A good guy, in a dubious world of drugs and porn, suddenly discovers a new spin on death and has to navigate his new normal. An entertaining mix of humour and horror with a more than generous smattering of profanity.

I never received this book so I cannot review or comment. It sounded right up my street hence why I wanted to read. I wish I could've.

It's a darkly fun story that I was able to read through very quickly. I'd have preferred that the cliffhanger be more abstract than ending mid-scene, but it certainly leaves you wanting to pick up the next installment.

I tried to finish this book. I mean, in general I love vampire stories, especially from a newer author. I love the different takes on vampirism, how vampires work in society,...

But I must admit, I stopped reading the book before the protagonist, Bob, even became a vampire (almost halfway through the story). Why? Because Bob is an unlikable, psychotic jerk who works as a night clerk at a sex shop, drinks way too much, uses drugs way too much, and makes questionable life choices. To be honest, I don't care that he works at a sex shop. But the constant hangovers, stalking his ex-girlfriend, pulling his friends into his questionable life, whining about his life... I find Bob to be unsympathetic to the point that I was rooting for the vampires to just straight up kill him.

I'm a huge fan of badass vampires and origin stories. I really enjoyed the world building and characters. the descriptions of characters and places make it abundantly clear that it was intended for adaptation into a visual medium, which took me out of it and took up more space than the actual plot. having said that, i loved the pacing, the rules and the big bad of it all. eagerly awaiting the next installment but equally eagerly awaiting the Netflix show!

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4306703126

NetGalley ARC Educator 550974

This was an amazing one sitting read. Laugh out loud funny and could be the next cult classic. Bob is a screwup. He's lovable and honest, a bit of a stalker too. One night things gets out of hand.

What follows is Bob's tale of events. Thankfully this is book 1. Can't wait for book 2.

Official title: How Not to Vampire
My title: Drugs, Sex and Vampires
Author: Rodney V. Smith
Publisher: Lost Bajan Books - BooksGoSocial
Fav character: Harry (I appreciate vampire snobbery)
Type: Book
Will I read the others? Nope
3.7/5

Lots of roaming, getting high, random vampires, stalking, cursing and lusting… little fantasy ☹️. Basically, a teen-aged boy’s drug-induced account of turning and living as a brand-new vampire. Expect sexy, hot and pretty women everywhere you turn, lots of randomly exposed boobs and nakedness and a stunted vocabulary… and yes, a heroine - who has blocked and issued a restraining order on the ‘hero’ - EHEM - needs to be rescued. 😬

Not terribly written, but in a candid and crude style that is not for everyone, we follow Bob the eternal screw-up on the last 6 months of his human life. A culmination of events, induced by alcohol, weed and heroine cause him to lose his life and spend the next three days pooing, vomiting and bleeding as he transforms.

Bob will awaken to hard and dangerous truths of being an ‘accidental’ vampire and will come to grips with his inability to deal with and manage his own life. In the midst of this drama, he will find enemies that hate him and prove that he lacks any modicum of common sense.

Sigh… Bob 🤦

How Not to Vampire by Rodney V Smith, brought me out of my reading slump and am happy that it was this book! This book, in many ways, is a stellar example of what creative writing lecturers mean when they say you can have an amazing book with just an interesting character voice. I have read similar voices in rom-coms and chick-lit (*wink-wink* at people who have read the book. If you know, you know), but it was a splash of freshness to read it within the genre (of fantasy of course). On further googling I discovered that this book was available initially as an episodic story series on Wattpad - if you get in to the book knowing this tidbit, you'll be more in tune with what to expect from the story structure. As long as you know what to expect from the story- an awesome time pass with an interesting voice with not much for a plot - you are going to love it!

So entertaining and a great, intriguing ending. I loved the vampire society, it was so interesting. I can't wait to read the next book.

Bob is a likeable sad sack unable to get over his ex-girlfriend who walked away after learning that he's storing heroin for a dealer in their apartment. He works in a porn shop and spends the first half of the book drunk, high, or both. A pillar of society he is not, and as far as he's concerned, the more expletives in a sentence, the better. If you're offended by such, this isn't your book.

Yet Bob is clearly a good guy despite his bad habits. His friends know his weaknesses but have his back no matter what, which is why one of them saves his life despite risking a death sentence for turning him into a vampire.

The book really hits its stride here with the discovery of vampire society, We meet some great characters, including a no-nonsense vampire ER doctor and the unstable but unstoppable Beatrice who takes charge of Bob as her vampire protege. His best friend Claude remains all in even after Bob goes fangy. The author writes dialog well, especially between these two. and I found myself wishing Bob became a vampire much sooner in the book; it doesn't take long to figure out that Bob's a hot mess, after all. The novel grew on me as I kept reading. I'm not a fan of cliffhangers, but there's enough promise by the ending that I'll be interested to see what happens in book two.