This book tackles a universal struggle, avoiding confrontation, with a pragmatic, science-backed approach. Brian Lahoue’s tone is encouraging without being preachy, and his framework for handling conflict is straightforward: assess, prepare, and engage with empathy. The chapters on assertive communication and boundary-setting are particularly strong, offering actionable scripts for saying "no" or addressing tensions without escalating emotions.

That said, the book’s simplicity is both its strength and limitation. While the advice is clear (plan conversations, stay solution-focused, etc.), readers dealing with deeper issues—like complex workplace dynamics or personal trauma—might find the strategies surface-level. More real-world examples or role-play scenarios could’ve bridged this gap.

A note on the cover: The gun imagery feels at odds with the book’s emphasis on empathy and constructive confrontation. It’s an odd visual metaphor for a guide promoting healthier communication.

Overall, *Deal With It!* is a solid primer for those new to conflict resolution or anyone needing a refresher on assertive communication. It won’t replace therapy for deep-seated issues, but it delivers practical tools for everyday tensions.

A useful read, which looked at proactive ways of dealing with a range of topics including confrontation, communication and work.

I received a free copy of this book from Netgalley.

It is an essay about a very important topic that we face in everyday life. Whenever we face a challenge we try to ignore it or manage it impulsively.
Daily life brings multiple situation where we need to face people face to face during a confontration
This book tells about various things that we can do when situation gets tough and we face a daunting confrontation with our boss, wife, friend, enemy or system. It is very helpful and gives detailed explanation of various situations and appropriate response. A useful read based on psychology of masses.
It is repetitive at few places but overall good educational package which leaves impression on reader.

Deal With It by Brian Lahoue is a non-fiction book written to help the reader accept confrontation and effectively confront someone when needed. The author outlines the reasons why effective confrontation is important and the roles we tend to play that make confrontation ineffective. I found the sections on planning an effective confrontation and the tips for managing confrontation very interesting. However, I do wish the author would have provided concrete examples or actual roleplays of individuals implementing these skills. The lack of examples and brevity in explanations can make it difficult or over-simplified to actually implement and I think would provide the reader with some insights. Overall if you are someone well-versed in effective confrontation this would be a good refresher.

Many thanks to the publisher BooksGoSocial and Netgalley for the ARC in return for an honest review.

I give workshops and occasionally I cover topics to help people find their “voice.” You can’t find your voice if you are not clear on your attitudes and beliefs and are not comfortable expressing them.

What does this have to do with Deal With It! How to Stop Running from People, Problems, and Pressure?

First, as many people who have difficulty speaking up can tell you, people can and will fill in your silence with their own narrative for you. When this happens, a state of imbalance is achieved, frequently leading to unsatisfying outcomes. Whether you’re driven to not speak up due to a desire to keep the peace or due to a faulty idea you have less value, you’ve only accomplished failure to establish and maintain healthy boundaries at your own expense. Chapters one and two quite nicely cover the topics of finding your voice and becoming more assertive. The simplicity and sequential structuring of these chapters is much appreciated.

Clarity is a principle player in finding your voice. It also plays a principle role in character, accountability and resilience. These topics are covered in chapters three and four of the book.

Finally, creating balanced interpersonal relationships and leadership skills as they relate to dealing with adversity and confrontation are expertly detailed in chapters five through seven.

I enjoyed the simplicity of this book and the sequential format. It’s easy to read and packed with plentiful practical tips and insights for personal development.

Deal with It is one of the most competantly written books on conflict I've come across in some time. Even some of the perspectives such as 'conflict helps preserve the relationships you value' were new to me and worth trying on for size! I recommend this 100% at a behavioural and belief level. However, for those of with complex PTSD it unfortunately is not that useful as the issues go beyond what a book like this can provide. However, if you don't have this, highly recommended.

This book is well written and well research by someone who obviously cares about this subject, and I'm certain many will find it very useful. It's very comprehensive, and most importantly: It's PRACTICAL and not filled with theories.