, does she choose some utter stinkers in the love stakes.

I found the whole thing very sad but very believable. I've seen young women go off the rails and end up so far on the wrong side of the tracks that they can't get back again. Rowan does things that many readers will find deeply disturbing but you'll need to read 'Inconvenient Daughter' because telling you more would potentially give away too much. For those who need trigger warnings, there's both physical and sexual abuse by the bucketload. It's an uncomfortable read but it doesn't exploit the violence just for titillation or shock factor.

I read a lot of books about immigrant experience, but this book offered something I'd not really thought about enough before - the impact of not just being an immigrant in a new country but also in a new family. It raises a lot of questions (and not too many answers) about the potential risks of trans-racial adoption.

In the unlikely event that the author is looking for any more book ideas, I would LOVE to get this story - or one like it - told from the perspective of the parents.

I received a free pre-publication ebook from Netgalley in return for an honest review.

I recommend this book highly.