I absolutely devoured this book! So insightful, witty and well written. This book is honest and open, and I found it to be quite the education and I discovered things I never knew. Will definitely be looking out for more from this author - a gem of a book!

Due to a sudden, unexpected passing in the family a few years ago and another more recently and my subsequent (mental) health issues stemming from that, I was unable to download this book in time to review it before it was archived as I did not visit this site for several years after the bereavements. This meant I didn't read or venture onto netgalley for years as not only did it remind me of that person as they shared my passion for reading, but I also struggled to maintain interest in anything due to overwhelming depression. I was therefore unable to download this title in time and so I couldn't give a review as it wasn't successfully acquired before it was archived. The second issue that has happened with some of my other books is that I had them downloaded to one particular device and said device is now defunct, so I have no access to those books anymore, sadly.

This means I can't leave an accurate reflection of my feelings towards the book as I am unable to read it now and so I am leaving a message of explanation instead. I am now back to reading and reviewing full time as once considerable time had passed I have found that books have been helping me significantly in terms of my mindset and mental health - this was after having no interest in anything for quite a number of years after the passings. Anything requested and approved will be read and a review written and posted to Amazon (where I am a Hall of Famer & Top Reviewer), Goodreads (where I have several thousand friends and the same amount who follow my reviews) and Waterstones (or Barnes & Noble if the publisher is American based). Thank you for the opportunity and apologies for the inconvenience.

Was a good-enough read...though I can't help but feel a little disappointed or let down by it. At the end of the day, what did it really say? It sounded more like a memoir dealing with grief of losing one's father and finding oneself in the throes of said grief, and much less about a love story of how 2 unlikely people met and forged an alliance, a marriage, a family together. Felt like if we'd seen more about the author and her life with her husband, who completely upended his existence for her, the whole read would've been more resonant than just telling us 'they were not gonna make it unless he converted'.
It read a lot like a first draft, in the sense that it veers from now (with kids - the 'married' part just doesn't seem to compute even 'now') to then - and 'then' was about Paris, was about the need to 'end up married', was about how the author lost her father, was about the grief of dealing with that loss.
Anything else but 'how we met' is really what this books tries to tackle...but it reads 'barely touched upon' and nothing really goes in deep
If you're new to South Asian culture and ways, then this might be an eye-opener. Coming from a similar background, this was nothing new to me, and probably why this book felt like a let down somewhat

How We Met is a heartwarming read, I loved how Huma talks about her struggles and the journey in overcoming them particularly the societal pressures she had to face. This memoir is not only about how she met her partner but also her life, experiences, her relationship with her parents, and the whole matrimony process most South Asian girls and women go through. Grief is one of the subjects she has dealt with in her book where she talks about her father's passing and that was the best part of writing for me. This is a coming-of-age story about life and what it means to have a 'happily ever after'.

Thanks to @elliottandthompson and NetGalley for sending me a copy. This is a must read!

A lovely memoir, but there were some moments of this book I felt a little overdone or, opposite sides, could have been delved into a little further. I would have, for example, loved to see more about Huma's relationship with her husband, especially the start of it.

This book was not quite what I expected, I think I was expecting something more upbeat but was a little disappointed.

I wish this book had more to do with her relationship with her husband or her family with him but it's mostly about her family and how radical an idea it is that she not marry some jerk from her culture to make her family happy. I feel like that book could also exist but that it should have been a separate book, it really made her marriage and husband seem secondary to her nuclear family's feelings. It also made it seem like she only wanted to marry someone, anyone, to have more self worth within her community.

In this 224-page-long memoir, Huma Qureshi writes about the challenges of growing up as a brown, British, Muslim woman, losing her father in her early twenties and the challenges of marrying a rather unsuitable white man who converted to Islam. The memoir is also about Huma creating her identity as an individual woman.

I thought this was going to be feel-good, cosy book to dive into, but instead it was an impossibly boring book. I felt as if I was cornered by a nosy relative at a family gathering who went on and on and on about her life.

The actual story is nice, but I think this would have much more interesting if it were an article instead of a book because there really wasn’t much to fill 200-odd pages. I did appreciate bits about the writer creating her identity and becoming her own woman, but all in all it was quite lacklustre.

The structure also felt a little haphazard. And it just felt like it she was going out of her way to justify cultural norms.. when it was totally unnecessary? Maybe because I’m a brown, Indian girl, I didn’t need all that context, but it still felt like it was a lot.
Then there’s this awkward bit about using water instead of toilet paper… like umm why? (This comes from someone who has no inhibitions talking about poop btw, it just felt awkward and pointless.)

Short and sweet. Huma Qureshi's love story is a quick read that tackles family relationships, dating as a Pakistani woman, insecurity, and finding true love. I don't think the story was groundbreaking, and it certainly wasn't surprising, but I think that was the intention. Real love stories aren't always like the movies, and this book takes on love from a different angle. We can see how race, location, religion, and expectations from others can sometimes make or break a relationship. Even in these modern times, women across all cultures are still expected to marry the "right" person young and have children, and that pressure, although outdated, is still a reality. This book was a quick and pleasant read, and I would recommend to anyone interested in non-conventional romance.

Although I'm not Muslim, I can relate to so much in this book. It got me instantly hooked. The author's openness and honesty about her deepest feelings, her insecurity, the loss of her father.
This is the sort of book that feels like a conversation with a best friend. Beautiful.

How We Met is an extremely beautiful book about family, love, grief, and coming of age.

Huma Qureshi has a simple, straightforward way of writing which is easy to connect with. As a reader, it took me a short bit of time to get engrossed in the memoir but then before I knew it, I was in floods of tears having been so emotionally invested. I'm not somebody who usually cries when reading books so that is certainly an impressive sign that this memoir made me feel so much.

Truly such a beautiful book! I hope more readers pick it up.

Thanks to Huma Qureshi for sharing her story with us, and to the publisher for sending me a copy via Netgalley.

Having a similar cultural background to Huma, I was really looking forward to reading this. I was not disappointed- the book was easy to read, almost feeling like being on a long walk with a friend recounting their experiences. The book doesn't pretend to be an in-depth exploration of cultural and societal differences experienced by a second generation immigrant, but rather is an honest account of Huma's story in meeting her partner. The 'ordinariness' of it all is what gives the book its charm- it feels like the reader is a friend to whom Huma 'rants' to and is comfortable with. A lovely read.

REVIEW: How We Met by Huma Qureshi

I was drawn to the bright cover, rave reviews on #bookstagram and the word memoir so despite having 100s of books planned for March and April I couldn’t stop thinking about this book and before I knew it I was reading and from the first few pages I was enchanted.

Huma Qureshi tells of growing in Walsall in the 1990s, balancing school and teenage life with the expectations and unwritten rules of her south Asian culture. As a young woman she found herself trapped between her family's need to find a suitable husband and her own desire for romance. She embarks on an adventure to study in Paris where her future seems to be open for her to shape as she so wished until her father has a stroke and that future disappeared. 

Upon returning home we are treated to a honest and often amusing account of her search for a suitable husband through traditional channels and after what I presume felt like an endless and fruitless search she meets someone. However he is neither Pakistani nor Muslim nor brown, and so not deemed to be suitable at all.

I really admired her strength throughout, the way she dealt with her grief for her father and the weight of expectation whilst trying to determine who she was a person is told in a raw, honest and unapologetically genuine manner. Huma in telling her story opens up her heart and displays it all for us the reader. She provides some really important messages about love, respect and kindness to your self.

It was beautiful, a true life ‘happy ever after’ story that also expanded my understanding of Muslim culture I was not only entertained by Qureshi's writing I was also educated by it.

Would definitely recommend this book to all thank you to @netgalley and @elliottandthompson for this copy 💛💛

A gentle, sweet memoir about the writer’s marriage and how she met her husband.

It reminded me that we all carry our own stories, how important family and tradition can be and how it can all mesh together.

I really enjoyed it. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher!

This is halal romance done right. While it is not suspenseful (we already know the ending), Huma's journey is a very pleasant read. I am very happy that this adult book is exceptionally clean, without expletives, violence, or intimate scenes. While it is an adult memoir, I can see young adults benefitting from this book. The transformation and acceptance of oneself, happiness, and love are universal. Muslim and Desi cultural norms in courtship, marriage, and relationships difficult for those growing up in the Western world, and this book shows that common ground and holding out for what you truly deserve are important. Thank you for the lovely story and happy ending!

In summary, a well written, warm, joyful and captivating memoir.

Although, my husband and I share a very similar background, and I’m not Muslim, I found parts of this memoir surprisingly relatable. Perhaps, like Huma, it’s because I also met my husband online, grew up in the Midlands or wasn’t quite sure about the ‘perfect’ Indian/Punjabi/ Asian idea of marriage. Whatever the reason, I was completely interested from the first page and I devoured this book in two sittings... would’ve been one if I had the time!

Whilst difficult subjects related to grief, self-worth and self-acceptance are discussed frankly, Huma’s down to earth and witty writing style, coupled with the different timelines, makes this an easy and engaging read. This memoir also strikes the right balance in terms of identifying issues as cultural or religious practices.

As I was reading this book, it reminded me of my very dear friend’s story and her husband (although they glamorously met under the stars rather than online!). It occurred to me, shamefully, that we’ve never really discussed how she told her family about their relationship and the difficulties she may have faced (if any).

This memoir demonstrates perfectly just how important it is to openly discuss what might be considered as ‘unsuitable’ practices so that, hopefully, the perception of ‘normal’ can change over time.

So would I recommend this one - Absolutely yes. If you’re looking for a lovely, heart-warming short story, then How We Met is the perfect read. Regardless of your religion or background, this is a fab love story (perhaps not a conventional rom-com but nonetheless a romance) and one I think you’ll enjoy.

Wow, I finished this in 2 sittings, firstly Huma's ability to tell her story was so raw and vulnerable and honest, such that by the end of this book I felt that I really knew her. It wasn't as much a love story as it was an insight to her life growning up as a second generation asian in Britain. She found a way to be truthful without sounding like she was complaining or seeking pity and I really appreciated that. Her narration of her life events came from a place of love and respect for her parents and this made her just more loveable. I really really enjoyed this and would recommend it to my peers.

Thoroughly enjoyed this book which I read in 2 sittings. It is not just about religious differences but helps you look at yourself and search for the good points and what you want from life. It makes you realise that other people have doubts about themselves.

I had friends at Uni who were "not allowed" to have relationships outside their religion (having lived in a white Christian community I was keen to get to know people of different cultures and religions and learn from them). Perhaps then I didn't realise how hard it was for them but reading this gave me a whole new light on the situation. I admit to flirting with a Muslim boy but nothing ever happened; perhaps this is why?

Without prying it would have been good to hear how the first meeting went with Richard's family and then between the families.

Huma and Richard's children sound to have amazing parents who will do all they can to find happiness and overcome any obstacles they may face. Wishing the family much happiness in the future.

Huma tells her love story, of how she met her husband. She navigates us through her life, including challenges women of a certain background face constantly. Eventually she is able to connect all parts of her life by marrying the man she loves and still to hold onto her loving family.

Beautifully written she draws you in, you’ll find it hard to put down.

How We Met by Huma Qureshi is a memoir about loneliness, the pressure to be a certain way, grief, culture and community, religion, race and relationships.

Several of my favourite Booksta accounts have already read this one and proclaimed their love for it (I’m paraphrasing) so I started this book with that reassuring feeling that it was going to be a great read. I wasn’t disappointed. What a treasure of a book.

Huma’s memoir tells the story of how she married her white, English husband but that’s only one element of it. She takes us through her twenties and her journey to self-confidence amid the rejections and scrutiny of trying to find a suitable match.

This memoir is never about the author rejecting her culture or faith, or wanting to escape them (or be rescued by a white saviour). It’s simply about her experiences and the fact that she happened to fall in love with a white guy. Huma says herself that this isn’t a story filled with drama and arguments but that doesn’t mean it was easy. And it’s a story well worth telling because it provides nuance where it is lacking and most importantly it’s real. I’m so glad she wrote this and shared it with the world.

There were many moments that I related to in some way or saw myself in. Her experience of grief and periods low self-esteem. I absolutely loved reading about the start of her writing career and also the way motherhood impacted it. Also have to mention my love for the insights into Huma in Paris (a Netflix show I’d find much more relatable). The anxiety that she spoke of leading up to telling her family about her choice of potential husband brought back memories of the crippling anxiety I felt before I told my family I was converting to Islam.

My favourite aspect of the book was Huma’s journey to contentment in herself before she met her husband, it was truly heartwarming and uplifting.
I know it’s early to say but this will be a stand out read of the year for me. Very excited about Huma’s short story collection coming out later this year.
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