This book is an eye-opening look at what it means to open up a relationship. As one person's experience, it's not a report on the lifestyle. But as an emotional retelling of lived experience, ie, a memoir, it's wonderfully rich and multi-faceted. Brava!

Thought I would find this one interesting but it just was not a book for me. Thanks for the review copy, I am sure others will like it.

As a married women I find the concepts of “open relationships” interesting (but not for me) and this book is exactly why. Adam was a walking/breathing “red flag” and I just didn’t understand how she could continue to be with him. Other than that the book was just a bit “meh” for me. I found I didn’t really care about reading it and it took me forever to actually finish it.

I really like Rachel Krantz. I have listened to her on podcasts for a while now. When I saw this was available to request I did not hesitate. While it is heavy on her journey with sexual experiences, which I don't want to read all about, for the most part, I think she is an amazing human and respect Rachel so much! I began following her because of her veganism and activism initially. She has a voice and a story to tell. I am so glad to have read it.

Thank you, NetGalley, Rachel Krantz, and the publisher for the opportunity to read a digital edition. I later bought the audible version to listen to. Rachel reads this herself and I often cannot pass up the opportunity to listen to an author read their own book if I know I like the book. Highly recommended! Audible version and ebook!

I didn't finish this book. Too many red flags/cringe-worthy moments with Adam. It seemed more like a terrible relationship than any exploration of "love, liberation, and non-monogamy.

An important book in an emergent field of study. I appreciated the author's candor and sensitivity, and I also found the narrative very riveting.

Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC of this book. People fascinate me, and I've read a lot of books about non-monogamy, but none this personal. I loved that it was both a memoir and a well-researched book on the topic. I read every footnote, and they added a lot to the story. I found it brave and vulnerable. It is VERY graphic, and the main relationship in the book is definitely problematic, which was difficult to read at times. But overall, I really enjoyed it.

On Liberation: A Conversation with Rachel Krantz, Author of Open: An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy
April 7, 2022
Interview by Amy Reardon

Book cover: Open by Rachel KrantzFrom the first pages, Rachel Krantz’s Open, An Uncensored Memoir of Love, Liberation, and Non-Monogamy grabs the reader by the throat. This is an unsettling romance, with urgency and tension that work to form the story’s central question: will she save herself?

It’s 2015, and Krantz has met a new lover, Adam. She embarks on the most exciting sexual awakening of her life, and also, she begins to lose herself, her sense of reality, and agency over her life. Because she is a professional journalist, Krantz begins documenting the experience, researching, and consulting experts. The result is this, her debut memoir.

To read Open is to fall in deep and lose one’s bearings. I heard warning bells, felt titillated, then sick to my stomach, but mostly, I kept reading, curious to follow this journey, to learn what Krantz was learning about love, anxiety, and the ideas she had internalized from American culture. ‘That’s very common,’ Krantz tells me. ‘People message me, saying they experienced a wide range of emotions. They were crying and laughing and feeling turned on and disturbed, and I’m glad it is that immediate.’ Our dualistic culture likes to tell us it has to be one or the other, she says. ‘Either you’re having this liberating experience or you’re increasingly mired and abused, but often, or at least in my story, what’s so confusing is that both things are happening in truth at the same time.’

I spoke with Krantz via Zoom at her home in California. We talked about the compulsion to “settle down,” the seductiveness of rom-coms, and starving women. We were careful to avoid spoilers.

I don’t like the writing style of this author. What should have been a very personal memoir felt like a piece of impersonal journalism. I never felt any emotional attachment or empathy for the author. That being said, what I did really enjoy were all of the notes/resources she shared for each chapter. I found these very interesting and informative.

The writing was beautiful and engaging but the conversations around non-monogamy throughout the book felt shallow - not in the depth of their descriptions but in the way the author shared their specific thoughts and experiences. Not my favorite book on non-monogamy.

I was asked to read/review OPEN based on my previous reading of THE PISCES by Mellisa Broder. THE PISCES is a fantasy novel of a twenty-something woman recovering from a failed love relationship. She meets a merman (SPLASH, it's not), supposedly falls in love, and has sex with him in an unusual way.

Rachel Krantz has written a documentary footnoted account of her journey to find THE ONE, even though she can't imagine kissing the same person for the rest of her life. Yet she falls under the control of a lover who controls her and their very open sexual lives.

This book about sex is anything but sexy. Instead, it's about POWER, complete with pain and mind games. And, although, enlightening regarding the multitude of how people use or abuse sex to satisfy a deep emotional need. It is sad and disturbing.

This is a difficult book to review. I wish I could recall where I saw it recommended and in what context. Anyway, I think the number one thing about this book is that the title and subtitle are misleading. Yes, this book is about all those things but, it is first and foremost a book about an emotionally abusive, controlling relationship. And that was hard to read. It was a lot of heavy subject matter.

There should be trigger warnings for: emotional abuse, alcohol and drug abuse/dependency, disordered eating, sexual assault.

Because of the misleading title, I would think that this book does a bit of a disservice to telling a well-rounded story about non-monogamy. It's probably fine to read if you already have awareness and understanding but it's not a great representation if the subject matter is completely new to you. (You can see from past reviews that I'm a long-time listener of Dan Savage's podcast so the subject matter is not unfamiliar to me.)

All that said, this was an engaging story and the author did a good job of weaving in research and expert advice into her story. I highlighted a lot and appreciated the thorough and inclusive references.

The book is well worth the read but I think one can appreciate it more knowing what they are getting into.

I didn't really know what to expect with this title because the book is different from my usual reading, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I felt like the author thought this book through quite well and knew exactly the story she wanted to bring to a reader before she ever sat down at a computer to type the opening sentences. The information presented and the organization behind the author's thoughts were refreshing .

I'll be looking for this author again.

Having been happily married, monogamously, for 20+ years, I was intrigued by this memoir because the concept of “the lifestyle” is so antithetical to my desires. I’m certainly not prudish – to each their own – but I know I could never overcome my jealousy of knowing my partner was with another person romantically. How is it possible to be liberal enough, even aloof enough, to be secure in an open relationship?

At the risk of sounding contradictory, I appreciated her use of external sources to support her rationalizations, but simultaneously found the psychology at times over the top. Rachel was a broken person while she was with Adam. It was often painful to read. Rachel’s words often became self-indulgent, losing focus with glib psychoanalysis, but then she would come back to center and introduce the reader to a new idea. I found myself more than once staring wide-eyed at her words thinking, “That’s exactly how I felt with [gaslighting crazy ex] . . .”

Rachel Krantz is aware of how her situation with Adam is not universally applicable. At times salacious, at times brutal, this memoir strikes at the heart of the human condition, the craving for security and desire to be cherished. People fulfill that need in different ways, and Rachel pretty much explores them all. It all boils down to self-esteem, empowerment, and self-awareness. It’s not really about sex at all.

Rachel’s book is brave and candid, and she trusts her reader. I’m grateful she shared her story with me.

Many thanks to Netgalley and Harmony for this advance copy.

This was fascinating as someone who can’t begin to relate to wanting to live non-monogamy. It’s why I love memoirs, being able to see behind the curtain into lives that are different than my own.
However, it was hard me to gather the needed sympathy to the authors situation, which probably says more about me than her, but alas, it was my reading journey. It also felt a bit too detailed and graphic.

To be honest, I don't know quite how I ended up reading this book since it is light years different from my own beliefs. It was somewhat interesting (but for me depressing) to read about the author's adventures. The writing was rambling at times and there were very dull parts sprinkled with events that seemed designed to 'spice things up' in the book.

It wasn't for me, but no book is for everyone.

This was a DNF for me. I kept reading, hoping I would get more interested in it, but it just didn't happen. It was not something I would have normally picked up, but I am trying to read things outside of my comfort zone. I personally have zero desire to be in an open relationship; however, I wanted to learn more about people who were in one.

This book reads more like a woman trying to teach others instead of just sharing her experiences. There are even several footnotes at the end of each chapter that seemed completely unnecessary. Rachel was in a toxic relationship that she continually justified as okay.

Maybe if I went into reading this book like it was fiction instead of a memoir, I might have be able to get through it. Thank you Netgalley for giving me the opportunity to read this book in exchange for a free and unbiased review.

Thank you Netgalley and the publisher for an advance copy of this book . What follows is my honest opinion.

This book reads like reading a person's diary because essentially that's what it is. Open is a meticulous account of Rachel Krantz's five-year journey into her first consensual non-monogamous relationship. The book is unlike anything I've ever read as the author a journalist became her own story and eventually, it became this book. This is not some gonzo journalism where she chased experiences for stories rather this is one woman's unique experience laid out for the whole world to see. What started as personal journal entries for herself soon morphed into an intentional effort to catalog all of her emotions and interactions for use in this book. This in turn offers the reader insight into the author's mindset at varying points that would not be available if the book was written in retrospect. Peppered with verbatim conversations, personal journal entries, and notes from therapy sessions this book is a candid account of Ms. Krantz five year undoing during her first polyamorous relationship. It must be said that this book does not have an agenda and is not meant to evangelize or disparage non-monogamous relationships. Nor does this book offer a tidy narrative that can serve any such purpose. The author's relationship with her boyfriend Adam ( a pseudonym) which is the main focus of this book is an unhealthy relationship that one could argue was emotionally abusive. This information is not offered as a refutation of non-monogamous relationships, it is simply the fact of the author's personal experience. The author actually goes to great lengths to show a nuanced perspective of non-monogamous relationships outside her own experience. Open is a raw and visceral read that I am sure will evoke strong reactions from readers regardless of where they stand on non-monogamy. I think it is important to remember when reading this book that all relationships have the ability to be toxic and abusive. There are plenty of monogamous relationships that fit this bill yet we do not believe that all monogamous relationships are poisonous. Ms. Krantz can only offer us her truth and
the sheer vulnerability this endeavor required is astounding. Ms. Krantz left a piece of herself between these pages and I feel honored to have received it.

TW: Book deals with issues of emotional manipulation, sexual assault and nonconsensual restraint.

Such a powerful read. I learned so much about polyamory, love, and much more. Rachel Krantz really exposes her soul here, it's incredible.

This is a difficult book to give a star rating to, and a hard one for me to review.

First and foremost, I don't think this is quite the book that the title and synopsis suggest. While non-monogamy exists throughout the book, for me the book is at its core the story of an emotionally abusive relationship, not non-monogamy. This makes it a difficult book to read, particularly if you have been in a similarly unhealthy relationship dynamic in the past.

I did learn some interesting things about non-monogamous culture and felt there was a great deal of good research into these subjects throughout, and a lot of care to approach sexuality from a non-judgmental and open lens. The author's approach to storytelling was interesting and there is a real effort to let even the least positive characters retain their humanity.

In spite of all these aspects I admired in the writing, I can't say this is a book I personally recommend. However, it is one I will probably be thinking about for a good long while.

Thank you to the publisher and to NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to read an advanced digital copy of this book, in exchange for my honest review.